I really want a dirty martini...right now!

[jkisha]

Saber rattling!? I thought I was being quite reserved.

BTW I'm not a big fan of AA either, for many of the reasons you cite. But it works for some--and it doesn't for others. My problem with your post is your misunderstanding of addiction. If your assumption about addiction were true, taken to it's logical conclusion one could say if you had cancer, you could just will it away because you are so powerful. Which, I'm sure you would admit, is absurd.

[Ugly Dougly]

You don't have to believe in the Easter Bunny to enjoy the chocolate.

The universe is a fucking mystery, nobody knows where it came from or why we're here. Things go a lot easier when you stop pretending that you know everything.

[jkisha]

Yup, and the tides go in and the tides go out. Ya just can't explain it. God only knows.

[Sic Pup]

Yup, and the tides go in and the tides go out. Ya just can't explain it. God only knows.

Given his proximity to the moon I can see why.

A desperate attempt to inject humor and cuteness into the thread:

I kinda liked the "No, you didn't" but I'm partial.

[Elorrum]

Yeah, props for "no you didn't" cat's cute too.

[unjonharley]

Saber rattling!? I thought I was being quite reserved.

BTW I'm not a big fan of AA either, for many of the reasons you cite. But it works for some--and it doesn't for others. My problem with your post is your misunderstanding of addiction. If your assumption about addiction were true, taken to it's logical conclusion one could say if you had cancer, you could just will it away because you are so powerful. Which, I'm sure you would admit, is absurd.

I have always said "AA dose not work for any one". AA is a suggested way of living life.. It was put together by a group of people that explains (in a book) how they used this plan to escape "there" addict and lead a better life for them self..

You went into a store.. You looked around.. Some of the clerks were fucked up.. You didn't find what you wanted..So you bad mouth the whole store..

You go into a store for a new coat.. You get a new coat.
You go into a store for shit.. You get shit..

[MOOP_Nazi]

You don't have to believe in the Easter Bunny to enjoy the chocolate.

The universe is a fucking mystery, nobody knows where it came from or why we're here. Things go a lot easier when you stop pretending that you know everything.

Back the fuck up...

What do you mean "You don't have to believe in the Easter Bunny"?

Are you implying something?

[TomServo]

If it were up to me, I'd simply not attend the AA meetings. But because it's required, at this particular house, I feel some degree of license to criticize. I didn't move here to attend AA, Ive been to AA and never really cared for it before.....but when I got here, it quickly became clear that this is an AA infused recovery home. Yes, it works wonders for some people..and I won't talk shit about those individuals or their recovery. But, when it's expected of me, to participate in something that I feel is absolute bullshit....in my personal opinion...it's hard to keep me quiet.
I see house mates using all kinds of excuses, including flaws in the program, to justify relapsing, every day. And, despite my personal animosity towards the program, thats just too weak an excuse to sneak out for a drink. Last night, a house mate went off to smoke rocks, in a car that isn't his...and he's still missing. My addiction isn't that strong, that I'd steal a car and go missing for days.
My question for today was..why am I here? Staying sober is a breeze. I just don't drink. But, rationalizing sobriety...other than the money and health issues...is a whole different question. I like the high.

[jkisha]

I like having a drink or two myself on occasion. I guess the difference is that it's not causing me any health or money issues. And more importantly, I drink to enhance other activities, not for the high in and of itself. If getting high is the motivation for drinking or using any drug, it's a sure sign you are abusing rather than using.

But this is just my opinion on the matter.

[maryanimal]

ok...being in denial of knowing you (as a general statement) have a real problem with alcohol, is a phychological issue. When you lose your job, your home, and you have no money because you (as a general statement) spend it all on alcohol, but think you're in control of your (as a general statement) drinking, is a fucking huge issue. Denial for some is so deep, they start truly believing that, "I can stop anytime I want".

My ex husband was that way. I have friends that have been/are going through that same shit. I've never been addicted to anything in my life, but I've seen my friends who've been addicts of drugs and alcohol, and some have made it out alive...a couple haven't, all because of the phrase, "I can stop anytime I want to".

And Tom, I'm so pleased that you've stayed sober and been trying to work the program. I'm sure having to deal with the religious aspect of it is hard for you. You have a lot to be proud of. Just stay sober, live your life without booze and help others who are in the same position as you. I think you'd be terrific at it!

[graidawg]

And Tom, I'm so pleased that you've stayed sober and been trying to work the program. I'm sure having to deal with the religious aspect of it is hard for you. You have a lot to be proud of. Just stay sober, live your life without booze and help others who are in the same position as you. I think you'd be terrific at it!

thats what I wanted to say to you TS so +5 MA

[Elorrum]

Staying sober is a breeze. I just don't drink. But, rationalizing sobriety...other than the money and health issues...is a whole different question. I like the high.

I'm not sure what sort of support you want here.
I miss the feeling. I totally get this. Here's something that helped me: do a little pie chart or timeline, and draw out a graphic of a 12 hr. binge. Pick one that took a turn you swore it wouldn't. How much wonderful, how much, no so much? How much you remember, how much you were perhaps messing up? using poor judgement, driving? spending money you couldn't afford to spend? getting into dangerous situations? Acting in ways you consider not consistent with how you prefer to behave? Blowing off commitments? How much could you predict? That you absolutely would not drive? This graphic was helpful to me when I was missing what I considered the good part of drinking. Seems like you need to focus on the cons here... because at some point they cannot be separated from the smaller portion that is great. Once you are a pickle, you can't be a cucumber again. Listen to those who have gone back out and tried it. You've already done something that is extremely hard. Congratulations.

[TomServo]

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become
unmanageable.
-I have admitted I was weak willed against my addiction. That my addiction often triumphed over common sense and reality.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.
- I have come to believe in the power of MY community, it’s values and practices, that give me peace of mind.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood Him.
- I have made the decision to allow my higher power to guide me in my endeavors and give me the will to exercise my thoughts and habits.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- I’ve been raised to examine my mistakes and successes, and to learn from them.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature
of our wrongs.
- I have admitted my wrongs, to myself and my peers. I have expressed an earnest desire to improve upon them.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- My higher power is guiding me through my recovery. I am learning the patterns and habits that have always led me down the wrong path.
7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
I have asked my peers for guidance, and work upon their advice.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make
amends to them all.
- Yes
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do
so would injure them or others.
I’ve been making amends to those I’ve harmed for several years, and have learned to either stop myself before harming another or promptly resolve my negative actions.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.
- see above
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.
- I am Agnostic..My higher power is not a god, however I do meditate on the principles of my higher power and seek guidance in my recovery.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to
carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.
-My higher power has given me a spiritual awakening. I have developed a closer relationship with my higher power, because of these steps.

[maryanimal]

THE TWELVE STEPS OF ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS
1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become
unmanageable.
-I have admitted I was weak willed against my addiction. That my addiction often triumphed over common sense and reality.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to
sanity.
- I have come to believe in the power of MY community, it’s values and practices, that give me peace of mind.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we
understood Him.
- I have made the decision to allow my higher power to guide me in my endeavors and give me the will to exercise my thoughts and habits.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
- I’ve been raised to examine my mistakes and successes, and to learn from them.
6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
- My higher power is guiding me through my recovery. I am learning the patterns and habits that have always led me down the wrong path.
5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature
of our wrongs.
- I have admitted my wrongs, to myself and my peers. I have expressed an earnest desire to improve upon them.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
I have asked my peers for guidance, and work upon their advice.
8.Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make
amends to them all.
- Yes
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do
so would injure them or others.
I’ve been making amends to those I’ve harmed for several years, and have learned to either stop myself before harming another or promptly resolve my negative actions.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly
admitted it.
- see above
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with
God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us
and the power to carry that out.
- I am Agnostic..My higher power is not a god, however I do meditate on the principles of my higher power and seek guidance in my recovery.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to
carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our
affairs.
-My higher power has given me a spiritual awakening. I have developed a closer relationship with my higher power, because of these steps.

[TomServo]

and your point is?

[maryanimal]

Still sarcastic I see..

[TomServo]

Still sarcastic I see..

always and forever

[maryanimal]

Some things never change Jeff...

[maryanimal]

I AM glad you're doing good.

[TomServo]

1 year sober, this week!! And I still fucking hate AA! << my personal view. I won't lie to anyone, including myself...I probably will have that Dirty Martini. But, I don't really want one right now.

[theCryptofishist]

Way to go, Tom!

[wh..sh]

1 year sober, this week!! And I still fucking hate AA! << my personal view. I won't lie to anyone, including myself...I probably will have that Dirty Martini. But, I don't really want one right now.

I remember reading this thread (and all the arguments) when I first joined eplaya.
Wow Tom! Kudos, you have come a long way since then.

[CrispyDave]

There are other ways to quit besides AA. But I'm sure the fact that your meetings in Bakersfield is a big part of the reason you don't like them. You ought to try a few meetings in West Hollywood or Beverly Hills!

I went to AA for 3 months, had to give it a try after drinking heavily for years, you know get up in the morning have a cig and a pint of Taaka Vodka to get rid of the shakes kind of drinking. That would be followed up by at quart before lunch and more to follow.....

I quit AA as it was not for me. The only thing I kept and KEEP telling myself is if I drink again even one drop Im gonna die. I know it in my core...

I am a Burgin to BM this year and have never shared this story....

Anyway keep doing what you need to stay sober, cant say it gets easier but it does get better....

BTW I'm 12 years sober as of April 11 this year 2012....

Dave

[wh..sh]

Tom and CrispyDave!

[Elorrum]

Way to go Tom, CrispyDave.

[TomServo]

Many thanx. Taking my one year chip today. My dog needs some new bling. Hope to offend as many people as possible. But thank you all, my higher power, for the encouragement.

....and I still don't want a drink.

[catinthefunnyhat]

(((TOM))) (((CrispyDave))) Congratulations to both of you!

I'd toast you with a nice, non-alcoholic drink, but I don't know what you like.
So I'll toast you with toast. In my experience, most people like toast.

[Elorrum]

bump?

Many thanx. Taking my one year chip today. My dog needs some new bling. Hope to offend as many people as possible. But thank you all, my higher power, for the encouragement.

....and I still don't want a drink.

[TomServo]

bump?

Many thanx. Taking my one year chip today. My dog needs some new bling. Hope to offend as many people as possible. But thank you all, my higher power, for the encouragement.

....and I still don't want a drink.

Fuck A.A.!

[tatonka]

Never been hooked on anything untill I had cancer and they gave me Oxy condone , after 9 mths of that they pulled it , and I went cold turkey for 6 weeks. Very misserable ,could not function

I drink about 3 beers a day , anymore I have to pee all night.