How to approach an asshole

[Mojojita]

I'm with Figjam on this. Tell him that you have become aware that many people who attempt to scalp their tickets are losing them. Being a burgin, he doesn't yet get why scalping is so taboo - and he may never get it.

[BBadger]

He shouldn't go! I've always felt that people who choose to host their weddings in super inconvenient, exotic places like New Zealand or Hawaii (like my cousin) or wherever really don't deserve to have anybody attending those weddings because of the huge burden they place on everyone else. They can have a separate reception locally if they want to do that.

you need to be making a whole lot more money

Burden isn't solely a function of money.

[Dr Helix]

But ask yourself this; would you care as much if he ends up selling them to someone you don't know?

I dunno, Helix, the issue there is that the unknown person who buys then becomes the the "shining" example of "frat boy, plug and play" burner.

I wouldn't disagree. But it still comes down to what his friend wants to do for himself. As I said, if the OP chooses to end the friendship based on his friend's decision that's his right too. But none of us are in a position to judge really. There is too much we don't know. This board sets the bar pretty high and I like that. We tend to rip into people who we we have no immediate relationship with when we see a percieved injustice. Hell I've done it myself. But when it comes down to two friends sorting things out, I tend to back away and let them figure it out. Again, one man's opinion here.

[BBadger]

I wouldn't disagree. But it still comes down to what his friend wants to do for himself. As I said, if the OP chooses to end the friendship based on his friend's decision that's his right too. But none of us are in a position to judge really. There is too much we don't know. This board sets the bar pretty high and I like that. We tend to rip into people who we we have no immediate relationship with when we see a percieved injustice. Hell I've done it myself. But when it comes down to two friends sorting things out, I tend to back away and let them figure it out. Again, one man's opinion here.

No, that's not right. Clearly Remi finds this issue troubling enough to bring it up with relative strangers on a messageboard. We were directly asked to judge and provide advice on how to assess the situation by the OP. Ultimately, it is up to Remi to decide how to handle all this, but to say this is a "hands-off issue" is quite frankly missing the point of this forum topic.

[Dr Helix]

I wouldn't disagree. But it still comes down to what his friend wants to do for himself. As I said, if the OP chooses to end the friendship based on his friend's decision that's his right too. But none of us are in a position to judge really. There is too much we don't know. This board sets the bar pretty high and I like that. We tend to rip into people who we we have no immediate relationship with when we see a percieved injustice. Hell I've done it myself. But when it comes down to two friends sorting things out, I tend to back away and let them figure it out. Again, one man's opinion here.

No, that's not right. Clearly Remi finds this issue troubling enough to bring it up with relative strangers on a messageboard. We were directly asked to judge and provide advice on how to assess the situation by the OP. Ultimately, it is up to Remi to decide how to handle all this, but to say this is a "hands-off issue" is quite frankly missing the point of this forum topic.

Again, agreed. I only said I would back away. The rest of you can have at it.

[junglesmacks]

Wait.. I thought we all had this down pat? How to approach an asshole?? Easy.








"Hey there, welcome to eplaya!"

[tummler]

It's probably going to be an awkward conversation, but go for it, anyway. If it were me, I'd go for open and direct, rather than hints or sideways. Maybe you can manage to say the words "best practice" or "standard protocol" without gagging on the biz-speak, but if not, you can outline what they are.

I agree with Dr. Helix that you're not his moral compass. Yet, it bothers your morals deeply enough to say and do something. So can you go ahead and use those "I" statements they always say are best practice? You know, "The Burning Man spirit means a lot to me, so when I hear you say that you will be selling the tickets for double the price you paid, I want to share what I know about the Org's position on resale of tickets."

Ugh. Never mind an awkward conversation! Awkward and dorky. A nice dorkward conversation. FWIW.

(wanders off to do some self-observation on own communication style)

[calirobert]

Tell him to sell his tickets back to burning man so they can be resold in the step program. I am queue at 12:18:24. The steppers will greatly appreciate him. Will do a dust dance in his honor!

[jkisha]

He shouldn't go! I've always felt that people who choose to host their weddings in super inconvenient, exotic places like New Zealand or Hawaii (like my cousin) or wherever really don't deserve to have anybody attending those weddings because of the huge burden they place on everyone else. They can have a separate reception locally if they want to do that.

you need to be making a whole lot more money

Burden isn't solely a function of money.

Mostly, it is.

[junglesmacks]

He shouldn't go! I've always felt that people who choose to host their weddings in super inconvenient, exotic places like New Zealand or Hawaii (like my cousin) or wherever really don't deserve to have anybody attending those weddings because of the huge burden they place on everyone else. They can have a separate reception locally if they want to do that.

you need to be making a whole lot more money

Wait wait.

Care to explain that retort, JK? I'm honestly curious.

[FIGJAM]

Are we trying to stop scalping, or only if it's not "our friend" doing it!

[jkisha]

He shouldn't go! I've always felt that people who choose to host their weddings in super inconvenient, exotic places like New Zealand or Hawaii (like my cousin) or wherever really don't deserve to have anybody attending those weddings because of the huge burden they place on everyone else. They can have a separate reception locally if they want to do that.

you need to be making a whole lot more money

Wait wait.

Care to explain that retort, JK? I'm honestly curious.

I'm just saying that a lot of "inconvenience" is mitigated when you have lots of money. But you dont have to take my word for it, just ask Ann Romney.

[junglesmacks]

Agreed.





Love ya. Was just curious.

[BBadger]

I'm just saying that a lot of "inconvenience" is mitigated when you have lots of money. But you dont have to take my word for it, just ask Ann Romney.

I'm finding lately that while time is money, quite often the reverse is not true.

