i have been abandoned

[emily86]

So last year my crew and i headed into the desert. half of us were veteran burners. half were not.

we talked of reforming the group.

now. AT THE LAST MINUTE we have bailout. my partner and I have a cool group shelter. Anyways, it feels like shit when your friends just drop you like yesterday's bagels, but still talk we are best buds.

luv hurts

[manowar]

Yeah I've had similar experiences. Tried to go in 2000 and had people bail on me. Tried again last year and had 3 or 4 people bail on me last minute again. Almost called off going again, glad I didn't. So are you looking to form a camp, join something or just venting a little?

[antron]

i had half the people who said they'd come bail with about six weeks to go before the burn, and then a few more who joined up just a couple of weeks before. i had a blast with those that came.

i'll not invite those that bailed again.

[diane o'thirst]

Give thanks that it happened to you now, in June. Instead of, say, the second week of August (like what happened to me in 2000).

Or the day before I left for the Playa (like what happened to me in '98).

At least you have time to scramble and salvage something from the wreckage and still pull off a halfway-decent camp. I have a magnet on my fridge that reads, "Two things are required for great things to happen: a plan, and not quite enough time."

Playa Flake Factor sucks canal water. Read it as a rite of passage and go from there. See you out there!

[Dustdevil]

Last year my two daughters bailed on my wife and myself one week before the event. IT WAS GREAT! Sold their tickets, kept the $ and had the time of our lives on the Playa.

[rev. lucifer]

It is sad but like diane o'thirst said, "atleast it happened now and not closer to the man." I have had several people who were suppost to go flake through out the years. It's never a good thing but, I have found that the years that I had the most hardships, were the years that were the best. So remember that it will all be worth it in the end.

[poosie_kat]

I understand how it goes on both sides of the flake factor. In 2002 there were supposed to be five of us going, at least. By the time the burn rolled around, it was just two of us. Lots of "I'm going.", "I'm not going." that year.

Then last year I was supposed to go, but because of medical reasons I had to drop out. Thankfully it was around the beginning of May, so I wasn't really putting anyone out. Three or four of us were supposed to go, only The Rich headed out though.

It's work keeping everyone together to go, but worth all the hassle.
We'll see what happens this year.

[Imagigrl]

I've recruited 2 people this year. There maybe one or two more camp mates, but we'll not know for sure until mid-August. I'm not holding my breath and it just doesn't really matter anyway. I'm in it for me. From last year, my best friend Mason- who, with me, experienced The Man for the first time -which prompted us to do a theme camp this year... Gonzo's Inner Sanctum... has dedicated his time, some money, and effort to the cause. The new recruit (virgin burner) is my boyfriend Ken. We've only been together for 7 months and he's a 'naturally high' person who's kind-of geeky and has never experienced anything like Burning Man nor has he experimented much with other things, but his favorite musical group is Pink Floyd, he loves cartoons, and loves sci-fi/fantasy stuff and he digs my strange ways. Ken has surfed the BMan site a lot so he's really excited. I gradually pressed the invitation to him by giving him time to gently absorb the unusual media about The Man. The thing is, I'm paying for most of the costs (I owed Mason from last year) and I'm the registered leader of the camp. I've done a lot of research and recollecting (inc. lessons from last years experience) and have developed a plan that will keep the on-the-playa energy effort down to a minimum esp. since Ken and Mason have a tougher time than I do of climatizing and stripping off their shells on the playa. I'm doing a lot of the physical prep work at home beforehand because my two boys have opted to handle the audio entertainment compilations and the physical construction of the camp itself which is a lot of work in its own right. They are also willing to help me host the camp during reasonable hours that we've all agreed upon, but I'm the one who'll light the spark when the time comes. In this way, I've become the proprietor of the endeavor and am reassurredly- per past performance -an excellent road trip cohort so they can trust they're in good hands. This is a lot of trust to be put on one's shoulders and I doubt they'd be going if it weren't for my energy infusions into them, to say the least. Although I'm not absolutely responsible for their good time, I am their caregiver- so to speak, and this is a sacrifice I'm willing to make in order to share The Man with them esp. with Ken since this is his fledgling voyage. Ken and I are driving from Denver, CO to BRC with a southern Utah stop over to pick up Mason and to complete the final preps like food/bevy shopping before our trek. And this is the key, most people aren't willing to contribute as much effort as you and I. Their hearts are all for it, but procrastination, financial, and time restrictions ultimately mute their desire to participate. Doing The Man is a big project that most people can't pull together the resources to engage in because it's just not in their nature, really. There exists a solid core of Burners that are meant for The Man in body, mind, and soul. Everyone else are not as willing to give so freely of themselves in such an environment. So, it's up to the core to perpetuate the life of The Man. Expect that you will sometimes trek to The Man alone... and this is good because that's what The Man is all about. Mano y mano connectivity with The Man within a communal environment. Everyone at the event is there to befriend you so never, ever feel like you're not already among friends at Burning Man. Don't cheat yourself... always plan for your trekking alone in cost and prep and you'll have much better odds of maintaining a safety net when your friends bail out... hopefully, well in advance. Let's display some common courtesy, people, please don't bail out- without extremely valid reason -with The Man just around the corner. Likewise, sometimes you have to be the beacon that lights the way for them. Give and you shall receive in kind... in some way
and a matter of time.
>>This is from da_jenerator@hotmail.com and I endorse this message.

[Imagigrl]

Sorry 'bout that.

[Release Me]

Imagigrl, that says it all...thanks.

[EB]

I had a situation last year where I was bringing along three virgin burners who thought showing up Friday (instead of at LEAST Wednesday night...) was the best course.

After an argument in the middle of the street, I made my own arrangements to fly into Reno, rent a car, buy a used bike (piece of shit) and basically camp by myself for the first few days.

I was happy with my decision, figuring I'd rather go through the extra bullshit then stew in my own juices in LA (knowing the frivolity I was missing...) But as the time drew nearer to when I was to meet my friends (in the Cafe on Friday) I was worried that a huge cloud would hang over the rest of the trip.

I saw my buddy and as he came over to greet me, I knew things would be weird... when just at that moment, we both looked down to see a naked guy on the ground, humping one of the couch pillows.

We both cracked up. Turned out to be an awesome trip.

[JezebelinHell]

My best friends are veteran burners (one's on her 9th year, one's on his 6th), and they never show up until Thursday night. No, they're not yahoos, they just have three kids and can't get a sitter for an entire week. Meeting up with them is always the highlight of my burn, and the ONLY appointment I actually show up to (and on time even). It's nice to have your buddies there, but I have an absolute blast for the first four days without them. I don't think it's really possible to be 'alone' at BM unless you try really really hard.

[dr.placebo]

So in (only) 6 burns I have been bailed on a few times. Yet the two times I wound up solo I met fantastic people I now meet up with at every burn. I hope to have a lot of company next year, but I know that I can and will enjoy the burn regardless. Rejoice in the unexpected...