The Epic of MamaSharon's Virgin Year With Newbie Advice

[looktothestars89]

Katie's turning twenty-one. "What do you want to do?" "Take me to Burning Man, Mom, before I turn twenty-two." Figured if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right, so I sewed a dragon, all day and night. For six months I sewed a diamond dragon skin big enough to hide a motor home in. My husband loved me, I decided, while a ten-foot dragon head resided. Got everything done. We're packed to go, but our head-carrying truck" took three hours to show. Since we'd already agreed they could be four hours late, this delayed us seven hours getting out of the gate. Finally got to the Playa. The line was a fright. By the time we got through it was the dead of the night. Our truck told us their address, "Something and J". In our Newbie minds the rest "went away". For hours we searched for our Budget truck. Exhausted, I parked, sleep deprived, out of luck. "Can we sleep here?" "Yes, you're allowed." But the guy in fur boots said. "It's going to be loud." Loud ain't the word. Motor home shaking. Oy vay! In the morning we migrated to 2:30 and J. In the A.M. we realized the truck also had our bikes, most of our supplies, and our water. Yikes! Not to be daunted we set up the Bazaar. but we put up signs on every porta-potty and bar. We walked to the computer and checked for lost "heads". Not registered for two days. Oh Dread! "For six months I sewed it not minding the cost, I go to 'will-call' and now my 'head's' lost." At my very lowest point of the day, neighbor Nancikins played Joni and fed me a latte. Renewed, I resolved that come morning time, no matter what, my " head" would be mine. On day three, hell-bent, to center camp I walked. Their address was clear on the other side of the clock. But a super Norwegian on an "Engine That Could" scooter, agreed to take me. He couldn't have been cuter. "Make way for Mama Sharon" he'd shout on the way. If he only knew the gift he gave me that day. Our truck, my "head", our bikes, our water, back just in time , it couldn't have been hotter. But just when I thought I had no reason to curse, I reached down and found I was missing my purse. In a change purse I'd packed my bank card, you see, cash to get home, and, of course, my I.D. Did I mention that before we came our "manly man" quit? "I can't take all that heat, dust and sh--!" Thus leaving head, garage and rebar and no muscles or guy, I just bowed my head and started to cry. "I'm just one person, I can't get it done!" "My heart is willing..." And then came the "one". A great guy from Surry, now lives in Vancouver, sparked us to action. Boy! What a mover! Before we knew it the head was on the hood. Others joined in, "Hey, This is good!" The garage went up. The "skin" went over the roof. You can get help on the Playa, I have the proof. So we got to play in our Bizarre Bazaar. Gifted clothes to girls who aren't and girls who are. But still the problem of how to get home. Had funds in the bank. Had service on an ATT phone. "Wire me money, I'm stranded you see." "Sorry. We know your voice, but you'll need an I.D. After four more days of "Oh, God!" and "Oh, F---!" The purse was found buried deep in the Budget Truck! I survived the trials! I passed the initiation. I've stretched the limits of my imagination. The Playa is rough and sometimes not nice. Only carry cash for coffee or ice. And for sanity's sake, when given the address of a space, WRITE IT DOWN! It's a great big place! And if at times you might get blue, just remember the gifts that have been given to you. For Burning Man's a special place, and though our visit wasn't easy, it was a glittering moment in time and space, and there's no place else I'd rather be.

[graidawg]

brilliant! how that reminded me of the sense of awe and wonder as a virgin feeling lost and home all at once

[ranger magnum]

Crazy shit. My first time was uneventfull. Showed up, found my camp, and had the time of my life.

[junglesmacks]

My newbie advice is to please.. for the love of god.. learn how to use paragraphs.

[Bob]

How unwelcoming.

[mamasharon]

Hey junglesmacks, Virgin to computers too. Teach a gal to fish!!! These things don't work like typewriters!! But then again, why should I have to conform to stanzas anyway?
.

[junglesmacks]

Sorry.. what was I thinking?


Hey there, welcome to eplaya!

[Savannah]

Hey junglesmacks, Virgin to computers too. Teach a gal to fish!!! These things don't work like typewriters!! But then again, why should I have to conform to stanzas anyway?
.

