Top Asshats of 2012

[BBadger]

http://www.serpentfeathers.com/not-accepting-shame-at-this-time/

This girl. Jesus, she is the ultimate fucking sparklepony of them all. Her "art" (a fucking FULL BODY feathersuit) is so amazing it made it into magazines, so the normal rules of BM don't need to apply to her like they apply to everyone else. Her completely shameless rebuttal on her blog is even worse. Ugh. Fuck her.

Such a shame that hot tar would be so moopy...

[AntiM]

oh that reminds me!! sitting front row of Anubis for about 10 minutes, and some girl and her friend walk up, standing up looking at things about to go down. I light up a smoke and she says to me" can you put that out I get migraines"



You do realize you are at BURNING man and this place is a big ass toxic dust storm? You have how many square miles of the playa you can go and you are really going to tell me to put my smoke out? Go fuck your self.

Sometimes I seem anti-social because I'm avoiding smokers. I totally get it, she was wrong, you were there first. All she had to do was shift upwind.
But a point of clarification: playa dust and ciggie smoke are two different things. I can suck dust all week long and my asthma won't flare up. One inhalation of smoke, be it tobacco, sage or weed, will potentially make me turn blue and I need a trip to medical.
(No, woodsmoke isn't a trigger for me.)

Worst case scenario: being trapped in a crowd when hippies light up a bowl and block the only exit. Happened in the funhouse maze under the Man one year, and a big reason I avoid going inside art structures. I had the best panic attack ever. Yeah.

[trilobyte]

Piehole - for what it's worth, there has been something of a tradition at Arctica for accepting bribes in exchange for jumping line. I was fortunate in that this year I never did the camp's ice run, but in every year past while waiting in line at either Ice9 or downtown the crewmember wrangling the line has offered cuts for booze. The standard rate is a 6 pack of beer or a bottle of something. While I never took advantage of the offer (didn't have extra booze or the line was moving quickly), plenty have.

We had a pretty wonderful burn, no real major asshats to get in a twist over. Someone from either Philadelphia Experiment or Bubbles & Bass (they were brother/sister club camps) ditched a bucket full of excrement (with a lid on it, thankfully) in our camp (left it on the other side of one of our vehicles), but when we brought it back over to the remaining member of their strike team he took it back and put it with their giant rental dumpsters full of trash. Asshattery averted.

[AntiM]

Larry was in line at Ice3 when they came out calling for 'beer for the penguin"! I was on the bike and we happen to have a cooler of ice cold beer and came up with a PBR. Larry didn't get head of the line, but he jumped up to the entrance. I should have dug out two or three, hmmm? They asked, so I didn't feel bad about it at all.

[TomServo]

oh that reminds me!! sitting front row of Anubis for about 10 minutes, and some girl and her friend walk up, standing up looking at things about to go down. I light up a smoke and she says to me" can you put that out I get migraines"



You do realize you are at BURNING man and this place is a big ass toxic dust storm? You have how many square miles of the playa you can go and you are really going to tell me to put my smoke out? Go fuck your self.

Sometimes I seem anti-social because I'm avoiding smokers. I totally get it, she was wrong, you were there first. All she had to do was shift upwind.
But a point of clarification: playa dust and ciggie smoke are two different things. I can suck dust all week long and my asthma won't flare up. One inhalation of smoke, be it tobacco, sage or weed, will potentially make me turn blue and I need a trip to medical.
(No, woodsmoke isn't a trigger for me.)

Worst case scenario: being trapped in a crowd when hippies light up a bowl and block the only exit. Happened in the funhouse maze under the Man one year, and a big reason I avoid going inside art structures. I had the best panic attack ever. Yeah.

1. You voluntarily assume the risk of serious injury, death or migraines by attending this event.

2. Playa dust causes silicosis...ciggie smoke causes cancer. Choose your Poison..or just wear your respirator.

[grenadine]

oh that reminds me!! sitting front row of Anubis for about 10 minutes, and some girl and her friend walk up, standing up looking at things about to go down. I light up a smoke and she says to me" can you put that out I get migraines"



You do realize you are at BURNING man and this place is a big ass toxic dust storm? You have how many square miles of the playa you can go and you are really going to tell me to put my smoke out? Go fuck your self.

I was impressed by your restraint. I would have strongly suggested that she find a place where there are fewer smokers.

[tattoogoddess]

Ask Tom, it took me everything I could not to say something to her. I just put it out and mumbled. I know that cig smoke and dust are not the same but just saying both are toxic. Any ways she sat down 2 people over and shortly after about 5 other people lit up so I said fuck it, it's on. She did not cover up her face or move or anything... so who knows.

ps maybe some one can figure this out for me.. the sage thing. Do people put pot with sage? or smoke sage? so many times during burns or even out on the open playa I could smell sage. whats up with that?

