Bad Advise, Missinformation, Poor Directions

Should this topis have a poll?

Poll ended at Fri Sep 04, 2009 11:05 am

Yes
1
4%
No
5
20%
Only on the weekend
19
76%
 
Total votes : 25

Postby Simon of the Playa » Fri May 29, 2009 11:15 am

as SOON as you arrive in your vehicle at the Gate, EVERYBODY in the vehicle, including the driver should break out the Cold Beers or Cocktails because it's going to be awhile before you actually get to camp, so you should start getting drunk on the way.
breathe deep, the playa is the dust of your ancestors

A gift for the Playa
User avatar
Simon of the Playa
 
Posts: 13869
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Burning Since: 1996
Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins

Postby Simon of the Playa » Fri May 29, 2009 11:18 am

oh yeah, i almost forgot.....speed like hell through Nixon, those signs dont mean shit.
breathe deep, the playa is the dust of your ancestors

A gift for the Playa
User avatar
Simon of the Playa
 
Posts: 13869
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Burning Since: 1996
Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins

Postby Ugly Dougly » Fri May 29, 2009 11:19 am

If you get pulled over give your cop a nice nipple twist. They're hot for that.
Please to visit PAGE TWO.
User avatar
Ugly Dougly
 
Posts: 16335
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 9:31 am
Location: San Jose, CA
Burning Since: 1996

Postby Oldguy » Fri May 29, 2009 12:28 pm

All those steaks and frozen dinners and fresh vegetables you bought in Reno don't need to go in an icebox. You'll only be there a week, right?
Image current moon

"Opportunity is missed by most people
because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."
-Thomas Alva Edison
User avatar
Oldguy
 
Posts: 1330
Joined: Sun May 07, 2006 12:22 am
Location: Sutter Buttes
Burning Since: 2005
Camp Name: Dogpatch

Postby Sail Man » Fri May 29, 2009 4:16 pm

Sunscreen is for pussies

Hover when you use the blue palaces, that way you wont get germs on your pristine butt

Tie a strangers bike to the water trucks as they drive by

Better yet, tie their tent to it :lol:

When their inside

Having sex. They'll get the laugh of their life off of it. Trust me.
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sat May 30, 2009 2:01 pm

Sunscreen is for pussies





it works on penii, too.
breathe deep, the playa is the dust of your ancestors

A gift for the Playa
User avatar
Simon of the Playa
 
Posts: 13869
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Burning Since: 1996
Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins

Postby BAS » Sun May 31, 2009 12:01 pm

Burning Man is a gift economy, so DEMAND your share of all the free stuff! TAKE it if you have to!
"Nothing is withheld from us which we have conceived to do.
Do things that have never been done."
--Russell Kirsch
User avatar
BAS
 
Posts: 4220
Joined: Sun Apr 18, 2004 7:46 pm
Location: Wisconsin
Burning Since: 2006

Postby chiefdanfox » Wed Jun 03, 2009 11:38 am

The BMOrg sells all of the unsold tickets at the gate at a deep discount starting on the Friday evening of the festival. Group discounts are available for added savings.
User avatar
chiefdanfox
 
Posts: 741
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2006 12:14 am
Location: Oakland, CA

Postby Bob » Wed Jun 03, 2009 12:48 pm

Free showers, awesome bath products, foot massages -- just follow this guy.

Image
Amazing desert structures & stuff: http://sites.google.com/site/potatotrap/

"Let us say I suggest you may be human." -- Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
User avatar
Bob
 
Posts: 6762
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:00 am
Location: San Francisco
Burning Since: 1986
Camp Name: Royaneh

Postby pinemom » Thu Jun 04, 2009 8:18 am

Only Eat Candy the whole week. Its your only chance to do so as an adult and get away with not gaining a single ounce!
Names pinemom, but my friends call me "Piney".
User avatar
pinemom
 
Posts: 8246
Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2006 11:36 am
Location: Booby Bar 2007-2011

Postby ygmir » Thu Jun 04, 2009 8:25 am

put your forhead right here, hold the handles, this'll only take a minute.........
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25996
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby Sail Man » Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:48 am

Gift Doobies at Center Camp.

