Where the fuck does this go?

[Ugly Dougly]

[Ugly Dougly]

[gyre]

I know this guy.
Very nice guy.
And i wouldn't have picked him to swim the river.

http://www.wmctv.com/story/18560054/swimmers
http://www.wmctv.com/story/18555924/mis ... n-lockdown

MEMPHIS, TN - (WMC-TV) – Triathlon training took a dangerous turn Thursday night when Memphis Police arrested two swimmers in the Mississippi River at BBQ Fest.

The whole Mississippi River swimming adventure and arrest sounds more like a comedy of errors with two confident swimmers who say they didn't know who was yelling at them and officers wondering if they were crazy.

"They were both in bathing suits and little goggles," police officers said.

"We were training for the triathlon," said Richard Prince, one of the swimmers arrested.

The two men say swimming in the Mississippi River is not dangerous, if you know what you are doing.

"I swim in it all the time," he said.

65-year-old Richard Prince has done the Ironman and has been swimming in the Mississippi his whole life. He also has piloted a riverboat for decades. He knows the river.

"When I get off work I just jump in the river and swim across. It's no big deal," Prince said.

But it became a big deal Thursday when people at the World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest saw them.

"We were having a good time and everything was fine until we went by the Memphis In May barbecue," Prince said.

That's when some people became concerned and told police. Officers told the men to get out.

But Prince, who was leading Roberto Ferie, didn't have his glasses on, and can't hear well. So he didn't know who was yelling at him.

"I thought they were barbecue officials," he said.

Prince wanted to swim to his barge to get out at a safer spot. But he says Ferie hopped on the wrong barge, one carrying hazardous material. The captain was yelling at them to get off. When police finally caught up with them they had their guns drawn.

"Sorry it happened. We don't do it again," Prince said.

The two swimmers are charged with criminal trespass. Police say it is not illegal to swim in the Mississippi river but it is not recommended.
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

MEMPHIS, TN -

(WMC-TV) – Two Memphis men were arrested Thursday after they decided to dive into the Mississippi River and swim their way to New Orleans, according to court records.

One of the thousands of people attending the Memphis in May World Championship Barbecue Cooking Contest spotted the men swimming in the river and alerted officers who were patrolling Tom Lee Park.

Police tried to get the Richard Prince and Roberto Ferie to swim back to the shore. However, instead of getting out of the water, the men told officers that they were swimming to New Orleans.

"That statement led Harbor Patrol officers to believe the two suspect (sic) may have been in an unstable state of mind," according to the police report.

But catching Prince and Ferie proved pretty difficult.

Before police boats could catch up with the pair, the men managed to climb aboard the "Arne Christiansen," a ship carrying hazardous material down the river, officer said.

The ship's captain ordered the men off his vessel over the vessel's loud speaker. But instead of jumping overboard, Prince and Ferie asked a crew member to help hide them from police, according to court records.

However, their pleas for help didn't work and eventually the pair jumped back into the river and boarded a second boat.

But officers were ready for the men and, with guns drawn, managed to arrest them on the boat's deck.

Prince and Ferie were both charged with criminal trespassing.

[gyre]

http://www.supplejack.com/smoky/smoke.htm

A type of animal rights group

[Ugly Dougly]

[robbidobbs]

GUFFAW! That's just too good!

[gyre]

Does this travel alarm go in checked or carry on luggage?

[Ugly Dougly]

Great gift idea; I wonder if I can send it by mail?

[theCryptofishist]

Dear Esteem Customer, Due to the new security update
we heree by advise all our user to kindly re:confirm there login details
Kindly click on our website below to verify your profile.

(redacted)

NOTE: This is a compulsory measure.

[Ugly Dougly]

"heree"? srsly?

[gyre]

Great gift idea; I wonder if I can send it by mail?

If it's mail, all you need is a paper envelope, playdoh, some wire, batteries, and maybe a travel alarm of some type.
Package inside the paper with the playdoh flattened out in direct contact with the envelope.
Connect the wires from the playdoh to the flap of the envelope.

For legal reasons, I probably never said any of this.

[Ugly Dougly]

[knowmad]

[gyre]

I wrote a story about a sheep named Poopsie once.

No clue where the name came from.
Just seemed right.

[ygmir]

I wrote a story about a sheep named Poopsie once.

No clue where the name came from.
Just seemed right.

[Box Burner]

I wrote a story about a sheep named Poopsie once.

No clue where the name came from.
Just seemed right.

Isn't "Poopsie" an affectionate name for pets and children that is used buy women who are so wealthy that they don't know what to do with it all or themselves either?

[gyre]

I think you're right.

[Ugly Dougly]

But a poopy is something you find in a diaper.

[gyre]

http://www.i-sis.org.uk/canWaterBurn.php

[Box Burner]

So how many angels can actually dance on the head of a pin? Ya know... If they would all stop dancing more of them could get on the pin.

[Ugly Dougly]

Thank the gods for George Takei.

[catinthefunnyhat]

Looking for a drummer?

[theCryptofishist]

We should just offer him some viagra and hope he shuts the fuck up.

[Ugly Dougly]

That would just add to his confusion.

[theCryptofishist]

So how many angels can actually dance on the head of a pin? Ya know... If they would all stop dancing more of them could get on the pin.

It also depends on the dance. Pogo takes up less room than square dancing.

[Ugly Dougly]

Pogo? Viagra?

[robbidobbs]

I loved to pogo dance in the 80's. I can see how that could run the juices, so to speak. I was also into slam, and that can get you thrown out.

[Straightveg]

So close, but you should have posted that over in viewtopic.php?f=56&t=52302&start=120

[theCryptofishist]

[knowmad]

Wall of wrong fishy.