What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

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What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby theCryptofishist » Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:25 pm

The opening of the "Ticket Wanted" sub-forum brings on the usual begging for tickets. I read those threads and think I wouldn't want to sit next to them on public transit, much less give them a ticket. Yet, if I had extra tickets and there wasn't an economic imperative and if all my friends had all the tickets they needed, I might give a ticket to a stranger. But why?

And why might you.

It goes without saying that everything here will a lie. No need to give them clues...
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Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri


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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby lemur » Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:49 pm

they would have to be a deaf, blind, mute quadriplegic with cancer and who had a sick mother and a dying cat.. also, theyd have to be having financial troubles..

or, this guy from a Joel Peter Witkin photograph:

Image

It's a real human being. He has no arms, no legs and no skin. The bandages are to keep him moist. And his cock looks like it was burnt off. He is very intelligent. He is a thalidomide victim, thirtyfive years old. While signing the release, with his prothesis, he said to me "whatever you do, Joel, make me look like a real human being". He is on pain killers all the time. The two men who live with him, in LA, are drug addicts. They wrap him up every day and share his drugs.

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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby lemur » Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:51 pm

because everyone should enjoy burning man..
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby theCryptofishist » Thu Apr 19, 2012 8:51 pm

Wouldn't it be more fun tricking a deaf, blind, mute into believing that he's at the burn?
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"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri


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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby catinthefunnyhat » Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:17 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:Wouldn't it be more fun tricking a deaf, blind, mute into believing that he's at the burn?


It would be a heck of a challenge. You'd need lots and lots of people, touching and bumping into him (I've decided our imaginary friend is a "he") with their sweaty bare skin and variously-textured costumes. You'd need lots of loud music, loud enough to reverberate in his chest. You'd need heat and wind during the day, cold and wind at night, and lots of dust to blow into his hair and skin and clothes and food. And then you'd need to get the smells, especially that special playa-dust smell (no simulating the dust with talcum powder or bath salts), but also fire toys, cook fires, tobacco and pot smoke, sweat, coffee, porta potties... And you'd need space, or a way to create the illusion of space, so all these tactical and olfactory sensations could approach, linger, and recede, mixing and separating, as he moves past and through them.

It might be fun to do, but it would take a lifetime of work. Better to just give him a ticket and bring him to the real thing.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby theCryptofishist » Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:20 pm

On the other hand, he might not know what to expect, so you could leave him in a barn for a week. Couldn't you?
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri


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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby catinthefunnyhat » Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:26 pm

theCryptofishist wrote:On the other hand, he might not know what to expect, so you could leave him in a barn for a week. Couldn't you?


Someone's been over-internalizing her readings about Gulags. :evil:
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby BBadger » Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:28 pm

Define "stranger." For me, if the person is a stranger, I don't actually know the person well enough to give him/her a ticket. I know people I've never met in person, but know quite well through communications, that I'd probably gift a ticket to--but they're not "strangers" to me at that point.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby theCryptofishist » Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:30 pm

So, if the ticket manifesters want you to gift them a ticket, they better start now on getting to know you, so they can go in 2013...
The Lady with a Lamprey

"The powerful are exploiting people, art and ideas, and this leads to us plebes debating how to best ration ice.
Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri


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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby BBadger » Fri Apr 20, 2012 5:51 am

theCryptofishist wrote:So, if the ticket manifesters want you to gift them a ticket, they better start now on getting to know you, so they can go in 2013...


Well hopefully that's not the only reason they want to know me, or they won't be getting any tickets. ;)
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby Simon of the Playa » Fri Apr 20, 2012 8:17 am

lemur wrote:She would have to be a deaf, blind, mute quadriplegic with cancer and who had a sick mother and a dying cat.. also, sheed have-ta hava Bigga Tits!



that joke never gets old.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby wh..sh » Fri Apr 20, 2012 9:30 am

I will give me free ticket to anyone who can write the most impressive poem/prose explaining why they want my ticket.
The poem/prose should mention NOTHING about burning man, playa, dust, "about how burning man is home", art, "how burning man changed life", "dust calling", kindness and all that.
In my world there's only legible and more legible.

