The Mayonnaise Jar and the Two Beers

[piehole]

A friend of mine posted this on Facebook and I figure it's something I could share with the rest of you because it totally resonates with me.




When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 Beers.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls..

He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar He shook the jar lightly.

The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full.

They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.

Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.

The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced two Beers from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed..

'Now,' said the professor as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life..

The golf balls are the important things---your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions---and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else---the small stuff .

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life.

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.
Spend time with your children.

Spend time with your parents.

Visit with grandparents.

Take time to get medical checkups.

Take your spouse out to dinner.

Play another 18.

There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.

Take care of the golf balls first---the things that really matter.

Set your priorities.

The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the Beer represented.

The professor smiled and said, 'I'm glad you asked.'

The Beer just shows you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of Beers with a friend.

[Ugly Dougly]

So do you like golfing better or drinking? Just wondering.

[Nipple]

I usually do both at the same time.

Turns out, there's room.

[Bob]

Institutional memory ain't what it used to be.

[piehole]

So do you like golfing better or drinking? Just wondering.

I'm not a huge fan of golf.
I mean I've never really played golf other than going to the driving range.
So technically I like drinking better.

[knowmad]

Technically one could start with a couple of Beers.
Then Balls.
Then Pebbles.
Then Sand.

But more than likely one would just drink the 24 oz. beer and say "Fuck it!"
\

[graidawg]

did someone mention beer?

[Box Burner]

Golfing is better with whiskey.

[justfred]

I'm reminded of a movie from a long time ago. I forget the name, but I believe it starred Virginia Madsen (or someone who looked like her).

Down-and-out guy brings home beautiful girl to sparse warehouse apartment. He opens the fridge, as he says, "Can I offer you a beer...or some mayonnaise?" as the camera pans around to reveal the entire contents of the fridge: two beers and a jar of mayonnaise.

[illy dilly]

Good post Piehole!

I'm thinking I'm gonna make one of these mayo jars and keep it in my office.
Though, I'm thinking jelly beans instead of pebbles.

[knowmad]

did someone mention beer?

And Balls!!!!

[Ugly Dougly]

I don't know about the message. Is it this: "No matter how many things you are doing in your life, you can always cram more things into it"?

[knowmad]

I don't know about the message. Is it this: "No matter how many things you are doing in your life, you can always cram more things into it"?

and Balls!!!

[Sail Man]

[Nipple]

I don't know about the message. Is it this: "No matter how many things you are doing in your life, you can always cram more things into it"?

I like where you're going with this. I'm changing my outlook to, "When life gets too busy, cram it."

[ygmir]

I don't know about the message. Is it this: "No matter how many things you are doing in your life, you can always cram more things into it"?

I like where you're going with this. I'm changing my outlook to, "When life gets too busy, cram it."

*wonders is that's a fist Nipple is making*

[Nipple]

I'll admit to wanting to punch the calendar recently.

The calendar admits nothing.

[ygmir]

oh, that.
*seems my obtuse inappropriate humor has left me stranded, again*

[knowmad]

oh, that.
*seems my obtuse inappropriate humor has left me stranded, again*

Insert fisting joke here

[theCryptofishist]

Is there a simlier story about a beer can and two scoops of mayonnaise?

[Box Burner]

BEER SALAD?

[moonrise]

I best be goin' now... I have golfballs to herd!

[Nipple]

Is there a simlier story about a beer can and two scoops of mayonnaise?

Unrelatedly: I know what Dad is getting next time I'm in my hometown.

[JayBobBoy]

Dad's getting Fisted????

[Nipple]

How come everything I say leads to fisting?

[theCryptofishist]

It's the roses...

[Nipple]

I get so excited for Valentimes day roses and fisting.

[piehole]

This fuckin' thread.

Ugly Dougly, I believe the message is something along the lines of "don't let all the little things get in the way of your happiness and take time to enjoy the finer things in life"

[knowmad]

This fuckin' thread.

Ugly Dougly, I believe the message is something along the lines of "don't let all the little things get in the way of your happiness and take time to enjoy the finer things in life"

My take away was totally different and Scientifically valid.

Because if the Jar really represents my life:
Why is it so small?
What if there is only one Golf ball in there?
What if the Jar I was born with isn't the jar I feel Like I really am?*
If I duck-tape my jar does it make it shatter proof, hence I'm immortal?
Can I melt my jar down and re-form it as I chose?*
What if I want more little things in my Life? do I really have to give up my beer?
What's this professors name? was he peer reviewed?
Was this professor aware his school most likely has a zer0 tolerance policy?
What if my balls are not Golf-balls?*
Why is Nipples Dad getting Fisted? not that I care, just being nosy...
If one was to blow Marijuana smoke into the cracks, would they still be able to fit in a couple of beers?
Why doe's it have to be a mayonnaise jar? and not a salsa mahonesa jar?
Will I get the same effect by asking if the jar still has space in it even though it appears full?

As you can see Piehole; I have a skeptics mind, and way too much free time. I was better off just drinking the beer and wondering where all the mayo went.