[wraith]

Worst case scenario: being trapped in a crowd when hippies light up a bowl and block the only exit. Happened in the funhouse maze under the Man one year, and a big reason I avoid going inside art structures. I had the best panic attack ever. Yeah.

Feel for you there, AntiM. I have a similar reaction to pot smoke, some kind of allergy. Same reason I break out in hives like crazy if I have to mow ditch weed. Means I avoid most concerts these days, because unlike drunks who tend to pre-game, dumbass potheads can't resist lighting up in closed spaces.

[ZaphodBurner]

ps maybe some one can figure this out for me.. the sage thing. Do people put pot with sage? or smoke sage? so many times during burns or even out on the open playa I could smell sage. whats up with that?

Sage is a naturally-occurring western plant that has been burned for spiritual smd ritual purposes for ages. It would be a waste of pot to mix it with sage, and a waste of lungs to try to smoke it.

Some forms of incense, such as Champa, are sometimes used to mask the odor of pot either from the police or just if people find it unpleasant, but sage has spiritual value the way some churches burn incense without having any association with drugs. That's why you almost always smell it at the Temple.

I attended a Celtic- and Wicca-based ceremony at the burn and the woman presiding over the ceremony waved it over the entire wedding party, from our shoes to our heads. This was out in the open so it didn't bother my lungs at all.

The only thing we noticed about the ice line was, on one particular day they automatically threw change (bills) in the tip jar, and then told somebody "we can't make change, sorry." My wife ended up paying $10 for two bags of ice. The next day they didn't do anything like that at all.

[lucky420]

sage is used as a cleansing ritual. I've never heard of anyone smoking their weed with it, even dumbass potheads ...

[AntiM]

sage is used as a cleansing ritual. I've never heard of anyone smoking their weed with it, even dumbass potheads ...

I guess I'm unclean, huh? But yes, I originally meant sage smudging. Don't smudge me without asking, I'll cleanse your clock! If I could breathe.

[clocksnmirrors]

i nominate whoever it was who left the white plastic tumbler of poop on the playa near the wall street installation.


fuck-stick.

(and yes i removed it)

[Candybox]

ps maybe some one can figure this out for me.. the sage thing. Do people put pot with sage? or smoke sage? so many times during burns or even out on the open playa I could smell sage. whats up with that?

It's a hippie negative energy cleansing thing. Also, smells great on acid (personal opinion).

[lucky420]

I guess I'm unclean, huh? But yes, I originally meant sage smudging. Don't smudge me without asking, I'll cleanse your clock! If I could breathe

No darling AntiM, I would never consider you unclean. Dirty (oh my yes) but unclean? never...

Thanks for the matching panties (to my fruit bra) that you gave me on playa...super gift

[tattoogoddess]

oh i know what sage is for lol should have said that. didnt know if people smoked it to cover up the smell of pot or what.

[OUtback UFO]

Near 430 and D a camp mate of mine was walking back to our shade chill area... a few of us were enjoying the shade... when a normal car just about runs our friend walking back. We were close enough to hear everything. The driver leans out and yells at our walking friend that he should be carefule since 'Cars Happen"... Our friend just slams his hands down on the hood and yells... "NO More Free Hugs For You!" at the Driver... and continues to yell it a few times. We are just all laughing and then our camp mate gets mobbed by a group of good looking girls who also saw the event with very nice hugs...


The guy in the car got no hugs.

[piehole]

Piehole - for what it's worth, there has been something of a tradition at Arctica for accepting bribes in exchange for jumping line. I was fortunate in that this year I never did the camp's ice run, but in every year past while waiting in line at either Ice9 or downtown the crewmember wrangling the line has offered cuts for booze. The standard rate is a 6 pack of beer or a bottle of something. While I never took advantage of the offer (didn't have extra booze or the line was moving quickly), plenty have.

We had a pretty wonderful burn, no real major asshats to get in a twist over. Someone from either Philadelphia Experiment or Bubbles & Bass (they were brother/sister club camps) ditched a bucket full of excrement (with a lid on it, thankfully) in our camp (left it on the other side of one of our vehicles), but when we brought it back over to the remaining member of their strike team he took it back and put it with their giant rental dumpsters full of trash. Asshattery averted.

Well not at Ice-3 apparently. Airport Mayor told me that they do that Center Camp and Ice-9 but at Ice-3, bribes were not accepted. I consulted before I called out. I am a responsible piehole.

[TomServo]

Being an asshat's a tradition? At DMV, we are NOT allowed to take bribes..at least until AFTER we register their MV...but then, No one else in line is getting screwed.

[Bexx]

The asshats that camped next to us.. And kept pissing on one of the trailers in my camp.

