True story, I swear.
Back in 1987 I was working in Australlia in a cabinet shop as a bastard Carpenter. One day, 14th of July actually, I was working on an old bench planer running some boards through and the blade caught the front of my Levi's as I was reaching for the next board and almost severed my Penis three inches from the head.
Luckily, I was saved from massive blood loss and death by a Vietnam era Paramedic Parajumper that was working in the same shop and was airlifted by the Royal Flying Doctor Service to Adelaide (South Australia)
Upon arrival in Adelaide I was "reattatched" minus the mutilated 3" and eventually regained all sesitivity and functions within 6 months and went out for test drive in Late December 87 at one of the liscenced brothels in the red light district, Wow, What a great Christmass gift !
I arrived home in Melbourne for Christmass with my Girlfriends family and besides being the butt of thier jokes and the wonderment of modern medicine I arrived at the time where "Sue" had the oppertunity to see this miricle of modern medicine. Upon dropping my strides and a little fluffing she said , Fuck Me ! cut me of and call me shorty. you still got nine inches and stop your crying.
That was the last Christmass that I spent with Sue. I banged her Mother and her brothers Girlfriend on New Years eve the following week just to prove a piont and as payback for their insensitivity. I left for America shortly thereafter and have been here ever since.
Sooooo, Thats where I got my Eplaya screenname,
Tru FUCKING story.
"Tis better to be well disliked,
Than not liked at all."
Ned Kelly, 1884, Australian Outlaw.