Follow behind the Lamplighters with a can of compressed air and blow out the Lamps.

Dig large holes in the streets. Blame it on Shai Halud.

Why yes you can jack off from atop the Man. Just aim for the hat. Larry's.
Excuse me Ma'am, your going to feel a small prick.
_______________________________________

Algorithms never survive the first thirty seconds of patient contact
User avatar
Sail Man
 
Posts: 4500
Joined: Tue Sep 30, 2008 10:03 am
Location: 20 Minutes into the Future
Burning Since: 2008
Camp Name: Kidsville: Delicious

Postby oneeyeddick » Thu Jun 04, 2009 11:52 am

Be sure to not miss Tuesday's burn....it's almost as good as Saturday's !!!
We have an obligation to make space for everyone, we have no obligation to make that space pleasant.
User avatar
oneeyeddick
 
Posts: 5588
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:08 pm
Location: Probably in your pants
Burning Since: 1996

Postby **burn** » Thu Jun 04, 2009 9:15 pm

Put your trashcan out on the curb of your street;
The dump truck comes by to pick up twice a day.

You can leave your melon rind and orange peel on the ground;
the birds and squirrels will eat them.

Leave your coolers inside your car so the bears stay out of them.
Risky

The Booby Bar in
http://terminalvillage.com
**burn**
 
Posts: 805
Joined: Thu Jun 05, 2008 5:19 pm
Location: carousing in the corner

Postby accordionMan » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:32 pm

Discounted tickets go on sale the Thur before the burn!!!
Just show up at the gate... they are practically giving them away!


If you visit someone's camp site naked, sit anywhere you like. Burners love the earthy smell of the great unwashed.


Being a spectator is important... otherwise who would participants have to show off to?
FREE MONEY to BURN 2013:
http://www.digitalartist.com/art/burningman/money.html
Some accordion at BM: http://current.com/items/89239638/rob_the_accordion_man.htm
User avatar
accordionMan
 
Posts: 175
Joined: Thu Feb 21, 2008 3:32 pm
Location: new york

Postby ygmir » Fri Jun 05, 2009 1:57 pm

if you turn the condom inside out, you can use it again
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25996
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby Simon of the Playa » Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:22 pm

Everything and Everybody are EXACTLY as they appear to be.
breathe deep, the playa is the dust of your ancestors

A gift for the Playa
User avatar
Simon of the Playa
 
Posts: 13869
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Burning Since: 1996
Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins

Postby ygmir » Fri Jun 05, 2009 7:40 pm

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WhcIAtOyIQ[/youtube]
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25996
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby Bob » Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:04 pm

"DPW" stands for "dinky pink weenies".

If you see a parade of monster trucks driven by suburban punks, say it loud and proud.
Amazing desert structures & stuff: http://sites.google.com/site/potatotrap/

"Let us say I suggest you may be human." -- Reverend Mother Gaius Helen Mohiam
User avatar
Bob
 
Posts: 6762
Joined: Wed Sep 03, 2003 10:00 am
Location: San Francisco
Burning Since: 1986
Camp Name: Royaneh

Postby oneeyeddick » Fri Jun 05, 2009 8:22 pm

"DPW" stands for "Department of Penis Whistles", just go to Critical Dicks and get one of your very own to blow.
We have an obligation to make space for everyone, we have no obligation to make that space pleasant.
User avatar
oneeyeddick
 
Posts: 5588
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:08 pm
Location: Probably in your pants
Burning Since: 1996

Postby CapSmashy » Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:13 pm

Thursday afternoon is the virgin meet and greet party at the trash fence. Free beer, bbq and strippers.
Playawaste Raiders cordially invites you to suck it.
User avatar
CapSmashy
 
Posts: 1917
Joined: Thu Sep 28, 2006 12:29 pm
Location: Awesome Camp 2.0
Burning Since: 2007
Camp Name: Terminal City://404 Village Not Found

