That's a good read. It was interesting to read your perspective, which is much different than mine or what I'd even expect.
As my brother and I agreed last year, although most people come to Burning Man to feel good, I come to Burning Man to feel bad. It stirs things up in me, it frightens me, it confuses me
It's not just you. It confuses most of us and frightens most of us a bit. It makes us all feel bad, which contrasts the good things. We pass by nice green lawns every day and could care less, but when we're hot and dusty out on the playa and see one! OMG it's the best thing ever, and it really is. We enjoy the cool shade, we want to walk barefoot in it and lay on it and talk with our friends. These are things we could do every day but we appreciate them that much more when we have this harsh environment that reminds us what we're missing. A lot of things we see every day but become extraordinary out there. The funny thing is that since you've realized that you seek the "bad" don't you enjoy it that much more?
And if you didn't know, we all love you already. We don't care if you want to sit quiet in the corner, or run around like crazy, we'll still love you, regardless of where you're at in your life. Some of us just show it in different ways.