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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby Lassen Forge » Fri Apr 20, 2012 9:37 am

--shrug-- I dunno, but what's sad was with the new ticket thing it makes it darned difficult to gift a ticket. Usually, I have a fairly loose criteria, (one) being someone in our camp (or village) who needed one and didn't get one, and that qualified under (two) would be to someone who I felt understood the whole burning man thing, and was gonna make an amazing contribution to the playa. Doesn't have to be a long time or returning burner... hopefully next year things will change and we'll be able to surprise someone with a ticket again. It's one of my favorite things to do at BRC - share the love, ya know...

I only ask that someday they pay it forward... if and when they are able...
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby mama g » Fri Apr 20, 2012 10:08 am

the golden rule.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby knowmad » Fri Apr 20, 2012 11:32 am

I Would gift a ticket to one of those boneheads at the gate, for the right to make them, drink on command,the entire event! maybe I could have a button or somthin. unless of course said bonehead was a Virgin then; They'd have to Drink and....

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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby BBadger » Fri Apr 20, 2012 11:39 am

Now this is entering into "exchanging presents" and/or "indentured servitude" rather than "gift" which has no strings attached once given.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby knowmad » Fri Apr 20, 2012 12:11 pm

BBadger wrote:Now this is entering into "exchanging presents" and/or "indentured servitude" rather than "gift" which has no strings attached once given.

yeah. And Technically if were doing it right the only reason to give a ticket for is the warmfuzzy.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby 5280MeV » Fri Apr 20, 2012 3:00 pm

All this talk of gifting has made me rethink my standing offer of selling my ticket for $999,000.

I am ashamed.

I don't see the wrong in asking for a little token of appreciation of some sort - perhaps a poem, piece of artwork, or some bacon.

In my case, I will freely gift my ticket to anyone, and ask for only 608 and 1/4 ounces of gold bullion in return, as a small token of thanks.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby knowmad » Fri Apr 20, 2012 5:57 pm

Souls! Juicy souls!

Cathulu made me write that.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby Sham » Fri Apr 20, 2012 6:13 pm

In 2008, I was asked by an artist friend if he knew how he could get a ticket--being his first year. He was worthy and I offered him my annual gift ticket. He wanted to return the favor the next year by giving me one. "Sorry buddy, go find your own worthy soul to gift a ticket to, I don't want it!"

There is really nothing anyone could offer my for a gift ticket---otherwise it wouldn't be a gift ticket.

This years' ticket situation has made my annual ritual a problem. I don't have an extra. I am going to have to get creative.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby catinthefunnyhat » Fri Apr 20, 2012 7:16 pm

knowmad wrote:Cathulu made me write that.


I did no such... Oh, not me. Close. :D
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby FeetOfClay » Sat Apr 21, 2012 5:49 am

I guess for me, the choice of whom to gift a ticket to would depend on that person NOT doing any of the following:

-expressing a sense of entitlement (either b/c of many years attending, or being a virgin, or whatever)
-slandering any other group, or generally whining about ticket fiasco, etc.
-using their sexuality, or sounding coquettish about ticket (ie: dangling sexual favors)
-posting a WANT thread full of spelling, grammar, or proofing errors (make the effort!)
-trying to elicit sympathy for any situation, condition, etc.

That being said, I have NO extra tickets, so I don't know how relevant this post is.
But if I ever have extras in the future, I am happy to gift them to any non-entitled-non-slandering-chaste-erudite-self-reliant mofos :lol:
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Sat Apr 21, 2012 6:06 am

I wouldnt gift it at all.

Id make you blow me for it...im traditional that way.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby H.G.Crosby » Sat Apr 21, 2012 6:10 am

Ooooooh, its gonna be one of 'THOSE' days...
Once I noticed I was on fire, I decided to relax and enjoy the fall™
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sat Apr 21, 2012 6:11 am

Will you two shut up, im trying to be grumpy over here.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby shykat » Sat Apr 21, 2012 7:43 am

one night+reno+cocaine+strippers



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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby knowmad » Sat Apr 21, 2012 9:45 am

Two nights Vegas+cocain+stripers .
Pre and Post Burn of course.
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby AntiM » Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:11 pm

Strippers who would come do my housework.
we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .
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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby theCryptofishist » Mon Apr 23, 2012 4:13 pm

Male or female?
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Man, no wonder they always win....." Lonesomebri


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Re: What *Would* You Gift A Ticket For?

Postby AntiM » Tue Apr 24, 2012 4:16 am

I'm not choosy.
we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .
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