"I believe that I was/am the subject of some horrific government mind control experiments. I believe that the government "selected" me at a very young age, watched me develop as a young man, and then when the time was right forced me into their "mind control project". My memories of these events were all but nonexistent until recently, when a single event triggered a massive flood of memories which started to all come back to me. To be honest the whole experience has left me quite shaken as well as quite scared. But mostly confused.
"It all started when I was 10 years old. My mother enrolled me in a mind control course called "the Silva Mind Control Method". It is sort of a self hypnosis course where you learn to dive down into the different levels of your mind. You learn things like how to heal your body with your mind, relaxation techniques, ways to focus your concentration, and melt spoons with your mind (things like that). You may have heard of it? Anyway, while in the course we learned to go to our "level" (a relaxed state of mind which is the basis of the Silva method). I was extremely good at all of the things we were doing for some reason right from the start. The instructor... was praising me like I was god’s next gift to mankind. Telling me that I was the greatest student he has ever seen etc. etc..
"This is where it all starts: during one of the breaks (about six weeks into the course) the instructor asks me to go outside to meet some of his "friends". I go outside with him (and let me tell you, when you are 10 years old and you are in a class room for two hours at a time on your Saturdays and Sundays for eight straight weeks you ABSOLUTELY live for your 15 minute breaks) so needless to say I was not very interested in wasting my "break time" talking to whoever these people were.
We go out the double doors and there are two men waiting to talk to me. THEY BOTH WERE WEARING MILITARY UNIFORMS, one was wearing army green, and the other was in blue (possible Air Force but I cant be sure). The instructor states to the men "this is the kid" and they make some small talk. To be honest I really didn’t pay much attention to them ( I was looking at the other kids on the play ground and wondering why the hell I’m over here and not over there).
But here’s the main point; The man in green bends down on one knee and says to me "I hear you have some very special abilities" and I said "I do"? He stands back up and speaks to the instructor some more, then kneels back down and says "It was very nice meeting you, YOU KNOW YOUR GOING TO WORK FOR ME SOME DAY!" As a 10 year old you don’t quite grasp what is really going on and I remember laughing and telling him that I didn’t quite understand, but it was nice meeting him, and I ran off to the play ground. But when I looked back, the three adult were still standing there looking at me, talking about me, and sizing me up.
"That was the only time that I actually spoke to those men for years, but what happens next is very odd. Growing up my parents were fighting all the time and they finally got divorced. So what did I do, I used sports as my escape. All I focused on was sports, I would leave the house and go down to the field or into the backyard and practice, and practice, and practice my soccer skills. As a result of this I became extremely good, so good you would not believe me (I just seemed to have a knack for it). I didn’t think about doing it, I just did it. It was like it was mind over matter.
"It’s funny because honestly I could do things that were so unbelievable on the soccer field. You have to see it to believe it. Here is how; I honestly didn’t know any better. I didn’t know that I wasn’t supposed to be able to do that, just take the ball down the field by yourself and score EVERY TIME! But in my mind, I could do it, so I did it in real life EVERY TIME. When the opposing teams coaches asked how old I was, when I told them the didn’t believe me, after the games were over they would thank me for not running up the score and humiliating "their boys". That how good I was and I do have video tapes of the games to prove it!
"Here is the thing, and I didn’t put it together at the time. When you go to any children’s sporting event you see all of the parents. They are usually are dressed casually and usually bring a folding chair and sit around and watch the game and gossip with the other parents etc. etc...
I REMEMBER looking around at all the parents. I REMEMBER noticing TWO GUYS IN MILITARY UNIFORMS FREQUENTLY AT MY GAMES. ONE IN GREEN AND ONE IN BLUE. I remember this specially because they stuck out like sore thumbs, and I specifically remember this because I was thinking "I wonder whose fathers are they?" They looked familiar from when I was 10 years old but I just could not put my finger on it.
"I remember seeing the same two guys all through my high school sporting events. Whether it was football, basketball, or track. At the county track meet, during some football games etc. (I can rattle off 5 or 6 different examples).
"Imagine how effective would an assassin or an agent be if in his mind, through hypnosis, he truly had no fear. If in his mind, through hypnosis, he truly believed that he could do superhuman things. Things like jumping off a 3 story roof and land without injury, just as if he was jumping a foot stool. If in his mind, through hypnosis, he truly believes he possesses superhuman strength and can turn his bodes adrenaline glands on and off like a faucet. These are just some of the experiments they conducted on me in an effort to make me the "perfect weapon" or the "perfect killing machine".
