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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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 Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 9:05 am Post subject: Take It To Zsu Zsu |
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Got a drama queen? Tell them to take it to Zsu Zsu! Here the French crybaby bitch answers all...
Burning Man is over, Zsu Zsu, how's it going?
"I sit here in my stupid pink caravan zat HE thought was zo wonderful. I put my pretty head out to spit at everyone and zey are gone. I don't care. I shall eat my poodle and ZEN zey will see what idiots zey are. I am utterly alone, as it should be. Would you like to hear my new poem? Shut up and listen...
Stupid poem
Why do I bother?
Do you like it? I don't care. Fuck off.
I am running out of chocolate fingers in ze desert. Zey claim zey will come back for me with a two inch ball hitch or some pig dog mechanic talk. Yes, perhaps next year to find my beautiful corpse snearing at zem. Zen zey will know what zey have done to poor Zsu Zsu!
Fuck you.
You love me,
-Zsu Zsu."
_________________
Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm
Last edited by Mister Jellyfish Mister on Wed Sep 05, 2007 9:17 am; edited 5 times in total. (23 percent) |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:10 am Post subject: Zsu Zsu's Ass |
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"Would you like to have a conversation about my ass? It is perfect in every way. Crawl up it now and smell my perfume, ztupid heeppie. Perhaps it will allow me to tolerate you and your tedious art. I would shit upon a lace handkerchief and "gift" you, but you are not worthy of Zsu Zsu's affections.
Fuck you.
You love me.
-Zsu Zsu"
_________________
Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm
Last edited by Mister Jellyfish Mister on Thu Sep 06, 2007 10:18 am; edited 3 times in total. (53 percent) |
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Z Spy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 26
Location: Deep Playa
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| Posted: Sat Sep 08, 2007 1:11 pm Post subject: Zsu Zsu is....... |
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| Zsu Zsu you seem so "le sensa" but how can that be, are you "Super Duper"? |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 10:31 am Post subject: My Ferret "Filth" |
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Ztupeed fucking computer! No matter, Zsu Zsu sent you a dead link to antagonize you.
Would you like to meet my little pet? He lives here with me in my pink trailer piece of shit. He is a ferret. His name is Filth. He nibbles at my perfectly pointed nose. Perhaps I will cook him and serve to you heepies. You like him, Oui?
Fuck you.
You love me.
-Zsu Zsu
_________________
Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm |
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Z Spy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 26
Location: Deep Playa
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 3:00 pm Post subject: Zsu Zsu is "le couenne", Zsu Zsu is "le couen |
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| I was wondering how long is was going to take you to figure out your computer error .... a ha, your not the know-it-all after all (hmmmm) ..... as I've been zspying, I know others are interested in our mindless chit-chat but are not joining us, have you scared them off you "affreux catin"? I'm surprised at the ferret, I thought you would indeed have a "French Pussy" named "Fout Fout" since as Splat stated, we heard 574 times :D |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 4:28 pm Post subject: |
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Yes, Zsu Zsu is a jealous lover-- the kind who does not love... or does she?
I suppose we should let our friends here know that Zsu Zsu is an art installation for Burning Man 2008. I'm still fleshing out details. The ferret was my daughter's idea. I like it better than a poodle and it sounds great in a French accent. We will need an actress to do the voice overs. Any leads?
_________________
Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm |
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theCryptofishist
Joined: 23 Feb 2004
Posts: 17198
Location: Small Magellenic Cloud
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| Posted: Mon Sep 10, 2007 6:26 pm Post subject: |
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I believe Robbidobbs does voice overs.
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Catch and release thrift store books.
Oops! I squid it again!!
Watch this space. |
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Bambi of Finland
Joined: 18 Sep 2003
Posts: 1168
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| Posted: Tue Sep 11, 2007 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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I think we have all figured out the truth about you and honestly its okay with us. I just have two questions. How long was your transition? and Who supplies your Hormones?
