Inconveniance Store. Help Wanted

Inconveniance Store. Help Wanted

Postby willyloafofphora » Sun Jul 06, 2008 12:51 am

Weird kids from San Diego will be providing BRC with a Inconvenience Store and they sure could use your help. Start a fire with two sticks and receive a free pack of cigarettes. Walk a mile for a Camel. Go on a scavenger hunt for a bike. Need a few extra tent stakes solve a puzzle game. Jonesing for coffee and donuts, do 100 jumping jacks. Alcohol, aspirin, tampons, soap, rolling papers, foties of Old E and 2 1/2 gallon water jugs for the terminally retarded. These things and more will be provided for the low low cost of Inconvenience. Volunteer clerk positions available.Most donations happily accepted. Watch us inconvenience people for your shit or inconvenience them yourself we really don't care. Your ideas and feed back are greatly appreciated. The customer is always wrong. Volunteers and donors will receive complimentary convenient playa white russians.First five customers in cornrows and slippers will receive ice cold foties. All others will be inconvenienced. We don't care if we know you.

Serious applicants PM Willyloafofphora.
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Sun Jul 06, 2008 9:15 am

Oh, no, you're not going to make me participate are you?
You have some cheese to go with my whine?
Great idea.
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Postby JezebelinHell » Sun Jul 06, 2008 11:16 am

I was already going to volunteer, and then you throw in free white russians? Where do I sign up?
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Postby Finnegan » Sun Jul 06, 2008 11:19 pm

I'm not even supposed to be there that day!
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Postby willyloafofphora » Mon Jul 07, 2008 8:33 pm

[quote="Finnegan"]I'm not even supposed to [b]be[/b] there that day![/quote]
That makes it nice and Inconvenient then doesn't it.
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Postby pinemom » Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:40 am

I will have to say, that since Dadera's DreamyourTopia...this is the most unique fantastic idea Ive seen appear this yr!

Inconvience market!

Clap~ Clap~ Clap~ Clap~

I'll make sure to come over and offer to wash your windows repeatively or paint the holiday du jour on them, and not take "no thank you" as a response!!!!!!

All the fun things you can do with the American Dream!
Tu' Shae'

hahaaaaa!!!!
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Postby JezebelinHell » Tue Jul 08, 2008 8:49 am

Can we make the token 'I assure you we're open' sign out of shoe polish?

And do we get to wear horrible vests with crappy name tags? That's the best part about an (in)convenience store job. Also, will someone be robbing me? Because otherwise the experience will feel incomplete.
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:23 am

Do the white Russians speak English and are they single?
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Postby MozyBonz » Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:41 am

You need an automatic bell ding at the door so everyone turns and looks at you as you walk in.
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Postby Finnegan » Tue Jul 08, 2008 11:23 am

Yes, and a "The perp was this tall" measuring stick and video camera.
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Postby Teo del Fuego » Tue Jul 08, 2008 2:28 pm

wow, awesome idea, great sense of humor

hope you can see it to fruition

What if sopmeone needed a condom, what inconvenience would that entail?
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Postby ibdave » Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:15 pm

Teo del Fuego wrote:What if sopmeone needed a condom, what inconvenience would that entail?



For inconvenience it would have to have a HOLE in the tip... 8) 8) 8)
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Postby oneeyeddick » Tue Jul 08, 2008 3:35 pm

Teo del Fuego wrote:
What if sopmeone needed a condom, what inconvenience would that entail?


Putting a hole in the tip is too brutal.
That would lead to children.
Yuck !!!

Just make them wash out a used one, that should suffice.
We have an obligation to make space for everyone, we have no obligation to make that space pleasant.
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:40 am

oneeyeddick wrote:
Teo del Fuego wrote:That would lead to children.
Yuck !!!


Yuck? You've never had Kentucky Fried Children. Finger-lickin' good!
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Postby chiefdanfox » Wed Jul 09, 2008 10:45 am

Creepy.
Image
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just ignorant fornicators!!!

