gyre wrote:Omgrey, I commend your persistence.
I do wonder how anyone has statistics about false allegations?
With what I've experienced over the past several months after speaking out about my assaults and trying to warn others, both with losing friends and an entire community, I'm not sure your kudos are intended as sincere or sarcastic. But I choose to take them as sincere anyway. Thank you.
As far as how anyone has statistics for a crime that is grossly under reported to begin with is a very good question. I suppose it would depend on how one defines "rape" and how one defines "false." Definitions vary, legally, between states, and the definitions certainly vary between what can legally be proven as rape and what is emotionally, psychologically, morally, or socially considered rape.
Unfortunately, "rape" is still considered the stereotypical stranger rape with great, violent force in a park or a dark alley, where upwards of 70% of rapes are committed by someone the victim knows. Perhaps *you* define "rape" differently than the rape victim. Still, believe the victim. It's not *you* who will suffer months of PTSD (if not years) because of the violation. It's not you who has had their very self and sexuality stolen. It's not you who can never trust again. It's not your definition that matters.
Also, if you take the rapists' word for it, the "false" reporting statistics are much higher.
However, 1 in 8 men do self report rape, according to the Yes Means Yes "Meet the Predators" post
that discusses a study done at a college, as long as the The R Word
Victims' lives are destroyed by rape, whether or not there is enough evidence for a criminal investigation. It can take years and extensive therapy to recover. I've seen men questioning why a woman is making such a big deal over 5 minutes...sometimes, it doesn't even have to take that long. It can take a split second to sexually violate someone in a way that scars them for life. Rape is designed to humiliate and destroy. Period.
The reason I believe the 1.5% as opposed to higher numbers is because since my assaults and coming out as a survivor, every. single. woman. I've spoken with about it has admitted that she, too, was raped. I believe it because 1600+ women are raped every. single. day. in the United States, but those rapes aren't reported by the newspapers because it is so very common. I believe it because whenever someone admits to a false report, it's all over the news, skewing public perception that it happens far more often than it does...ignoring the fact that 1600 other women that day were actually raped.
I believe it because it's just so much fun to lose friends and entire communities, to be publicly humiliated and shamed and called a liar all while watching one's former community rally around the rapist. I'm sure women are just lining up to experience this.
So, yes, I believe the 1.5%. Even by suggesting victims are lying, you are perpetuating rape culture
. What is rape culture? This is.
Remember, as a culture, we think that "actual rapists" go to jail. They don't. That's reality. This is not about prosecuting an "innocent" man; this is about protecting women from violence. So, tell me, is it worth someone's reputation to be slightly (and I mean slightly) tarnished to save 1600 women a day from being raped? Give victims a place to speak out and name their attackers, and there will be so far fewer attacks. Where is the accountability for these monsters? To be able to call out rapists by name would truly be a Nightmare Scenario
You've all read what this man did to Rachel's daughter, and, it seems, to others. Why would anyone, let alone three different women, make that up? This man will likely never be found, although I hope he is, and he will be raping again. This. is. why. you believe the victim.
It's obviously a very emotional topic for all concerned, but it is nothing compared to what the victim endures. We, as a community, must learn how to respond when victims have the courage to speak out. Most everyone on this thread has done a beautiful job responding to the mother of the victim, and when a third party speaks out, they are believed more often than if a victim speaks out alone.
The first thing you say is "I'm so sorry this happened to you." The second: "I believe you." -- More on Responsible Community Response
RAINN: http://rainn.org/statisticsRape MythsFacing Rape allegation in sex-positive communitiesRapists speak
. They know what they're doing. We should listen