Don't Post the Critical Tits Route This Year!

Postby Dork » Tue Jan 02, 2007 5:08 pm

Let's be realistic. You're not going to hide a mile long line of bikes. Most of the spectators probably didn't even put any thought into watching the ride anyway - they either wandered around and found it, or they just happened to be in the area and wandered in to take a closer look. I suspect many riders don't realize how truly huge it is and how long it takes to pass by.

Every other big thing at BM invites crowds. Big fire? Crowd. Big sound system? Crowd. Big art? Crowd. Fire dancers? Crowd. We spend all week looking for cool stuff to go watch or participate in. But... this one thing, one of the biggest things to happen all week, guys can't participate and are not supposed to watch. There's not even agreement about that point - some riders like to be seen, some don't mind, some don't mind as long as you don't look creepy, some don't mind if you cheer or give them something they want, some just don't want their picture taken, etc.
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Postby mdmf007 » Tue Jan 02, 2007 5:22 pm

why publish the route at all? Up until this thread I thought it was a spontaneous route anyways.

Havent adult women been dealing with assholes most of their lives? I am not defending gawkers here, but arent the ladies that are naked in a parade, in costume whatever asking to be looked at?

Now I know theres being looked at and being gawked at. Big difference in the two. My suggestion is to gawk back and ridicule the gawker. Stop your bike and scream at them. With 5000 of your sisters behind you to back you up and 99.99% of the men in attendence to back you up, you will have no problem in making a pervert think twice.

But then again what do i know.

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Postby Teo del Fuego » Tue Jan 02, 2007 6:09 pm

cancel the damn ride already....3,ooo women shed their tops, start whooping, and go on a mass bike ride and then bitch about lookie-loos, gawkers (or whatever). If this ride has the effect of making possession of a camera while male a crime worthy of branding men as potental creeps or pervs, then just cancel the damn ride. Yeah, I know there's a difference between being a spectator and leering in a disgusting manner but you have to agree its a very subjective call. Plus, there's not supposed to be any spectators at Burning Man. Why not do as the Romans and embrace the enemy...make ribald and exaggerated over-the-top acts of lewd leering and gawking the male participation in the event. Maybe have a chase group of paparazzi men with big ass fake cameras and cheesy moustaches. Afraid to have your photo taken? Then don't do the freakin ride or wear a damn shirt, but enough already!
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Postby janicels » Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:16 pm

ok now it is my turn to say something
i love to do ct i look around all morn to find a artist to paint my chest like a white canvis. that is what it is about to see all the pretty cavises on the playa and how we change the way are boobes are seen. and at my age if a man wants to cheer me and my boobs on i say whoooo
whooo we are camping with greeters....it will be great
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Postby diane o'thirst » Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:35 pm

MoisturePup wrote:
Here are some ideas:

-Don't publish the route.
-Publish a fake route.
-Don't publish the departure date/time in the who/what/where/when. Instead rely on word of mouth among women, make business cards with the date/time to distribute to women.


Word. I didn't say "End Critical Tits!" or "Don't show off!," I said, "Don't post the route and let the spectators work for their fix." (Though it's somewhat interesting to check the replies here and see who's read through and who's just making assumptions)

Incidentally, I met with my camp director a couple days ago. I expressed my concerns about CT to him and he thought that keeping the route a secret...or bamboozling the crowd by cutting off and heading elsewhere...would be a good idea.

MoisturePup, I like the business card idea.
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Postby SED » Tue Jan 02, 2007 7:43 pm

For my own part, it doesn't matter a whit where the route is supposed to go. I'll be at the Bobby Bar and CT will be headed our way.
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Postby peep » Mon Jan 15, 2007 1:57 pm

I can't believe this still takes place. Not the lookie-loos, but I mean, Critical Tits! I haven't been to the burn since 03 (or was it, 04?) and that is the -first- thing I would have thought be banned by the populace. Next to those f--king annoying f--king (so annoying it required 2 Fs) gasoline scooter things.

