Sock Puppet Theater - No Humans Allowed!

[JohnPaulQuilliard]

This thread is for all you that want to play with socks but don't want to be hunted like dogs. Now remember when you post here you have blown your cover and you will be considered a sock. NO EXCEPTIONS.

Now I know that Hypocrites run wild in these threads so be careful they are dangerous beasts with big teeth and stinky breath.

There are only two rules, 1. stay true to your character. No switching from good to bad in the same breath. That way people will know how to interact with you. 2. STAY IN THE YARD! No going to other threads with your socks that have been created for this show.

But some of you say "We don't have a sock and want to play too." Well let me think. Hmmm Well your all really socks when you think about it. God has his hand up all your asses.

Alright let's all take a lead from Mister JellyFish Mister and interact like he does with Zsu Zsu (Cry baby drama queen bitch)

So If your sock wants to play make sure that you title the post appropriately. Mister Jellyfish Mister is really good at this. Read the Zsu Zsu stuff and you will get it.

As for the story line I have no idea. Let's see what happens.

Now for a public service announcement from Celebrity Sock Puppets.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P0XqrcmZLFY[/youtube]

Let the show begin!

[maggiemayday]

Well, crap, that leaves me out because I was born just before this thread was created.

[anti m]

I was born on the same day as you. I'm a half-sock leftover, not a secret sock. I can't hunt socks like dogs. How do you hunt socks? With a dryer sheet?

[JohnPaulQuilliard]

Well, crap, that leaves me out because I was born just before this thread was created.

---Erri2000---
That does not compute. If you where just born would you not have vocal cognitive recognition?
---End Erri2000---

---Mr. Opportunity---
She is just being a smart ass. They think they are better than us. She is obviously a puppet other wise she would be breaking the rules and we all know what I do with rule breakers.

(Mr. Opportunity's teeth come out.)
--End Mr. Opportunity---

---Apok----

Oh no this is not good at all. Iwas hoping that this would be a story of fairies and wonderment and already it looks like war again.

(Little Apok flies to the corner and sits by the fire.)
---End Apok---

(John Paul Enters)

JP: Alright settle down. We are going to get a lot of looky lues that don't get it. But I bet you we are going to make some new friends as well.

--- Chief ---

Then let's do this thing, I am a very busy man.

---End Chief---

JP: Alright what do you want to start off with? A story of Doom or a story of Love.

---Little Ali---

Hi John Paul. I would like to hear a wonderful love story about my home planet of Amor. It has been so long since I have been home. I miss it so.

--- End Little Ali ----

That sounds very nice Little Ali. I am sure everyone is familiar with this story and will be more than happy to help it move along. Time permitting and all.

Once upon a time there was this mythical planet of Amor. The skies where clean and the water blue. Candy apple trees grew next to the bubble gum bushes. All lived happily there.

Their Queen was this girl named little Ali

---Little Ali----
Thats me!

---End Little Ali---

JP: Thats right its you well she is a sweet 17 year old that never aged a day in a thousand years.

She of course was in love with her prince Mika and they lived right next door to each other.

Well one day a messenger came to the door and knock and when Little Ali opened the door she saw...

(Now this is where you come in and action!)

[JohnPaulQuilliard]

I was born on the same day as you. I'm a half-sock leftover, not a secret sock. I can't hunt socks like dogs. How do you hunt socks? With a dryer sheet?

JP: Well it seems that some would like to pretend to be others and make it seem like I am creating them. You are not AnitM and I am sure she is going to be pissed off that you are pretending to be her.

I told you earlier I am not creating any other puppets with Log ons, I don't need to. And I will not be punishing anyone because you stole their name.

But you are.....

---Mr. Opportunity ---

I will take it from here. (Teeth slowly come out from his mouth, spikes grow from his hands, fire bellows around him.)

Hello You must be the messenger. What is your message LAIR!

Well? Can't speak? Thought you would have me hurt my friends? What did AntiM ever do to you? She protects you and this is how you repay her?

(You fall to your knees. In fear.)

Hey John Paul just ignore this one and the other fakers that don't understand how this game is played. I will take care of them for you.

(Mr. Opportunity drags the evil fakers into the dark to give them their "GIFT")

--- End Mr. Opportunity ---

JP: Well I am sure no one wants to see that....

---Apok----

So what happened next John Paul? Tell us.