"When it came time for me to go to college is when strange things started happening. I was a "Blue chip" athlete, and was recruited heavily as an A-rated football player by most of the major universities. By the end of my senior year in high school the decision as to what school to attend was narrowed down to 2 or 3 schools.
"Mysteriously, in the mail I received a letter which stated I had an appointment to have my physical taken for admittance to attend West Point. I didn’t think much about it and the physical date came and went. Another letter arrives stating that I was "Rescheduled" FOR ANOTHER physical at West Point. The physical date also comes and goes. Again, I didn’t think too much about it. Then I get a phone call from someone in the military, I don’t remember his name but I think he said he was major something or other. Anyway, he asks me why I didn’t go to the physicals, and I told him that 1st of all I wasn’t the least interested in a military career because my father was in the military and it just wasn’t my "bag". Secondly my father graduated from Annapolis and if I went to West Point he would disown me. About a week later I get a THIRD letter. This one mysteriously now states that I now have an appointment to have my physical taken to attend Annapolis.
"The thing is I never spoke to anyone about attending either West Point or Annapolis. I never spoke to any football coaches, I never discussed it with my parents, I spoke to NO ONE about applying to ANY military academy!
"I did some research about the process in which one must to go through to enter either academy. Let me tell you that the physical is about the third screen they use to weed out unqualified candidates. These screens include either a presidential or a congressional nomination (I could have gotten one due to the fact that my father attended Annapolis but since neither of us even approached the subject it really makes you wonder what the Hell is going on). In addition to this I was extremely underqualified since neither my grades NOR my SAT scores were EVEN CLOSE to the levels expected by the academies by their applicants.
"So how did I get THREE physicals scheduled to enter the military’s most distinctive schools WITHOUT EVER APPLYING. Someone wanted me to be in the military very badly, and I still have all the letters "requesting" my presence at the academies for my physicals to prove it!
"By a rather odd set of events I end up going to a college I had never heard of before called the University of Rochester located in UPSTATE NEW YORK right between Buffalo and Syracuse. I attended the University from 1988-1992.
"This is when they took me into their program. I CAN GO THROUGH ANOTHER 15 PAGES EXPLAINING EVERY DETAIL; OF HOW, WHEN AND WHY THEY HYPNOTIZED ME, HOW THEY WOULD TAKE ME IN THE NIGHT, THE LABS, THE EXPERIMENTS, EVERYTHING!
This was a "Black Book Operation", these men were not exactly in the military but some sort of a private group, operating from groups within groups. You see I was so far gone and under their control because for some reason mind adhered to their "suggestions" extremely well, like nothing they had ever seen. Anything they told me to do while I was in this state of mind I could do.
"The experiments were all under hypnosis, and were initially designed to test how far the human could be pushed. Things like the limits of human strength. While under hypnosis they would tell me to imagine that my arm was a hydraulic press with unlimited power, they then would place objects in my hand and tell me to crush them and I could. Another favorite was to test the limits of human pain tolerances. For this experiment they would tell me to "turn off my nerves"; "you are in a warm and safe place, you feel nothing and have NO pain". As you can imagine they had many different varieties of this test. They controlled me like I was a robot or something, and I remember standing and walking with "tunnel vision". I had no control of myself at all. I remember having to give demonstrations of my abilities so they could get the funding needed to continue with the project.
"I remember, being in a field, it was dusk, and I demonstrated my abilities and the showed the things I could do. There were 6 to 8 men there one of them dressed in a suit was either a senator or a congressmen and after he saw the things I could do he said "JESUS CHRIST -- If I didn’t see that with my own eyes I wouldn’t have believed it possible. ANYTHING YOU NEED YOU GOT IT!".
"The main focus quickly turned from doing simple tests on me to developing me as a killing machine, a military weapon, and they trained me as an assassin. I have memories of killing several people and executing several "Missions".
"My code name they called me by was "The Rhino" and I believe I killed several people between 1988 and 1992.
"To be honest with you this letter should have only taken me a day or two to write but I have been working on this for over three weeks now. I am not going into great detail about most of my experiences and the really painful memories. Every time I start thinking about these events my stomach turns and I become nauseous. I must ask you to please forgive me, if any of this is unclear or doesn’t flow smoothly I’m sorry but I’m trying my best, but it is very difficult and painful to remember and write all this down.