The asshats that also felt that my camp was a fucking FREEWAY and could just waltz right in.. Go past our shower with camp mates in it.. To get to their camp on E. this happened every fucking day out there. Everyone in my camp confronted at least 2 or 3 people. Oh, also the ones that would just fuckng ride their bike through ours to get to their camp. They can all eat a bag of dicks. No amount of telling them to please go around ever helped. Shit, we were close to the 3:30 corner on D too. Not like it would have been hard.

The asshat that felt my bike basket was a good home for empty corona bottles @ the pier

I think that's it!

[AntiM]

That's when the "trash tent" or gear tent comes in handy. Bring a spare tent, small one, and plant it smack dab in the middle of the unintentional pathway. String very random, unmarked guy lines. Trespassers will stop if you create a maze.

[BBadger]

Well not at Ice-3 apparently. Airport Mayor told me that they do that Center Camp and Ice-9 but at Ice-3, bribes were not accepted. I consulted before I called out. I am a responsible piehole.

Yeah, at Ice-9 they actually made a public announcement over a megaphone that they would accept bribes consisting of alcohol.

That's when the "trash tent" or gear tent comes in handy. Bring a spare tent, small one, and plant it smack dab in the middle of the unintentional pathway. String very random, unmarked guy lines. Trespassers will stop if you create a maze.

I call it "mining" the area.

achtung_minen.jpg (20.64 KiB) Viewed 1527 times

[theCryptofishist]

We use orange trash fence. Success varies... And we got a bike as moop...

[piehole]

Yeah, at Ice-9 they actually made a public announcement over a megaphone that they would accept bribes consisting of alcohol.

Yeah and I told her first nicely that she could donate the bottle, but at Ice-3 we don't accept bribes. She could go to Ice-9 or Center Camp. That's when she got 'burnier than thou' on me and that's when I told her she was a bitch

[SaritaSyrah]

The self-entitled ASSHAT that almost ran into me with his bike, yelling "dont be a darkwad!"

The fucker had ONE finger light, while I had a string of LED flowers around my waist, an LED scarf, an awesome blinky light around my neck from Mooney, AND a flashlight.

It was right after the temple burn. I mumbled something like "but...but...I have lights!" Then sat on the ground next to 4 and cried. Temple made me soft, fuckers.


P.s. Am I allowed to vent about default world asshats? Ive got a good one. Decompression sucks.

[some seeing eye]

Sure getting arrested is a real bitch. But those who didn't heed all the advice on how not to get arrested or cited played right into the (well played) hands of funds-hungry counties and the fed. It hurts the lawsuit between BM and a certain county, which in addition to planning substantially raise fees for "law enforcement" wants to impose new laws that would change the event as we know it. Arrests 2011:3 2012:22. Unfortunately the stupid tax falls on all of us.

[CitizenRandom]

We use orange trash fence. Success varies... And we got a bike as moop...

was it a blue schwinn with a black basket on the rear rack and tent lamp as a bike lite found around point 4 and the frog pond?
perhaps on Wednesday or thursday?

I got it 2010 for a Gate exodus shift
and it was lost by trusting a noob to strap it down right on his toyota RV.

It probably isnt the bike-
there was only like 4ooo bikes all over the Playa still even past thursday there was piles of bike shaped moopage.

[CitizenRandom]

Um ...its an asshat redux- or seqeul to a previous post..
last years asshat rangers husband overheard me in partial story retelling in a "Oh yeah That was stupid what happened last year" joking row about ..well the aformentioned
I was in good party standing with this asshatish rouge..
little did I know he was a spouse to last years UNFORTUNATE asshat from a illustrious yet neutral borg dept- an infrastructure fraternal guy..
sez he-" Um you better watch what YOU say.."
sez dipshit I -so unaware of more asshattery to follow.." Why? I was just explaining how this particular person behaved in an unparticular matter in a rather less than form manner one could refer to as " Bitch-esque"

( this reveiw has been summarized for descetion..and the fucker was nuttzo..not the ACTUAL wording but those whom are familiar may actually grasp my gyst..savy?)

Sez He- " Um cuz That was my ...WIFE.." puffs chest and looks down nose durring morning bloodys and ritual interdepartmental wisecrackin and gossip at undisclosed location rhyming with Hoeky O

Sez I " well nothin personal but I WAS a party to the matter that sucked and we can all agree it was unsavory and rather unusual matters for either party to be enbroiled in collatorally but in light of it all I felt my personal experiance had suffered for an uncharacteristical bitchlyness that stained an already stupid and repugnant mishap of which I was entirely not at fault."
sez I - I am sorry- i did not know she was your wife..I appolagize"
to wit here for said asshat 2012 sez- well she was just doing her Job- as I in turn agreed- and then he continues on saying upon how it was really the fault of some tribe of OTHER persons whom are black clad..and I say it was just the weirdness from a new rule as caused by an outsider tool and hype- I appolagized to him again regarding any potential insult to him - but perhaps even more so inwardly reflecting upon his home life.. you get me?
Convinced by his parlay- that all offence was not taken and we were as good as gold once again to perhaps continue at some other juncture the ritual we employed last year of whipp its and wiskey..I was confident the matter was and would remain a dead horse..