---End Apok----

JP: Well at the door it is Mika

--- Mika ---

(Mika is dressed like a delivery boy holding a box of candy)

I have a special delivery message for you Little Ali.

---End Mika---

(Change in the script style I am going to put the name of the person first with a colon, action will be surrounded by ( ) marks

Little Ali: Oh Mika, I mean Mr. Delivery Man, what is my message.

(Mika hands her the note and she reads it)

Little Ali: I love you. Oh Mika this is best message I have ever gotten. I love you too.

(Mika hands her the box of candy, he is an expert candy maker, that is his job on Amor. He is renown for his ability to concoct delectable chocolates)

Mika: I made them special for you. They have a secret ingredient in them.

Little Ali: Oh Mika, you know what I like.

(They walk hand and hand out into the valley and the birds sing as the sun , they call their sun Jah, as Jah smiles down on them and in the distance they see some friends having a picnic. And Action)

[JohnPaulQuilliard]

---Incoming message from Erri2000---

Erri2000: John I don't think they understand.

JP: What is that Erri2000?

Erri200: They think that they can change timestamps on their posts and you won't notice.

JP: I know. like when the fake Anti M posted, last night she wasn't their.

Erri2000: It is good that I was programed to keep original date and last updated time so they can just check their logs to see what is really happening.

JP: Yes and they will find that the administrators are the ones that are trying to play God. And we all know God doesn't like that one bit.

Apok: They are silly monkeys

Little Ali: Yeah silly monkeys. They are trying to ruin my picnic.

Chief: Well it looks like they are gonna sleep with the fishes tonight.

Queue: Maybe they will find inner peace as they float at the bottom of the sea.

AThumper: Anyone have a carrot?

(John Paul give the little bunny a carrot and he munches on it.)

Mr. Opportunity: You don't worry your pretty little heads. I have them all.. Well you don't want to know.

JP: Well let's continue with the story. So Little Ali and Mika walk hand and hand out to the people in the distance. Sitting by the lovium pond (Lovium is a natural element on Amor that rejuvenates them it s the most abundant material on Amor. It is what Amor is made of.) is Little Ali's champion Sir Steel and his love Lily also their is Lala and Toomas.

Now Lala and Toomas are well Sex therapists, thats what they like to call themselves actually they just really love sex and everyone is very cool with it. They are the master and mistress of the Kama Sutra.

And Little Ali looks at them all sitting nude by the pond and thinks to herself

Little Ali: This is going to be a fine day indeed.

As Mika kisses her on the cheek. They walk up.... Who is Sir Steel and Lily yo ask? Well Sir Steel is the blacksmith in town and Lily is a seamstress, she makes the most beautiful clothing and Sir Steel makes the finest of armor and tools. Anyway they walk up and sit down.

Lily hands Little Ali a glass of wine. Hold on with the questions. I told you no one ages, Little Ali only looks 17 she is as old as Jah. She can have anything she wants. They all can. There are no children on Amor. That would be inappropriate.

So Little Ali lifts her glass to the sky and says

Little Ali: To love and all the wonderful things it brings.

And they all drink. When a friend walks up to them from over the hill.

(And action)

[Shambala's troll]

Oh my! This shit is disturbing, even for me.

[AntiM]

I was born on the same day as you. I'm a half-sock leftover, not a secret sock. I can't hunt socks like dogs. How do you hunt socks? With a dryer sheet?

Not to worry, I know this sockette.

And yeah, sham, I agree, but they're all here in one place. As long as they don't wander off and hurt themselves, I'm good.

[JohnPaulQuilliard]

Oh my! This shit is disturbing, even for me.

JP: What is disturbing? A group of friends having a picnic? Is that really what scares you? Or is it the fact that you don't know what love is.

Now you can join the party or you can be dragged off by the bouncer. The choice is yours. As I have been told by ALL OF YOU! And I will paraphrase "If you don't like what you see turn 180 degrees and walk away.

Or does it scare you that one man can be so creative? Is that what you fear? That one person can entertain? So confusing.

Mr. Opportunity: Hey JP you already warned them. Let me just do my job. I have a special place for trolls.

(Mr. Opportunity walks up to the shivering troll and picks him up. Lifts him into the air.)

Mr. Opportunity: Just like eating sardines.

JP: Well we don't need to see that. Please chew with your mouth closed. Well back to the story.

