Alright, let's hear the best and worst from 2012

[Dr. Pyro]

It was better than an orgasm.

And to think, I've been doing it wrong lo these many years.

[salope]

There's more than one way to skin a cat...

[clocksnmirrors]

pissing my pants on tuesday

I pissed my pants on Saturday, and it was actually a "best" for me.

I was so tired of the routine of drink drink drink to stay hydrated, then hobble off to find the nearest potties. Of course I would delay as long as possible, not wanting to leave the party (Bubbles&Bass, I'm looking at you!), and then end up almost limping in pain the last few blocks.

I found myself urgently hobbling along for the second time that morning, with the comforting blue glow visible off in the distance. So close, and yet so far! I was in actual pain.

I had reached that late-week state of near-total disinhibition. And I realized I simply didn't care; there was no actual reason for me to be enduring this pain; the idea that urine is "unclean" is default world thinking, and something I don't even subscribe to in the default world. I had a mini-epiphany, and my path became clear.

I stopped, turned around, and leisurely started back to whence I'd come. I let go of my bladder sphincter and my inhibitions, and pissed myself as I walked. I did it slowly, because it was glorious, and I wanted it to last. I smiled at everyone I passed; it mattered not if they could tell I was in the process of relieving myself. I was happy to share the moment.

It was better than an orgasm. The sweet relief, the early morning sun shining down on me. The warmth slowly spreading down one leg, soaking into my leg warmer and shoe (cheap converse, essentially disposable if it didn't clean up well, I figured). The realization that I had arrived in some meaningful way, had let go of this and so much else. Peace, total peace. No shame. No regret. The greatest two-block walk of my life.

I arrived back at the party and eagerly shared. I felt like Piss Christ, with good tidings to spread. Some got it, some didn't. It didn't matter, I understood the near-transcendent truth of my happy "accident".

It took some effort for me to not continue pissing myself for the remainder of the event. It was as though I had been un-potty-trained.

(Lest I become the next LABatman, let me state that I did avoid furniture until I had changed & wiped myself down.)

So now I bring to you the good tidings: it doesn't matter. Piss yourself if you must. Set yourself free.

If there is interest, I may organize a pants-pissing event for next year.

this post, along with your screen name, is the best thing i've ever read on e-playa.


*slow clap building to thunderous applaus*

[piehole]

BEST:

On the way back at one of the border checks between nevada & california, the guard looked at us, looked at the condition the truck was in, looked back at us and said

"Get the fuck outta here, I don't wanna breathe that shit in"

[tattoogoddess]

Good:
The people - BDV is a great bunch, as were most of the other folks I met out there.

Shower Camp - a continuous source of entertainment on the way to and from the jots.

Meet and Greet - Very well done this year and I actually missed very few eplayans that attended this time.

Actually meeting Simon.

Finally finding someone with a branding iron.


Bad:
Seeing so much vandalized art.

agreed!! ps how is your brand looking? mine is sick!! and in a ick kinda way. not infected though!

[maladroit]

BEST:

On the way back at one of the border checks between nevada & california, the guard looked at us, looked at the condition the truck was in, looked back at us and said

"Get the fuck outta here, I don't wanna breathe that shit in"

Ours just waved us along saying "welcome back" with a very knowing, and jealous, smirk.

[Lowz]

I felt like Piss Christ

[no words]

[Dis)'(rack]

Worst:
Our neighbors flying carports during the Monday wind storm. Yes they lost (2) due to piss poor anchorage. Cracked my campmates windshield, dented another campmate's truck, and damn near pinned a small girl to a box trailer. Luckily she got out of the way...barely, and only suffered a sprained wrist.


Best:
My campmate getting screamed at by our neighbor for almost killing his girlfriend with a flying carport and my then responding that it wasn't our structure. I had woke up from a nap and was discombobulated, so the feeling of relief was immeasurable. For the record, our structures were sound as the Pound.