Come some 12 hours later i receive a gifted mug with a cracky lil whore on it and rushed over to the Then heven Bar to show my grrlfriend from that morning
I had questioned her earlier about how she got the guys like she does and she and I discussed her great success at being awesome..
I approached the bar and said to my grrl pal with proud cup prepaired for a breif libation..
HEY____________ Who you Gotta Blow to get Laid around here!??
She laughed and began to respond when ASSHAT 2012 lept over the Bar calling me names and making me out to be a baddish trouble type-- ranting on about last year as if I WAS a jerk rather than a victem of one and then went on about how I called his WIFE a name I myself find no issue in being refered to in fact find it complimentury..unless misapplied when throwing an innocent burner out for being - well Its so last year...

He starts threating me and screaming at me and calling me all kinds a shit I dont think was appropriet as well as clashed with his Dept uniform..in front of about 30 people.
I wasnt even talking to him.
He bounced me I was" 86'd" for his personal problem and he made me cry. I was humiliated..and pissed hard.
I didnt see that comming AT ALL! what a shit head.

I left after trying to have a adult private conversation to defuse this with AH2012..
he almost threw himself over the bar and i felt then like I was in danger or that I would have to kick his fucking ass-hat
so I called him a matching bitch to that of his wife and then pittied her and asked for a green dot from the nearest Ranger..
lucky for me- there was a few near by..

SAVY? the guy was a total dick and I went back to my tent-crying like a baby bitch and slept out the sunday nite- a lost nite for this asshole-
two daze later I cracked my period so NOW the crying seems reasonable.
other than him- and the frienemy that left me three bags of trash- a beat patio umberella and took my water jugs needed to stay and resto durring my one sock week plan- I had a STELLAR EVENT-

[Zhust]

I got my wish this year!

One of my nightmares involved someone putting their generator right next to my tent and what I'd do. Obviously it would take someone who is astonishingly anti-compassionate to do such a thing, so my nightmare was all about trying to interact and explain the word "considerate" to mouth-breathing asshats.

I tucked in at the frontage left at 7:05 and Foxglove in front of an RV that later flew a flag "Kissing Dinosaurs", not realizing the whole area was reserved camping (which is because the gate didn't have enough books and maps for everyone on the ToFlame bus arriving 6 hours late; the nice folks at Open Sacred Heart [who ironically walled off their street frontage] said I'd probably be fine there.) Apparently they had trouble hearing their private 3000 watt sound system with the absurdly noisy piece-of-shit generator they had, so they began migrating it to the front of the RV then around the back toward F street. I laid down for an early night on Monday around 1 a.m. and they crank the thing up at 3 about 5 feet from my head. Earplugs are not particularly helpful, and the noxious fumes were soon to follow.

I got up and moved it in front of their RV then moved across the street the next day.

Now I know how to handle that one.

[Bob]

there was only like 4ooo bikes all over the Playa still even past thursday there was piles of bike shaped moopage.

4000 sounds about right, hope there are JPEGs of the pile.

Org should confiscate all bicycles-out-of-place and fund a bike concession, if people can't be bothered to secure their bikes or find them before they leave.

[Mrpatatomoto]

Piehole - for what it's worth, there has been something of a tradition at Arctica for accepting bribes in exchange for jumping line. I was fortunate in that this year I never did the camp's ice run, but in every year past while waiting in line at either Ice9 or downtown the crewmember wrangling the line has offered cuts for booze. The standard rate is a 6 pack of beer or a bottle of something. While I never took advantage of the offer (didn't have extra booze or the line was moving quickly), plenty have.

We had a pretty wonderful burn, no real major asshats to get in a twist over. Someone from either Philadelphia Experiment or Bubbles & Bass (they were brother/sister club camps) ditched a bucket full of excrement (with a lid on it, thankfully) in our camp (left it on the other side of one of our vehicles), but when we brought it back over to the remaining member of their strike team he took it back and put it with their giant rental dumpsters full of trash. Asshattery averted.

Well not at Ice-3 apparently. Airport Mayor told me that they do that Center Camp and Ice-9 but at Ice-3, bribes were not accepted. I consulted before I called out. I am a responsible piehole.

That's interesting Piehole, I worked three Ice-3 shifts this year and had at least one Bribe of alcohol per shift, but usually it is a request of the Penguins not someone in line. So I'm not sure if that counts the same. More of a fee for line hopping than a bribe, being the crews request not someones attempt to be lazy.

Only asshat I can think of at the moment AntiM already mentioned of someone running over a sawhorse that was covering Re-bar in our camp. Many more Asshats since getting back to Defaultia make you forget the minor ones from TTITD