tell me a story

[FIGJAM]

right after yoga they had OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMlets made with the remnents of the chilies for willies costumes, then.........

[OnceTheDustClears]

...severely under slept Burners began following the wonderful coffee smell and formed a very long line, mugs in hand.
Small talk ensued about important things like meteor showers, local politics, and the Burning Man ticket debacle.
It seemed to be a serious moment when the tall, shirt cocking individual at the front of the line turned to face the
crowd and solemnly announced...

[maryanimal]

...can anybody spare a dime? As he looked over the crowd, a voice from the end of the line stood up and said...

[International Incident]

Where would you put it... you don't have any pockets

[ygmir]

to which he replied:
silly, I meant a roll of dimes.for that, I need no pockets.
With that statement, he launched into a cheer leading routine, the likes of which, had never been seen. He frolicked too and fro, jumped, bounced, flipped and slithered, contorted and muscled...... and never, never lost his dimes!!!
As the crowd grew, and folks gasped at his super human antics, a sudden silence came over the audience..........and, a chant started, some one had recognized him, someone, had seen him on the playa, and knew who he was.

They chanted, first in a whisper, one to the next, then, as the fervor built, it became a siren call,
they chanted his name, the name we all know, love and admire. They yelled even:

"S.....................

[OnceTheDustClears]

Sir Secretpocket! What else ya got in there?

[moonrise]

More secrets....but I'm willing to share. First we must walk through the tunnel...

[maryanimal]

...so like a herd of lemmings, the group of thousands followed the bearded deity through the tunnel. The tunnel was long, and the further they traveled, the less light luminated the tunnel. The man stopped in his trackes, turned around slowly, raised his arms up and declared...

[Mojojita]

Wow, I smell really bad. He was so repulsed that he.....

[maryanimal]

...asked if anyone bad any body wipes. and with that, all the people, one by one, in pairs, completely cleaned him from head to toe, every crack and crevass, not a spot was missed. He was so overcome with joy, he...

[Onion]

immediately started crying tears of lemonade. And since the cleaning crew was so thirsty, they lapped it up like kittens sucking at a milk soaked rag. They had nearly quenched their thirst when, with a resounding !!!WHOMP!!!, out of the sky came...

[FIGJAM]

raining 20,000 burgins!!!!!!!!!!

The vets were wearing their helmets in preperation for this event and they picked the burgins up and gently told them to "walk toward the light" at which point the burgins started shuffling off in all directions, since there were lights everywhere, mumbling.......

[Onion]

about having to go pick up the kids and the dog from the kennel, and having to fill up the fuel tanks in their oversized mutant vehicles, and leaving a trail of MOOP that stretched all the way to...

[moonrise]

the begining of their trail of MOOP as they picked it all up in the strong dusty winds coming and going in both directions......

[Sail Man]

were a pair of greyhound buses (or at least what appeared to be as their names had been covered hastily with fake grass skirting). Inside, with their faces pressed against the windows, were senior citizens from the senior center in Nantucket, RI, looking like they were on a road trip to the local casino, resplendent in their seer sucker suits and over sized sun glasses, they were instead headed for a "tour" of a theme camp, the nefarious....

[maryanimal]

...Barbie Death Camp and Wine Bistro. They had heard of the food buffet, the free flowing booze, and the handsome, sexy Doc Pyro. Each lady had applied there makeup carefully, dusted themselves with scented body powder, and slicked their puckered lips with gloss. When they exitied the bus, they saw the the pulchritudinous, libidinous, Cassanova known as Doc Pyro. He stool tall and masculine, wearing a velvet, knee-length robe, a glint is his beguiling brown eyes, and a glass of sparkling wine in the other. His arm rose slightly, as if to make a toast, he look over at the ladies and said...

[Sail Man]

"Depends! Which one of you has my order of depends?" For the good Doctor had grown weary of seeking out the blue palaces when he was on a walkabout of the playa late at night, sufficiently filled with intoxicating beverages and knew, full well, that a good pair of depends would stretch his cavorting further into the night. but alas, the last of the depends were being used (one apparently at that moment) yet, as a tear began to form in the corner of his eyes, one of the ladies piped up and said....

