WHY I’M NOT GOING BACK TO BURNING MAN

[bigdave]

1. Playa Nazis: These people make Burning Man (BM) lovely. They are the pinnacles of environmental stewardship, the defenders of Mother Earth, the thin green line between the sacred playa and 29,771 ignorant burners. Leave No Trace, except tire tracks, air pollution, motor oil, antifreeze, transmission fluid, gear oil, power steering fluid, brake fluid, gas, etc. What, you thought that those thousands of vehicles parked on the playa don’t drip? How about all the 30-40 year old hippie buses? No smog checks, 6 miles to the gallon, and lots of old seals to leak. Very eco-conscious. But it’s OK, because the dreadlocked hippie crews are so artsy, so creative, so eccentric, so spiritual, and they brought great E. And I’m sure they all parked on a tarp with drip pans.

A. “Gray water” is REALLY BAD for the sacred playa. There must be something ‘toxic’ in melted ice, spilled beer, tomato sauce drippings, and a dab of hand soap. This toxic substance has yet to be identified, but studies are ongoing. Some say gray water is spiritually toxic, and if dumped on the playa will disrupt the energy balance, thereby changing the gravitational force of the moon, and thus disturbing the auras of meditators in Tibet.

The small but growing voice of dissent among Playa Nazis says that everyone should COMPOST their gray water, food scraps, lawn clippings (one camp had real turf!), urine, poo, worm casings, and dust-ridden snot. This way, we can transform the playa into a nitrogen-rich, organic,
eco-friendly Garden of Eden. Visit www.playanazicomposters.org

B. Pee is REALLY BAD for the sacred playa. Water, urea, vitamins, and metabolites of whatever drug you did the night before harm the playa by staining it yellow, and giving some poor clueless slob PLAYA PEE-CLAY FOOT (PPCF). PPCF is very bad for one’s aura. PPCF is undesirable for VEGANS too, as they don’t wear leather or other shoes enhanced with animal byproducts. One special VEGAN was overheard saying:

“Is there real shrimp in these shrimp chips? Or is it just shrimp flavoring? Because I’m VEGAN, and I can’t eat 10 mg of shrimp powder, because it’s BAD for the environment, BAD for my health, and BAD for my fragile holier-than-thou emotional state. Shrimp feel pain, you know. Have you read Diet for a New Skinny Pale Depressed America? Hey, if you don’t agree with my outrage, then you’re not paying attention!”

Everyone is supposed to pee in 134-degree porta potties, or in bottles. The Ladies can even get a ‘pee funnel’ so they can always pee standing up. How LIBERATING! You can take your pee funnel to the office, and militant Pee Funnelers can wear one on their head. The latest playa fashion trend is to decorate one’s pee funnel with glitter, neon, or L-wire. Certain ultra-liberated broads wear 2 pee funnels, one on each breast. Then there’s the CRAP FUNNEL, but we won’t go into this now. Just check out www.crapfunnel.com

It is not known exactly why peeing on the Playa is BAD, and if one is “pissing clear,” it is hard to see any major impact. If Playa Nazis were so concerned about this issue, then one would think they’d be against BM altogether. When 30,000+ people come to the desert, drink tons of fluids, do drugs, and party all night, you will have thousands of people pissing on the Playa.

I wonder… where does old Johnny-on-the-Pot take those tons of sewage? I’m sure they dispose of the muck in a very “eco-conscious” way. If you’re curious, call their CORPORATE office. The phone # was right next to the BIG CORPORATE LOGO on their trucks.

C. “Burn scars” are REALLY BAD for the playa; fire causes the playa to feel pain, and may leave a hazardous hard spot on the ground. Of course, the DPW provides 22 relatively unsupervised burn cages that anyone can throw “approved” matter into. These cages become overflowing, toxic-smoke-spewing, raging infernos as people throw in plywood (made with glue), painted wood, treated wood, paper, cardboard, and ANYTHING else. As long as you’re not caught, you can burn anything against the rules. And people do- I SAW them. But BURN SCARS are what’s really important. Because it’s “Leave No Trace, man, or we won’t get our permit next year, dude.” One would think DPW or the “Earth Guardians” could put liners on the ground around the burn cages to prevent these terrible burn scars.