You don't have to conform. More people will read your posts if you do, because they're not feeling sea-sick looking at a "wall of text" (that's what happens to me) but that's totally up to you. Let your freak flag fly.

If you're interested: on the right side of your keyboard should be a wide rectangular key reading either "enter" or "return". Hit that twice (while you're composing) and you can start a new paragraph.

[jkisha]

Hey junglesmacks, Virgin to computers too. Teach a gal to fish!!! These things don't work like typewriters!! But then again, why should I have to conform to stanzas anyway?
.

You don't have to conform. More people will read your posts if you do, because they're not feeling sea-sick looking at a "wall of text" (that's what happens to me) but that's totally up to you. Let your freak flag fly.

If you're interested: on the right side of your keyboard should be a wide rectangular key reading either "enter" or "return". Hit that twice (while you're composing) and you can start a new paragraph.

OK now I'm confused. The OP is looktothestars89.

[oneeyeddick]

It looks like a good read but I can't read it for the same reason as Savannah.

[motskyroonmatick]

Awesome!!!!! Pure Awesome!!!!!! Loved it.

[jkisha]

Katie's turning twenty-one. "What do you want to do?" "Take me to Burning Man, Mom, before I turn twenty-two."

Figured if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right, so I sewed a dragon, all day and night. For six months I sewed a diamond dragon skin big enough to hide a motor home in. My husband loved me, I decided, while a ten-foot dragon head resided.

Got everything done. We're packed to go, but our head-carrying truck" took three hours to show. Since we'd already agreed they could be four hours late, this delayed us seven hours getting out of the gate.

Finally got to the Playa. The line was a fright. By the time we got through it was the dead of the night. Our truck told us their address, "Something and J". In our Newbie minds the rest "went away". For hours we searched for our Budget truck. Exhausted, I parked, sleep deprived, out of luck. "Can we sleep here?" "Yes, you're allowed." But the guy in fur boots said. "It's going to be loud." Loud ain't the word. Motor home shaking. Oy vay! In the morning we migrated to 2:30 and J.

In the A.M. we realized the truck also had our bikes, most of our supplies, and our water. Yikes! Not to be daunted we set up the Bazaar. but we put up signs on every porta-potty and bar. We walked to the computer and checked for lost "heads". Not registered for two days. Oh Dread! "For six months I sewed it not minding the cost, I go to 'will-call' and now my 'head's' lost."

At my very lowest point of the day, neighbor Nancikins played Joni and fed me a latte. Renewed, I resolved that come morning time, no matter what, my " head" would be mine. On day three, hell-bent, to center camp I walked. Their address was clear on the other side of the clock. But a super Norwegian on an "Engine That Could" scooter, agreed to take me. He couldn't have been cuter. "Make way for Mama Sharon" he'd shout on the way. If he only knew the gift he gave me that day.

Our truck, my "head", our bikes, our water, back just in time , it couldn't have been hotter. But just when I thought I had no reason to curse, I reached down and found I was missing my purse. In a change purse I'd packed my bank card, you see, cash to get home, and, of course, my I.D. Did I mention that before we came our "manly man" quit? "I can't take all that heat, dust and sh--!" Thus leaving head, garage and rebar and no muscles or guy, I just bowed my head and started to cry.

"I'm just one person, I can't get it done!" "My heart is willing..." And then came the "one". A great guy from Surry, now lives in Vancouver, sparked us to action. Boy! What a mover! Before we knew it the head was on the hood. Others joined in, "Hey, This is good!" The garage went up. The "skin" went over the roof. You can get help on the Playa, I have the proof.

So we got to play in our Bizarre Bazaar. Gifted clothes to girls who aren't and girls who are. But still the problem of how to get home. Had funds in the bank. Had service on an ATT phone. "Wire me money, I'm stranded you see." "Sorry. We know your voice, but you'll need an I.D.

After four more days of "Oh, God!" and "Oh, F---!" The purse was found buried deep in the Budget Truck! I survived the trials! I passed the initiation. I've stretched the limits of my imagination. The Playa is rough and sometimes not nice. Only carry cash for coffee or ice. And for sanity's sake, when given the address of a space, WRITE IT DOWN! It's a great big place! And if at times you might get blue, just remember the gifts that have been given to you. For Burning Man's a special place, and though our visit wasn't easy, it was a glittering moment in time and space, and there's no place else I'd rather be.