"I graduate from college and I move down South. In my apartment complex, this guy introduces himself to me at the pool and we become good friends. At this time I have no memories of all these events so I didn’t put the following together until later. The guys name is Aaron and he is down South to get his masters degree in PSYCHOLOGY. Coincidentally he is also from Rochester NY. He becomes my best friend and about a year goes by. When we would go out drinking or be at parties Aaron would brag about being able to hypnotize people without them even knowing it and how he could just "fuck" with peoples’ minds. I never thought much about it because he was my best friend. I get my first job with a major corporation. Three hundred and sixty resumes for 1 spot and I got the job. So naturally I was very excited and told all my friends. The job involved traveling all around the Southeast every week (being gone Tuesday through Friday, on the road, every week).
The job didn’t start until late August and it was early July so I had some time on my hands. About two weeks after I told Aaron that I had gotten the job he calls me and asks me to come over (as he was my best friend I would go over to his place all the time so I thought absolutely nothing about it). I get to his apartment and we bullshit for about an hour, and he tells me out of the blue that "some people are concerned about your new job" and I said "what the fuck are you talking about" and he said "the fact that we won’t know where you are during the week"; and I was just utterly confused and extremely pissed off (I still had no memory of any of the events mentioned earlier) and I said "What the hell are you talking about? Who is concerned? What business is it of theirs anyway? Who? I don’t understand?" He let it go. What happened next he did not let go.
"I had all this time on my hands and I was very nervous because I had to go to Buffalo for three weeks of training. I was 24 years old and this was my first "real job" with a company car, expense account and everything. Ever since I was very young I stuttered severely when I spoke. The thing is I knew it was all in my mind, because when I was alone I could speak very fluently, but when I had to speak to anyone, read aloud or, heaven forbid, speak to a group of people my entire throat would just "lock up" and I could not speak word one.
This was a serious problem for me and needless to say I was tormented as a child. But anyway I decided that this was my first real job and if I wanted to get anywhere in life that I will not let this stop me and it must be fixed and now is the time. I had never been to a hypnotherapist before but for some reason I really believed in the power of hypnotism, and I really thought that this along with my Silva mind control could really help me. So I open the yellow pages and pick out a hypnotherapist. In the ad the hypnotherapist claimed to be able to cure many different ailments within a few sessions, stuttering was one of them so I called and made an appointment.
"I proceed to go into the appointment talk to the Doctor and explain how I think my problem is all in my mind. He states that my conclusions are "very interesting", and he puts me under. When I opened my eyes the doctor’s face was white as a ghost and he is sweating bullets, there are now two assistants in the room and they have the same horrific look on their faces. The doctor in a trembling voice asks me "DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SOME KIND OF A GOVERNMENT MEMORY CAP IN YOUR MIND"? I said "no, what are you talking about?" He is still sweating profusely, and I ask him what was going on. He would not discuss it but he said wanted to see me tomorrow.
I go to pay for the session in the lobby and I ask the assistant "what happened in there?" At first she would not tell me but I finally got it out of her. She said that I absolutely FREAKED OUT and I was absolutely screaming uncontrollably. She also stated that in her 15 years with this doctor she had never seen anything like it. She said the doctor tried for 15 minutes to put the cap back on and I would not let him, they had to get three other people to hold me down and finally he got control of the situation again. This is on a Tuesday, the doctor wanted to see me the next day but he was booked through Friday, the assistant made room for me to see him on Thursday.
"I leave very confused, still having no clear memories of any of the government experiments. The thing is I go home and what do I do, I go right over to my best friends apartment (Aaron) and tell him the whole story about the hypnotherapist and the memory cap. He starts to FREAK OUT, you went to a hypnotherapist WHEN? And let me tell you he was PISSED! I remember being very confused because I didn’t still didn’t make the connection.
I remember going into his apartment, telling him what happened, he gets very angry, but after that there was "lost time." It was between 3:00 and 4:00 o’clock in the afternoon when I went over there. I remember this because there were soap operas on the television when I was initially telling him my story; when I left Jeopardy was on and it was becoming dusk. It was about 7:30 on the evening. I leave his apartment and go home, I found myself sort of wondering what happened? At home I empty my pockets on the table (change, keys etc..) and I have the receipt from the hypnotherapist. "Oh yea" I say I’m supposed to see him on Thursday, but I couldn’t remember anything else.
"I go back Thursday AND THE DOCTOR IS NO LONGER THERE! I MEAN HIS NAME IS SCRATCHED OFF THE DOOR HE IS GONE, VANISHED, I MEAN IT WAS LIKE HE HAD NEVER BEEN THERE. There were four or five doctors sharing the same office and there was simply a space where his name had been. I go in and ask the receptionist where is doctor so and so, as hard as I try I just cannot remember his name, but I can find my way back to where his office was. I ASK THE RECEPTIONIST WHAT IS GOING ON AND SHE TELLS ME TO PLEASE LEAVE AND DO NOT COME BACK. I ask about the doctor, she closes the receptionists window turns her back to me and walks away.