Never mind all the pollution from burning paint, plastic, glue, glitter, fabric, vinyl, etc. Forget the ashes going in a landfill. Don’t question the glorious MAN burning that generates TONS of nasty smoke. Then there’s the Temple of Joy/Honor/Delusion, burn barrels, and all the art that is burned. I shouldn’t mention these facts because it might interfere with the Burning Man Experience or the Playa Vibe. Reality is not important, those super cool smoke whirlwinds are what matters. Yes, it’s as if the Desert Spirits are saying to us, “Hey party people, it’s cool if you are polluting the air, all that soot will end up 50 miles away, and eventually in the ground water, but no one will ever know. So party on- take some more acid and BURN your couch!”

2. Lame Camp Partners: You know, the ones who were so up for setting up & running camp? But they didn’t arrive ‘till Thursday, partied for 3 days straight, and then bailed Sunday, leaving trash and ‘forgotten’ but never very desirable gear for the responsible people to deal with. But it’s OK, they had great costumes and righteous E. And it’s THEIR Burning Man Experience. Who am I to question their Spiritual Journey of Abandoned Trash? Everything happens for a reason. Maybe it’s MY Spiritual Journey to clean up after them and get yelled at by Playa Nazis.

3. Dust: This allegedly alkaline stuff is not very pleasant. Which makes one wonder, why is BM held in the middle of the freaking desert? I must have rinsed my nose 100 times during the week. It gets into everything, creating lots of trash. It rapidly rusts metal, causing lots of thrashed bikes- not good for the environment, but at least the tweakers will have something to take apart, and third-world slave children will have something more to produce. Is playa dust pro-capitalism? Oh, no!

4. New Age Wackjobs: Did anyone hear the lady on BM Radio talking about the position of Mars and how we should do some kind of a communal push of negative energy to help world peace? The delusion was incredible. What can one say about the Human Race if ASTROLOGY is still popular in the year 2003?

5. Cliché Bullsh!t: Burners are so creative. “Hey, let’s name our camp TURNING MAN… get it? It rhymes!!”
“Dude, we’ll set up a shade structure, put Xmas lights on it, and set up a bar- RADICAL, MAN! Everyone will hang out at our camp! But what do we call it, man? Uhhh, ummm, errr, Starbucks is bad. Starbucks, Starbucks, Starschmucks, Starchucks, Starducks, Starf*cks… YES! OMIGOD! That’s SO ORIGINAL! STARF*CKS!!! Dude, we’re ARTISTS!!! Where’s the bong?”
Barbie Death Camp must be the height of playa creativity. Middle-aged men pandering to “curvy” chicks who think someone finally understands how Barbie caused them to be neurotic, insecure, bulemic and bloated. I’ve always blamed Ken for the fact that I’m fat & ugly.

6. Expense: Being one who tries to plan ahead, I paid $145.00 for my ticket. Many Burners paid $200-$300. Is this too much? I don’t know. But I do know that the entire cost of one’s Burning Man trip adds up fast, and is not often mentioned. Rental fees, fuel, food, ice, water, drugs, camp equipment, liquor, costumes, etc, etc, etc. And this doesn’t include costs such as vehicle wear & tear, insurance, taxes, and other things people don’t factor in. Truth is, BM is an enormously expensive event, and I find it hard to justify.
Eccentric lefties/artists/anti-capitalists/counterculture types are seldom good at economics. Why would any of the aforementioned be in favor of BM? BM causes consumption and waste on a huge level. Big box retailers LOVE BM. The anti-corporate, anti-Walmart, anti-capitalist/globalization crowd should be vocally against BM. There’s no commerce at BM, because everyone BUYS everything from corporations ON THE WAY UP! The BM “experiment in temporary community” in its present form is only made possible by corporations. Anyone have a guess of how many gallons of gas are used for BM? George W. Bush thanks you.
The kooky Left loves a good conspiracy… maybe BM is an event cooked up by rich capitalists, the Rothschilds, Masons, Skull & Bones, the World Bank, IMF, Bechtel, Texaco, Dick Cheney, Bill Gates, and the New World Order.