[maryanimal]

no worries baby! All the women parted like the Red Sea, and a bevy of beauties, stunning and sparkly, walked to Doc P. and one by one kissed his warm, supple lips. With a woman on each arm and the rest beside him, he turned towards his infamous RV saying...

[Onion]

"Ladies!, please stay calm. It will only take at most like twenty of you to deal with what I've been carrying around in here." And with that, he reached into his soiled disposable undergarments and pulled out a big...

[maryanimal]

..surprize no one ever expected! The girls swooned when they all saw what he'd been hiding! One by one as they stood in line, they got on their knees and...

[ygmir]

began to pray.........for, Doc had brought forth, as his surprise a genuine crucifix, and began chanting in Latin. He then ripped off his black cape, to expose himself and his white robes.....donning his Pope hat..........it turned out, he was channeling our very own "German Shepard" and with that, began his sermon.............but, a few minutes into said oration, his head split wide open, and who should be revealed, and having hidden himself in an "Ed Gein inspired" costume but:



yes ,yes, it was Jimmy Swaggart!!
he began speaking in tongues, he cussed, he spit........he even started to cry:


because, as he sermonized (not waxing a car), and had gone into his holy trance and given sacrosanct words and proclamation, who had appeared, from the crowd, slowly walking toward him, determination written all over his face..........and holding a bottle of vodka with "BRC" on the label, but the one, the only savior, and denizen of Eplaya.............

[Triken]

(holding my breath...)


*making popcorn*

[ygmir]

(holding my breath...)


*making popcorn*

*pulls a chair up next to Triken*

[Bay Bridge Sue]

...yours truly. Knocking the ice off the cap, and handing it to Billy, bb put her arms around him, said, "Here here, you're suffering from Vodka and Bacon Withdrawls"... Pulling some freshly fried and crispy bacon (still hot from the cast iron) from her ever-present mitt, and spinning the top off the bottle, she poured a healthy slug down his throat, and stuffed the bacon in afterwards, forcing him to consume the playafied treats and restoring his soul...

"What... happened?" said the stunned, but recovering Doc, as he unzipped yet another layer, and re-emerged as himself, standing in his naked glory to the admiraton of the shocked throngs of burgins, shirtcockers, and yahoos who had gathered at the sermonizing spectacle. "And who are these people?" Spying Ygmir sitting apart from the crowd, she turned to him, asking him to please watch over Doc, and as she turned the now smiling doc over to the care of one of the playa saviors, she fanizhed into the duststorm as suddenly as she appeared.

Yggie and Triken grabbed Doc by an arm, and guided him over by the piano at the Wine Bistro, and...

[Triken]

...sat him down to play.

"Oh!! (ahem)", whispered Doc, almost indiscernibly self-conscious..

From somewhere in the (otherwise silent) crowd came
an anonymous, "Make us dance, Doc!"

Whereupon......

[ygmir]

he once again, peeled off, what had looked like the "real nude Doc" (save for the overendowment),
and appeared as:



yes, Liberace..........
he played wonderful tunes.........waltz, polka, the tango.........and as he was playing a tango, who should appear on stage but the famous, generous and very adept, Shambala.......fresh from his French tango dance tour..........
The crowd hushed...........for they knew, he had won the French tango tour with honors.
He seemed, somewhat confused though............but true to form, he agreed, to one last dance.
So, the music began, Shambala, in all his finery, produced a cube of butter and asked:
Am I still in Paris?
The audience spontaneously..................

[Sail Man]

Leapt to their feet and began to dance, but just any dance, Riverdance!



But this was a special Riverdance. boy girl, boy girl, boy girl, they danced as pairs, intertwined, copulating as they dance, in a frenzied thrust of mindless pleasure.

And Liberace/Doc watched over them, enthralled, feeling yearnings of his own and motioned Triken back over to him. "Here, Triken, sit on the piano with me" he uttered in a throaty growl, and slowly with his hand......

[Triken]

Ummmmm.... popcorn, anyone?

[Triken]

Piano 2.jpg (6.06 KiB) Viewed 1364 times

[delle]

...reached over and clicked the remote to activate the camera.

"There" he smiled. "That should