top douche bags fucktards at BM 2010

[deathray]

Here is my list of biggest assholes at BM 2010

Clueless Seattle Prius driver "Van" who asked "how do I get laid at BM", then who badmouthed/backstabbed his neighbors after asking a million questions for help and talking their ears off. Being a good neighbor means shutting your mouth.

Thieves including bike thieves (borrowing without permission is theft).

Politically correct Critical tits afterparty organizers. Wear a burkha and hajib if you're modest.

Careless parents who let their brats wander off causing the gate to be shut down during exodous because of an amber alert. Watch em or leave em at home!

Belligerent group of people at thunderdome hysterical about their hurt friend who never called an ambulance, but did start fights with passers by.

Art car drivers that blast shitty music late at night in residential areas far from esplanade and 2 and 10 streets.

Drivers of "official vehicles", cops, art cars and golf carts that drove way too fast, dangerously and kicked up dust.

ADD/OCD Chick from Montreal who expected strangers to offer her drugs. Also bitched about health but refused to go to EMS.

Costco bar dumbass with shaking hand who didn't understand the laws regarding how not to get busted serving minors.

Camp that had a "human mousetrap" that locked people inside.

Impatient bitchy woman with red dot of forehead using free phone.

Beggars standing by will call looking for cheap tickets. Do some grunt labor and earn one, maggot.

[The Bass]

how was the theater, Mrs. Lincoln?

[ZaphodBurner]

Here is my list of biggest assholes at BM 2010

Camp that had a "human mousetrap" that locked people inside.

*cackle* If it was out on 8:30, I know the builder. He's 15th-year burner.

I asked him if people actually fell for it, and he said "you'd be amazed." While we were there, for about ten minutes, two people trapped themselves. The running total included LEOs, hippies, ravers and other sorts.

If it's the trap I'm talking about, it was a chickenwire cage with a basket in it that said "gift exchange." Some lessons that you can learn from it are:

1. People are not that fucking smart. Why would somebody put a gift box inside a cage, with a visible pressure plate connected to a visible latch and a visible spring-loaded locking mechanism, in the first place? "Gee, I dunno. Let's walk in the cage and find out."

2. Few (if any) of the people we saw going into it brought anything to exchange. They just wanted to rifle through basket and take some free shit. Hawhaw.

The box contained a Playboy and some other stuff. A few people figured it out, blocked the door open and rifled through box. Similarly, it wasn't too difficult to get yourself back out if you bothered to try.

Saw no real douche bag fucktards this year at 9 o'clock, except the hippie fucking bum that kept demanding that we feed him root beer five or six times a day. If one of the girls didn't fill his mug to the very top, he'd correct them.

[gyre]

Bless you for having root beer, even though I wasn't there.

[junglesmacks]

Maybe it was the stars in my eyes and the perma-grin plastered across my dusty face, but I was having WAY to much of a mindblowing good time to even notice any douche-isms happening around me. Never even noticed a one, or maybe it's because I didn't really care to even let those thoughts invade my brain? I dunno.

[Mosin]

Mr. Dosey Raver Asshat at Root Society Friday night who--without asking or even attempting to look around--picked up my wife's water bottle from the top of a pile of our stuff and proceeded to start unscrewing the cap. She put her hand out to get his atterntion and yelled over the dubstep "Hey, that's my water!"... at which point he gave her a blank stare and kept unscrewing the cap, pathetically explaining "But I'm just so thirsty". She replied "Dude, so am I, which is why I brought it!". He gives her a somewhat mean mug and says "Can't I have just a sip?" Exasperated, she says "A SIP". The pathetic motherfucker then busts the cap and starts CHUGGING her water... at which point I grabbed the bottle from him mid-chug... "She said a SIP man! What the fuck?!" Again, he replies "You just don't know how thirsty I am." All I could think of to say was something vibing to the effect of "I do know that you have your fucking head up your ass. Bring your own water next time raveboy."

Moral of story: Carry your own water when you go skanking at RS, you stupid, pathetic fuck.

[gentlemoose]

I was camped around the corner from that thing- it was *fantastic* fun watching people wander into it :D I never met the maker - give him a huge thumbs-up for me :D:D:D

[quote="ZaphodBurner"]
Camp that had a "human mousetrap" that locked people inside.
[/quote]

[theCryptofishist]

Of course there are those who think that those who use the term douche bag are creeps.

