Trades for Infastructure (seeking camp)

[Lonely Unicorn]

What I want:
A shower
A kitchen
A meal
A cool place to hang out, new people to meet.
Perhaps more, what do you have?

What I'm offering
Picture Taking
Entertainment
Drug Free, usually sober, eager to help with crisis if you so much as need a super hero.
Various help with miscellaneous art projects
A promise to help with recovery from an atrocious dust storm that ravaged your camp.
Perhaps more, what do you need?

What I am:
32, Female, educated, fit, creative, quirky, eccentric, nutty, sometimes prude or shy, and more often quite ludicrous, rediculous or just plain rowdy, with the mind of an eight year old boy. I live in the bay area right now.
I'm very independent.
I like projects, in fact, this whole thing is a scheme to get me more of them.
I'm remarkably hard to make uncomfortable.

So, what have you got?

[Elorrum]

We commit to waiting for the second page to be sarcastic here, and I apologize.

Check out the threads where some camps still are recruiting. That's probably your best bet. Some of them may like unicorn references too, but that may have been a poor choice for a name.

You sound like a good person to have around. I mean that. but, perhaps you should read about gifting vs. barter, and the principle of self sufficiency. I have shade, cold sodas at the beginning of the week, and a few extra chairs. Sorry, no shower, and no meal plan. My tent is in my shade structure, so it's not really a common area all the time. I'm on the outskirts where there's plenty of space for people to set up their own tents and shade. I get to know my neighbors, and look out for them as they look out for me. I'm bringing a black cardboard box to put my ravioli can in to heat it up. I use a solar shower to heat water for washing my hair and having a bucket washcloth bath. You could borrow that if you bring your own water to use. I have extra lexan sporks to gift. I'm bringing a small stereo I made.

I'm sure you'll find a better situation, since you are offering so much. Best of luck to you, sincerely. It's going to be real windy, real dusty. That shower will last you about five minutes.

[CornMan]

Even I, the king of anti-snark, once seeing that a meal was one of the desired amenities, was temped to chime in a manner of the malevolent rapscallion, but I sensed she might be a hippie, and hippies are good people.

[trilobyte]

Giving this a nudge to the Theme Camps board, as the preparation board is more for the process of preparing for and building a camp.

[Bob]

We commit to waiting for the second page to be sarcastic here, and I apologize....

Excuse me? Who's the cunt that made that rule?

[Eric]

We commit to waiting for the second page to be sarcastic here, and I apologize....

Excuse me? Who's the cunt that made that rule?

Bob is correct. We ask that a question actually get an honest answer before people go to town (and that's a request, not a rule), but the "second page rule" is a cultural accretion, not something from On High.

[Elorrum]

excuse me, I should have said that I have chosen to try and commit to that, as a personal choice. I should not have said "we" and Bob, it might be time to switch to soda tonight.

[Lonesomebri]

What I want:
A shower
A kitchen
A meal
A cool place to hang out, new people to meet.
Perhaps more, what do you have?
..........................
I'm remarkably hard to make uncomfortable.
So, what have you got?

I have the promise of a meal, showers, cool people, a kitchen and a dust free environment....
And the guarantee that when you discover this is all a lie, your remarkable quality will be brought into play.


Page 2 can't come fast enough.

[CrispyDave]

Just how many posts does it take to get to the 2nd page?

[theCryptofishist]

Somebody post that tootsie pop owl...

[theCryptofishist]

Besides, doesn't Ellorum's first post count?

Or are we just going to have the equivilent of drumming our fingers for 20 more posts?

[trilobyte]

I suspect Elorrum was using the royal 'we' or something, Bob, it's not a rule I'm familiar with. Personally though, I think this lowers the bar even further in the "can't be bothered to find a camp to join" department, that's quite a lot of amenities to be seeking for somebody jumping into it so late in the game. Good luck to the OP in finding what she's looking for.

[theCryptofishist]

Not even a raw food chef...

[CrispyDave]

Here ya go...

[Lonesomebri]

What I want:
A shower
A kitchen
A meal
A cool place to hang out, new people to meet.
What I'm offering.....Drug Free...

Hmmmmm......I have an idea where you can get all those things, the whole list of amenities.......
You just need to convince Johnny Law that you have the words reversed on what you're offering.


(Page count filler)
Some of the things a camp might want to know about you; Do you have a ticket already? Any experience with camping? Do you have a ride?

[Master]

I'm sure you'll find a better situation, since you are offering so much. Best of luck to you, sincerely. It's going to be real windy, real dusty. That shower will last you about five minutes.

Even I, the king of anti-snark, once seeing that a meal was one of the desired amenities, was temped to chime in a manner of the malevolent rapscallion, but I sensed she might be a hippie, and hippies are good people.

This is the first time I see such a kind response to someone new on the ePlaya since 2009. Everyone says I should not compare the ePlaya to the actual Playa, that people are much kinder there, and I've taken it on faith as I now prepare for my first burn and this is very encouraging.

