ePlaya

by **The Drifter** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:00 pm

So there I was out on the open playa taking some black and white photos of the distant art when I was approached by a fellow Burner and instructed to "stop taking pictures"...... Yeah I know what you're thinking. This is an individual thing which has no connection to the greater community and you're probably right. But it did get the rusty gears turning in my head......

There really are more "little generals" coming to the playa in recent years; bravely embarking on their patriotic mission to police those who are enjoying a free expression event the wrong way. Hey, I'm as anti throwing plastic confetti around as the next guy but is this really the place for totalitarian snobbery and mind numbing bureaucracy?

by **Captain Goddammit** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:12 pm

I can only think of two possibilities: One, he was trying to be funny... or two, he was an asshole.
Maybe you should have taken pictures of him!

by **The Drifter** » Thu Jul 02, 2009 11:17 pm

...Followed by a picture of my own asshole so he didn't feel so lonely.....

The vast majority of Burners are obviously quite amazing and easy going. But have you encountered more expert pontificators in recent years? Another example I can recall is this guy telling me that I shouldn't put so many glowsticks on my bike.....

Aren't we forced to comply with enough meaningless rules in life without creating more at Burning Man?

by **Dork** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:06 am

I remember encountering plenty of holier than thou burners back in 2001. I don't know if it's actually increased or not. I suspect how much attitude you get is a bit random and/or based on where you hang out.

by **oneeyeddick** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:24 am

There was this dude last year that demaded someone else should get off of the top of my MV to make room for him because he was a veteran.

I asked of which war.

He said he had been to Burning Man 5 years in a row, so I asked him why is he still wearing glowsticks ?

I then gave him some Jerky that had been on the dash of My MV a for a few days and drove away warching him eat it.

To top it off it was Turkey Jerky.

by **burn** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:41 am

What's wrong with glow sticks? :roll:

by **gaminwench** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 2:40 am

they are one use, 'disposable' plastic which never, ever biodegrades...and what IS the glowy stuff inside made from?(probably not organic, biowhatever...)

by **burn** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:23 am

No, it has to be something else.
I don't think Dick is an enviro save the earth vigilante kinda guy.

by **Dork** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 3:41 am

oneeyeddick wrote:There was this dude last year that demaded someone else should get off of the top of my MV to make room for him because he was a veteran.

In 2001 I was helping run the cube club (a jazz club on the open playa) which was packed. A party bus drove up and someone got out and asked me if we would kick everyone out so the people on the bus could have a turn watching the band.

Later that night someone came up and asked if he could have a turn playing the piano. I said sure, just wait until the band's set was over and he could talk to the guy currently playing. He designed, help build and fund the amazing club/art piece and I'm not going to kick him off his own piano in the middle of a song. The dude had a hissy fit about how he'd been playing piano on the playa for 5 years and had never had his playing ability questioned before, then walked away in a huff.

I also had several people bitch me out for not wearing a costume.

by **Shambala** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 4:54 am

It really had to be someone having some fun with the photographer. That would have been my sense of humor out there--although I would have made it clear that I was joking around.

Last year a couple was doing nothing more than kissing along the Esplanade, and I told them that that stuff was not allowed at BM. They knew I was kidding around and the girl returned the favor by grabbing my crotch and asking me, "is this allowed?"!

Then there was a person who was clearly a first timer asked me if he could park by our camp while he looked for a place to set up. I told him it was a tow zone and his car would be gone in 5 minutes. I had to stop him as he started to get in the car to move it and remind him that he was in the middle of the desert and there were no tow trucks around!

There are good ways to deal with people being assholes on the playa. I found that non confrontational ones always work the best. I add humor and a smile, and the asshole usually moves on to the next person to police.

Some people really love having lots of rules. It reminds me of my mother living in her condo complex in Florida. Those old people live for rules and spend their entire life looking for someone that is breaking one of their self imposed policies. "Excuse me, but are you eating a grape? There's no food allowed and I'm reporting you to the condo president!"