[jkisha]

I'm just saying that a lot of "inconvenience" is mitigated when you have lots of money. But you dont have to take my word for it, just ask Ann Romney.

I'm finding lately that while time is money, quite often the reverse is not true.

Yup. That's the point when you start making enough money to be rich, but not yet enough to be wealthy. Once you're truly wealthy, you have all the time in the world. And you can ask Mitt Romney about that...he's been unemployed for several years now and look at all the time he has to waste.

[BBadger]

Oh how bitter we sound.

[Minxy]

I'd do a combination of what people already stated.

While I do like the idea of talking about Burner culture and how people are upset about scalpers this year, it feels a little passive aggressive to me and I'd prefer to address it directly. I would ask to buy his tickets and how much he wants for them and go from there. I wouldn't mention your other friend told you he was overcharging.

If he asks a over face value price, I'd explain to him how it isn't appropriate, point him to some threads (not this one) to give him some information. If he still insists on making money on the tickets I'd have no qualms about turning him in. It's not being mean, it's a logical consequence to his actions. I wouldn't be angry about it; he does have the right to do what he wants, but you also have the right to do what you feel is appropriate.

IMO!

[jkisha]

Oh how bitter we sound.

If you think we sound bitter, it's time for for us to have our hearing checked.

[Drawingablank]

If he's a friend why not just have a real unscripted dialog with him about it.

Personally I would skip pointing out the party line, scalping policy, best practice, forum threads, and all the jargon and just let him know that I was dissappointed that he thinks so little of the burner culture (that both you and him are a part of) that he would actually scalp tickets.

Friend or not, he probably will be more resistant if you try to lecture or educate him.

Beyond that it comes down to deciding if your friendship is worth accepting his decision or not.

[jkisha]

If he's a friend why not just have a real unscripted dialog with him about it.

Personally I would skip pointing out the party line, scalping policy, best practice, forum threads, and all the jargon and just let him know that I was dissappointed that he thinks so little of the burner culture (that both you and him are a part of) that he would actually scalp tickets.

Friend or not, he probably will be more resistant if you try to lecture or educate him.

Beyond that it comes down to deciding if your friendship is worth accepting his decision or not.

+1

[remi]

If he's a friend why not just have a real unscripted dialog with him about it.

Personally I would skip pointing out the party line, scalping policy, best practice, forum threads, and all the jargon and just let him know that I was dissappointed that he thinks so little of the burner culture (that both you and him are a part of) that he would actually scalp tickets.

Friend or not, he probably will be more resistant if you try to lecture or educate him.

Beyond that it comes down to deciding if your friendship is worth accepting his decision or not.

Thanks for the Input db... This sounds like a really good approach.

[Drawingablank]

Well, I'm not normally known for being the voice of reason but tempers seem to flare on discussions of scalping.

[theCryptofishist]

I have no idea what you're talking about, asshole.

[theCryptofishist]

And right off, I will say that was a joke and I hope it did not in anyway offend you, drawingablank, or anyone else reading this thread.

[Minxy]

I have no idea what you're talking about, asshole.

HAHAHAHAHA...oh god, that got me. Thanks, Fishy, I sprayed water EVERYWHERE. I needed that.

[wedeliver]

Interesting thread, thought I would add my experience from last year. "Friends", people who live near me, who I talked into coming to BM a 3 years ago they were virgins.. last year he called me and said he had a $370.00 ticket and could I sell it for him. I tried, the posts are there and I almost did sell, it. But since no one was able to make it here to get the ticket I told him I would buy it. He came here, I filled up his crew with water, loaned them a 50 gallon drum and then he handed me the ticket. It said something like $240.00 on it. I asked him what he was doing? I mean fuck, someone might have driven a few hundred miles here on my word and then found out that he was asking for more then what he had paid. So, that kinda bothered me an instead of trying to work it out I just handed him the ticket back, said I couldn't afford it, thanks anyway, let him borrow my 50 gallon water jug and just went inside and cried for the next week, I am such a baby... but for the couple seconds that I had that ticket in my hand......oh well.

[Drawingablank]

I have no idea what you're talking about, asshole.

I almost fell off my chair laughing.

[Dr. Pyro]

Interesting thread, thought I would add my experience from last year. "Friends", people who live near me, who I talked into coming to BM a 3 years ago they were virgins.. last year he called me and said he had a $370.00 ticket and could I sell it for him. I tried, the posts are there and I almost did sell, it. But since no one was able to make it here to get the ticket I told him I would buy it. He came here, I filled up his crew with water, loaned them a 50 gallon drum and then he handed me the ticket. It said something like $240.00 on it. I asked him what he was doing? I mean fuck, someone might have driven a few hundred miles here on my word and then found out that he was asking for more then what he had paid. So, that kinda bothered me an instead of trying to work it out I just handed him the ticket back, said I couldn't afford it, thanks anyway, let him borrow my 50 gallon water jug and just went inside and cried for the next week, I am such a baby... but for the couple seconds that I had that ticket in my hand......oh well.

I had a similar experience. Last year we had, as TTITD approached, three or four tickets to find a home. Regardless of the face value of the ticket, our average price was something like $300 per. Some were more, some less, but it was impossible to differentiate them because they were purchased at a set average price. So some people paid $300 for a $340 ticket, some paid $300 for a $260 ticket. But in the end it all was the same. So simply because there's a price listed on the ticket doesn't in and of itself mean that's what that ticket actually cost. Nobody seemed to care one way or the other, they got a fair price and knew nobody was profiting from the transaction. You may have overreacted.

[Simon of the Playa]

sue the bastard

[jkisha]

sue the bastard

Rediculous. I can't believe the company caved on this.