[robrob]

Camp that had a "human mousetrap" that locked people inside.

this was one of my favorite art pieces of the whole burn.

also, the good people at playa del fuego just across the way run one hell of a bar!

[deathray]

that was the cage that the fool built. I could have him arrested or at least kick out of BRC for false imprisonment and the cage dismantled by cops and black rock rangers but I figured let him get his pathetic rocks off since he has no life. The loser never left his camp.

[junglesmacks]

that was the cage that the fool built. I could have him arrested or at least kick out of BRC for false imprisonment and the cage dismantled by cops and black rock rangers but I figured let him get his pathetic rocks off since he has no life. The loser never left his camp.

Do us all a favor and stay home next year, hm? Take your attitude to Coachella or something instead.

[deathray]

In case you think I'm only negative, here's my list of top cool people at BM 2010:

All the fire artists and performers including Ein Hammer creators and builders.

The performer that had what looked like a bike rider on fire.

Builders of the stuff that could be climbed, tower with dome on top at center camp, wood helix, other towers.

Builder of the giant metal woman

Most of the EMS staff at the 3 areas except the chick who told me I should have brought my own first aid stuff, while 5 workers did nothing.

Guy giving out coffee and mugs. Camp giving out luna bars and coffee so we didn't have to get raped paying for it.
Camps giving out beer.

Hammock camp, Whiskey and dust, Silkscreen and dog tag camps, black rock mobility, Camp crack whore, Seratonian camp, Dive camp, Camp whoopsie daisium who fed me.

Dude who painted my back.

Costco

Barter Bobs forgotten supplies from texas.

Builder of grasshopper art car and most others.

People playing music that was not electronic, that actually had words and instruments.

People playing music at lower then deafening volumes.

Megavolt.

The greeter that didnt force me to listen to him, I just got the map etc.

[Mosin]

Unless you are calling deathray out for not informing the authorities about said dickwad-with-cage I can't understand WTF you are saying is a "Coachella attitude" --unless, of course, you're just generalizing out of your ass (?).

[deathray]

Jungle smacks, do us all a favor and don't breed. You were one of the fucktards I was talking about. I don't go to Coachella because of thin skinned politically correct pussies like you.

"Do us all a favor and stay home next year, hm? Take your attitude to Coachella or something instead."

[deathray]

In other words you were high and drunk 24x7 and never left your camp the whole time.

[quote] "Maybe it was the stars in my eyes and the perma-grin plastered across my dusty face, but I was having WAY to much of a mindblowing good time to even notice any douche-isms happening around me. Never even noticed a one, or maybe it's because I didn't really care to even let those thoughts invade my brain? I dunno." [/quote]

[Iago]

[thirt33n]

deathray-
although i like your first post..i must comment that you come across as someone who is disconnected from the roots of what black rock city is.

i would ask you what you brought, created or shared with others on your journey? what did you do to possibly be on someone else's "awesome" list?

you've stated that you don't like to listen,(greeter) so that would most likely mean that that was the reason you so loved the texas forgotten supplies camp...and you liked someone who "gave out" and "fed" you. you liked that a guy "gave out" free coffee WITH mugs so you probably don't subscribe to the logical concept of always having your own drinking vessel with you. you love getting. and where at burning man does one go to get raped while paying for luna bars? and does contributing to local charities while buying coffee at center camp constitute a "rape"?

these are my observations of you. you come off as quite ignorant and clumsy to me. maybe young and bitter. sorry to say.

i love the guy with the flaming bicycle rider. he's been around for years. always a trip.


i hope you can maybe go a little deeper and listen to some people who can share with you the magic that our city holds. it's getting harder to find but i know it's still there and you can be a part of it too...you just have to listen.

i wish you the best.
Crux

[theCryptofishist]

Inso we didn't have to get raped paying for it.

Ah, yeah. Nothing like traumatically reliving those baristas beating you, throwing you on the ground, ripping your clothes as they pull out your wallet, spreading your legs and violating your sense of self...

That idiom ain't cute.

[unjonharley]

Had a great time.. The 1% negative people were hardly noticeable..

[Captain Goddammit]

That's what you'd like to think, you 1%-er.

[unjonharley]

That's what you'd like to think, you 1%-er.

The Lug-A-Lue bag speaks..

