Well, that reminds me why I dropped out of college -- I flunked math. But I passed physics, so I should have remembered the Midnight Sun.
In reference to the Fluidiousness of Temporal Randomicity as regards the Average Progress of Time experienced by a Herring, it does indeed behoove us to consider the effect of Midnight Sunshine.
To recap, for everyoneâ€™s clarificationing, Midnight Sunshine is the opposite of Midnight Moonshine. In the northern half of Norway, Midnight Moonshine is a coffee beverage locally referred to as Karsk. To mix a good cup of Karsk, place a dime on the bottom of a cup. Add coffee until you can no longer see the dime. Then add Moonshine until you can see the dime again. Partake.
When people, and Herrings, from the southern half of Norway (whence our friends the sub genus Wire Herrings hail) drink Karsk, the result is Aurora Borealis - the Northern Lights.
This ability to induce Sun Flare signals in the optical nerves of a Herring half a mile deep in the aboveforementioned Dark And Stormy Sea, is the foundation for the basic concept of the principle behind the Herring Time Travel Technology (HTTT) methodology system idea phenomenalion... thingie. How a Herring can drink Karsk while under water has not yet been fully explained -- nor has whatever this has to do with Barb Wireâ€™s birthday, considering that Herrings are spawned, not birthed.
However, with the hypothesis of midnight sun affecting Barb Wireâ€™s maturity level thus discombobulated to satisfactory scientific certainty, we can return to the scene of the cold confusion and formulate a new hypothesis for our next experiment. After all, that is how we qualify for our next grant!
In conclusion, we conclude that Herrings who have partooked of a cup of Karsk tend to repeat themselves, and say things twice. This duplicicity and redundanticy taking twice as much time to perform and consuming double the amount of time, we find that Herrings experience time at either half or double the rate of speed as do the fishermen who hunt them. Until Noon that is, when the fishermen celebrate the opposite of Midnight by also partaking of the Northern Coffee Beverage Pertaining To Moonlight mentioned above, and crash the boat on large black rocks in the middle of the ancient Lake Lahontan, and this scientific experiment conclusively proves that Herring Time Travel Technology works.
Thus, Barb Wire remains as he is -- a grown man with the ability of a boy of 12 to play like a child, and it is good.