Seeing a conversation between Larry Harvey and David Best about the way the Temple turned out. Watching the dynamic was awesome.

And a obligatory WTF? It bothered me that BofA actually isn't on Wall Street (it's in Charlotte).

[Savannah]

Worst:
Our neighbors flying carports during the Monday wind storm. Yes they lost (2) due to piss poor anchorage. Cracked my campmates windshield, dented another campmate's truck, and damn near pinned a small girl to a box trailer. Luckily she got out of the way...barely, and only suffered a sprained wrist.

Was this somewhere near 8:15 and E or F?

I remember seeing a carport literally cartwheeling down the street like a tumbleweed (and moments later, people chasing it). It was scary.

[catinthefunnyhat]

BEST:

On the way back at one of the border checks between nevada & california, the guard looked at us, looked at the condition the truck was in, looked back at us and said

"Get the fuck outta here, I don't wanna breathe that shit in"

Ours just waved us along saying "welcome back" with a very knowing, and jealous, smirk.

Coming into Canada, we were asked what we'd been doing in Reno with so much gear. We said "Burning Man." The guard smiled, asked me if that's where I broke my leg, and said, "I hear it gets pretty wild there. Welcome home" and waved us onwards without any other questions.

[Savannah]

Aww.

[Drawingablank]

BEST:

On the way back at one of the border checks between nevada & california, the guard looked at us, looked at the condition the truck was in, looked back at us and said

"Get the fuck outta here, I don't wanna breathe that shit in"

WTF? They guard the borders between states now?

[David M]

BEST:

On the way back at one of the border checks between nevada & california, the guard looked at us, looked at the condition the truck was in, looked back at us and said

"Get the fuck outta here, I don't wanna breathe that shit in"

WTF? They guard the borders between states now?

It's an agricultural inspection station to protect California from invasive fruit flys and other agricultural pests.

They are usually pretty nice.

[Dis)'(rack]

Worst:
Our neighbors flying carports during the Monday wind storm. Yes they lost (2) due to piss poor anchorage. Cracked my campmates windshield, dented another campmate's truck, and damn near pinned a small girl to a box trailer. Luckily she got out of the way...barely, and only suffered a sprained wrist.

Was this somewhere near 8:15 and E or F?

I remember seeing a carport literally cartwheeling down the street like a tumbleweed (and moments later, people chasing it). It was scary.

No, this was over at 4:15ish and the ports blew from H to F and H to G. I woke up laying on a chase lounge, looked in the air, and saw that sucker like 15' up in the air. I thought for sure it was ours. Scrambled up as quickly as possible and saw it almost ruin someones burn. Hell, it could have expired their life if it hit right (or wrong as the case may be). And yes, it was seriously scary....really scary.

[Drawingablank]

That reminds me of another good time - Saturday night pre gate opening I was wandering around with my son looking to get into trouble and followed the music to Dis)'(rak's camp. Never did find my way back again when they were open, even though I could see their camp from mine 1/2 a block away.

[Candybox]

pissing my pants on tuesday

I pissed my pants on Saturday, and it was actually a "best" for me.

I was so tired of the routine of drink drink drink to stay hydrated, then hobble off to find the nearest potties. Of course I would delay as long as possible, not wanting to leave the party (Bubbles&Bass, I'm looking at you!), and then end up almost limping in pain the last few blocks.

I found myself urgently hobbling along for the second time that morning, with the comforting blue glow visible off in the distance. So close, and yet so far! I was in actual pain.

I had reached that late-week state of near-total disinhibition. And I realized I simply didn't care; there was no actual reason for me to be enduring this pain; the idea that urine is "unclean" is default world thinking, and something I don't even subscribe to in the default world. I had a mini-epiphany, and my path became clear.

I stopped, turned around, and leisurely started back to whence I'd come. I let go of my bladder sphincter and my inhibitions, and pissed myself as I walked. I did it slowly, because it was glorious, and I wanted it to last. I smiled at everyone I passed; it mattered not if they could tell I was in the process of relieving myself. I was happy to share the moment.

