I'm a Dead Horse!...Beat Me!

[Oldguy]

Oh the places you will go, because everywhere you go you are there. Namasty.

[theCryptofishist]

We're there, Roberto, but there's not there there yet.

[Sail Man]

We're there, Roberto, but there's not there there yet.

There where, here?

[wh..sh]

Hi random strangers,

I recently went to the doctor and he said I am suffering from some contagious disease.
Do you all suggest that I go to burning man, even though I just woke up from a coma last week?

[theCryptofishist]

"Two riders are approaching, the wino begins to howl."

[gyre]

Babylon is fallen, is fallen, and all the graven images of her gods he hath broken unto the ground

[lemur]

noobs are doomed.

[Simon of the Playa]

LISTEN TO MY SOUNDCLOUD MIX IM AWESOME AND YOU NEED ME ON YOUR STAGE AND IF YOU DONT I WILL BUG YOU BY FLOODING YOUR INBOX WITH MY FRIENDS STUPID ASS MESSAGES ABOUT HOW FUCKING AWESOME I AM...

PLUR...

[mgb327]

When no wino blows, even the weathervane has character.
--Stanislaw Lec


Will the trash fence catch all the weathervanes?

[Simon of the Playa]

Hi, im having some minor speed bump on my road to the Playa and i am totally incapacitated to the point of asking perfect strangers the stupidest fucking questions i could have either answered or solved myself if i had made even a feeble attempt at radical self -reliance...


re-assure and affirm my life choices for me please, and lay out all that i should do.

include links you spend time to gather for me.


Thanks!

[illy dilly]

I'm going in for a liver transplant on August 17th. The Doctor says I should be out of the hospital by the 20th. That gives me 7 days tell gates open, I should be totally ok to go to Burning Man right?
I'll bring extra Advil and pain killers encase it starts to hurt.
I can even gift Dilauded to to my neighbors.

I'll be ok right?
I mean, I have a brand new liver! So I can really drink a lot, What could go wrong!

[Shambala]

Does anyone know if it's gonna be dusty this year? I need to know what to pack. Please help quickly, I'm packing right now.

[mgb327]

When are Bassnectar and Daft Punk playing?

[TomServo]

I'm walking into this completely blind. I know it says to read something...but, where do I camp? How do I get electricity for my RV? I don't know math or maps, so when do I leave?

[Ugly Dougly]

Oh, the horses you will beat!

[goathead]

dead goat beating count?

[AntiM]

dead goat beating count?

It is only perverted if we get to watch.

[Zhust]

There are a lot of pages in this thread so I just read the title before replying.

I just want a sanity check: I duct-taped an air conditioner to the side of my tent and I bought a 3,000-watt power inverter from Harbor Freight for a nickel. I have a solar panel on the dashboard of my car so I figure I can run the air conditioner from the cigarette lighter. At night I figure I'll just turn on the headlights and put the solar panel in front of them.

[Bob]

Larry "Mittens" Harvey raided $716 billion dollars from Black Rock City's Emergency Services Department and funneled it into secret Bahamian bank accounts.

WHAT SAY YOU?!?!?

[catinthefunnyhat]

There are a lot of pages in this thread so I just read the title before replying.

I just want a sanity check: I duct-taped an air conditioner to the side of my tent and I bought a 3,000-watt power inverter from Harbor Freight for a nickel. I have a solar panel on the dashboard of my car so I figure I can run the air conditioner from the cigarette lighter. At night I figure I'll just turn on the headlights and put the solar panel in front of them.

I giggled.

[catinthefunnyhat]

I'm allergic to bacon. It seems a lot of you plan to cook and gift bacon on the playa this year. Is it the kind of bacon that has bacon in it? Because, if so, I totally can't eat it (sadface). Is anyone going to be cooking that bacon-free bacon? Could someone perhaps make me a list of the camps that will be gifting bacon-free bacon, so I can go and try some out? Because I totally want to try that stuff. Except that I hear it might actually have some bacon in it, so can you double-check the label for me and maybe also contact the producer to ensure that your bacon-free bacon doesn't have any bacon in it before you bring it to the playa? Because if I eat any bacon, I might die (crying face).

[FIGJAM]

I'm alergic to nuts.

Can I drink coconut water to stay hydrated?

[Sail Man]

I've decided at the last minute that I can't miss this burn and have bought up all available tickets. I will be diverting Amtrak's California Zephyr train to the track into Gerlach to waiting deluxe Beaver Patriot Motorhome's staffed with the Playboy Bunny or Chippendale Man of your choice who will be at your beck and call to pamper you, as you and you only see fit, including any and all sexual favor's and the drugs of your choice. Renowned Chef Andrew Zimmern will staff your own personal theme camp with some of the most exotic cuisine found around the world, topped off (excuse the pun) by a Saturday pre-burn dinner of Monkey Brains, fresh from the source. But you'll want to hurry, for I have only 867 of the 5309 tickets remaining, and accept only cash or lifelong sexual favors from Greek Goddesses. And remember, if you have to ask the price, you can't afford it.

[Lonesomebri]

Bargain tickets to sold out Burning Man music festival.
Oh wow man, my long-time Burner buddies and I had all this great art, and stuff we were gonna give to the community. I bought up 4 first round tickets, and with shipping and fees, rent and overhead, child support payments and batman capes, it comes to a swweet bargain touch of $2000 for the bunch. Turns out my buddies flaked on me, one got cancer, one is dead, and the other is pregnant. I wanted to punch them in the nose, but as a certified spiritual healer I had hoped that simply getting in their face would do the trick. I really want to go, but without my camp mates, I just can't make it. Even though, for sure, we all bought these tickets planning to go, not to sell at some inflated price, dig? Anyway, not looking to make any money, especially off of my fellow Burners. In the spirit of Giving, and as a solid for a fellow Burner, hit me up for this great deal. At this price, these won't last long. My greatest hope is that some fellow Burners will enjoy these tickets for me......and I don't get stuck with this failed speculated investment.

Love you all, have a great Burn.

[Zhust]

OMG! They're here!

I bought 150,000 glowstick connectors from a guy in Shenzen for $15 on eBay. I know how easy it is to lose the little connectors for making necklaces out of the long skinny glow sticks, so I'm going to Gift the connectors!

[theCryptofishist]

Is there a problem stealing bases on the bm softball field?

[CrispyDave]

When are Bassnectar and Daft Punk playing?

What is a Bass nectar?

[gyre]

Some sort of fish-based alcoholic cocktail.

[mgb327]

It is the sap from a Bass plant....it's sap. Very sappy. Saplike in its' texture. Strong hint of sap flavor. Unlike pear nectar. Bass plants were used at one time to make lures, hence the moniker.

[some seeing eye]

I'm a very experienced drug user. I've tried every drug that exists and they have expanded my mind to massive proportions. I'm so tuned into the vibe, that I can detect an undercover cop at 50 yards. And I'm so brilliant that I understand every drug control law in every jurisdiction. And I'm such a genius that I can talk myself out of every situation. I'm like a squirrel, I can hide my stash so it can never be found. And I'm empathic meaning I can actually read the minds of cops. I'm so pumped I can run a mile in 4:20, easily evading capture. And I'm a world class parkour champ, so I can get vertical.

So this is my question. Are there undercover cops at Burning Man? Is that LEGAL? I don't think that's fair! I mean drugs were legal in the Netherlands at one time, right? And there are no undercover cops in the Netherlands, isn't that a fact?