Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys...

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Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys...

Postby ChilliPapaSmurf » Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:42 am

I’ve been thinking: with all the walking, dancing, cycling, dust and sweat. How do you pack your googlies?

Boxer shorts or Y-fronts? Speedos, G-strings, stretchy briefs, Spandex?

Ladies, appreciate: there’s some delicate equipment down there. It needs constant care and attention.

I’ve often found when trekking that having the family jewels ensconced in a tight bulge makes for happy striding.

But then again, I usually prefer to give my wedding tackle room to play.

If I’m riding a bike, the meat and potatoes need to be carefully positioned. I’ve crushed one o’ my plums when drunk and cycling, it’s not fun when you climb off.

(Actually once, when riding a scooter with two girls behind me, I managed to perch on the edge and drive the whole precarious journey sitting on my love truncheon. My whole weight on my tonker. My shorts were too tight, never realised. When I got up it was numb. I got pins and needles, like a six-minute orgasm. Fucking excruciating.)

So I was thinking what do you fine veterans recommend for keeping one’s love bandits as comfortable and un-dusty as possible? Logically I’m thinking Lycra running shorts but the threat of nut-crush and funky-crotch discourages…

Big billowing boxer shorts? I’m sure they work great as long as you aren’t planning to dance non-stop and roll about in the dust. Even a banana hammock appeals.

I’m seriously at a loss here…

Chilli Papa
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby AntiM » Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:46 am

MyLarry prefers tie-dyed tighty whities under his kilt, otherwise the canvas chafes the little guy. When wearing loose soft pants or skirts, then nothing. Boxers for around camp wear. I get to wash the twig and berries a lot, so dust is not an issue.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby junglesmacks » Fri Aug 05, 2011 6:59 am

cutest. reply. ever.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Sic Pup » Fri Aug 05, 2011 7:44 am

I think the OP may have swallowed urbandictionary.com

I wear English leather or nothing at all.



...but generally tighty whiteys to keep my knees from chafing
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby ChilliPapaSmurf » Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:29 am

Sic Pup wrote:I think the OP may have swallowed urbandictionary.com


Nope, pulled it all out of my head just then. :D

Still want to know more about everyone's bishop-swaddling. Keep 'em coming.

Er... I'm not really this pervy. Not that much.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby theCryptofishist » Fri Aug 05, 2011 9:43 am

ChilliPapaSmurf wrote:Ladies, appreciate: there’s some delicate equipment down there. It needs constant care and attention.

Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say. Get your hand out of your utilikilt and get to work on that dome!

OOOoogh. Wash those hands first.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Savannah » Fri Aug 05, 2011 9:56 am

theCryptofishist wrote:
ChilliPapaSmurf wrote:Ladies, appreciate: there’s some delicate equipment down there. It needs constant care and attention.

Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say. Get your hand out of your utilikilt and get to work on that dome!

OOOoogh. Wash those hands first.


:lol:

ChilliPapaSmurf, billowy seems popular among the men for a reason.

Btw, bring some Gold Bond or cornstarch baby powder with aloe.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby graidawg » Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:01 am

chilli papa smurf this question has crossed my mind a few times too. As i have yet to acquire a kilt or a dress suitable for full nudity underneath and dont ride bikes im just curious about differnet options (chaffing, dust and general sweatyness being my worries)
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby peachandpapa » Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:37 am

Billowy! I like that...My frank and beans feels refreshed already! ChilliPapaSmurf, let'em dangle so they feel nice and billowy!
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Savannah » Fri Aug 05, 2011 10:41 am

Grai, you have now been warned about powder. If you do not buy a travel size of it when you touch down in the states, I will kick your patootie. :lol:
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby FIGJAM » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:02 am

Gaurd your patootie with your life!!!! :shock:
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Savannah » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:16 am

My boots are slightly pointy.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby graidawg » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:18 am

Hot patootie, bless my soul i really love that rock and roll !

http://youtu.be/a4P_qAMAnKs
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby mazatta » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:35 am

I'm part of the "cannot stand boxers one bit" crowd...it just feels like I have my swim trunks on underneath my pants. Boxer briefs FTW. If dust is an issue, I will just include the boys in my nightly foot washing ritual.