It was better than an orgasm. The sweet relief, the early morning sun shining down on me. The warmth slowly spreading down one leg, soaking into my leg warmer and shoe (cheap converse, essentially disposable if it didn't clean up well, I figured). The realization that I had arrived in some meaningful way, had let go of this and so much else. Peace, total peace. No shame. No regret. The greatest two-block walk of my life.

I arrived back at the party and eagerly shared. I felt like Piss Christ, with good tidings to spread. Some got it, some didn't. It didn't matter, I understood the near-transcendent truth of my happy "accident".

It took some effort for me to not continue pissing myself for the remainder of the event. It was as though I had been un-potty-trained.

(Lest I become the next LABatman, let me state that I did avoid furniture until I had changed & wiped myself down.)

So now I bring to you the good tidings: it doesn't matter. Piss yourself if you must. Set yourself free.

If there is interest, I may organize a pants-pissing event for next year.

This is glorious. ::slow clap::

[maladroit]

So now I bring to you the good tidings: it doesn't matter. Piss yourself if you must. Set yourself free.

If there is interest, I may organize a pants-pissing event for next year.

This is glorious. ::slow clap::

A Piss Clear All Over Yourself camp would be slightly less disturbing to me than the saline IV clubs.

[Bounce530]

This just may be the final nail for Pee Funnel camp...

New porto signs;

No pee funnel?
No worries
Just piss yourself.

Take hovering to a new level..
Piss yourself

Have a pissyourself type day!

[Dis)'(rack]

That reminds me of another good time - Saturday night pre gate opening I was wandering around with my son looking to get into trouble and followed the music to Dis)'(rak's camp. Never did find my way back again when they were open, even though I could see their camp from mine 1/2 a block away.

I know, it's amazing how much easier it is to find stuff pre-gates and post-burns when it's cleared out. EDIT: you could see our camp and you didn't make it back for delicious drinks? I'm telling Shepard (the bartender) on you.

I think I was playing Sat night. Man, that seems like soooo long ago now. OK when does the Man burn again? I need a re-do.

[salope]

No pee funnel?
No worries
Just piss yourself.

Take hovering to a new level..
Piss yourself

Clearly there is a lot of potential here.

And given the climate it dries so quickly!

I am envisioning recruiting passerby for a collective pants-peeing event.
Disciples prosthelytizing in the streets. (Pissthelytizing?)

A Piss Clear All Over Yourself camp would be slightly less disturbing to me than the saline IV clubs.

Wait, there are clubs for this?? Do tell...

[Daun]

Best:
- Yoga in the mornings when I do make it.
- Nude model camp
- KAEZ, Solar powered radio! 98.7FM!
- Having excellent camp neighbors
- Lamp lighting
- Thai massage @ Shangri-La
- Being immersed in a loving & safe creative space that is Burning Man
- Waking to greet the sun each morning
- Having haired washed by the Pope's friend (Alex)
- Being gifted a much needed shower

Worst:
- Greeter on Monday. No books, no map.
- RV running over my stuff. Let it do. Can't deport me just yet Amerika!
- Getting to this event only in my 30s. Sleep early, wake early. You snooze, you lose!

[clocksnmirrors]

(Pissthelytizing?)

Noah Webster and Charles and George Merriam have simultaneously backflipped in their graves at the spawning of this new word


i might have to marry you

[inthecolumbiagorge]

I am not sure that this was the best or the worst for me but it was slightly more weird than anything else we experienced......we were out on the open playa with our little MV and we were offering to spray anyone out there with our garden mister and this guy, probably 40ish rode his bike right up to me and took my hand in his.....he placed a bone in my hand and said:
"The penis bone of the raccoon has long been a symbol of fertility," and off he rode without saying another word. Strange to me that he sought me out of our group when I am obviously too old to worry anymore about fertility (yes I do know that the theme this year was Fertility 2.0) but why he did not choose one of my gorgeous daughters or one of their lovely friends is beyond me. We looked it up when we got home and sure enough...the guy handed me what appears to be a real penis bone from a raccoon. Now where do you suppose he got the darn thing?