[Bob]

Fucktards? Even retards like a mercy fuck once in a while. Isn't that why you go to Burning Man?

[Starman97]

Re: hippy fucktard,
Gotta think faster ;) 'sorry my wife has Hep-C , only she can drink from that bottle.' when you tell him is up to you.

[cahlm]

I think the biggest asshole this year was the entire Clown art car. But it was very entertaining. They drove all around talking shit to everyone probobly trying to fuck up the trips of everyone on acid. I sat from a distance and laughed the whole time.

[Lord Of Ruin]

Here is my list of biggest assholes at BM 2010

Belligerent group of people at thunderdome hysterical about their hurt friend who never called an ambulance, but did start fights with passers by.

Well, forgive us for being pissed that a 200+lb woman that had been repeatedly warned by Death Guild to not be where she was/do what she was doing fell almost 30 feet onto our seated camp-mate, fracturing one of his lumbar vertebra. He willingly accepted the risk of going into the dome, but didn't really think something like that would happen.

And since you've obviously never volunteered, we didn't "call an ambulance" to your visible eye because a.) EMS was on site at TD and had already called and b.) we're all on event radios. Radios are faster than running like a fucktard down the playa to get help, mmmmmkay?

We were a bit touchy at all the people that wouldn't make space for the med peeps to get to work, and wouldn't listen because they were too preoccupied that they couldn't spectate for a lil bit.

Lord of Ruin

[theCryptofishist]

We were a bit touchy at all the people that wouldn't make space for the med peeps to get to work, and wouldn't listen because they were too preoccupied that they couldn't spectate for a lil bit.

No fucking kidding an just about any incident scene onplaya.

do you think that "deathray" should be nominated for his own award?

[Dr. Pyro]

My douchebag of the year award goes to the asswipe that came into Barbie Death Camp in full tuxedo (not a speck of dirt on him) and jumped into the display of Barbies and began to stomp on my art! He crushed over 100 of them into smithereens. I got into his face and he said, "This is Barbie DEATH Camp, so they should be dead!" He acted as if I was the asshole. Almost clobbered the mother*****r. What a douche.

[ZaphodBurner]

that was the cage that the fool built. I could have him arrested or at least kick out of BRC for false imprisonment and the cage dismantled by cops and black rock rangers but I figured let him get his pathetic rocks off since he has no life. The loser never left his camp.

All you had to do to get out was ask somebody--make a friend--or figure out the latch.

The Rangers would have laughed at you for deliberately walking into a human-sized animal trap and then being surprised by it, but, yeah. You might have ruined lots of people's burn by doing it, so, thank you for choosing not to.

He left his camp all the time, actually, and does more toward the spirit of Burning Man on and off playa than most burners I know combined. He's old school, a good-natured trickster with many admirers, and if you're a Burner from Portland, odds are you've at least heard of him.

During the DPW parade, I watched a driver of one MV deliberately ram the ass-end of another DPW vehicle, whose driver was occupied grabbing the ass of a stripper swinging off of a third MV. Rock and fucking roll.

I wouldn't trade either of these--the crazy few--for the tens of thousands of swimsuit-wearing yahoos and gawkers who have flooded the city since this person introduced my wife and I to our first burn.

There are 50,000 people now, and a new expectation that even if something is obviously dangerous, whoever put it there must have ensured that the people who play with it won't be offended or hurt themselves. Even if it's obviously a human-sized cage with a visible trapdoor mechanism.

I hope you had a safe and awesome burn. Mine was dangerous as fuck and I'm still giggling.

[gerlachedNloaded]

DOC brought the thunder, i saw it! that and he had about 12 of us behind him ready to stuff that little prick INTO the bottle of vodka he was carrying
happened upon said master of shitheadedness a few hours later near opulent dancing by himself, literally, not even a dj, and had a look on his face like "oh yeah, im so cool it hurts". took every ounce of restraint i had in me to refrain from causing a particularly nasty accident involving his head and my bike wheel...

[gerlachedNloaded]

my personal favorite.. the spineless fuckface that i had lined up for a ride back to reno, and PAID in advance, who decided to just leave me stranded at 4 am desperately looking for a ride as he went on his merry way. fuck you dickface. personally.

PS thanks to those at BDC that offered to take me to the gate at 5 am to try and hitch a ride, then found me one on the way there. much love yall.