Well the gang is sitting around the luvium pond and who should walk up but none other than Susi and Etha. They are Mika's friends. See on Amor every one has a Compliment that they fit best with although and it s usually two people. Like Little Ali's compliments are Mika and Sir Steel, who's real name is Yoshimi. Mika's compliments are Little Ali and Susi. Susi's compliment... oh you get it good.

What is Little Ali's full name you ask. Well it is Allah Khan Jaku she is originally from the town of Jaku, the most diverse of all the cities. But now resides in Pisa.

Oh Pisa is beautiful. They have this wonderful statue in the middle of town of a nude man riding a horse holding a torch in his left hand and holding his right hand to the sky. Touching his right hand is an angel coming down from heaven. It s called "Together Again" And the funny thing is it seems to have been there since the beginning of time. I guess if I had to compare an artist to an earth artist it would have been carved by Michael Angelo himself. It is just beautiful.

Well Susi and Etha walk up to the gathering

Susi: Do you mind if we join you.

Yoshimi: (jokingly) And what do you bring to the party?

With that Susi and Etha produce feathers from behind their backs and start tickling everyone. They roll on the ground laughing like new souls that have just returned to heaven.

JP: Let's take a break for another celebrity sock puppet let's give it up for
Torchwool - Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aGGTfuM1RGM[/youtube]

And back to the story:

When a friend shows up (AND ACTION!)

[JohnPaulQuilliard]

Welcome back.

JP: Well everyone it seems that our friends are having just the best time and they all lay in exhaustion from their little tickle fest. Let's watch.

Little Ali: That was great but what do we do with all these feathers?

Etha: There sure are a lot of them.

Lala: Oh let's do something sexy with them.

Yoshimi: Oh Lala what do you have in mind.

(They all look at Mika and he starts to blush)

Lily: I know let's make costumes. I could sew them. What should we make with all these feathers?

Susi: I know let's make Peacock outfits for all and then we could have a parade down the main street of Pisa.

Little Ali: I love that idea. Mika would you like to be a peacock in the parade? You would make a beautiful peacock and I will be the peahen.

(Mika smiles and looks up)

Mika: I would like that.

JP: So all at the picnic started to work on their costumes beautiful plumes flowing in all directions. Masks to cover the eye and feather for the butts so they could "Shake a tail feather" when it was time.

Toomas: I am going to put my tail in front.

Little Ali: We would expect nothing less from you, you have a beautiful...

JP: And with that she tickles his penis.

Lala: You learn well Little one.

JP: So they all sit down and create their costumes laughing and trying on each others creations. Today is a truly grand day as it will be the first of many Peacock parades to come.

(When suddenly they see, And Action!)

[JohnPaulQuilliard]

Well ladies and gentlemen lets take a little break for the "Sock Puppet Comedy Showcase!"

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AybsbyL8BX8[/youtube]

Want to make your own Sock Monkey check out these videos from Youtube

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=blBcAfLcj-E[/youtube]

[JohnPaulQuilliard]

Little Ali: Hey John, I have a question?

JP: Yes Little One.

Little Ali: So why do you keep trying to make these people happy when they have obviously gone out of their way from the beginning to be so mean to you.

JP: That is not fair all of them haven't been mean.

Little Ali: But most have. And I have been reading this forum. It is really boring. Your stuff is the most interesting. Most of the stuff they do is the same year after year.

JP: Well it is new to the new people.

Chief: John I agree why are you sticking up for these weasels? Most aren't worth a plug nickel back in the day you know what we would do with a snitches like these?

JP: I really don't want to know Chief.

Queue: John there is nothing zen about this place. It is a waste land of the same old thing they do at home. Seriously let's just pack up the karma and leave.

Apok: I agree I was swatted at by three people for just saying hi.

JP: Yeah, I know, but they seemed like they had such potential. I mean most of them had no fear of being themselves...

Chief: But they never wanted you to be you, they higher expectations of their demeanor in an illusion of grandiose manner.

JP: Chief, what does that even mean?

Chief: I thought it would sound smart. Sorry.

JP: Erri2000 what do you think.

Erri2000: They seem to all be in sleep mode in the past. They where blind and deaf to the problems they have caused. They are all alert now and functioning properly. It does not compute.

JP: Many have been. That is why I came back. I could not let them hurt another with their lies. So many are just hypocrites and really just mean.

