We interviewed an Undercover Drug Enforcement Officer known as Mr. Buford. He explained what took place. In his interview Mr. Buford told us. â€œ Wellll, it was a hell of a thing. These Burner types are pretty smart. First thing they did was every tobacco smoker came to Burningman and rolled every cigarette they smoked. We had over 12,000 people rolling cigarettes day and night. By Monday night we had stopped and searched over 1500 people and only found tobacco. Rex our Pot smelling dog was so over worked and upset he bit his trainer and ran off into the night. We were real worried about Rex because with no one to stop him he might find more Pot and end up eating it. Billie Bob, Rexes trainer got out some of his favorite biscuits and finally got Rex to come back this morning. We think Rex must have been up all night because the only way heâ€™ll get up now is to eat more biscuits.
At this point we donâ€™t know if we should spit, shit or wind our watch. These burner people brought in more than a dozen undercover film crews from colleges and people who just like to film. They had night vision cameras, transmitter microphones and all the stuff that we have been using to watch them. I donâ€™t think itâ€™s right to secretly film what Law Enforcement is doing when no one is looking. The films have appeared on YouTube, have been sent to our Department Heads and we have 8 lawsuits pending for Civil Rights violations. The whole thing could break our departments. After meeting with our other Law Enforcement counterparts weâ€™ve decided to make some changes for next years Burningman. We are still going to be out there in force and will cite anyone breaking the law or using drugs. Those undercover girls and guys trying to buy and sell drugs were terminated. Itâ€™s all about the profit of the tickets anyway and those Burners werenâ€™t falling for that kind of sting anymore. Weâ€™re just going to follow our own laws now. Itâ€™s cheaper, safer and easier on our careers.
Hey Iâ€™m on vacation next year during the 2012 Burningman. If I showed up with my old lady to camp, do you thing we might fit in?â€