[Tawnee Lynne]

ummm.... wah. I am glad I won't see you on the playa actually, the complainers who can't be there for the right reasons should stay home.

[Borris]

Barbie Death Camp must be the height of playa creativity. Middle-aged men pandering to “curvy” chicks who think someone finally understands how Barbie caused them to be neurotic, insecure, bulemic and bloated. I’ve always blamed Ken for the fact that I’m fat & ugly.

Sorry but i have to comment on this specific part.

I guess about 90% of Playans missed out on the (not so) subtle sign that was hanging at the entrance to BDC (and wine bistro) that said "Arbeit macht plastique frei" as well as "Mattel and Auschwitz present" for me (as a jew/israeli) the whole idea (including the ovens and showers the barbies were led to) had a deeper meaning, as well as to Doc. pyro the creator of this camp (who describes himself as a middle aged jewish boy from the suburbs) I rather do agree with you about some of your other points but have to disagree with you about this camp. this is art.

[Flux]

Touche.

[bigdave]

ummm.... wah. I am glad I won't see you on the playa actually, the complainers who can't be there for the right reasons should stay home.

Excellent reply for 4 minutes of review & thought.

[TimberNala]

Ever go to a movie theater and see all the crap left behind in one sitting?

How about a Nascar Race? trash cans everywhere and still you can not step three feet without touching an empty nacho dish or beer cup...

The respect from the people of this event for the playa is astounding.

The funds that come from BM people for the permanent little community of Gerlach adds up to more than they see all year....I'm sure.
The car wash, the stores, the lemonade stand...

As for the sacred dust in your precious nose - wear a mask....
the smoke and ash? ever been to LA?
pee on the playa? it evaporates....as does the water....soap, tomato sauce, oil, tranie fluid, burn scars....yes...maybe....
ever feel the wind? MOTHER EARTH will heal.......

you're allowed your opinion...as we all are.....stay home.

[Guest]

The kooky Left loves a good conspiracy… maybe BM is an event cooked up by rich capitalists, the Rothschilds, Masons, Skull & Bones, the World Bank, IMF, Bechtel, Texaco, Dick Cheney, Bill Gates, and the New World Order.

You forgot the rest of the Pentavaret. In addition to the Rothschilds, The Penavaret consists of The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, and Colonel Sanders before he went tets-up...

Dave, it's really easy to bitch, as you've proven. But it would seem you still have some (dare I say) passion for the event, else you wouldn't have invested the time in your (long, valid) note? Have you checked the thread on Sustainable Burning Man?

If you have passion for the BM concept, but are pissed off about how people are implementing it...participate, and make it better.

OTOH, if your passion for the event is gone...seeya.

(added 10min later)

So. I'm looking forward to stopping by BigDave's You Fucking Hypocrites Camp next year... (grin)

[Isotopia]

Yep. I agree with some of what Dave has to say. Enough that I'd certainly sit down and have a beer with him.

[jinx_sf_burner]

You forgot the rest of the Pentavaret. In addition to the Rothschilds, The Penavaret consists of The Queen, the Vatican, the Gettys, and Colonel Sanders before he went tets-up...

Hah! Colonel Sanders!
"... he puts an addictive chemical in his chicken that makes you crave it fortnightly!”

[sugarlarry]

"There’s no commerce at BM, because everyone BUYS everything from corporations ON THE WAY UP! The BM “experiment in temporary community” in its present form is only made possible by corporations."

Personally I don't think BM is suppose to be anti-capitalist. I think the idea behind no commerce on the Playa is simply to get people to realize that there is an experience outside of buying shit as entertainment.

Don't try and tell me that corporate interests would love it if all people did with their time was buy stuff. I cite a billboard campaign in Vancouver BC that came out at the begining of the summer. It showed a kid who had just fallen from her bike, and was being chewed on by a dog. It read "it's dangerous outside, but safe in here". It was for a megamall. I mean come on!