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Lost in the Forest |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:35 am Post subject: |
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"Ah, you norsks like to put poor Zsu Zsu in a box-- but I am already trapped in a gilded cage of boredom! Let me put my pretty foot out under ze door for you. Give me a pedicure while I think of new insults for you. Never mind. Listen to my poem:
ZTUPID HEEPIE
YOUR HANDS ARE TOO DIRTY
TO GIVE ME PEDICURE
Fuck you.
You love me.
-Zsu Zsu."
_________________
Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm
Last edited by Mister Jellyfish Mister on Wed Sep 12, 2007 7:36 am; edited 2 times in total. (17 percent) |
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Bambi of Finland
Joined: 18 Sep 2003
Posts: 1168
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| Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 10:16 am Post subject: |
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The Janis Ian Song "At 17" Seems to filter thru my head when I read your words. What were you like at 17? Seems like yesterday,right? Though it must be an eternity.
Love Bambi
PS I am not a Heepie.
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Lost in the Forest |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 7:23 am Post subject: |
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In a wistful dream sequence, Zsu Zsu recounts her life in Paris at age 17:
It was springtime, and all of the flowers were in bloom, I was skipping down the Reu des la Clair, and catching the morning dew in my pretty fingers. It glistened in the morning sun and reminded me to hasten my pace so I would be at hospital the moment they opened their doors.
My lover had given me a very large gift the night before, and I knew that only a medical professional would be qualified to remove the fresh baguette from my ass.
Ah, my precious memories of Paris.
Fuck you.
You love me,
-Zsu Zsu.
_________________
Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm |
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EB
Joined: 14 Jul 2004
Posts: 475
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| Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:27 am Post subject: |
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Zsu Zsu,
Help! Someone keeps leaving the camp cooler unlatched! These ice runs are killing me!
(Signed)
Warmed Over
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Irony. You're soaking in it. |
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AntiM
Joined: 24 Mar 2004
Posts: 8996
Location: Biggety-diggety O-Town, UT
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| Posted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 9:44 am Post subject: |
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I must be geezering, I can't read the pale violet on khaki. Alas, my lost youth. No baguettes, however. Not even a stick of butter.
Paris? Frigid bitch of a city in the winter. I thawed my feet in the bidet and had to learn how to ask for feminine needs in French. Ah, to become a woman in the piercing frozen grasp of December. We abandoned the icy avenues for Nice, where I drank my first champagne at my 14th birthday banquet. Seven courses!
Paris can kiss my ass, except for the museums.
_________________
Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects. |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 7:54 am Post subject: Zsu Zsu's Ice Run |
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Zsu Zsu my love, it is your turn to make the camp ice run.
"Fuck you. I would rather die in your ztupeed desert"
Please come out Zsu Zsu! It's Burning Man! You are missing it all!
"Ze only thing I am missing is ice, and my tank of French air is getting low. Bring them both, then leave me alone."
But Zsu Zsu...
"Nobody understands how hard this is. Can't you see I am in distress? Make sure ze ice is also from France."
_________________
Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm
Last edited by Mister Jellyfish Mister on Sat Sep 15, 2007 8:47 am; edited 1 time in total. (13 percent) |
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Bambi of Finland
Joined: 18 Sep 2003
Posts: 1168
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| Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 10:51 am Post subject: |
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I think there is no denying you must have a flawless sense of fashion awareness. What would you like to see me wear when caught in a compromising position during the height of a dust storm whilst seeking a lower companion in BRC? ( I know you know what I mean.)
Bambi
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Lost in the Forest |
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Sensei
Joined: 20 Mar 2004
Posts: 2940
Location: Seattle
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| Posted: Sat Sep 15, 2007 11:54 am Post subject: |
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| Bambi of Finland wrote: | I think there is no denying you must have a flawless sense of fashion awareness. What would you like to see me wear when caught in a compromising position during the height of a dust storm whilst seeking a lower companion in BRC? ( I know you know what I mean.)
Bambi |
Um, howzabout those chaps? Oh, that's right, you gave them to Blueniteowl, didn't you? I'm still not over that. You're lucky she looks so freakin' hot in them or I'd give you such a hit on the head.