Mmm, playa!
ARGH, GAS SMELL IN MY COLD INSTANT COFFEE!
Mmm, boobies...
ARGH, MASSES OF BOOBIES WHINING ABOUT PEOPLE LOOKING AT THEM.

I think if every woman who were offended took the time out of her day to beat up a man who leered at her, she'd feel a lot better and less men would be inclined to leer. But no. Instead ya'll complain about it like guys are going to stop leering cause you opened your mouth. You could stand three feet from a yahoo's face and scream at the top of your lungs. He will be staring at your bodacious ta-tas the entire time.

This is coming from a woman who is topless from the second she gets on that dusty playa, until way after she has recieved free dermabrasions for such acts.

EDIT: I don't mean to be such a jerk-ess. But I went to the burn twice, and both times heard more complaints then happiness about the CT-ride. I just can't justify setting myself up for that much wah in one setting. I hope lots of people still get a kick out of it, i mean, they must, it's still existing.
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Postby MikeVDS » Mon Jan 15, 2007 2:24 pm

If people whine that much you think it should be canceled, maybe you should make new friends out there. I guess I try to avoid whining, assholes and drama first and foremost.

I get annoyed with the gasoline powered scooter things too. It's nothing against the scooters it the assholes who like to rev them real loud and kick up dust storms. Do what ever the fuck you want but respect other people at the same time.
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Postby peep » Mon Jan 15, 2007 7:21 pm

All the whining I encountered was from here on the board, or on the playa itself from ladies coming from it... None of me or mine went... It wasn't even thought about really.. Hmm. Guess I'm just not the type all around. But it wasn't really that I thought it should be cancled. More like, I was suprised it wasn't dropped.

And yeah. I don't mind scooters out on the open playa where they can be put to artistic use and practical for people who actually need help getting around.. Obviously tho. I do mind'em when its able folk just bein' crass in a bad way on the back roads.
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Postby Nickel » Fri Jan 19, 2007 2:12 pm

wow. Just wow.
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Postby angelgabe » Tue Jan 23, 2007 1:47 am

The parade has always had an element of chaos.It definatly means many things to many people.One year I video-taped it. It was mainly for my mother,who loved watching it.What really ruins it are noobs,yelling show us your tits.

The after-party,however,seemed to be evolving in a very positive way(until last year,which was very random).As much as the exclusivness was annoying to some,the organized nature of it made it completely different that the parade itself.I managed service stations for 2 years,and I can say all of the managers were very centered on providing services to the ladies,and this transfered to the people we managed.

I know alot of people are offended by the sort of thing,but it sure seemed positive when I had hundreds of women in line for TAROT READINGS!Yeh,thats right.Tarot.There was massage.There were bars.There were all kinds of things.But when push came to shove,after finding some inspiration from the parade,women wanted some spiritual healing.Whoda guessed?
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Bring a huge fricking water gun, spray the hosers.

Postby skateboardkid » Wed Jan 24, 2007 12:50 pm

Or better yet get a fire truck to drive along with critical titis spraying cameras and spectators equally, no liability for wet cameras right, read the back of your ticket, and if some dumb ape freaks out about his camera, tha would be great, kinda like instant karma for his perving.
just my 2 cents, I ma guy, I enjoy painting my GF or playay freinds before hand, who wouldnt, but the cameras have got to go, and water will do it.
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Postby DJ Dominus » Wed Jan 24, 2007 10:57 pm

Bad PR is still good PR. Best not have started a thread at all. +1 for checking out whatever it is the hell you are talking about.

In so far as the apes, you're slandering what gave rise to your lineage so many years past. Yah, I get the attempted elitist modern cerebral angle your throwin, but I'm not buyin it. We all are a product of sex. There's nothing wrong with exposure, unless of course you are in the puritanical US of A.

My feelings are of sound psychology. The more exposure, the more desensitization, and the more normalized our society becomes with regards to nudity. Gawkers and lookers are a natural progression. Do not impede their progress lest you imped everyone's.
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Postby diane o'thirst » Thu Jan 25, 2007 12:01 am

DJ Dominus wrote:huffety-puff


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Postby BAS » Thu Jan 25, 2007 9:21 am

But will Angelina Jolie be in Critical Tits?!?

