Bad Daddy, since you have first hand experience with this and know the particulars of the situation, perhaps you should set up a Teen Camp. I dunno, set up an Xbox for them, PC with a link to gigs of porn, or whatever teens do these days. Better yet, have a bunch of the teens mentioned build something cool, fun and preferably messy.
A do-ocracy this is, yes indeed.
Mon: Playa mud slip-n-slide.
Tue: Teen Thunderdome shootout
Wed: Port-a-pottie postering day.
Thu: Bungee cord / trampoline day.
Fri: Free porn, spitting contest, and wedgie day.
Sat: You are fucking grounded day. Do the dishes day.
or whatever those fucking potty mouth kids do these days...
You get the picture, right.
I can see you as the first BRC Eagle Scout