Took me a while to understand the wavelength of the ePlaya, but it's still nice to see an actual response to an inquiry without jumping at the opportunity to make a witty remark.

That said, here's to page 2.
And I agree, hippies are good people.

[Lonesomebri]

The playa will greet us as Liberators !!!!

No, the playa is far more harsh than any internet post.

[theCryptofishist]

The playa will greet us as Liberators !!!!

No, the playa is far more harsh than any internet post.

Those sea monkeys are really really snarky. And they have no idea of pages, so there's no waiting for page 2...

[Lonesomebri]

I'm remarkably hard to make uncomfortable.
So, what have you got?

This wasn't a challenge?

Anyway, I suggested the OP provide info on their ticket, camping, and transport issues to help fill in details for a prospective camp, aiding them in their quest. All suggested well before page 2. By ME.
That's pretty darn tootin' helpful, kind, considerate....and whatever other hippie talk you want to label it. I'm here to serve. And yet no credit from the righteous? This eplaya is a harsh and terrible place.

[theCryptofishist]

I'm remarkably hard to make uncomfortable.
So, what have you got?

This wasn't a challenge?

Anyway, I suggested the OP provide info on their ticket, camping, and transport issues to help fill in details for a prospective camp, aiding them in their quest. All suggested well before page 2. By ME.
That's pretty darn tootin' helpful, kind, considerate....and whatever other hippie talk you want to label it. I'm here to serve. And yet no credit from the righteous? This eplaya is a harsh and terrible place.

*offers Snowball some lung paste*

[Roberto Dobbisano]

fuck page 2.


CAN WE SEE YOUR TITS, TOOTS?

[lucky.bastard]

well shit.., are ya'll going to make me ask for pictures?

[lucky.bastard]

thxs. RoDo...

[Lonely Unicorn]

Wow.

I'm sorry I put myself out there, you people delighted in attacking a complete stranger in a moment of weakness. This resource sucks.

Perhaps this will give you some more fuel:

I actually wasn't looking for a free camp. I was looking for infastructure I could share for what have you - meaning, you could say: "You could use my shower if you'll help me accomplish X."

I have transportation (My car has a new empty seat in it, in fac) a ticket, shelter, food, etc etc etc... and yah, I'll take a sponge bath in a bucket - but a shower, warm food and neat people to work on things with would be much nicer. You'll notice my original post wasn't asking for a ticket, transportation or shelter.

I was also trying to be blunt and not babble on about long dramatic stories about how I spent too much time preparing an art project instead of preparing for myself, how lost my camp last second. There's plenty of other posts with drama for you to attack, if that's what you like.

[Bob]

Well, I didn't judge you, fwiw, just all the syphilitic peckers making arbitrary rules around here.

[swampdog]

Oh my dear lonely unicorn. Let me lay it out for you. There are 2 ways to achieve the sort of collaboration I think you are looking for. One is: Show up. Be 100% prepared to take care of yourself. You will meet people and find ways to help one another, find things to share, etc.

The other is: Plan plan plan with a group of people for months. This is hard work. And you're late for the party. This door is pretty much closed to you. You will probably start planning next year 2 weeks from today, with some of the new best friends you just made.

(ok, I guess there's another - make a request for A SPECIFIC THING you need. My virgin year I answered a request for someone who needed some bikes hauled and we ended up camping together having a great time)

When you post a request like you did, it sounds like begging. I know that sounds harsh, darlin' I know you didn't mean it that way. But it sounds like begging. "Anybody out there who can provide me everything for my camp in exchange for my sparkling personality and really honestly LOTS of help!" That's what it sounds like. I KNOW that's not what you meant, don't get all cranky with me what's tryin'a help you.

Then: "lonely unicorn"? There's a playa expression, you've probably never heard it, "sparkle pony". A sparkle pony is someone who thinks their charm and looks (and tits, usually) gets them whatever they want. They provide drama but no actual help and they seem to feel very very entitled.

So you've made a bad first impression. You don't believe this, I'm sure, but people are being REMARKABLY restrained in not heaping verbal abuse on you. It's a pretty snarky crowd around here.

Here's what I recommend. Come on out to the playa, as close to 100% self sufficient as you can figure out how to be. Meet your neighbors. Make friends, share, help, all the things I know you're good at.

There. Now come on over here and give Swampdog a kiss and be on your way.

Good luck. You may want to duck now, I suspect that we're almost on to page 2 where, by custom, verbal abuse may flow.

[Bob]

QED.

[swampdog]

Well look what they done! Good on ya lonely unicorn viewtopic.php?f=277&t=58512

[BBadger]

Sparkleponies are growing horns out their foreheads now?

[theCryptofishist]

So you've made a bad first impression. You don't believe this, I'm sure, but people are being REMARKABLY restrained in not heaping verbal abuse on you. It's a pretty snarky crowd around here.

When the first three words out of your mouth are:

What I want

you're asking for trouble.