[BBadger]

Sorry.. what was I thinking?


Hey there, welcome to eplaya!

"Cool 20-sentence paragraph.... bro."

[catinthefunnyhat]

An alternate format:

Katie's turning twenty-one. "What do you want to do?"
"Take me to Burning Man, Mom, before I turn twenty-two."

Figured if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right,
so I sewed a dragon, all day and night.

For six months I sewed a diamond dragon skin
big enough to hide a motor home in.

My husband loved me, I decided,
while a ten-foot dragon head resided.

Got everything done. We're packed to go,
but our head-carrying truck took three hours to show.

Since we'd already agreed they could be four hours late,
this delayed us seven hours getting out of the gate.

Finally got to the Playa. The line was a fright.
By the time we got through it was the dead of the night.

Our truck told us their address, "Something and J".
In our Newbie minds the rest "went away".

For hours we searched for our Budget truck.
Exhausted, I parked, sleep deprived, out of luck.

"Can we sleep here?" "Yes, you're allowed."
But the guy in fur boots said. "It's going to be loud."

Loud ain't the word. Motor home shaking. Oy vay!
In the morning we migrated to 2:30 and J.

In the A.M. we realized the truck also had our bikes,
most of our supplies, and our water. Yikes!

Not to be daunted we set up the Bazaar.
but we put up signs on every porta-potty and bar.

We walked to the computer and checked for lost "heads".
Not registered for two days. Oh Dread!

"For six months I sewed it not minding the cost,
I go to 'will-call' and now my 'head's' lost."

At my very lowest point of the day,
neighbor Nancikins played Joni and fed me a latte.

Renewed, I resolved that come morning time,
no matter what, my " head" would be mine.

On day three, hell-bent, to center camp I walked.
Their address was clear on the other side of the clock.

But a super Norwegian on an "Engine That Could" scooter,
agreed to take me. He couldn't have been cuter.

"Make way for Mama Sharon" he'd shout on the way.
If he only knew the gift he gave me that day.

Our truck, my "head", our bikes, our water,
back just in time, it couldn't have been hotter.

But just when I thought I had no reason to curse,
I reached down and found I was missing my purse.

In a change purse I'd packed my bank card, you see,
cash to get home, and, of course, my I.D.

Did I mention that before we came our "manly man" quit?
"I can't take all that heat, dust and sh--!"

Thus leaving head, garage and rebar and no muscles or guy,
I just bowed my head and started to cry.

"I'm just one person, I can't get it done!"
"My heart is willing..." And then came the "one".

A great guy from Surry, now lives in Vancouver,
sparked us to action. Boy! What a mover!

Before we knew it the head was on the hood.
Others joined in, "Hey, This is good!"

The garage went up. The "skin" went over the roof.
You can get help on the Playa, I have the proof.

So we got to play in our Bizarre Bazaar.
Gifted clothes to girls who aren't and girls who are.

But still the problem of how to get home.
Had funds in the bank. Had service on an ATT phone.

"Wire me money, I'm stranded you see."
"Sorry. We know your voice, but you'll need an I.D.

After four more days of "Oh, God!" and "Oh, F---!"
The purse was found buried deep in the Budget Truck!

I survived the trials! I passed the initiation.
I've stretched the limits of my imagination.

The Playa is rough and sometimes not nice.
Only carry cash for coffee or ice.

And for sanity's sake, when given the address of a space,
WRITE IT DOWN! It's a great big place!

And if at times you might get blue,
just remember the gifts that have been given to you.

For Burning Man's a special place,
and though our visit wasn't easy,
it was a glittering moment in time and space,
and there's no place else I'd rather be.

Well done, Mamasharon -- the adventure and the saga!

[jkisha]

An alternate format:

Katie's turning twenty-one. "What do you want to do?"
"Take me to Burning Man, Mom, before I turn twenty-two."

Figured if you're going to do it, you might as well do it right,
so I sewed a dragon, all day and night.

For six months I sewed a diamond dragon skin
big enough to hide a motor home in.

My husband loved me, I decided,
while a ten-foot dragon head resided.

Got everything done. We're packed to go,
but our head-carrying truck took three hours to show.

