tell me a story

[ygmir]

but, as is so often the case,,,,,,,,he had been "bewitched", and, truly, not only was he not on his throne, it was not "his" sword he so delicately caressed,

he was actually....................

[ygmir]

but, as is so often the case,,,,,,,,he had been "bewitched", and, truly, not only was he not on his throne, it was not "his" sword he so delicately caressed,

he was actually....................

[ygmir]

but, as is so often the case,,,,,,,,he had been "bewitched", and, truly, not only was he not on his throne, it was not "his" sword he so delicately caressed,

he was actually....................

[Sail Man]

speaking in tongue, three times, until the good Colonel released his grip upon the switch and the world resumed its normally crazy ways

[ygmir]

and with that, he bounded off, in search of adventure, with his sidekick and their pals..........

[CLARKcon]

...Rock Crusher, Slam Dance, and actor Christopher Walken. They careened the land for days & told eachother dirty jokes and ghost stories. Depleted of supplies,they happened upon a small but hospitable bartertown by the name of...

[ygmir]

"Mustang" , but, the only goods the town had to offer were Vienna sausages and shellfish............

[CLARKcon]

But they soon learned the shellfish were not your ordinary pre-packaged salty fare...but indeed, were the crustacians of myth that only the town of Mustang had aqquired. One slimy gulp would empower the consumee the ability to...

[Thecatman]

visit the "RANCH"

[ygmir]

where Rock Crusher, Slam Dance and Christopher Walken, eat Vienna Sausages and shellfish........much the same as Marcus Licinius Crassus, none of them answering as did Antoninus.
They were a motly crue, soiled and caked with.............

[littleflower]

oysters, breaded with panko and fried in....

[Victorian]

peanut oil, which happened to give Slam Dance an allergic reaction...

[littleflower]

affecting his ....

[ygmir]

and so he itched, which, led to scratch........and, ahh, what a scratch.
on the post, on the carpet.........scooting like a dog with a itchy butt.......pulling himself, shamelessly across the playa.............for they had been magically transported there, almost in an instant.
the adventurers had been whisked away, across time and space.
And all because Rock Crusher had inadvertently touched...........

[Victorian]

the magic camelback that Christopher Walken spotted, while they walked across this little hut, containing anything and everything that can/could hold water...

[CLARKcon]

While they were busy filling the various canteens & containers with water for their trek across the night desert to go to the Opulent Temple to rave with Paul Van Dyke & Oakenfold, Chris Walken found a bottle of White Merlot that had been made by using the tears of Tree Fairies. He conviently hid the bottle in...

[ygmir]

his tinfoil hat.
The hat, given him by Landru, himself, after the battle of Livermore........
for his heroic and selfless charge and capture of.....

[littleflower]

the liver queen, who he is currently holding hostage with her liverettes in a secluded little nook near the playa. chris likes to visit the secret harem as well, with his famous watch, and his....

[Elorrum]

cowbell. They enjoy the liverentine hideaway, but occasionally need to sneak off to assuage their craving for fried onions. Having a cannibalistic heritage, the smell and sight of fried onions sends the liverettes into panic. The days drift by with activities and pleasures such as...

[ygmir]

"love targets in bondage, and, the blind archer", as well as an all time favorite:
"bend over, bend over, OneEyeddick is red rover".........

it was as fun, time, a time of reckless abandon and carefree fornication.........of hedonistic pleasures and no inhibitions..........a time, like that on uncle Willies farm, back in the days when.........

[Sail Man]

Uncle Willie had a pair or cows, one male and one female. And his son Timmy spied upon the cow's one day and asked his papa "Pa, what are them there cows doing?"

Well, son, their mating.

Huh?" said Timmy.

There fucking, screwing, having sex.

"Huh??" said Timmy yet again. "Why would they do it that way?"

[CLARKcon]

and Uncle Willie said "Well son, it's cause' of their lack of flexible joints & imagination." This left Timmy in a quandry, still not having a clear idea why the cow's hopped on eachother's back. He decided to ask the smartest person he knew, his teacher, Ms. Ogglemeyer the next day at class...
"Ma'am?"
"Yes Timmy?"
"Do you have flexible joints?"
"Well, I suppose I do?"
"Do you have an 'image-a-nation'?"
"Sure,...I can think outside of the box...why are you.."
"Miss Ogglemeyer, have you ever hopped on the back of a cow before?"
But Ms.Ogglemeyer had had enough. She took Timmy outside and led him to the...

[OnceTheDustClears]

special place behind the school house where she showed him the real secret of the

[ygmir]

special place behind the schoolhouse.......a place, within a place......a place of fear, mystery, hidden from most, open to some.........a place of musky warmth, sweet envelopment and immersion, from whence, emanates a flavor, admittedly, and acquired taste, enriched through experience, feared by the uninitiated,

a place, truly, where once entered, and the ripe fruit once tasted, the bewildered seeker becomes the neophyte...........and, upon repeated entrance, becomes..........

[ragabashpup]

a small little playa frog hopping into the boobie bar..

[OnceTheDustClears]

Eeeek! she squealed as the slippery little greenie hopped across her boobies.

She picked up the little frog and...

[CLARKcon]

...tied on a minature set of skies. She sprinkled powdered sugar down the length of the bar table. She placed the little froggy on the back of her neck and said "Now Greenie, if you can slide down my back and do a double-backflip off my rump, I will give you...

[Sail Man]

A nice refreshing dip in my finest tempura batter, followed by a lovely bath in your own hot tub of virgin olive oil. And after your all nice an "refreshed" I promise you that I will eat your.....

[littleflower]

tough old grandma, and all her warts, and love everyminute of it, 'cause everyone knows that green tastes better than

[Elorrum]

Betty Botter's bitter butter batter. (narrator's note) but that's a tongue twister of another sort. We were talking of small frogs and tempura batter, and grandma frogs and green, the color of spring and things renewing, genius loci, spirit of place, Isis and Osirus. Grandma frog knows about journeying to the underworld, or drying up in a clump of mud, awaiting the rain, and then swimming once again. Her grandson's Xtreme ski jumping at the Booby Bar is the culmination of generations of frog patience rewarded with outrageous freedom before the possible hot oil tub, or mutant vehicle wheel crunch. So enjoy your mud, froggies, because summer's coming, and you will feel the reverberatons of thousands of bike wheels, dome dances, and bunny marches, somewhere in your crusted up slumber. (now back to our story) The skiing frog managed a full layout with twist and daffy before he...