Free ticket available for right person - strings attached

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Free ticket available for right person - strings attached

Postby DeepBluePlaya » Mon Aug 13, 2012 7:48 pm

So...
Here's the scoop:

I'm going to be very busy during Burning Man, participating and volunteering in 3 very different camps around the playa.
2 of those are very high energy and time consuming, of acrobatic and/or extreme-sports nature, with the third being my 'home camp', which is also a theme camp.

The ticket was for my friend/assistant/'playa-wife', who unfortunately won't be able to make it.
I'm looking for a replacement 'playa-wife' who can spend an hour or two a day with me, mostly transporting me to and from one camp to another and maybe get some normal camp duties organized. (I have a scooter for that with me)

To be clear, there are no sexual requirements, expectations or 'strings'.
Just be honest, friendly and energetic.

I really just need someone to keep things a little organized.
I will give more complete details to you about the camps and me if you are interested and contact me.

This would be a great opportunity for a first time burner or returning burner without a camp.
I promise that this will be fairly mind boggling, even for a returning burner.

I'm absolutely honest, have no hidden agendas and once you know who I am, you'll see what I mean.

Please send a little info about yourself along with some thoughts about your expectations. Picture would be nice too.
Send response to deepblueplaya(at)gmail(dot)com
I will do the same, along with some more info on the activities and a couple more incentives.

If you are the one, feel free to report back to this board about 'your' burning man experience. :D

Happy days & pleasant nights;
Thanks for your interest.

DeepBluePlaya

PS: I'm only able to check on any responses at night but will do so every night and will let you know if I found someone.
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby CrispyDave » Mon Aug 13, 2012 7:53 pm

Im your huckleberry....
You do not have the required permissions to view the files attached to this post.
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby Lonesomebri » Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:18 pm

"playa-wife?"

What if you really find one, and so she makes you run your own damn errands?
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby theCryptofishist » Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:20 pm

It sounds so much more civilized than "playa-bitch" don't you think?
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby BBadger » Mon Aug 13, 2012 9:31 pm

I'd prefer to be called the "playa indentured servant."

That doesn't quite roll off the tongue though.
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby DeepBluePlaya » Mon Aug 13, 2012 10:57 pm

lol...

Well, I'm really in need of a little help and don't think that:
"Yo, I need a playa-bitch" would be the best way to approach it.

Fucking scary clown though.

Only a few more days!
See ya soon.
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby LegendZero » Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:16 pm

I keep hoping eventually one of these will be truly strings attached in plain bold type, something like

Free ticket for Nubile sexy female who likes to get naked.

"Sex optional but expected so I will be trying to put my penis into you at some point during the week. you will have to wear skimpy costumes, and generally behave as good arm/eye candy is expected to. You will do menial labor and pretty much serve my every non-sexual whim because advertising for serving my sexual whims is illegal and makes people say mean things. I am totally non-creepy 8)

I have a bunch of awesome provisions like an airconditioned yurt mounted on top of a double decker party RV and I am totally willing to pay for your trip so I have someone to hit on constantly.

No special skills required other than a great smile, nice tits, perfect ass and the ability to breath through your ears."
:twisted:

P.S. not saying this is the OP I just really want to see this post so bad with all of the tickets to the right person threads
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby Jackass » Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:52 pm

LegendZero wrote:the ability to breath through your ears.


Thats a good one!(makes note)
Don't worry, it'll get weird...
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby gaminwench » Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:10 am

... playaSherpa...
"So you have an eye to be stormy this winter..." spammer lmofsaLyvZ
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby tellerhans » Tue Aug 14, 2012 3:38 am

LegendZero - I had hard times trying to keep sitting at my chair while laughing so hard! :D
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby gyre » Tue Aug 14, 2012 4:50 am

Love that, Tellerhans
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby ygmir » Tue Aug 14, 2012 7:02 am

you say wife......does the person have to be female? Or, are you using "wife" as a description of services?
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby DeepBluePlaya » Tue Aug 14, 2012 8:46 pm

ROFL... hahahaha

You freakin playa savages.

LegendZero: Nice one. Why don't you go for it if you want to see a post like that?

Is it really so hard for you to imagine that not everything is about sex?
I've had plenty and would not go to these length for it.
Are you guys all so starved for it that it's the only thing you have in mind when you see my post?
Getting laid is much easier than finding someone who can and will help out a little.
I'm volunteering a whole bunch of time for a couple different camps and projects and after last year decided that a little help would indeed be great.
That's why I arranged for it this year.
Didn't happen with my friend so I have a spare ticket and didn't quite give up on it.
That's the reason for my post.
Not my 'out of control' dick.

How do you know I'm not gay?
And I get along with girls better than guys?
lol...

Well, that's not the case but my scooter is only rated for 300 lbs and I'm taking up 180lbs of it.
And yeah, I sure like eye candy as well.
Anything wrong with that?
That doesn't change the fact that I don't give a shit about the sex here, I WANT THE HELP!!!
I'm a big boy and can get laid on my own if I actually find the time for it.

So, I'm gonna check my e-mail now and see if anybody is interested.