I think you've got a bit of a bug up your bum Bigdave when it comes to worrying about "Playanazis". Yeah... maybe saving all of their pee in a bottle is a bit extreme, but I think for the most part the respect for the land is an absolute necessity. As for the other stuff... to each his own. You aren't suppose to love everything you see, but recognize it all as an experiment in getting along. Don't like it... don't come. Pretty simple really.

[stuart]

I had one very infuriating experience regarding 'playanazis' this year. Was in a big village for the first time and as a result was getting the lecture about grey water evap ponds, yadda. So it is the saturday before the man burns and I am having fun tooling around on my bike and looking at all the works in progress. I see this nicely built post and beam structure near center camp and get off my bike to have a closer look. On the playa I see heaps of wood shavings, saw dust, etc. and all manner of metal fasteners. No, it was not on tarps. A bit of other kinds of moop around, but admittedly not much, mostly just the construction refuse. On further inspection, it turns out this was the earth guardians camp. Fucking practive what you fucking preach!

[Isotopia]

Quite honestly it's very hard for me to take the gray water thing to heart. I understand that it's necessary to dispose of it out of the public thoroughfares and such - if only to reduce the possibility of some funky bacteria hitching on to the bottom of someone's bare feet.

Knowing the history of Black Rock and the fact that there's more than a bit of nasty chemicals, ordinance, etc. from the years that it was a bombing range, I find it tough to buy into the idea that we do it (or should do it) out of environmental or ecological necessity.

[clandyone]

I think the ban on gray-water dumping is likely a slippery-slope typa deal. That if a certain type of (not-too-damaging) dumping is allowed, then ignoramuses will see the way clear to dump all kinds of other, really damaging crap on the playa.

It's just easier to ban it all, methinks.

[Guest]

I find it tough to buy into the idea that we do it (or should do it) out of environmental or ecological necessity.

It took us about 10min to set up an evap pond...a frame of 2x4s lying on the playa, with a 4'x8' sheet of rubber inside stapled to the 2x4s. It was nothing to set up, just gotta make sure it catches the afternoon sun.

No big deal. And it made us feel good. Kinda like the way I used to feel when I'd climb the rope in gym class.

[sugarlarry]

"it turns out this was the earth guardians camp."

Don't know if they were cleaning up this mess, but I was riding by Earth Guardians one day and saw them raking over the sight looking for stuff, so I think they do a good job of cleaning up. I'm sure if you turned up at the wrong moment it could look bad.

[themessenger]

Stirrin up all this playa dust. I know! you'll be back.

[sugarlarry]

Bigdave,

What motivated you to come to Burning Man in the first place?Was this your first burn? Just curious.

[atari-x]

and other slogans have been bothering me for awhile now. What about the vehicles of 30,000+ burners and it's effect on the local animal population. I noticed hella roadkill this year and it was beyond cows.

the money I spend on going burning man could be used to visit any paradise on the planet. This is what has been blowing my mind too. The reality is that bm is not the only cool place to visit.

$$$ Or burn more simply?

Anyway, I think this is important to talk about yo.

[kyla]

Excuse my simple point of view here...

I can understand your environmental concerns. I'm not an expert on the clean up efforts or how damaging certain things are to the Playa, but really, if we were f**king it up, surely the event wouldn't be allowed to happen there again?

As for your comments on astology, I think they're completely uncalled for. We all have our own beliefs, sure, but I like to listen to other theories, beliefs and points of view with an open mind. Perhaps you should try it too!

[Borris]

I had one very infuriating experience regarding 'playanazis' this year. Was in a big village for the first time and as a result was getting the lecture about grey water evap ponds, yadda. So it is the saturday before the man burns and I am having fun tooling around on my bike and looking at all the works in progress. I see this nicely built post and beam structure near center camp and get off my bike to have a closer look. On the playa I see heaps of wood shavings, saw dust, etc. and all manner of metal fasteners. No, it was not on tarps. A bit of other kinds of moop around, but admittedly not much, mostly just the construction refuse. On further inspection, it turns out this was the earth guardians camp. Fucking practive what you fucking preach!