Postby Finnegan » Fri Jun 05, 2009 9:36 pm

If you run out of drugs, there are always drug 'ombudsmen' waiting to help in their black or green SUVs. They will hook you right up. just tell them you are looking for some "Larry".
"No one is innocent, citizen. We are merely here to determine the level of your guilt."
- Judge Dredd
User avatar
Finnegan
 
Posts: 634
Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:29 pm

Postby theCryptofishist » Fri Jun 05, 2009 10:00 pm

ygmir wrote:if you turn the condom inside out, you can use it again

I actully have a marraige manual from the 40s that teaches you how to wash, roll and re-use rubbers.
So that's why they told me in high school not to. Maybe in another generation or two that will be so long ago that people will not believe it.
Simon's real sig line?

Embrace the Sock

Winners never quilt, quilters never win...
User avatar
theCryptofishist
 
Posts: 37462
Joined: Mon Feb 23, 2004 10:28 am
Location: In Exile
Burning Since: 2017

Postby Simon of the Playa » Sun Jun 07, 2009 3:18 pm

They will hook you right up. just tell them you are looking for some "Larry".



just dont eat the brown "Larry"
breathe deep, the playa is the dust of your ancestors

A gift for the Playa
User avatar
Simon of the Playa
 
Posts: 13869
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 6:25 pm
Location: Rochester, Nevada.
Burning Since: 1996
Camp Name: La Guilde des Hashischins

Postby gyre » Tue Jun 16, 2009 11:30 pm

Rome was built in a day.


Hot water freezes faster than cold water.


Flying is safer than driving.




I was the last welder on the Airbus 330.
Let me build your art car.
User avatar
gyre
 
Posts: 15346
Joined: Sun Aug 07, 2005 6:01 pm
Location: ΦάÏ

Postby stormfeather » Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:24 am

Playa chicken is delicious BBQed.

There are drinking fountains in center camp.

The Mad Max-A-Million red carpet movie premier will be held at 10:00 and Leech. Mel Gibson will be in attendance.

Monday is the New Saturday.

Thursday the state of Nevada has declared it Divorce your Spouse Day.
Friday you can can pick up a new one at Costco Soul Traders and then you can get married again Saturday at the Temple, no blood test required!
Camp Sietch Grabrear & Shai-Hulud MV
6:00 and Fossil 2009
http://sandworm.tikimojo.com

The Spice Must Flow!
User avatar
stormfeather
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 8:10 pm
Location: sTEAp Tea House, Portlandia

Postby Ugly Dougly » Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:24 am

Don't bother bringing any beer, check Paul Addis' camp, he always has plenty of brewskies to give away.

Break beer bottles on the playa, it's fun to watch hippies' feet bleed.
Please to visit PAGE TWO.
User avatar
Ugly Dougly
 
Posts: 16335
Joined: Wed Sep 10, 2003 9:31 am
Location: San Jose, CA
Burning Since: 1996

Postby ygmir » Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:27 am

pour battery acid on the playa, it makes great bubbles............
and, a handy prop if you get invited to act in the "Phantom of the Opera" production..............
YGMIR

Unabashed Nordic
Pagan
User avatar
ygmir
 
Posts: 25996
Joined: Thu Sep 20, 2007 8:36 pm
Location: nevada county
Burning Since: 2017
Camp Name: qqqq

Postby Finnegan » Fri Jun 19, 2009 9:33 am

Bring enough lemon juice to 'neutralize' the dust in your camp. About 15 gallons per person per day.
"No one is innocent, citizen. We are merely here to determine the level of your guilt."
- Judge Dredd
User avatar
Finnegan
 
Posts: 634
Joined: Tue Jul 25, 2006 12:29 pm

Postby stormfeather » Fri Jun 19, 2009 12:14 pm

there is an underground tunnel 'neath the man that leads to Oz.
Camp Sietch Grabrear & Shai-Hulud MV
6:00 and Fossil 2009
http://sandworm.tikimojo.com

The Spice Must Flow!
User avatar
stormfeather
 
Posts: 155
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2007 8:10 pm
Location: sTEAp Tea House, Portlandia

PreviousNext

Return to 2009 Art & Performance

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest