First year burner and i am obsessed. Help.

[spiralcma]

Y'all. I made it to my first burn this year, 2011. I am in my house here in SF.... been here for a week exactly now....and I am not feeling at all normal. I had such a huge, emotional, wonderful, mind blowing time out there on the playa, I am feeling quite obsessed with burning man right now. I can't get my mind off it. I do nothing but google burning man things, and look at pictures and watch videos from this year's burn... and talk about it constantly with my husband and I don't know what to do about it. I feel so inspired by the power of people's energies out there, and how amazing a society can be when everyone is giving into the middle, I felt like I got in touch with something that doesn't exist out here in the default world---and I feel horribly sad to not be at burning man anymore. Is this normal? Will the obsession subside? Am I forever ruined? I feel like I am already counting down the days until next year's burn but I'm afraid I can do little but obsess. I miss the playa magic. Help.

[Savannah]

This is normal. As your attorney, I'd advise you . . .

to geek out with local Burners by joining their mailing lists:
http://regionals.burningman.com/us_ca.html

and go to Decompression parties:
http://www.burningman.com/blackrockcity ... m2011.html

And to revel in the fact that you live in pretty much the number one Burner town on the planet that isn't actually Black Rock City.

Will your obsession subside? No one can tell you. It might not. I mean . . . look at the rest of ePlaya. Most of us are chronic. Treatable, but not curable.

[Packoderm]

If I may suggest anything at all, it might be helpful to make your default life pay off in order to make next year's burn bigger than the one you just experienced. That will accomplish two goals. First, it is a means to fulfill your current obsession by making next year's burn happen. Second, applying yourself professionally or otherwise will help establish a healthy balance between your default life and what you're feeling now. I really worked to make this past burn bigger and more awesome for our camp. You can't help but lose something the second time around, and the added effort, comfort, and the appreciation my fellow camp members gave me helped stave off a jaded, been there, done that feeling. I don't know how I'm going to survive a third year if I don't make a mutant vehicle or something.

[trilobyte]

In my opinion, it's fairly normal. Playa withdrawals happen. Yes, you're ruined for life

What Savannah said. And hey now, SF Decom is coming up on October 9th! You may also care to look up some of the more active bay area camps and groups (get on the SF regional mailing list), as they're active throughout the year. Space Cowboys, Opulent Temple, Distrikt, etc not only perform at other peoples' events, but are involved in their own shindigs and fundraisers. Even though it's not the playa, there are ample opportunities to connect with like-minded people.

I'd also recommend looking at ways to "take it off the playa" and make your daily life more creative and fun. Art projects, getting involved with causes/things you believe in, trying to be nicer or more outgoing (or whatever elements you found so magical), every little bit helps. I'm probably a bad example though, my brain's been thoroughly playafied

[theCryptofishist]

But can I get Distrikt to cut through my back yard on the way to their house?

[Trishntek]

WeLcOmE tO mY wOrLd!

[spiralcma]

I can't figure out how to reply directly - but , thank you all! I signed up for regional stuff, I am trying to figure out the ways I want to get ore involved (A LOT), I canceled my other plans for the day of the SF decompression, and.... I am going to try to bring the spirit I saw out there into my life and the business I run. I don't think I will have the FULL experience of the playa out here in the city, but I'm realizing that's ok. Chocolate cake is fucking delicious but I can't eat it for every meal, you know? Now I just have to find a theme camp that will let me join so i can work and meet people and prep for 2012.

[Milayna]

I am planning to go to my first burn in 2012, and I have to say reading posts like this make me even more excited! Spiralcma, I think it's so amazing that you got so much out of the burn this year, and obviously had such a great time

I'm hoping that my virgin experience will be even half as great as yours was!

[BBadger]

Hahaha, you'll be thinking about it all year until you're back. Make sure you get a ticket though, so it isn't two years.

[graidawg]

FUCK YOUR DAY! just fuck it's so far away and i miss it.

[RedHeaven]

I know exactly how you feel, you will get used to it and figure out how to balance it all out. The best I can do is be inspired to create and get crackin on it. I do love my default home and I love going and seeing live music (other passions up there with Burning Man) so just let BMan wash over you and inspire you to find the joys in life on a new level. A week is kind of a tease in the grand scheme, but its just enough to be THAT magical. I think any more and you would start to see underbellies of it surface. There are balancing acts and ways to take that Burning in your heart into other world. The job now is to bridge them gracefully.

I always joke "Burning man! Dont go! It will ruin your life!" letting naysayers know how rad it really is. But I dont want Bman to ruin my life anymore, it just hurts too much 7 years since my first Burn and I feel like I have it under control. My participation level grows but not everyone is going to be able to spend the whole fucking year building things for Burning man. You really gotta be in the money or just dedicate your world to it. and thats OK if YOU are OK with that! I personally cannot do that to that extreme but have my ways of adding to the city while not obsessing over it so much that it tears me away from my work and family. Being a live music junkie helps. I have that obsession to attend to. Its already a pain in the ass life fucker over wallet eater hehehehee

[DrYes]

Spiralcma - You're not the only one in that boat, if that helps! This was my second year. I spent every fucking minute from the moment I woke up after getting my first good night's sleep post-playa until smelling that sweet dust upon arriving this year. I'm not sure it's gotten any better after this year either, likely much to the chagrin of my non-Burner friends who will continue to hear me talk about it constantly for another year.

I think I probably watched every video on youtube about BM 2010 after going, and they made me feel so good I felt compelled to make one of my own this year. Now I just watch my own video over and over, remembering and wishing I could go back now, instead of an impossibly far away next year. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFeTTvDE_FE

Goddam it. Burning Man has ruined my life. In all the best ways.

