AntiM wrote:When I was in the Navy, I was stationed at Fort Gordon for a while for school. There was a large drill field, huge open grassy area surrounded by trees. They type of place that even though it is open and seemingly visible, you're invisible to the buildings because of distance and how the structures are screened by the vegetation. It was off limits after dark, there had been a number of rapes and assaults that year.
I was cutting across it at dusk, headed back to the barracks, in civilian clothes. I was hustling, it was getting dark. There were shortcut footpaths worn in the grass, so I was taking a diagonal. A man came up behind me, I guess he'd been in the trees to my right, angling to cross my path, but was moving much faster. He didn't pass me, but slowed and asked if I knew it was dangerous to be out on the drill field after dark. Yes, of course I knew. He didn't move along or ask me if I wanted an escort. He paced me. My inner alarm system went on high alert. He asked me what I would do if attacked and raped by someone out there. He specifically said "rape". I stopped in my tracks, looked him square in the eye and calmly said, "I'd kill him with my bare hands. I'd tear his throat out". The guy stammered a bit, oh okay, and took off like a shot.
It wasn't a normal encounter. He didn't act "properly". Maybe he was simply clueless, but I had a bad feeling, still do.
What makes this so memorable to me is it marks the first time I threatened a man, rather than being meek and easy-going. Prior to that moment, I'd been the go with the flow gal. Suddenly I was the kick ass woman.
Try it, you'll like it.
I was age 24 or so, about the age of many women attending B-Man for the first time. Many have not had the opportunity or need to be forceful, to be loud, to cry for assistance. That is why I think other women relating experiences may be of use, and why role playing would boost confidence in taking action if needed.
For the record, I had defended myself before, but not verbally, not pre-assault. Two different mindsets and reactions.
Not to be overly serious, but one thing I've noticed in life, and even talked to my wife about (she's a women's self defense instructor, among other things), is how women tend to not trust their intuition. Obviously this is an overgeneralization, but women seem to have better intuition than most men, BUT, society or men or whatever, have taught them to ignore it. "oh, you're just being paranoid" "he's just a little drunk, he won't do anything; he's harmless!".
Trust your gut!!