by Imagigrl » Fri Jul 30, 2004 9:03 am
...resulted in The Man accepting Jesus' challenge to rolling combat in the alley of The Vault of Heaven. Thank monkies, The Dude was there to speak on The Man's behalf. And this is how the debate went:
Jesus (Quintana): What's this day of rest shit? What's this bullshit? I don't fuckin' care! It don't matter to Jesus. But you're not foolin' me, man. You might fool the fucks in the league office, but you don't fool Jesus. This bush league psyche-out stuff. Laughable, man - ha ha! I was gonna fuck you in the ass Saturday. I fuck you in the ass [next Saturday, September 4th] instead. Wooo! You got a date [next Saturday, September 4th], baby!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Walter Sobchak: Fucking dipshit with a nine toed woman.
The Dude: Fuckin' [Jesus]... that creep can roll, man.
Walter Sobchak: Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
The Dude: Yeah.
Walter Sobchak: No, he's a sex offender. With a record. He served 6 months in Chino for exposing himself to an eight year old.
The Dude: Oh!
Walter Sobchak: When he moved to Hollywood he had to go door to door to tell everyone he was a pederast.
Donny: What's a... pederast, Walter?
Walter Sobchak: Shut the fuck up, Donny.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jesus (Quintana): You ready to be fucked man? I see you rolled your way into the semis. Dios mio, man. Liam and me, we're gonna fuck you up.
The Dude: Yeah, well, that's just, like, your opinion, [uh] man.
Jesus (Quintana): Let me tell you something, bandejo. You pull any of your crazy shit with us, you flash a piece out on the lanes, I'll take it away from you, stick it up your ass and pull the fucking trigger 'til it goes "click."
The Dude: Jesus.
Jesus (Quintana): You said it man. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Walter Sobchak: Eight year-olds, Dude.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Jesus is just alright with me, Jesus is just alright, ohhh yeah!"