Oh, and start posting on 3playa, Mr. Bambi-of-Finland. You've got more friends over there than you know... |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 7:09 am Post subject: |
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"I may want to become a lesbian. Is it too much work and bother? Will they bring equipment and batteries? And then there is the tedious up and down and the 'oui oui oui!'. It's all so tiresome, you know? Of course you don't. Nobody understands poor Zsu Zsu.
My pretty lips are pouting yet I allow nobody to see within the confines of this uncomfortable heart-shaped caravan that HE insisted on building for me. Stupid man."
_________________
Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm |
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unjonharley
Joined: 09 Sep 2003
Posts: 4582
Location: Salem Or.
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| Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 9:01 am Post subject: |
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| did'nt i see you working the 3:00 street? or was the killbuck in drag again? |
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Z Spy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 26
Location: Deep Playa
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| Posted: Sun Sep 16, 2007 7:08 pm Post subject: DANS FRANCAIS |
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To the French Foriegn Legion I go Monsieur JellyPechez. Do the French serve .......... "Tang" ? 
Z Spy
Submission Control Specialist |
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Major Mallet
Joined: 10 Sep 2006
Posts: 61
Location: Siwa Oasis
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:32 am Post subject: |
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Jelly - How about this treatment for the Zsu Zsu project: we encourage folks having drama problems to go to her trailer near the trash fence (because her camp mates threw her out of the city). There could be a panel of red buttons with typical causes of drama (romantic problems, someone stole something, someone burned something that did not belong to them, playing loud music, etc). The people having the drama would choose a button and the preprogrammed Zsu Zsu would start.
So, let's say they choose the "Romantic Troubles" button. Zsu Zsu's voice would instruct them to go near her window. Mechanical fingers would open up her blinds just enough to let the visitors see a glimpse of Zsu Zsu. Zsu Zsu would then disappear again and instruct the people to briefly describe the drama into a microphone located beneath her window (of course, we will instruct people not to give their names - see below). When people are speaking Zsu Zsu would make agreement sounds "I zee" "tell Zsu Zsu more darzing", etc. After 15 seconds or so, Zsu Zsu would say she has had enough and ask if any one has anything else to add. If the mic records a voice, the program repeats Zsu Zsu's agreement sounds . If no input into the mic, then Zsu Zsu says "Iss zat it?, You call that drama? I'll give you drama. In either event, she goes into the "baguette in Zsu Zsu's ass" comments you mentioned earlier. For bonus points, Zsu Zsu could slide the window open and stick her ass out (complete with the aforementioned inserted loaf of bread) to show just how much Zsu Zsu both loves her man and hates burners.
We could create a different treatment for each of the main causes of drama.
For added fun, you could record the comments left by people and after a few days on the playa edit them into an endlessly repeating loop that other folks can listen to. That could form the basis of the last button “Miscellaneous Drama”. Just have Zsu Zsu briefly listen to their complaints, then interrupt them with "You zink you have problems - listen to zeese hippeez whine . . . Zsu Zsu has no time for you."
One last brainwaive here - at the end of the insults and other nonsense perhaps Zsu Zsu could dispense a "I Told it to Zsu Zsu" button with a fuzzy picture of a female mannequin with a beret as a background. Promotes the art piece and would be a pretty cool playa gift. |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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Ah, yes! Good ideas all, Major Mallet. How about a token dispensation that says "I took it to Zsu Zsu" on one side and something about drama on the other. Like some sort of absolution.
We are looking into using some of the new advances in voice recognition software that could pick up key words from the participant's rant and cue the responses accordingly. Our biggest challenge: wind in the microphone.
I really like the idea of the installation being way out by the trash fence (where all true drama belongs), but the maintenance and public interaction would be harder to achieve. Envisioning small crowds pleading "Come out Zsu Zsu! We miss you!" Then we have a real coming out party for her after the man burns. You like, Oui?
I would like to infect the language at BRC much as we did with "... In Space!". Examples would be "Don't get all Zsu Zsu on me about this" or "Take it to Zsu Zsu!"