SPECTATOR!!!! you should have picked it all up!!!! and thanked them for the chance they gave you to beautify our sacred playa.

[bigdave]

I can understand your environmental concerns. I'm not an expert on the clean up efforts or how damaging certain things are to the Playa, but really, if we were f**king it up, surely the event wouldn't be allowed to happen there again?

I don't have the data to know exactly how BM impacts the environment. That's the regulator's job and quite a task, I would think. Maybe BLM is incompetent. Maybe BM does a good enough job. Maybe money overrides certain enviro concerns. Maybe it doesn't matter- it is a remote desert, after all. My point was to show the hypocrisy of enviros who support the event but then get anal over gray water.

As for your comments on astology, I think they're completely uncalled for. We all have our own beliefs, sure, but I like to listen to other theories, beliefs and points of view with an open mind. Perhaps you should try it too!

Ever seen a rigorous review of astrology?
http://www.skepdic.com/astrolgy.html

I've listened to so many theories with "open mind" that it's forged me into a skeptic and critical thinker. Don't have such an open mind that your brains fall out.

[kyla]

I don't have the data to know exactly how BM impacts the environment. That's the regulator's job and quite a task, I would think. Maybe BLM is incompetent. Maybe BM does a good enough job. Maybe money overrides certain enviro concerns. Maybe it doesn't matter- it is a remote desert, after all. My point was to show the hypocrisy of enviros who support the event but then get anal over gray water.

Fair enough.. but I see it as people trying to minimise the damage to the environment as best they can. I'm guessing they want to try and cover all possible areas of environmental damage instead of leaving huge gaps.

Ever seen a rigorous review of astrology? I've listened to so many theories with "open mind" that it's forged me into a skeptic and critical thinker. Don't have such an open mind that your brains fall out.

It's a shame that this has happened to you! It's fine to be a skeptic, but I think anything that can't be proven beyond a reasonable doubt should be looked at with an open mind. It doesn't mean you have to believe in it yourself, you just have to be open to the possibilities of the unknown in this world. And so far, my brains haven't fallen out.

[bigdave]

Ever go to a movie theater and see all the crap left behind in one sitting?

How about a Nascar Race? trash cans everywhere and still you can not step three feet without touching an empty nacho dish or beer cup...

So... the difference between these events and BM is that at Nascar, the janitors take trash to the landfill, at BM, everyone takes their own trash to the landfill. People drive 10 miles to the theater, and 300 to BM. At Nascar, the cars burn tons of race fuel. At BM, we burn a large statue and tons of wood, etc.

The respect from the people of this event for the playa is astounding.

Yes, it is on the whole. Still, BM has a large enviro impact.

As for the sacred dust in your precious nose - wear a mask....
the smoke and ash? ever been to LA?
pee on the playa? it evaporates....as does the water....soap, tomato sauce, oil, tranie fluid, burn scars....yes...maybe....
ever feel the wind? MOTHER EARTH will heal.......

Transmission fluid evaporates? I see.

[consumer]

I believe the most valid reason for not returning to Black Rock City is the epidemic-like amount of horrible trance 'music' being played out there. I think this atrocity is far, far worse than anything 'bigdave' mentioned in his diatribe.

* Politically Correct Burners, here's a response for you to cut and paste:

-- begin --
OMG! Don't you know that music discrimination is a form of intolerance, and in BRC there is no such thing as intolerance? In fact, intolerance is part of our zero-tolerance policy. Like, don't bother coming next year.
-- end --

[Zane5100]

I don't have the data to know exactly how BM impacts the environment. That's the regulator's job and quite a task, I would think.

It is quite a task. And expensive.

It isn't just the regulator's job. An EA and an EIS can be funded by anyone.

Maybe BLM is incompetent. Maybe BM does a good enough job. Maybe money overrides certain enviro concerns. Maybe it doesn't matter- it is a remote desert, after all.

Remote to whom? The people of Gerlach and Empire don't find it remote, even if they did use it as a landfill at one point.

