your stupid joke here

[TomServo]

What's grey and comes in quarts?

An elephant.

[Dr. Pyro]

You know how to stop your dog from humping your leg?

Pick him up and blow him.

[FIGJAM]

"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: 'My friend is dead! What can I do?' The operator says: 'Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.' There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: 'OK, now what'?"

[knowmad]

Three dogs are sitting in the waiting room of a vet's office. One is a Poodle, one is a Schnauzer and the other is a Great Dane. The Poodle turns to the Schnauzer and asks, "Why are you here?"

The Schnauzer responds, "I'm 17 years old. I don't see or hear very well. I've been having accidents in the house. My owner says I'm too old and sick so he brought me here to be put to sleep."

The Schnauzer asks the poodle, "Why are you here?"

The Poodle responds, "I've not been myself lately. I've been especially high strung. I've been barking all the time, I've been snapping at people and I even bit one of the neighbor's kids. Nobody knows why this has been happening. My owner says he can't risk me biting somebody else so he brought me here to be put to sleep."

The Poodle and Schnauzer ask the Great Dane why he is here. The Great Dane responds, "My owner is this beautiful runway model. Yesterday she was walking around the house naked when she suddenly bent down to pick up something she dropped. She was bent over and naked when nature took over and the next thing I know I'm on top of her doing her doggie style. I just couldn't help myself."

The Poodle asks, "So your owner brought you here to be put to sleep?"

The Great Dane says, "No, I'm just here to get my nails trimmed."

[Ugly Dougly]

It seems that a gentleman had an urge to go hunting of an autumn morn, don't you know?
But alas, he traveled up hill and down dale in search of something to shoot.
Presently he came upon a beautiful naked lady, lounging suggestively beneath a tall spruce tree.
He said, "I say! Are you game?"
She said, "Oh, yes, big boy, am I ever game!"
So he shot her.

[TomServo]

What's the difference between the Iraq war and th Vietnam war?

Bush had a plan to get out of the Vietnam war.

[Bounce530]

If you put your ear up to somebody else's ear you'll hear the words,
"What the fuck are you doing?"

[goathead]

something about Kermit's finger

[TomServo]

How many hippies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None. They screw in dirty fucking sleeping bags.



.....sorry if that's a repeat

[FIGJAM]

I went to the best toddler hypnotist in the world to help me quit smoking.


She said" You are getting seepy, vewy, vewy seepy."


And I woke up in a puddle!!!

[Dr. Pyro]

not only is that joke stupid, it's not even funny

[TomServo]

Q: How many Burners does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: WOOHOO!