How do you feel about a theme camp called "Surrender" where we all dress in French Foreign Legion uniforms. "I came here to forget.... my love for Zsu Zsu!"
_________________
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Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm |
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theCryptofishist
Joined: 23 Feb 2004
Posts: 17198
Location: Small Magellenic Cloud
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:07 pm Post subject: |
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Fort Zinderneuf!
Um, could you rig something for her on Radio Apok?
_________________
Catch and release thrift store books.
Oops! I squid it again!!
Watch this space. |
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thisisthatwhichis
Joined: 09 Feb 2006
Posts: 3295
Location: Reno, NV
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:24 pm Post subject: |
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| Mister Jellyfish Mister wrote: | Ah, yes! Good ideas all, Major Mallet. How about a token dispensation that says "I took it to Zsu Zsu" on one side and something about drama on the other. Like some sort of absolution.
I really like the idea of the installation being way out by the trash fence (where all true drama belongs), but the maintenance and public interaction would be harder to achieve. Envisioning small crowds pleading "Come out Zsu Zsu! We miss you!" Then we have a real coming out party for her after the man burns. You like, Oui?
How do you feel about a theme camp called "Surrender" where we all dress in French Foreign Legion uniforms. "I came here to forget.... my love for Zsu Zsu!" |
Yes, Yes, all good..... Have you thought about an "empty chair" Zsu-Zsu installation out by the trash fence, separate from the other ideas??....... For those in serious drama??
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TITWI
To be on the wire is life. The rest is waiting.
It's show time, folks.....Joe Gideon |
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unjonharley
Joined: 09 Sep 2003
Posts: 4582
Location: Salem Or.
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 7:45 pm Post subject: |
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| the ?? is, is zsu zsu a drama queen her/himself.. |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 8:25 pm Post subject: |
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| thisisthatwhichis wrote: | | Mister Jellyfish Mister wrote: | Ah, yes! Good ideas all, Major Mallet. How about a token dispensation that says "I took it to Zsu Zsu" on one side and something about drama on the other. Like some sort of absolution.
I really like the idea of the installation being way out by the trash fence (where all true drama belongs), but the maintenance and public interaction would be harder to achieve. Envisioning small crowds pleading "Come out Zsu Zsu! We miss you!" Then we have a real coming out party for her after the man burns. You like, Oui?
How do you feel about a theme camp called "Surrender" where we all dress in French Foreign Legion uniforms. "I came here to forget.... my love for Zsu Zsu!" |
Yes, Yes, all good..... Have you thought about an "empty chair" Zsu-Zsu installation out by the trash fence, separate from the other ideas??....... For those in serious drama?? |
Wow! Like a Zsu Zsu satellite installation! I like the way you scheme as always, Titwi! Can we convert the electric chair?
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Schlam Ein Hammer: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer.htm
Ein Hammer Progress Blog: www.MutantVehicle.com/Ein_Hammer_Progress.htm |
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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Mister Jellyfish Mister
Joined: 11 Mar 2004
Posts: 2200
Location: Sparks, Nevada
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Z Spy
Joined: 08 Sep 2007
Posts: 26
Location: Deep Playa
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| Posted: Mon Sep 17, 2007 10:27 pm Post subject: The Empty Chair |
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| Quote: | Yes, Yes, all good..... Have you thought about an "empty chair" Zsu-Zsu installation out by the trash fence, separate from the other ideas??....... For those in serious drama??
_________________
TITWI |
So people will be curious of the meaning of this "empty chair". How 'bout when Zsu Zsu is over-the-edge with her "bitchy self", we the Foriegn Legion of the Surrender Camp, "surrender" her to the "empty chair" for a deserved "time-out", preferably in a middle of a dust storm.  We celebrate by sharing a glass of bubbly Tang, (I obviously didn't get enough at the 2007 Burn  ) and a playa-caked truffle and wave our surrender flag, but only for a moment as we will once again be manipulated by Zsu Zsu's quick wit and sexual promises and will return her to drama saturated box...................
ZSpy
aka ZEspion |
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