However, I plan to wear nothing at all when in a sarong or similar flowing fabric. I free-balled in a dress at a festival a few years ago and it was heavenly.

Virgin burner here, so take what I say with a fine grain of playa dust. I'd be curious if being cut/uncut makes a difference one way or the other? I'm hoping my parents were preparing me for the desert when they gave the doc the nod when I was born ;)
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby MyDearFriend » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:46 am

Savannah wrote:Grai, you have now been warned about powder. If you do not buy a travel size of it when you touch down in the states, I will kick your patootie. :lol:


Sorry, Savannah, but Grai's personal nurse is advising him otherwise. :shock: I have never been to the playa, so, can't speak specifically to that combination of alkaline dessicants & limited hygiene options, but, my 30 years of professional Funky Junk Care :shock: trying everything on everything has got me solidly convinced that grease always outperforms powder in the groinal regions. I started out as a Powder Person, but, have to believe my own eyes on this one.

Grai, if you bring powder I will use it to rub your back. :lol:

Don't forget sunscreen! Balls burn easily under skirts and thin trousers. Sunscreen with zinc oxide is very similar to baby diaper cream, so, a nice thick coat of that should do to start your day. For touch ups while away from camp, SPF 15 lip balm is a handy friend. 8)

And, ChilliPapa, please, you make my blood run cold with talk of carelessly pinching your scrotum while drunk. :shock: I have watched men die of that. :cry: :cry: :cry:
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Sail Man » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:52 am

AntiM wrote:MyLarry prefers tie-dyed tighty whities under his kilt, otherwise the canvas chafes the little guy. When wearing loose soft pants or skirts, then nothing. Boxers for around camp wear. I get to wash the twig and berries a lot, so dust is not an issue.



:lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby junglesmacks » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:55 am

As with shoes, however you let your junk hang at home you will most likely find acceptable on the playa. It isn't the moon.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby graidawg » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:56 am

MyDearFriend wrote:
Savannah wrote:Grai, you have now been warned about powder. If you do not buy a travel size of it when you touch down in the states, I will kick your patootie. :lol:


Sorry, Savannah, but Grai's personal nurse is advising him otherwise. :shock: I have never been to the playa, so, can't speak specifically to that combination of alkaline dessicants & limited hygiene options, but, my 30 years of professional Funky Junk Care :shock: trying everything on everything has got me solidly convinced that grease always outperforms powder in the groinal regions. I started out as a Powder Person, but, have to believe my own eyes on this one.

Grai, if you bring powder I will use it to rub your back. :lol: what if i bring cream?

Don't forget sunscreen! Balls burn easily under skirts and thin trousers. Sunscreen with zinc oxide is very similar to baby diaper cream, so, a nice thick coat of that should do to start your day. For touch ups while away from camp, SPF 15 lip balm is a handy friend. 8)

And, ChilliPapa, please, you make my blood run cold with talk of carelessly pinching your scrotum while drunk. :shock: I have watched men die of that. :cry: :cry: :cry:


so if i buy powder i get a back rub but no help applying, if i buy cream i get my pattotie prodded with pointy boots? im going with the sunscreen sudafed thank you, savannah, my pattotie is yours for the booting. please be fairly gentle
on the sunscreen front anyone reading this if you see me apply sunscreen, i burn slightly in 20 minutes here in the uk and thats through the pollution in london i imagin i will burn in about -20 seconds in the desert at 4000 feet. my neck especially (more so if i get the haircut)
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby graidawg » Fri Aug 05, 2011 11:58 am

hang on one second........

Grai's personal nurse
:shock: :D :oops: :twisted:

does this mean i can spend the whole week faking oldtimers for more personal care?
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Sail Man » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:00 pm

Maybe this will help solve all of the boy's problems :wink:





thank you thank you thank you for putting youtube back

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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby MyDearFriend » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:03 pm

graidawg wrote:hang on one second........