Mr. Opportunity: You know the strangest thing?

JP: What is that, they taste like chicken?

Mr. Opportunity: No, but good guess they taste more like rotting fish. They prayed for you to come to them. For years they prayed that you would come back and then they tried to kill you, over and over. And you never gave up on them. If it was me I would have locked them all in a vault and sucked the air out then gassed the place with...

JP: Alright we get it. Settle down. I know what they did. I did screw up. I should have just taken their advice and just saved myself and left the rest behind.

Little Ali: They are just poopies.

Apok: Let's go home John. I can fly you there if you are tired.

(All) Yeah john they really do hate you let's just go.

JP: Okay. What ever. We did what we could do. They really are a hateful bunch. I will never give up hope that some day they will understand what I tried to do. But this has gone on for many years and they keep attacking me at my home. I never went to where they lived and hurt them.

Apok: John I am going to cry stop it.

JP: Yeah let's go.

(All leave and never to return)

The moral of this story is even though people tell you that you will like something and they are doing things that you like. They will always show there true colors in the end if they are lying.

I would like to say God bless you all, but God is shaking his head no at me and Satan is telling me to flip you the bird. So I guess I will just say good bye, I have better times in a truck stop mens room taking a dump and that is the truth.

So I will leave you with a video of a dog eating a sandwich I am sure this is more most of your speed.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5uHYHmkgNM[/youtube]

[I am a sock puppet]

John, I am one of your biggest fans.

[Da Mule]

I am a sock-ass-tash

[Da Mule]

Someone told me to "talk to the hand" recently.

Can I do that here?

*edited to remove reference to Ygmir being the hand*

[ygmir]

Someone told me to "talk to the hand" recently.

Can I do that here?

*edited to remove reference to Ygmir being the hand*

you, dear Mule........are about to be punished..........

*preparing "speedy hand of fury" for paddling*

[Fire_Moose]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5iJPoIynm0[/youtube]

[H.G.Crosby]

wasn't their.

a poet who cant spell...


PSHAW!

[Da Mule]

Hey Ygmir! No HUMANS ALLOWED! Can't you reed?

Wait a minute....if Ygmir is a sock...

[ygmir]

Hey Ygmir! No HUMANS ALLOWED! Can't you reed?

Wait a minute....if Ygmir is a sock...

and, therein, lies the paradox:

who, here, is a sock?
and, can a sock, have a sock?
and, if a sock, has a sock, does the "double negative" formula apply, therefore, making the socks, sock, "real"?
And, if so, what is real?
For, reality, being merely perspective, can the real, be seen as sock, and, vice/versa?
Can, anyone, be sure, this is real, or, are they lying, in lonely field, dying from battle wounds, and, dreaming this last, pleasant occurrence?
Is the cat, in the box? and if so, is it alive? We won't know, until we look, and until then, is it not both live, and dead?
So, do we not only see, what it is, or who we are, at that instant in time?
So, as we delve into the process of determining, whether a sock, is a sock, and, if so, to whom it belongs (or from whence it emanates), can we not merely be assured, that, in the instant of our enlightenment, we only see, the truth, of said instant, and perhaps, not the universal truth, apparent to our God (s), (whether you perceive them to be hairy Thunderers, or Cosmic Muffins) trivia: where is that quote from?

and, so, all may well exist as sock, and "not sock", at the same instant, until, so perceived, by the individual, that, they decide, what is true, for them. All the while, knowing, their truth, is not necessarily shared by others, carnate, or ethereal, sentient, or not.......



just wonderin'.......

[knowmad]

Psycocerebral self stimulation at it's finest. Sad. Sad Socks, lame plot. overall two tits down.

[Fire_Moose]

you missed an apostrophe Yggy.

[ygmir]

well, yeah, but I put in extra commas......

[Shambala's troll]

I think all you socks stink!

[gaminwench]

trivia answer... Deteriorata?

[ygmir]

trivia answer... Deteriorata?

[Simon of the Playa]

those that do not know history are doomed to suffer the same fate.


bump.

[AntiM]

I got a chill when I saw this had been bumped. Fuck.

[Roberto Dobbisano]

you know how vlad the impaler used to put his slain enemies on Posts to warn future potential antagonists?


just Sayin'...

[Simon of the Playa]

the mind is a terrible thing to taste...