:lol:


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Postby Teo del Fuego » Thu Jan 25, 2007 4:39 pm

Ms. Jolie will definitely be participating in CT. Afterall, her press agent has been flooding the e-playa with her topless photos.

The thing about CT that ticks me off is this: I've seen naked breasts. At Burning Man, I see them all the time. They just dont fascinate me, particularly not by the time CT rolls around. But, God Forbid, if I happen to have a camera on my person and want to capture the spectacle of such a fun an unusual event, then I run the risk of being branded a pervert or looky-loo. Screw that. Being male in possession of a camera shouldn't be a crime. Most women get it, but there is a very vocal minority who want to turn it into an elitist event. Dont want someone looking at your boobies? Its more appropriate for you to cover your holy boobs than try to cover everyone's camera lense.

So, back to the original post. Do CT on a circuit out by the trash fence.
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Postby Tiahaar » Thu Jan 25, 2007 11:17 pm

I say lets grow the World Naked Bike Ride and make it HUGE on the playa this year, make it THE bikeride to participate in. Spread the energy of CT to all sexes. And you think bare boobies are scary...

Oh yeah and I also say BE Green, Save a scooter, Ride a Bike!

or is that save a horse ride a cowboy heheh :mrgreen:
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My two cents on CT

Postby Scubapro » Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:06 am

My wife was going to ride in CT but decided the "girls" would get too sunburned. My motivation to be present at CT would be to cheer the ladies on. I feel it is more of a statement of freedom from our oppressive society and it sure must feel good to be able to shed that yoke. I haven't yet attended this event since I'm not sure if my presence would be welcome and decided to let this be just for the ladies. If my wife decides to slather on some sunblock and take the ride, I'll be there for her.

I know CT for some ladies is a big step. I think we males ought be a bit more considerate of their feelings and support them. Yes, the human body is a beautiful thing to see and appreciate. But not all of the ladies would appreciate you standing there with your tongue hanging out (although there are some who would.) Just be cool with the whole thing and let them have their fun. There are plenty of other opportunities later to let the tongue wag if the situation allows. Just don't ruin CT for them.
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Postby flightless » Fri Jan 26, 2007 9:16 am

[quote="peep"]This is coming from a woman who is topless from the second she gets on that dusty playa, until way after she has recieved free dermabrasions for such acts.[/quote]

'007 will be my first year on the playa, and I thought CT sounded like fun but what do you mean, "free dermabrasion"? (Are my "girls" in physical danger and not just from sunburn?)

Hmm, maybe I'll just glam-up some sports bras ... I'm still allowed in the parade that way, I hope?
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Postby Interested bystander » Sat Jan 27, 2007 12:35 pm

Teo del Fuego wrote:If this ride has the effect of making possession of a camera while male a crime worthy of branding men as potental creeps or pervs, then just cancel the damn ride.


I guess while I'm here I might as well put in my two-cents worth. I quoted the above section because I've come ot feel this way also. I've enjoyed attending CT in the past, cheering on the riders, and yes, taking a few pics for our BM memory albums. However the last two or three years my wife and I have scheduled our Camp Arctica shifts specifically during CT. Why? Because of all the abuse we took from confrontational women and rangers simply because we were watching and taking a few pics and in one case blocking a ranger's view. We weren't in anybody's way but you would have thought we were serial killers and rapists by the reaction of some really nasty people.

