tell me a story

[burner von braun]

..appear on-screen,

well, that is until the eplaya upgrade, where upon there were no more youtube Saturday morning cartoons..

*pout*


The Smurfs all ran off to do their little fancy-schmanchy feature film (coming soon to sponge off of a theater near you), meanwhile, to the delight of all, YouTube was brought back online, and all was well until..

[FIGJAM]

there was a mysterious bump, bump. bump....

[AntiM]

... on his hump hump hump.

[maryanimal]

...and it tickled so much, it made him jump jump jump

[ygmir]

and, he jumped so high, he found himself, face to face with Zardoz!!!

who, exclaimed:

"My master, says you're all Fuckos"..............

now, this led to great consternation, concern, and a quandary, in that, no one knew, who his master was............well , someone knows..........

[maryanimal]

...riding over the hilltop on their swift and trusty steeds two figures of men stood, this their swords thrust high over their heads was, Sir Loin of Beef, and Sir Osis of the Liver. They sat on their mighty horses, staring at Zardoz and said...

[ygmir]

[OnceTheDustClears]

"Sir Osis, do you really think this ticket looks real? I have worked long and hard crafting it as closely as possible to the real thing as alas, I did not purchase mine in a timely manner. And I so want to ride my steed swiftly across the playa, Lady Godiva style, kicking up dust and breathing fire."

"Well good sir, I'm afraid despite your efforts, that remnant in your hand looks more like a..."

[FIGJAM]

Ticket to a Barry Manilow concert.

Where are the flames, the Man, the city of circle?

For your effort you deserve no more than a dope slap and.............

[OnceTheDustClears]

...bend over to receive your ...

[ygmir]

Kiss from the midget king!!!


and so, Sir Osis, obeyed, and did thence bend over, and receive said smacker........and oh, what a smaker it was!!!!
I leapt for joy, but of course, Joy was just out of reach, so, he fell upon............

[OnceTheDustClears]

...hard times. Now Mr. Times was a well known...

[FIGJAM]

..as a microskirt nurgler, but in his spare time, when he was'nt suffering from lurgi, he practiced seductive caucasion knee dancing on.....

[ygmir]

......his elbows. Because, as we all know, his being afflicted with "cranio-rectal inversion" created a situation, wherein he couldn't tell his knees from his elbows.
Fortunately, this syndrome, made him uniquely qualified, to run for public office. In fact a national post.
As he pondered, and consulted with professionals as to where he would fit best, he discovered his calling, in Washington D.C. was..............

[OnceTheDustClears]

...anyone who would sit still long enough. It was a dying art although he was able to find a small community of like minded souls who also...

[Bin Noddin]

. . . liked caraway seeds in their sauerkraut. While picking the seeds out of his teeth, it occurred to him that . . .

[Triken]

"Hey!! what the....

This ain't no reggler caraway seed!!"

[maryanimal]

He looked at the seed with a curious look on his face. It was big and round and oozed...

[bigdane]

a sticky sweet goo. It reminded him of holidays at his...

[maryanimal]

...great-gramma Velda's. She was the one with the missing...

[bigdane]

...ebleskiver pan, a sore topic at the holiday table and, honestly, any time Auntie Ree and Billy-Billy were around as she had always...

[OnceTheDustClears]

...fed the little fellas one precious caraway seed each. This went on as a special holiday tradition each year until one year they discovered that the seeds actually came from...

[ygmir]

the 7th planet from the sun.........and so, well, it seemed a little "off".........but, everyone still wondered, how she got them delivered.
One night, high on Geritol and, vitamin B12, she began the tale.........

[BBadger]

... of woe, deceit, and hedonistic debauchery involving a secret compact made with a well-hung, lesser demon. This compact cost the damnation of an entire village, but its rewards were great, and so were the ...

[OnceTheDustClears]

...lessons she learned from the well hung demon. She flushed with anticipation as she began her story. No one knew for sure if it was the hit off the cough syrup bottle or just the giddy school girl excitement that caused her to swoon as she offered up some of the long held family secrets. It seems that Auntie Ree was not really their Auntie after all. And that so called Demon was...

[Sail Man]

A politician from New York City. Harlem to be exact. Were he oft availed the help from his friends in "The Family" to secure votes, and his continued patronage. And he promised them, ............

[maryanimal]

...that all the stories that became public were all unfounded lies. The corner of the Demon's mouth curled up in an evil grin, when suddenly...

[Sail Man]

he pooped his pants. A look of dismay crept across his face, as an aroma not unlike...........

[Triken]

...caraway seeds, emanated from his nether regions...

Kinda reminded him of...

[OnceTheDustClears]

...that balmy night out on the playa, near the trash fence, where by the light of the moon, he consummated his love with...