[clocksnmirrors]

I am not sure that this was the best or the worst for me but it was slightly more weird than anything else we experienced......we were out on the open playa with our little MV and we were offering to spray anyone out there with our garden mister and this guy, probably 40ish rode his bike right up to me and took my hand in his.....he placed a bone in my hand and said:
"The penis bone of the raccoon has long been a symbol of fertility," and off he rode without saying another word. Strange to me that he sought me out of our group when I am obviously too old to worry anymore about fertility (yes I do know that the theme this year was Fertility 2.0) but why he did not choose one of my gorgeous daughters or one of their lovely friends is beyond me. We looked it up when we got home and sure enough...the guy handed me what appears to be a real penis bone from a raccoon. Now where do you suppose he got the darn thing?

i'm so glad you posted this... for the last couple of days i've been contemplating a thread about the fertility theme

i can't really recall a single thing from artcars to theme camps that had anything at all to do with fertility..... did anyone else come away with that same impression?

[Drawingablank]

I am not sure that this was the best or the worst for me but it was slightly more weird than anything else we experienced......we were out on the open playa with our little MV and we were offering to spray anyone out there with our garden mister and this guy, probably 40ish rode his bike right up to me and took my hand in his.....he placed a bone in my hand and said:
"The penis bone of the raccoon has long been a symbol of fertility," and off he rode without saying another word. Strange to me that he sought me out of our group when I am obviously too old to worry anymore about fertility (yes I do know that the theme this year was Fertility 2.0) but why he did not choose one of my gorgeous daughters or one of their lovely friends is beyond me. We looked it up when we got home and sure enough...the guy handed me what appears to be a real penis bone from a raccoon. Now where do you suppose he got the darn thing?

Well I would suppose it came from a raccoon.

But putting that aside - every coon's dick i've ever seen was straighter and I've never seen one with close to that much curvature. (my family is from the south so these things are not that uncommon).

they make great key chains btw.

[clocksnmirrors]

But putting that aside - every coon's dick i've ever seen was straighter and I've never seen one with close to that much curvature. (my family is from the south so these things are not that uncommon).
they make great key chains btw.

i saw the word "coon" and i blanched....

[Drawingablank]

But putting that aside - every coon's dick i've ever seen was straighter and I've never seen one with close to that much curvature. (my family is from the south so these things are not that uncommon).
they make great key chains btw.

i saw the word "coon" and i blanched....

Sorry about that - I would never use the term to describe anything but a raccoon, but my grandfather always referred to his keychain as the coon's dick so I didn't really give it a second thought.

[clocksnmirrors]

But putting that aside - every coon's dick i've ever seen was straighter and I've never seen one with close to that much curvature. (my family is from the south so these things are not that uncommon).
they make great key chains btw.

i saw the word "coon" and i blanched....

Sorry about that - I would never use the term to describe anything but a raccoon, but my grandfather always referred to his keychain as the coon's dick so I didn't really give it a second thought.

i'm laughing so hard right now.....

dude

i know what you were saying... i thought i was being funny
please dont give it a second thought

[piehole]

so what are you blanching then clocksnmirrors??? I'm getting hungry

[Drawingablank]

i saw the word "coon" and i blanched....

Sorry about that - I would never use the term to describe anything but a raccoon, but my grandfather always referred to his keychain as the coon's dick so I didn't really give it a second thought.

i'm laughing so hard right now.....

dude

i know what you were saying... i thought i was being funny
please dont give it a second thought

Well in person I may have actually picked up on the sarcasm (sobriety permitting), but online you just never know and I'm usually not one to go out of my way to antagonize people.

Just be glad humans don't have dick bones.