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 5:52 am

this thread displeases me.

it's not burny enough, obviously the OP doesn't get "it", and he's wagging the tail of the dogma and the MAN don't like it.

i bet he even secretly uses two-ply in the Toidies.

the OP must die if this event is to survive. But i mean this in a metaphorical, spiritual and non-physical way, unlike that guy, what is his name, oh yeah, "thingproducer" who was a fanatico, and not associated with BMorg llc, Larry, or Moe, whatsoever.

quit bitching, and drink the fucking Kool-Aid, hippy.

by **ygmir** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 6:56 am

well, yeah, but, what's the difference between two ply and folded one ply?

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 6:59 am

your obvious insubordination by asking me a question i cannot answer displeases me.

by **ygmir** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 7:16 am

Simon of the Playa wrote:your obvious insubordination by asking me a question i cannot answer displeases me.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XfxnqAVUUM&feature=related[/youtube]

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 7:21 am

stop confusing me.

I am trying to figure out how to get those two Android Hotties to DisPleasure me.

by **ygmir** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 7:39 am

you may want to consult Harry Mudd

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xslf66Xers4&feature=related[/youtube]

by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 8:27 am

The aforementioned requisites can be obviated with the utilization of a double-bitted axe.

by **EspressoDude** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 9:13 am

Ugly Dougly wrote:The aforementioned requisites can be obviated with the utilization of a double-bitted axe.

I prefer a 12 pound splittin maul.

one ply vs 2 ply.....what diffo does it make if you're gonna use a whole roll for "the job"

glow sticks...single use.... so are flashlight batteries.. and tampons..

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 9:15 am

actually, i have found a number of different ways to recycle tampons, none of which i'd like to discuss here.

by **EspressoDude** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 9:36 am

ya mean you "SELL" them?????

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 9:45 am

if you really must know, those "jelly" sandwiches we GIFTED last year with the BLOODY marys weren't actually "jelly".

let the lawsuits begin.

by **Token** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 10:06 am

Dork wrote:In 2001 I was helping run the cube club (a jazz club on the open playa) which was packed.

Bingo! That is where I know you from. I delivered some of that lumber and was involved with the big hair Hawaian mafia crew that stormed the place and kidnapped Larry.

Now it all makes sense.

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 11:38 am

you know what else displeases me?

Frat Boy Toes.....Tevas.....Flip Flops actually make me have little mini-strokes.

cover that shit, you dumb ass greek.

its alkali...there's fire....fire is hot....mutants, vehicles, mutant vehicles roaming willy nilly 360 degrees, stuff exploding everywhere and from everything and everybody.

do you want that shit on your Feet? (fish, you know this doesnt apply to you)

and more importantly I DO NOT WANT TO SEE YOUR UGLY, HAIRY. GNARLY NASTY HIPPY NIKE JESUS TOES

i come to burning man to enjoy the nice serenity that steel toe, and it's cousin, work shoe give to my mind, and i like to be surrounded by others of my ilk.

i mean really.....who the fuck rides a motorcycle wearing flip-flops?

i see it all the time.......it's then i look up and pray to darwin...

"How long must we wait, oh lord, how Long?"

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fusea ... d=22004301

by **Token** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:24 pm

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 12:52 pm

i dont know, those are kinda "Neo"-Butch.

i'm the real deal.

notice the nice patina of playa dust has built up over these many years.

it's not that faux playa bullshit you see in some of the trendier boutiques in Half Moon Bay.

by **littleflower** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:03 pm

what about girls?

we can wear boots AND show our toes!

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:15 pm

girls can do whatever they want to.

they're girls.

and generally speaking, except for a few Mediterranean types, do not have hairy, ugly tootsies.

by **Ugly Dougly** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:18 pm

How do you fit someone for shoes like that?

Try these on, do they fit all right?
I don't know, they feel too - comfortable. The spike isn't really digging into my sole.
All right, I'll see what other sizes we have...

by **DoriumLux** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:35 pm

i mean really.....who the fuck rides a motorcycle wearing flip-flops?

The same people who walk in the porta potties barefoot?

by **Simon of the Playa** » Fri Jul 03, 2009 1:37 pm

ePlaya

This one DISPLEASES me....

This one DISPLEASES me....

we will teach you to wear the ribbon.

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