[creativecstasy]

I'm so happy to hear I'm not alone in this obsessive state! I'm in the bay as well, and can't get on with my life just yet.

[goathead]

there is no cure



I lie, there is, but the side effects are really bad.

[superspatula]

if it makes you feel any better i have not even gone yet and im dysfunctionally obsessed.

i seriously heard about thing like a couple weeks ago and i am not a person who makes snap decisions or have a lifestyle where i can get up and go and do whatever i want and im already completely decided, taken off work, arranged childcare, budgeting......my trip to burning man 2012!

i fear that this will send my neurosis over the edge.

i think we all need a support group! can oprah help?

[spiralcma]

if it makes you feel any better i have not even gone yet and im dysfunctionally obsessed.

i seriously heard about thing like a couple weeks ago and i am not a person who makes snap decisions or have a lifestyle where i can get up and go and do whatever i want and im already completely decided, taken off work, arranged childcare, budgeting......my trip to burning man 2012!

i fear that this will send my neurosis over the edge.

i think we all need a support group! can oprah help?

Yay!!! The same thing happened to me this past year! I will meet you there at 2012 if for nothing more than to give you a high five

[Trishntek]

Oprah is diametrically opposed to what ails you!

[lemur]

said the hardworking DPW guy who came to deal with one of the leaking gray water tanks I was responsible for:

"I got so involved in Burning Man I can't go anymore"


indeed.

at least you aren't to that point yet...

[troubledenergy]

I feel your pain!!!

But there's always next year and in the meantime, regional stuff


hang in there.

xo,

Trouble

[B the B]

In all honesty I would be careful of your emotions. I'm no pro on the subject, being a one time burner in 2010, but I can tell you I was definately affected deeply by my experience. I needed burning man badly, having gone thru a recent divorce and loss of my Dad, who was my boss. I journeyed out from Boston solo and had some very intense, very otherworldly, and very spiritual things happen to me while out there, which is what I wanted and needed. However, maybe it's cause I'm on the east coast, maybe it's cause I was half bat shit crazy even before burning, but most likely not very many people who aren't burners are gonna understand you when you talk about it. Alot of people back east still don't even know what it is, but my friends who do, even after all my praise and expression of love for the burn, still have no real interest in going. Even if they have some interest, they are not going to take the time or spend the money. The reason I say be careful is because it actually hurts, that no one cares sometimes. Your in SF so you have a whole lot more resources available to you, but try to remember to keep the burn going everyday. I've come to realize, the sun, playa, partying, love, exposure, and art are definately a catalyst, but the real meat of the experience is the transformation, the lessons, the evolution of your soul. You can hold on to that and share it everyday without mentioning burning man or black rock city. People generally don't want to hear about what they can't comprehend. Hell the powers-that-be have known that for centuries and depend on it. But that's a whole different story... Bye the way keep us posted on your progress toward 2012, I hope to ride out once again, it would be great to touch base with another obsessed 2nd timer. I'll give you a cold beer and warm hug at the very least!

[graidawg]

STOP SAYING 2012 THATS TO DAMN FAR AWAY. I don;t know what else to say thats not worse though.

[Trishntek]

You will be assimilated,,,, RESISTANCE is FUTILE

[mgb327]

It was my first also, and I am in the same condition as the OP. I live back East where most people have never heard of Burning Man. Luckily, I shot photos for WDYDWYD? and some other stuff, so I feel "extra" connected. It was a spiritual, life-changing experience for me, already counting the days til the man burns again......

[mgb327]

After reading more here, I realize, I am fucked. Screwed. I am one. I am BORG. Resistance is Futile. Can't watch the damn videos without crying..........

[bubbavic]

Fuck. And I thought it was just me going crazy.

Not alone for sure. =)

[trilobyte]

It sounds like you're on the right track

[trilobyte]

And hang in there, mgb... Not sure exactly where 'back east' is, but there are a lot of active regional groups on the east coast. You're probably within reasonable range of at least one group that gets together a few times throughout the year.

[5280MeV]

Ok, after nearly 4 months post burn, I am ready to hop on this thread and admit obsession with Burning Man. This is a good thing - I had been too consumed with work (physics) recently, I really needed a hobby, and burning has all the ingredients I have been or should have been looking for: free artistic expression; travel, survival, and the outdoors; music, dancing, partying; lots of social interaction with interesting people; and fire.

Above all, my problem with most hobbies is that I have too much of the 'ninja' personality type - or the overwhelming need to be outrageously skilled at something in order to enjoy doing it, driven by some neurotic insecurity. Burning, while probably not immune to ninjaing, discourages it pretty well, and if I am mindful of the my own tendencies I think that I can keep the urge at bay and allow myself to be free.

I also think that American culture is particularly bad for encouraging ninja-ism as we have a tendency to turn every fun activity imaginable into a fucking competition - but maybe that is just me looking at America through ninja-colored glasses.

What initially worried me about this hobby (lifestyle?) is that it is (currently/mostly) tied to a single organization and event. When I got home from BM11, I was really worried about BM jumping the shark - that I had entered just as the whole spirit of the thing was about to fall apart, and that BRC was beginning its decline. Now I am convinced that BM always has and always will be jumping the shark, as it is hurtling above an infinite cascade of sharks towards some outrageously tacky cosmic truth. BRC11 burned to the ground and nothing like it will never happen again - both personally and collectively, but BRC12 will be fun to build.

While I am not ready for this to happen, should the unthinkable actually happen, then it is just another challenge. There are lots of deserts in the world and very few people who really care much about what goes on in most of that space. I have a lighter.

Now back to working on work and working on the packing list in the other window.

[Ugly Dougly]

Oh, you put hair over one eye and expect me to remain sane!?

[Bob]

If there's a Ninja Special Olympics (TM), this is it.