Postby BUDDAHKON » Wed Jul 09, 2008 6:56 pm

can I cum bye and help with the discourse..I am soooo tired of the customer being right. kick them in the ass with the left...
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Postby AntiM » Wed Jul 09, 2008 7:06 pm

I could sit around reading porn and chewing gum and flip the customers off if they wanted anything. "We're all out. The stock guy will be in tomorrow."
These are not my fuckos.
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Postby parracky parrot » Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:21 pm

What if the customer brings in a dead parrot?
:?
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Brilliant

Postby veleda » Thu Jul 10, 2008 2:10 pm

I might give a shift..

where did you ask to be placed?
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Postby willyloafofphora » Fri Jul 11, 2008 4:57 am

I knew the good ideas would just start flowing like shitty beer at a frat party.

'I assure you we're open' sign out of shoe polish.
yes.

Horrible vests with crappy name tags.
Hell yes.

Automatic bell ding at the door so everyone turns and looks at you as you walk in.
Yes. Were the hell do you get one. Does anyone know a liquor store that might let me borrow one for the week.

"The perp was this tall" measuring stick and video camera.
Yes. Also horrible florescent lighting and dead eyed anorexic bitches staring at you from gossip mags.

Condoms.
Definitely. Right now the management is considering having people make out with a life size George W replica but we're still open to suggestions.

Holes in condoms.
No. Over population is one of the most serious challenges that humanity is currently facing. Don't reproduce.

I think most Russians speak at least some English however I am not in the position to comment on their marital status.

Also we have settled on a location. The Inconvenience Store will be right around 3:00 and the outer ring for maximum inconvenience.
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Postby Dusza Beben » Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:13 am

A broken slurpee machine would add wonderfull ambiance!

And don't forget the muzak!

Might be a bit much but a bulletproof window (or appearance of one)
for the clerk with a crappy little speaker that makes answers to customer
inquiries all but unintelligible would be a splendid touch!

DB
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Postby JezebelinHell » Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:18 am

Are there going to be "prices" on things, or do we just make them up as we go along. I'm a little torn between how much fun it would be to make price tags that say things like, "50 push-ups" or "Find a stranger to trade clothes with you" and the general overall inconvenience of stores that don't have prices on anything.

Oh yeah, and should we bring supplies for our shifts? I'm making plenty of fun gifts and stuff this year and there's no reason why I can't force people to inconvenience themselves to get it. Oh, and we definitely need some cheap glowey stuff for the darktards.
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Postby magicmarty » Fri Jul 11, 2008 6:41 am

An inconvenience store! Great idea. I'll have to stop by to not buy something! What a hoot
"Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties" - Erich Fromm

Stay firm but loose!

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Postby Intubater69 » Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:15 am

make sure the clerks don't speak english either :lol:
I get to drive the ambulance how fast?!!

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Postby Ugly Dougly » Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:28 am

Maybe a fasting menu?
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Postby Finnegan » Sat Jul 12, 2008 8:10 pm

2700 kinds of cheese we are out of this week.

Oh! The cat's got it!
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Postby Timezone LaFontaine » Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:19 am

Maybe bags of potato chips could actually contain seeds and instructions on growing, harvesting and cooking.
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Postby SecretOperativeBear » Sun Jul 13, 2008 8:23 am

I would love to do a shift at the Inconveniance store.
Fucking with people and blowing their minds is what I like to do for fun..... =)

I'll stop by and submit an application.
I never graduated high school and I won't be able to pass a drug screening.


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sign me up

Postby djsalty » Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:39 pm

for a shift please. to do so, you will need to call me at a number that can only be found by researching the ongoing demise of the north america. on the 17th page of search results you will find my number embedded. cut and paste the number into Second Life where you will be redirected to a.....................................
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Postby willyloafofphora » Mon Jul 14, 2008 6:58 pm

No high school degree no problem. The less brain washing you've received the better. Shit you just might be upper management material. As for the drug test we were thinking of getting some of those home testing kits and only hiring people who test positive.
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