Invent a Rite of Passage?

Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Lassen Forge » Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:38 pm

Foxfur wrote: (Speaking to group with hand shielding mouth deflecting words sideways)
Does she realize what the fuck she's doing? Speaking like that tickles the wrinkled one. Rad hardened foot thick leaded glass stands no chance against the diamond tipped engorgement that inevitably follows such talk of rank and award. Aw fuck, she knows EXACTLY what's goin down.
Ahem, uh uh uh, arg, patooie! (Hand removed)


Hmmm... I am rather impressed by the sight of your M-72... Guess you could say rather gets me all "heat"ed up... as it inserts into the launch tube... fingers guiding it ever so gently, until the trigger is squeezed, shooting its eventual release to an exstatic and thunderous report... only to begin the sequence again... over and over... until the objective is taken completely...

Foxfur wrote:
Your research is quite thorough. Awards may be hammered into chest with extreme force and be gratefully recieved.
My blood is my honor. Spilling it, no problem. Pain is weakness leaving the body.


Pain is the indicator that you are, indeed, still alive, and should be greeted with anticipation, nay, with RELISH!

Foxfur wrote:
When we were in the field, me and Sergeant Sweetpea shacked up in my weapons truck. Being an armorer allowed me to have the most secure vehicle in the field. Other troops called the transport "The Honeymoon Suite".
When engaged in congress, as hot as she was I found my eyes and mind wandering to the 118 M16A1's (six with totally fuckable 40mm M203 grenade launchers), 12 M60's, 8 M2 .50BMG's, and 10 M1911A1's.
Nothing like completion surrounded by parkerized steel voyeurs. Exhibition before belt fed, crew served, air cooled weapons is liberating.


Wow... It is unusual to find a man this romantic. And the surroundings would only serve to enhance the amorous decorum of said honeymoon suite... the enticing smells of lube, and bore cleaner, and yes, expended propellant and hot, glistening steel... py heart goeth pitter patter. The Sergeant is indeed a VERY lucky woman!!

Foxfur wrote:
Screaming out "7.62x51! 5.56x45! 40mm HEDP!" never bothered her. Even more of a turn on!


As well it should be... a match indeed forged in the fires of heaven, consumated on the barrel lathe of eternity...

Foxfur wrote:
So madly in love that I built up the best goddamned fighting position possible for her. Love allows no less. Duty requires sacrifices gladly made.
Such deeply abiding affection that I issued her half of the smoke grenades and 7 rocket propelled star shells and unlimited sub-caliber reloads for hew LAW.


As well I can imagine! And again, the HEAT rises...

Foxfur wrote:
I wanted to give her everything an armorer could possibly give.
Loving her unconditionally, no matter how filthy the inside of her reciever was or how clogged her BFA was from multiple bursts of passionate amounts of blank rounds.
Massive amounts of ball powder expended from a rigid 1 in 7 heavy barrel.

Her locking lugs surrounded my bolt with hard-chromed rotary engagement preventing extraction until she decided it was time to punch my primer.


And as the sear, so tightly held in place by the merest fraction that it would seem only microns kept the firing pin from triggering it's much anticipated detonation of the charge held within...


Foxfur wrote:
She holds the clacker that blows my heart sending love frag downrange. "Front Towards Lust Object".
Multiple chained units fired simultaneously.
I now stand before you wearing only a pistol belt and a smile.
My magazine pouch throbs.


And bulges, your primary weapon held at rigid and rock-solid attention, waiting for the command to lock, aye, lock and indeed, to load... that said cartridges would be brought into their explosive and, of course, inevitable expenditure of the rounds sent to complete their mission, to home in on the target which awaits, with fear, trepidation, and yet, anticipation...

Foxfur wrote:
Goddamn! See what you've done?
Gun One Shot Out!
Gotta go punch my bore now...
And where the FUCK is my asbestos glove? How the FUCK am I supposed to swap my dull red stellite lined barrel for my spare?


And yet, his spirit remains undaunted... like the expert he is, with the tools and machines and devices at hand, he shakes his head, clears his mind, to undertake the next mission as it avails itself to him... never complaining, never shirking his foresworn duty... he charges ahead, perhaps into the unknown, knowing that, in the end, he will emerge, victorious...

Foxfur wrote:


I think BBS and I are about even now.
If she's not soaking in a tub of Hoppe's then she has assumed room temperature and will be forwarded to a depot level repair facility or simply DRMO'd.
Demil / Dewat possibly indicated.
(Take that, fucker!)


Ahhh, but like the M-249, while those uninitiated in its nuances may decide that it is an unwieldy, unbalanced, and perhaps unforgiving, once handled, and warmed up with the passage of several rounds in succession, she becomes like the princess, the jewel thought unobtainable, allowing the secrets of her sweet spot to the one who would embrace her, not to stifle or choke or constrain her but to allow her to run freely, so that the objective is no longer looked upon as a labor that must be completed and/or dreaded, but an anticipated and joyous mating of that whose nature decrees should be joined as one...

May your day run as swiftly as a bottle of LSA in Iraq, and your passion remain as deep as the crater of an expended Excalibur round...
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ugly Dougly » Tue Jul 12, 2011 5:11 pm

Dang cowboy, how long have you been in the service?
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby yurtgirl » Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:50 pm

[quote="AntiM"][quote="yurtgirl"]I'm turning 50 in August so this years BM is my rite of passage. From what to what, I have no idea. I've been looking forward to this for 2 yrs now. My man and I are driving 5000 miles round trip for this trip and I seriously can't focus on anything else. My slight OCD is turning into full blown OCD. weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!![/quote]

I see a tattoo in your future.[/quote]

okay!!!
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby theCryptofishist » Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:26 pm

yurtgirl wrote:
AntiM wrote:
yurtgirl wrote:I'm turning 50 in August so this years BM is my rite of passage. From what to what, I have no idea. I've been looking forward to this for 2 yrs now. My man and I are driving 5000 miles round trip for this trip and I seriously can't focus on anything else. My slight OCD is turning into full blown OCD. weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!


I see a tattoo in your future.


okay!!!


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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Trishntek » Tue Jul 12, 2011 7:58 pm

yurtgirl wrote:I'm turning 50 in August so this years BM is my rite of passage. From what to what, I have no idea. I've been looking forward to this for 2 yrs now. My man and I are driving 5000 miles round trip for this trip and I seriously can't focus on anything else. My slight OCD is turning into full blown OCD. weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!


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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Foxfur » Tue Jul 12, 2011 8:05 pm

Ugly Dougly wrote:Dang cowboy, how long have you been in the service?

8 glorious years. Hon discharge in 1999.
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ugly Dougly » Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:30 am

Foxfur wrote:
Ugly Dougly wrote:Dang cowboy, how long have you been in the service?

8 glorious years. Hon discharge in 1999.

Do you still bleed olive green? ;)
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby unjonharley » Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:43 am

\\
Saw the title of this thread and UD as the last poster.. At a glance it read (to me) Pervert a Rite of Passage
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ugly Dougly » Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:50 am

unjonharley wrote:\\
Saw the title of this thread and UD as the last poster.. At a glance it read (to me) Pervert a Rite of Passage


It could be. Would you like it to be?

;)

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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby graidawg » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:15 am

Bay Bridge Sue wrote:
Foxfur wrote: (Speaking to group with hand shielding mouth deflecting words sideways)
Does she realize what the fuck she's doing? Speaking like that tickles the wrinkled one. Rad hardened foot thick leaded glass stands no chance against the diamond tipped engorgement that inevitably follows such talk of rank and award. Aw fuck, she knows EXACTLY what's goin down.
Ahem, uh uh uh, arg, patooie! (Hand removed)


Hmmm... I am rather impressed by the sight of your M-72... Guess you could say rather gets me all "heat"ed up... as it inserts into the launch tube... fingers guiding it ever so gently, until the trigger is squeezed, shooting its eventual release to an exstatic and thunderous report... only to begin the sequence again... over and over... until the objective is taken completely...

Foxfur wrote:
Your research is quite thorough. Awards may be hammered into chest with extreme force and be gratefully recieved.
My blood is my honor. Spilling it, no problem. Pain is weakness leaving the body.


Pain is the indicator that you are, indeed, still alive, and should be greeted with anticipation, nay, with RELISH!

Foxfur wrote:
When we were in the field, me and Sergeant Sweetpea shacked up in my weapons truck. Being an armorer allowed me to have the most secure vehicle in the field. Other troops called the transport "The Honeymoon Suite".
When engaged in congress, as hot as she was I found my eyes and mind wandering to the 118 M16A1's (six with totally fuckable 40mm M203 grenade launchers), 12 M60's, 8 M2 .50BMG's, and 10 M1911A1's.
Nothing like completion surrounded by parkerized steel voyeurs. Exhibition before belt fed, crew served, air cooled weapons is liberating.


Wow... It is unusual to find a man this romantic. And the surroundings would only serve to enhance the amorous decorum of said honeymoon suite... the enticing smells of lube, and bore cleaner, and yes, expended propellant and hot, glistening steel... py heart goeth pitter patter. The Sergeant is indeed a VERY lucky woman!!

Foxfur wrote:
Screaming out "7.62x51! 5.56x45! 40mm HEDP!" never bothered her. Even more of a turn on!


As well it should be... a match indeed forged in the fires of heaven, consumated on the barrel lathe of eternity...

Foxfur wrote:
So madly in love that I built up the best goddamned fighting position possible for her. Love allows no less. Duty requires sacrifices gladly made.
Such deeply abiding affection that I issued her half of the smoke grenades and 7 rocket propelled star shells and unlimited sub-caliber reloads for hew LAW.


As well I can imagine! And again, the HEAT rises...

Foxfur wrote:
I wanted to give her everything an armorer could possibly give.
Loving her unconditionally, no matter how filthy the inside of her reciever was or how clogged her BFA was from multiple bursts of passionate amounts of blank rounds.
Massive amounts of ball powder expended from a rigid 1 in 7 heavy barrel.

Her locking lugs surrounded my bolt with hard-chromed rotary engagement preventing extraction until she decided it was time to punch my primer.


And as the sear, so tightly held in place by the merest fraction that it would seem only microns kept the firing pin from triggering it's much anticipated detonation of the charge held within...


Foxfur wrote:
She holds the clacker that blows my heart sending love frag downrange. "Front Towards Lust Object".
Multiple chained units fired simultaneously.
I now stand before you wearing only a pistol belt and a smile.
My magazine pouch throbs.


And bulges, your primary weapon held at rigid and rock-solid attention, waiting for the command to lock, aye, lock and indeed, to load... that said cartridges would be brought into their explosive and, of course, inevitable expenditure of the rounds sent to complete their mission, to home in on the target which awaits, with fear, trepidation, and yet, anticipation...

Foxfur wrote:
Goddamn! See what you've done?
Gun One Shot Out!
Gotta go punch my bore now...
And where the FUCK is my asbestos glove? How the FUCK am I supposed to swap my dull red stellite lined barrel for my spare?


And yet, his spirit remains undaunted... like the expert he is, with the tools and machines and devices at hand, he shakes his head, clears his mind, to undertake the next mission as it avails itself to him... never complaining, never shirking his foresworn duty... he charges ahead, perhaps into the unknown, knowing that, in the end, he will emerge, victorious...

Foxfur wrote:


I think BBS and I are about even now.
If she's not soaking in a tub of Hoppe's then she has assumed room temperature and will be forwarded to a depot level repair facility or simply DRMO'd.
Demil / Dewat possibly indicated.
(Take that, fucker!)


Ahhh, but like the M-249, while those uninitiated in its nuances may decide that it is an unwieldy, unbalanced, and perhaps unforgiving, once handled, and warmed up with the passage of several rounds in succession, she becomes like the princess, the jewel thought unobtainable, allowing the secrets of her sweet spot to the one who would embrace her, not to stifle or choke or constrain her but to allow her to run freely, so that the objective is no longer looked upon as a labor that must be completed and/or dreaded, but an anticipated and joyous mating of that whose nature decrees should be joined as one...