Since we'd already agreed they could be four hours late,
this delayed us seven hours getting out of the gate.

Finally got to the Playa. The line was a fright.
By the time we got through it was the dead of the night.

Our truck told us their address, "Something and J".
In our Newbie minds the rest "went away".

For hours we searched for our Budget truck.
Exhausted, I parked, sleep deprived, out of luck.

"Can we sleep here?" "Yes, you're allowed."
But the guy in fur boots said. "It's going to be loud."

Loud ain't the word. Motor home shaking. Oy vay!
In the morning we migrated to 2:30 and J.

In the A.M. we realized the truck also had our bikes,
most of our supplies, and our water. Yikes!

Not to be daunted we set up the Bazaar.
but we put up signs on every porta-potty and bar.

We walked to the computer and checked for lost "heads".
Not registered for two days. Oh Dread!

"For six months I sewed it not minding the cost,
I go to 'will-call' and now my 'head's' lost."

At my very lowest point of the day,
neighbor Nancikins played Joni and fed me a latte.

Renewed, I resolved that come morning time,
no matter what, my " head" would be mine.

On day three, hell-bent, to center camp I walked.
Their address was clear on the other side of the clock.

But a super Norwegian on an "Engine That Could" scooter,
agreed to take me. He couldn't have been cuter.

"Make way for Mama Sharon" he'd shout on the way.
If he only knew the gift he gave me that day.

Our truck, my "head", our bikes, our water,
back just in time, it couldn't have been hotter.

But just when I thought I had no reason to curse,
I reached down and found I was missing my purse.

In a change purse I'd packed my bank card, you see,
cash to get home, and, of course, my I.D.

Did I mention that before we came our "manly man" quit?
"I can't take all that heat, dust and sh--!"

Thus leaving head, garage and rebar and no muscles or guy,
I just bowed my head and started to cry.

"I'm just one person, I can't get it done!"
"My heart is willing..." And then came the "one".

A great guy from Surry, now lives in Vancouver,
sparked us to action. Boy! What a mover!

Before we knew it the head was on the hood.
Others joined in, "Hey, This is good!"

The garage went up. The "skin" went over the roof.
You can get help on the Playa, I have the proof.

So we got to play in our Bizarre Bazaar.
Gifted clothes to girls who aren't and girls who are.

But still the problem of how to get home.
Had funds in the bank. Had service on an ATT phone.

"Wire me money, I'm stranded you see."
"Sorry. We know your voice, but you'll need an I.D.

After four more days of "Oh, God!" and "Oh, F---!"
The purse was found buried deep in the Budget Truck!

I survived the trials! I passed the initiation.
I've stretched the limits of my imagination.

The Playa is rough and sometimes not nice.
Only carry cash for coffee or ice.

And for sanity's sake, when given the address of a space,
WRITE IT DOWN! It's a great big place!

And if at times you might get blue,
just remember the gifts that have been given to you.

For Burning Man's a special place,
and though our visit wasn't easy,
it was a glittering moment in time and space,
and there's no place else I'd rather be.

Well done, Mamasharon -- the adventure and the saga!

Much better!

[catinthefunnyhat]

I actually kind of liked that it was posted wall-of-text style at first. I started reading it as straight prose -- and, like everyone else, I was annoyed at the lack of paragraphs -- and then clued in to the rhyme scheme about halfway through. I think I actually started picking up the rhythm first, but it was the rhyme that really hit me over the head with "It's a poem, dummy!" Not having the author prepare me for that with visible line breaks, and getting to discover it myself, was pretty fun.

I contemplated putting in the line breaks for her (as I eventually did), but I left it in wall-of-text format, because I figured mamasharon had typed it like that on purpose and that she wanted people to stumble upon the poem in it, as I had. I changed my mind today after reading her frustration at not knowing how to do line breaks on the computer.

I kind of suspect the poem is meant to be divided into four-line stanzas, with an a-b-c-b rhyme scheme, ballad-style (am I right, mms?), but I wasn't confident in my ability to get the line breaks right. The rhythm in my head when I'm reading this might not be the same as the one in mamasharon's head when she wrote it. So I stuck with rhyming couplets -- simpler, and less likely to annoy the OP by getting it wrong. Mamasharon, I hope you don't mind me doing it this way. I think it might be fun to hear you perform this epic at BM!