Grai's personal nurse
:shock: :D :oops: :twisted:

does this mean i can spend the whole week faking oldtimers for more personal care?


Faking will get you a personal reality check. :twisted:
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby graidawg » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:05 pm

MyDearFriend wrote:[

Faking will get you a personal reality check. :twisted:



:oops:
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"Savannah" I like it . . . it makes us sound forward-thinking, and not at all like trailblazing, professional-level procrastinors.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby The Bee » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:06 pm

MyDearFriend wrote:For touch ups while away from camp, SPF 15 lip balm is a handy friend. 8)

Friends who use liberal amounts of lip balm and do the touch ups for you with their lips are friends indeed. :P
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby MyDearFriend » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:07 pm

The Bee wrote:
MyDearFriend wrote:For touch ups while away from camp, SPF 15 lip balm is a handy friend. 8)

Friends who use liberal amounts of lip balm and do the touch ups for you with their lips are friends indeed. :P


What a nice idea! :D
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby graidawg » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:09 pm

MyDearFriend wrote:
The Bee wrote:
MyDearFriend wrote:For touch ups while away from camp, SPF 15 lip balm is a handy friend. 8)

Friends who use liberal amounts of lip balm and do the touch ups for you with their lips are friends indeed. :P


What a nice idea! :D


:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Drizzt321 » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:34 pm

Well, as a virgin burner I'll see if my preferred wear works, but for general wear I use boxer briefs as a good compromise. Going to bring spandex shorts to wear over just in case I feel the need to keep things extra secured. Otherwise, I'll play it by ear! I got myself a couple of fake grass skirts, so we'll see what I feel like wearing with that, and just play it all by ear!
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Postby Roberto Dobbisano » Fri Aug 05, 2011 12:39 pm

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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Savannah » Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:00 pm

MyDearFriend wrote:
Savannah wrote:Grai, you have now been warned about powder. If you do not buy a travel size of it when you touch down in the states, I will kick your patootie. :lol:


Sorry, Savannah, but Grai's personal nurse is advising him otherwise. :shock: I have never been to the playa, so, can't speak specifically to that combination of alkaline dessicants & limited hygiene options, but, my 30 years of professional Funky Junk Care :shock: trying everything on everything has got me solidly convinced that grease always outperforms powder in the groinal regions. I started out as a Powder Person, but, have to believe my own eyes on this one.


I will not denounce the use of grease (I am rather greased up myself out there . . . also? powdered) and I know babies have Desitin and Boudreaux's Butt Paste, etc, on their sad little--subsequently powdered--heinies, so no doubt, Grease is Good. (Quoth Gordon Gecko, I think.)

Simply that when I was entreated for supplies last year by an uncomfortable man, powder was what he dreamed of. I put it in a film canister. It probably looked very suspect. :D
Last edited by Savannah on Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby Dr Helix » Fri Aug 05, 2011 1:02 pm

A quick recap. The words-

Googlies
Delicate Equipment
Family Jewewls
Wedding Tackle
Love Truncheaon
Love Bandits
Meat and Potatoes
Plums
Tonker
Nut Crush
Funky Crotch
Little Guy
Twig and Berries
Bishop's Swaddle
Frank and Beans
Patootie
The Boys
Free Balled
Funky Junk
Scrotum
Balls
Junk

.....were used to describe men's Privates. Ladies, how about you?
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Re: Safely stowed or swinging loose? Question for the boys..

Postby mzfit » Fri Aug 05, 2011 2:58 pm

One thing I have done is go to the local running store and purchase some bodyglide. It's a bit like a stick of deoderant - but goes on a little thicker. Absolutely incredible the difference it made for me while on the playa. Applied generously to the upper inner thighs and bottom of my sac - and I haven't had any chafing issues the last several years. I have been able to comfortably free-ball in any of my skirts or sarongs that I wear throughout the week....YMMV - but it has worked well for me!
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