May your day run as swiftly as a bottle of LSA in Iraq, and your passion remain as deep as the crater of an expended Excalibur round...

I am disgusted aroused and amused. also slightly amazed and confused. keep up the good work. also the firearm related porn this could be a whole new website
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Foxfur » Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:16 am

Ugly Dougly wrote:
Foxfur wrote:
Ugly Dougly wrote:Dang cowboy, how long have you been in the service?

8 glorious years. Hon discharge in 1999.

Do you still bleed olive green? ;)

Of course! Some things never change.
However I shit red, white, and blue.
Sometimes I fart Yankee Doodle Dandy. Other times it's a John Phillps Souza march. I like those ones. Always peppy.
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Foxfur » Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:30 am

graidawg wrote:I am disgusted aroused and amused. also slightly amazed and confused. keep up the good work. also the firearm related porn this could be a whole new website

Boy, you'd be surprised at Sweetpea's reaction. She was making suggestions for even filthier quadruple entendre's.
See, see? THAT is why we're such a great fit.
I gave her the key to my heart when I watched her blowing away golf ball sized rocks with my AK-47 (the real one, not the Hello Kitty one).
Though I did tell her that it was under the doormat when I saw that she liked "shit on a shingle" for breakfast on our many dates in the mess hall on post. SOS, for those who've not had the pleasure, is creamed chipped beef on toast, or, the way I make it, browned and seasoned ground sirloin with milk gravy.
Yum, I'm gonna go make some right now!
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Lassen Forge » Fri Jul 15, 2011 9:55 am

SOS - the ultimate playa food... Damn, now you've went and got me hungry!!

And, um, you mean to tell me your HK AK is a Fake??!! :shock: :shock: ... (noting this in quartermaster's journal).

Remember the old saying - An imitation firearm makes an attractive sight picture for your enemy. A dummy weapon is named for those who bear them. And a weapon ill cared for is also known as a club.

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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Foxfur » Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:26 am

Bay Bridge Sue wrote:SOS - the ultimate playa food... Damn, now you've went and got me hungry!!

[color=#BF0000]And, um, you mean to tell me your HK AK is a Fake??!!
:shock: :shock: ... (noting this in quartermaster's journal).

Remember the old saying - An imitation firearm makes an attractive sight picture for your enemy. A dummy weapon is named for those who bear them. And a weapon ill cared for is also known as a club.

(SSgt Jones, 1979) [/color]

It really is.
Someone mentioned that law enforcement has masculinity issues when they are outgunned on the playa.
Something about a direct correlation between penis size and muzzle velocity / FPE...

My skin can easily stop their impotent projectiles. I take a multi-vitamin with boron nitride every morning.
AND, my fur coat is made of kevlar shorn from magical nepalese bighorn yaks.

We do have two AK rifles and a Romanian AK pistol. They are real as hell and can send bad people there too!
Now THAT is a rite of passage.
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Lassen Forge » Fri Jul 15, 2011 10:30 am

Oh how I miss the drive by shooting range...
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ugly Dougly » Fri Jul 15, 2011 11:06 am

anandaconda wrote:Is there a rite of passage that you wish you'd had? A rite of passage that you're planning to create on the playa this year?


So....
Um....
?
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby AntiM » Fri Jul 15, 2011 4:30 pm

New Rite of Passage for our camp this year...finding a playa home because our village was denied placement. This should be interesting.
we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby anandaconda » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:07 am

Wow. I take a little time off of the interwebs for traveling & slogging through a workload to make Atlas shrug, and I come back to a thread of pure magic! Milestone birthdays, new adopted families, arcane military regs, artillery porn, and tattoos . . . remind me to play MadLibs with you guys sometime. I have a serious thing for potatoes (I can get cranky without hash browns for breakfast on the weekends), which makes me wish I was eligible for the Order of Fries Wit'dat.