I think CT is a fun event for participants and viewers but some people, usually vocal, nasty people, think it should be a recreation of Lady Godiva's ride, the women can take their clothes off and ride but don't dare look or you're some kinda damn prevert (sic). I would like to attend again some day but from the sound of things it looks like you'll find us slinging ice at that time for the foreseeable future.
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Postby diane o'thirst » Sun Jan 28, 2007 3:01 am

Actually as I remember it, the Godiva ride was supposed to be viewed by the entire city. But, on order from her husband the Lord Mayor of the city, they were supposed to appreciate her body from the respectful/"This is God's work" angle. Not entirely out of line with the Tantric philosophy of Divinity inherent in everyone. It kind of annoys/disturbs me that the Mediaeval regard for the human body was actually healthier than the 21st century's is...
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Postby Rat Bastard » Fri Feb 02, 2007 9:49 pm

As far as the original thought in this thread... Why not annouce the route when everyone meets at the start? Make a big sign with the route so as tits follow the tits infront of them (I guess they always point that way) they pass the big sign and have some clue of where they're going. Or just bitch about it some more and maybe something magical will happen. (I'm being sarcastic here, don't club me to death)

Personally I feel a hole in my spirit from 2006 because I missed critical tits. Even after all the joking with friends (male and female) about doing "critical dicks" I flaked and forgot all about it. The reason I missed it is I lost all sense of time and schedule and just did whatever came next. Well, not really. The real reason I missed it was because I did what came next! I was helping my good friend BBQ his wife on a human sized spit. This was somewhere inbetween 3:00/Esplanade and the CT after party. I remember looking over at the CT crowd about 300 yards away and asked my friend if he knew what was going on over there. When I found out it was the after party I went "Shit, I missed it." I wasn't about to go over there for fear of being one of "those guys". It was also time for me to turn the BBQ spit that my friends wife was mounted on so we didn't burn her.

It was nice to see all the smiling faces and paintjobs riding past us near the end of the CT party. With that much happiness I can't fathom any reason under the sun to put an end to Critical Tits. Does anyone here remeber seeing us?
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Postby RINGMASTER » Mon Feb 26, 2007 3:23 pm

combine the critical tits and critical dicks parades..

if you're concerned that so many of the onlookers are hetero males drooling over their cameras, give them something else to fill the frame with.

i guarantee it will weed some of them out.

i was at the parade last year, there were a lot of riders- ride in a wider swath and open up the congestion. sure i enjoy the beauty of a woman, but i was tired of the traffic jams myself and just wanted to move past the parade to artwork. a wider ride means a shorter overall parade. it seemed to go on forever last year.
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Postby gaminwench » Tue Feb 27, 2007 11:45 am

don't post the route...and give the support guys - the husbands, partners, paint artists, etc. signs to carry that say *something* like...Don't be an asshole, support your favorite breasts without being a Yahoo! (I'm sure someone can say that better)...Gives the Real Men something useful and 'supportive' to do, while educating the clueless jerks at the same time...
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Postby AntiM » Tue Feb 27, 2007 1:14 pm

My Goddess Rides here, be respectful!
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Postby Ugly Dougly » Tue Feb 27, 2007 2:10 pm

flightless wrote:
peep wrote:This is coming from a woman who is topless from the second she gets on that dusty playa, until way after she has recieved free dermabrasions for such acts.


'007 will be my first year on the playa, and I thought CT sounded like fun but what do you mean, "free dermabrasion"? (Are my "girls" in physical danger and not just from sunburn?)

Hmm, maybe I'll just glam-up some sports bras ... I'm still allowed in the parade that way, I hope?


When the wind picks up, the dust and sand that it throws about can be unkind to *gulp* soft, delicate skin...

Good question, is CT limited to those who have bare breasts???
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Postby RINGMASTER » Tue Feb 27, 2007 7:46 pm

[quote="Ugly Dougly"]Good question, is CT limited to those who have bare breasts???[/quote]

no, there are those who don't bare em and still ride. but their numbers are very small
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Postby Teo del Fuego » Wed Feb 28, 2007 10:29 am

RINGMASTER wrote:no, there are those who don't bare em and still ride. but their numbers are very small


numbers like 33B?
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Postby flightless » Wed Feb 28, 2007 11:19 am

ha - if my numbers were smaller I'd be MORE likely to go without support!
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Postby K-mom » Fri Mar 09, 2007 3:34 am

'combine the critical tits and critical dicks parades..'


hot damn now thats an original idea!
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