My point was to show the hypocrisy of enviros who support the event but then get anal over gray water.

Biomass vs. waste discharge.

In other words, there are not enough bugs in the soil of the playa to eat the shit that's dumped on the ground in time for the next inspection cycle.

BTW, the playa is clay silt. When you expose clay to high temperatures for an extended period of time, it hardens. Ergo, a burn scar which is fired clay.

Plenty of hypocrisy to go around in all quarters--you don't have to focus on just splitting prick hairs with the "playa nazis."

It sounds like you were annoyed at having to follow some rules and finding it wasn't okay to treat the "remote desert" as a trash can.

[Rich]

[Transmission fluid evaporates? I see.[/quote]

A 'local' bm opponent complained about the potential of oil and other fluid leaks from all of these vehicles. They charged that in excess of 100 gallons of toxics would leak onto the playa and infiltrate to groundwater.

In reality, of course, this was just an attempt to shut down the event over idealogical concerns, but the BLM was forced to respond.

In 2001 (I believe) the BLM did extensive sampling and determined that about 30 gallons of automobile fluids were dripping onto the playa. They further found that this discharge posed no material threat to anything.

The bmorg went the extra mile in promoting tarps and 'car condoms' for those who know they have leaky vehicles. The theory is that the vast majority of that rather minor leakage comes from relatively few vehicles.

I blew a transmission seal on the way in, and so I put a tarp under my car when we pulled up to camp.

Personally I feel that most of this playa nazi behavior is just silly, except for two points. 1. It is a good excercise in judging one's impact on the environment. And 2. They way bmorg gets their permit from the BLM is by aggresively promoting the leave no trace ethic.

And of those points, only the second is particularly relevant.

[Borris]

How much Enviro damage does a natural forest fire do?

Don't think that the Man's burning damages the enviroment that much. oh and i had a look, the whole man structure is built over a big asbestos tarp that is burried about 5 inches deep into the playa, this prevents both ash spillover and the burn scar (as the clay that is burned on top of the tarp is being taken away from the playa)

[TimberNala]

"Transmission fluid evaporates? I see."

Alas, the auto fluids are damaging.........but don't you think it all washes away in the winter or is burned out by the sun? Blown away by the wind? in time we will all e~rode.

I am not a specialist, nor am I denying BMers leave traces of fluid - bodily or not, that may mar the surface of a beautiful landmark....I myself left a bit of jollyrancher flavored vomit....ewe! I did shovel dirt over it...does that mean I am a criminal that broke the "leave no trace" law? Being my first burn I am only learning these Laws of BRC....the spirit of the man and such...

about the trash left by carless entertainment seekers......

really what I was trying to say is that under the conditions ~ Burners have much more responsibility in protecting themselves and their environment than in the "real world", and they own up to it with a quality of pride I think you are missing out on...

just my stink on it.....

[/quote]

[bigdave]

A 'local' bm opponent complained about the potential of oil and other fluid leaks from all of these vehicles. They charged that in excess of 100 gallons of toxics would leak onto the playa and infiltrate to groundwater.

In reality, of course, this was just an attempt to shut down the event over idealogical concerns, but the BLM was forced to respond.

In 2001 (I believe) the BLM did extensive sampling and determined that about 30 gallons of automobile fluids were dripping onto the playa. They further found that this discharge posed no material threat to anything.

The bmorg went the extra mile in promoting tarps and 'car condoms' for those who know they have leaky vehicles. The theory is that the vast majority of that rather minor leakage comes from relatively few vehicles.

OK. If this is true, then I will eat crow on the point. Thanks for the info.
I'm not opposed to the event on moral grounds.

[bigdave]

It sounds like you were annoyed at having to follow some rules and finding it wasn't okay to treat the "remote desert" as a trash can.

...not about having to follow rational rules. No, no. I cleaned up our campground down to the last specks of wood and recycled as much as I could. I'm not against the "leave no trace" idea completely. It is the metaphysical grounds of "leave no trace" and the hypocrisy of the militant enviros that irk me.