when we have our tempers a' flarin.. or our emotions/feelings/wishes/dreams come into question.. we may post heartfelt stuff that means a lot to us, stuff that comes right from the core of our being.. something we feel is not just 'right' but what we FEEL is 'right'.. a thing that cant really be questioned, our feelings... . it may be an important subject we feel strongly about, a huge part of our lives.. in times when we post this kind of stuff, and care about this stuff enough to post about it.. we rarely want to be disagreed with or told 'the facts' ..we want to be told 'ya kno! youre right..' or hugged.. or consoled..
we dont want to be told "ya know, dont worry.. actually, the world ISN'T flat and your husband didn't just fall off the edge of the earth..." it might be the truth.. but it won't make that yearning and that pain/feeling/emotion go away..
maybe there are better times for that kind of discourse, maybe there are better places...
this is happening in our community right now, and also in the past whenever these issues we all care so deeply about come up..
it is hard for us not to feel dismissed, condescended, patronized, insulted, or all sorts of other things when what we really want is someone to recognize that our feelings/emotions/reactions arent out of the ordinary, they arent just reactionary.. they do have purpose and a reality.. they do exist and are right to exist..
a problem comes about when a couple/group/community/nation/culture has an issue that is divided in opinion in some way, where a consensus hasnt been reached.. because the people on one side of the fence have feelings and emotions that are cared about just as much as the ones on the other side of the fence.. and neither side can truly devalue the feeling and emotion of the other..
while some may do things that actually intend to condescend/mock/dismiss/patronize/insult/mistreat.. it is just as easy for one who didnt intend to do any of these to create the same feelings.. as this is something we care deeply about sometimes any word of advice, any comment that isnt one that validates the rightness in our feelings and emotions can make us feel hurt to the core..
we cannot easily solve that problem without segregating ourselves.. even the most well intended of us can hurt and make another feel their feelings dont matter, or arent relevant.. it is easy to do even when youre treading with the most extreme care..
...when a wound is fresh even the best attempts to heal it can hurt.
"If I wished to shake this tree with my hands, I should not be able to do so. But the wind, which we do not see, troubles and bends it as it lists.
We are worst bent and troubled by invisible hands."