I shall reinvent the mousetrap. A noble and grand experiment into cooler dynamics.
Question: Will an old school Coleman 120 Marine cooler lined and subdivided into 3 individual, interior coolers be suited for long term frozen storage for a new foray onto the desert landscape?
Prior results and data: Based on available data contained herein, we think we have developed a suitable plan of action to make such goals a reality.
Hypothesis: By further insulating the existing cooler and then subdividing the cooler into 3 separate interior cooler spaces utilize rigid insulating material, our experiment should yield a compartmentalized frozen storage unit suitable for a week's worth of use.
Preparation: The lid, interior walls and floor of the existing cooler shall have a layer of half inch, high density insulating foam with an attached radiant heat barrier installed. Sealed compartments made from the same material shall be constructed and placed into the cooler.
Experiment: Each compartment shall receive 4 to 6 one gallon ziplock bags that have been filled with water and frozen to simulate food mass. On top of the frozen bags shall be placed a quantity of 10 to 12 pounds of dry ice in block form. The dry ice shall be wrapped in newspaper and sealed with masking tape.
Once each compartment has been loaded and sealed, the cooler lid shall be closed and sealed with a layer of tape. The cooler shall be placed upon a pedestal on the back patio area to separate it from the ground and the cooler shall be wrapped lovingly into the folds of a flexible, insulating material.
Phase 1: The cooler shall be left sitting, ignored and alone, for a period of 4 calender days before the first compartment is opened. If the contents are still frozen, the cooler shall be praised for its ability to hold cool inside despite adversity and antiquation and rejoicing will be had in the form of dancing raccoons on tables and fizzy lifting drinks.
The frozen ziplocks shall be removed from the first compartment and shall be placed into "Camp Cooler #1" and become the subject for the ongoing, simultaneous camp cooler experiment that is detailed elsewhere.
If phase one has revealed failure and the contents of the compartments did not maintain their frozen state integrity, the raccoons shall be slaughtered and the fizzy lifting drinks shall be poured upon the ground to appease the cooler gods and to the drawing board we shall return.
Phase 1A: 4, 1 gallon capacity ziplock bags of water filled 3/4 to capacity to simulate ice melt captured in ziplock bags shall be placed back into the first compartment and the compartment shall be resealed. The cooler lid shall then be closed and resealed and the insulating wrap shall be reapplied.
Phase 2: Over the course of the next two days, the cooler and contents shall be offered encouraging words and cold thoughts of frigid, arctic landscapes.
Compartment two shall be opened first. If the contents are still frozen, music from Scandinavian Death Metal band Wheezing Octopus shall be played at amplified volumes approaching ear drum shattering levels and fortified fizzy lifting drinks shall be applied to the dancing raccoons so that they may gyrate at the the ends of tethers.
The frozen ziplocks shall be removed from the second compartment and shall be placed into "Camp Cooler #2" and become the subject for the ongoing, simultaneous camp cooler experiment that is detailed elsewhere.
If compartment 2 shall reveal failure, the lead scientist shall wander the lab with a gas recoil operated, Smith and Wesson M&P 15 semi automatic rifle and punish the lab rats for their failures. The raccoons shall be slaughtered and the fortified fizzy lifting drinks shall be poured upon the ground to appease the cooler gods and to the drawing board we shall return.
Phase 2A: In the event of a successful Phase 2 of the experiment, compartment one shall be opened to ascertain the state of the matter of the contents within. If frozen, the bags shall be placed within "Camp Cooler #1" for the ongoing simultaneous camp cooler experiment.
Compartments one and two shall be reloaded with more quantities of water filled 1 gallon ziplock bags and resealed. The cooler lid shall then be closed and resealed and the insulating wrap shall be reapplied.
Phase 3: Encouragement efforts shall be intensified for this final phase of the experiment. Personal time at the event shall be sacrificed so that at least 15 minutes of every 3 hours of the day can be spent in quiet meditative contemplation of the cooler and it's contents. A mental bond shall be created between the observer and the cooler to amplify the cooling retention capacity of the cooler for a period of 2 days.
At sunrise of the eighth day of the experiment run, compartment three shall be opened. If the observable data indicates success, there shall be much rejoicing and the people shall feast upon the lambs and sloths and carp and anchovies and orangutans and breakfast cereals and fruit bats marinated in fortified fizzy lifting drinks.
If there is failure revealed at phase 3, we probably need a larger block of dry ice for the compartment. Lab monkeys shall be spanked for not suggesting this sooner.
Phase 3A: Compartments one and two shall be opened and their contents checked for state of matter. If frozen, the bags shall again be incorporated into the "camp cooler experiment" cycle. If Phase 3 is a success and there is still dry ice remaining in each individual compartment, the above cycle shall be repeated by placing 1 gallon ziplock bags of water into the compartments. If necessary, researchers shall condense the remaining dry ice into one or two individual compartments.
The compartments shall be resealed. The cooler lid shall then be closed and resealed and the insulating wrap shall be reapplied.
Phase 4: A policy of antagonization shall be employed for this final phase. The cooler shall be taunted that it no longer has the capacity to freeze the contents within thereby establishing a role of reverse psychology that encourages the cooler to prove to us that it can, in fact freeze the contents within.
Cooler contents shall be checked in 2 days. Results of this final phase are not as critical as the previous 3 phases. If success is discovered, the cooler shall be rewarded with praise and adoration. If failure is discovered, the cooler shall be awarded a participation medal for effort in this final phase and receive praise and adoration for the previous three phases.
Experiment shall commence soonish.
Playawaste Raiders cordially invites you to suck it.