My camp met a few weeks ago, and I asked them the question about rites of passage. We have two folks turning 50, several virgins who are also making just experiencing Burning Man their rite of passage, several honoring deaths (of parents or miscarriages), one couple planning to retire off the grid who see this as good practice, and I think we're all celebrating our friendships together. Realizing that you can choose friends to form your own family is definitely a rite of passage.

If anything, I think I'm wrestling with the concept of every moment being a rite of passage. I'm such a planner and project manager. So busy with preparations and upcoming milestones that I struggle with relaxing into the flow of life. I don't want to completely shed my planner side (hell, that's how I make my living), but I want to invite more serendipity into each breath. . . . I guess Burning Man's blend of preparation and the impromptu is an excellent place to explore this balance.
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ugly Dougly » Fri Jul 22, 2011 9:42 am

Great playa name, BTW. :)
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby anandaconda » Fri Jul 22, 2011 1:11 pm

Mine? Thanks-- ananda is Sanskrit for "sheer bliss" or something close to that. And snakes are such transformative creatures. Call them good, call them evil-- but they're always changing. I spent a little bit of time working with a shaman in the Amazon jungle the year I turned 30, and there were some snakes involved. Talk about a rite of passage . . .
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby AntiM » Mon Jul 25, 2011 8:34 am

Other rites of passage:

Being the executor for your parents estate

Being pre-deceased by a sibling

And for a certain family member: turning 30.

Having your kid hit a milestone birthday and feeling really, really old

Accepting your wrinkles, or grey hair, or aging joints.

Feeling the mortality this morning. Not a bad thing, just a thing.
we were riding the crest of a high and beautiful wave. . . .
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Sail Man » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:15 am

AntiM wrote:Other rites of passage:

Being the executor for your parents estate

Being pre-deceased by a sibling

And for a certain family member: turning 30.

Having your kid hit a milestone birthday and feeling really, really old

Accepting your wrinkles, or grey hair, or aging joints.

Feeling the mortality this morning. Not a bad thing, just a thing.


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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ugly Dougly » Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:57 am

anandaconda wrote:Mine? Thanks-- ananda is Sanskrit for "sheer bliss" or something close to that. And snakes are such transformative creatures. Call them good, call them evil-- but they're always changing. I spent a little bit of time working with a shaman in the Amazon jungle the year I turned 30, and there were some snakes involved. Talk about a rite of passage . . .


Yeah, I think of the archetypical shamanic descent into the underworld as a classic rite. :)
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby inProgress » Tue Jul 26, 2011 2:01 pm

I'll be performing circumcisions for any and all - just look for the Mohel mitzvah deluxe van! :?

(warning:foreskin recommended prior to procedure)
(warning:I have terrible depth perception)
(warning:I'm not actually jewish, but play one in Crown Heights)
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ear » Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:10 pm

Take a woman you truly love to an isolated spot in the desert. Give her a gun, make sure she knows how to use it safely, and dig yourself a grave. Stand in the grave looking up at her there with the gun in her hand, and tell her that you are willing to be responsible for everything every asshole man she's ever encountered in her life has done wrong to her. Tell her she can shoot you now if she likes, then simply cover you up with dirt and leave, and nobody will ever know. . . but that if she lets you live, she has to forgive everything.

If you're still alive five minutes later, climb up out of there and take her home and fuck her like she's the only woman there is. You're hers.

(NOTE: For gender values of 'woman,' your mileage may vary more than you might imagine. More power to you!)
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Lassen Forge » Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:14 pm

Um... you realize that it's all good, until... you stand next to that hole to climb in. You may not get to enact the rest of your fantasy...

Jus' sayin... :twisted:
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ear » Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:36 pm

Hey, the instructions were "invent a rite of passage," not "invent a rite of passage and then go out and do it, you fool."

I'm not in love with anyone who wouldn't immediately open fire once I made my little speech.
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Lassen Forge » Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:39 pm

Just saying... you may never get to the speech part. 8)
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Ugly Dougly » Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:38 pm

No guts no glory. :)
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Re: Invent a Rite of Passage?

Postby Savannah » Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:44 pm

Maybe she'll just be annoyed and wing you.
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