See ya in a few days,

PS: Looking forward to a few more posts from you 'dick-heads'. :D
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby Lonesomebri » Tue Aug 14, 2012 9:50 pm

playa-wife
Yes, indeed, where did all of us savages get the crazy idea that sex might be involved, sex in marrages ??? Savages!
No sex with the wife in your hand-book. Even though admittedly alittle eye-candy isn't a bad thing....... though who needs it.....while it is nice......

Getting someone to help is harder than getting laid, sure, that is why when the playa-wife isn't as helpful as you had planned, you might be tempted to find some other use for her. What you need is a playa-eunuch.......seeing as how sex has nothing to do with this request.
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby DeepBluePlaya » Tue Aug 14, 2012 11:25 pm

:D

OK.
Enough already.
You looked right through me Lonesome Lori.
Let me rewrite my posting.

Free ticket available for gorgeous, tall, light, blonde bombshell who will fuck my brains out daily, take care of me and my camp, cook, clean and run me around the playa.
Any bitches available for that?
Lori?
I can't get laid any other way and think a $300 ticket must be worth all of the above and then some.
I've got a huge dick and will show you a great time all night long.
Lonesome?
Any interest?
I'll just make up some stuff about volunteering my time so I can rope you in and follow you all week long to get you in the sack.
Or don't you fit my description?

Lol...
How's that?
Would that be the posting you expect for a free ticket?
Or have you never met a guy who actually means and does what he says?

Maybe the 'WIFE" part is what throws you.
Maybe 'female-playa-friend' would suit you more.

Yes, I'd prefer a female, since I happen to be a straight male, hence my comment about the eye-candy in the last post.
But that does NOT mean I'm doing this with the thought or hope of getting sex out of it.
Is that really so unfathomable for you?
Does that make me less of a man?
Should every man have ONLY sex on their mind?

Or are you taking exception to something else?

So, I'm saying it again because I mean it:
I'm looking for some help, prefer it to be female, but don't expect, or yearn for, or secretly plot for any sexual favors in return.
I don't know how to be any clearer about it.

You may not believe it but that doesn't change the fact that it is so.
For me, anyway.

Peace & Love,
See ya on the playa
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby ygmir » Wed Aug 15, 2012 6:56 am

Lonesomebri wrote:playa-wife
Yes, indeed, where did all of us savages get the crazy idea that sex might be involved, sex in marrages ??? Savages!
No sex with the wife in your hand-book. Even though admittedly alittle eye-candy isn't a bad thing....... though who needs it.....while it is nice......

Getting someone to help is harder than getting laid, sure, that is why when the playa-wife isn't as helpful as you had planned, you might be tempted to find some other use for her. What you need is a playa-eunuch.......seeing as how sex has nothing to do with this request.


accidental literary brilliance I say!!
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby Dr. Pyro » Wed Aug 15, 2012 7:34 am

DeepBluePlaya wrote: Is it really so hard for you to imagine that not everything is about sex?


Uh, yes.
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby gyre » Wed Aug 15, 2012 8:10 am

While I was not djing once, i saw you not having sex once.

I suppose you could have been thinking about it.
But I'm not going to think about that.
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby Lonesomebri » Wed Aug 15, 2012 12:02 pm

Yeah, sorry, it's that I've seen posts before looking for a playa-wife, and maybe it's just the culture I grew up in, but I assume everyone has some idea of what being a wife entails, and first in some people’s mind might be a helpful person to do one’s bidding, to others it’s an equal who will demand every bit as much as they give, and to some of us deviants, sex comes to mind.

My original thought was the traveling businessman who has to share a hotel room with his secretary, separate beds. That night it’s cold and the boss says, “why don’t we just pretend for tonight that we are married?’ The secretary says, “sure, why don’t you get up and shut the damn window and turn on the heat, you insufferable little cheapskate.” It's a joke. Ya know, ha ha?

All jokes, no questions about anyone’s manhood….. What I typed reflects on me, I accept that. Same with us all.

I think I may even trust your intentions more than you do.
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby Foxfur » Wed Aug 15, 2012 11:07 pm

But what if I'm the lucky recipient and, say, oh I don't know, want sex?
Would that be a problem?
I'm really flexible and am willing to learn to breathe through my ears.
It'd be great if you had nice tits but I can fit you right up with some sweet falsies.

Seriously though...
He's a mystery wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma, painted in hot pants. - Savannah
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby DeepBluePlaya » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:34 pm

Hey guys & girls,

Thanks for all the posts and fun.
Just letting you know that the ticket found an owner.
Anybody doubting my integrity can e-mail me at the above address and I will give you the details on where to find me on the playa and we can have a face to face conversation about it.
I'll buy the drinks. :D

Can't wait to see ya all in the dust soon...

Peace & Love
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby DeepBluePlaya » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:36 pm

...and anybody willing and able to teach me how to breathe through my ears...
ditto
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Re: Free ticket available for right person - strings attache

Postby Homiesinheaven » Thu Aug 16, 2012 2:51 pm

congrats, send pixxx!
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