[Drawingablank]

Hey junglesmacks, Virgin to computers too. Teach a gal to fish!!! These things don't work like typewriters!! But then again, why should I have to conform to stanzas anyway?
.

First, great story. I enjoyed it a lot once I decided to brave that solid block of text.

Second, computer input is pretty much designed to emulate a typewriter. The enter key is essentially a carriage return.

Third, non conformity is a good thing - except when it comes to communicating. There is a reason why newspapers all use the same basic format (essentially headlines, columns, paragraphs, sentences) - it makes them easier to read.

[Bob]

Hey, the first CPM and DOS word processing apps required manually entering code to create paragraphs, not so long ago.

[ygmir]

Hey, the first CPM and DOS word processing apps required manually entering code to create paragraphs, not so long ago.

my first computer (well only) class, was on punch cards.

[Bob]

Me too, plus I once built a bridge out of 300 punch cards and a roll of masking tape, that spanned two feet and held 125 lbs.

[jkisha]

Me too. And I remember buying computer processing time by the minute.

[mamasharon]

Catinthefunnyhat got it the way it was originally written. Thanks. Maybe more will feel comfortable reading it now. As an English teacher's daughter I know how to do it right, which is why I find all this format stuff funny from such a "liberated" crowd, but as I said, I am only slightly more than computer illiterate so couldn't make the darn thing do what I wanted. Thanks to Savannah for teaching a gal how to fish. By the way, I'm resurrecting the dragon for 2012, and bringing my own "head" this time, even if I have to tie on on the roof. Also shopping for all the best in Playa attire for our Bizarre Bazaar. Come visit the Dragon Wagon and shop! Glad the format deal at least got everyone reading so the laugh can spread. Oh, and to clear up the confusion over names, look to the stars is the 22 year-old, mamasharon is the mama (sixty this year and burnin' strong).
Mama

[motskyroonmatick]

I poem style right off the bat and the wall of text did not bother me. I liked that the poem was hidden in a manner.

[Savannah]

I poem style right off the bat and the wall of text did not bother me. I liked that the poem was hidden in a manner.

That is pretty great.

[graidawg]

I liked the hidden poem too, but it was jolly nice seeing it adjusted so landlubbers could read it without feeling nauseus.

[mamasharon]

Shiver me timbers Laddie, I didna mean to drown you in a sea of words.

[mamasharon]

And thanks to Samantha I now know how to do paragraphs! So easy when you know how. You're my hero, Sam. Working on the dragon skin again for this year. Had to cut it apart to wash it after last year. (Causing major he washer repair bill. Too many pins and sequins in the works.) Now it has to be all sewn together again. Unfortunately when we cut it the ends of where the diamonds had been basted on to the material, the threads all came undone when I washed it. Much repair and resewing goin' on! Hoping for good weather this week-end to get it all stretched out on the front lawn so it can be all sewn back together. Hope you all are gettin' goin' on your plans! Thinking of changing the Dragon Wagon to the Shaggin' Dragon for Fertility 2.0. What do you think??

[Super Evil Brian]

Hey junglesmacks, Virgin to computers too. Teach a gal to fish!!! These things don't work like typewriters!! But then again, why should I have to conform to stanzas anyway?
.

Actually, a qwerty keyboard works just like a typewriter. The carriage returns make it easier to read and helps control the flow of the words.

Oh, whatever.

Welcome to ePlaya, where you'll find everything you need to know about Associated Press style, copyediting, photojournalism, jelly dongs shot through potato cannons and all sorts of other things.

See you in the dust, hopefully your dragon also.

[mamasharon]

Come see us in the burbs. We're shooting for 2:30 and J, provided the dragon can land there.

[fritz]

Hey Mama Sharon, I remember you!

I was passing by with my friend when you jumped out into the road and asked us for help. We said yes without understanding what our task was going to be. We helped put the dragon skin on and straightened out the spine. I was very impressed with the amount of year round commitment you must have put into creating the dragon. Seeing the excitement and joy on your face as your creation came together was definitely one of my personal highlights last year. I love that you are bringing your enthusiasm back for a second year!