"I go home, even more confused, Aaron calls me that night to come over, I go, again not thinking anything about it. This is where all hell breaks loose. I go to his apartment and we are sitting down talking as usual. From the back bedroom six or seven men come out! The same two military officers I had seen all along from my childhood and at the University of Rochester (one in green and one in blue). The other men were dressed in black. The instant I saw these men I began to remember, my instinct tells me to run but I was taken totally by surprise. The men in black leap over the couch, grab and hold me. They pinned me against the back of the couch, I had no leverage to plant my feet and try get up. They start to laugh and say things like "this guy isn’t so tough" and "that was easy".
"I remember looking at Aaron with a look of betrayal: he could not look at me. The military officer in green says "do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve been, we should have killed you a long time ago"; he asks Aaron "is he going to remember any of this?" Aaron answers no. He proceeds to punch me in the face. I am struggling to get up but I just could not move, Aaron then takes over.
"Aaron then says the "magic word" and instantly I cannot move, he tells me how relaxed I feel how I feel warm and safe I feel, how I am in a "happy place".
"This is where things start getting a little crazy. What he did to me, I remember, he somehow locked me away in my own mind creating multiple personalities. I remember fighting him for control in my mind. He said that I will do what I tell you to do. He said the walls are closing in and you cannot fight it, in my mind I of course pictured the walls closing in. On his instruction the walls closed in until I was inside a "vacuum sealed steel coffin", I could not fight it and I could not move. He then said you are being sent to a place in your mind where you will never be found, at this point I start screaming "no no no". After he sent me to a place where "no one will ever find you", he instructed that "a steel plate the size of ten football fields and 10 feet thick is crashing down upon you" and he said "here it comes, and there is no escape". I remember screaming again as he says "boooom". Here comes another one, "boooom", and he proceeded to do this five or six more times. I am screaming during all of this.
"The hypnotherapist had pulled me out of it; two days later the hypnotherapist has disappeared and Aaron locks the "monster" away again, with new doors and in a new place. The monster who claims to be the real me who is even now locked away somewhere in my mind? This concept is very scary and confusing but these are my memories.
"This all took place in the summer of 1994. After that I couldn’t remember any of these events, and Aaron continued to be my "best friend". Over the next two years I would go over to Aaron’s apartment and hang out. I remember a lot of missing time, watching a movie and all of a sudden I would be watching a different movie and it is 2:00 in the morning. Sometime he would get up and lock the door when it is only the two of us and we were both about 6 foot tall and 230 pounds with bodybuilder physiques living in a very quiet and secure apartment complex. So I began to wonder about these events and I would ask him "why do you sometimes lock the door" and he would never answer me.
"There is much more to the story--how I broke free, where I am today, are they still watching me? It’s funny because I play these events over and over again in my mind. Government experiments, multiple personalities, hypnosis. The thought that the United States Government assigned someone to "watch" me for years sounds kind of crazy. The thing is, as I was sitting here typing on my computer and writing this letter, I remembered that Aaron used to come over and use my computer for some of his "theories" and "projects". When we were "best friends" I never thought much about it.
"But LOOK what I found on my computer. Here is the first page of a 10 page document that is one of his theories on how the human mind operates which he submitted to be published.
"Memory Regression Technique (MRT)
Aaron M. XXXXXXXX
Memory Regression Technique (MRT), involves the process of retrieving past memories, and can assist in the retrieval of repressed material (memories) from the unconscious. MRT understands the process of association in relation to memory and strongly believes that specific memories can be brought to consciousness. Furthermore, MRT assumes to seize (particularly regarding the repressed patient) deep-seated memories and experiences through the aid of association using music.
Memory Regression Technique (MRT), involves the process of retrieving past memories. Memories that are either general or specific in nature. What the technique consists of is regressing one’s mind (through age and time). By having individuals retrieve information (memories) from their past using a systematical process, they begin to develop an adaptation to this process. A "familiarity" of retrieving past memories and as this process continues, releasing stored material is made easier by the individual.
Memory Regression Technique can assist in the retrieval of repressed material (memories) from the individual’s unconscious. Repressed material or pieces of information can be brought to consciousness through the aid of association. It is certainly probable that specific individual experiences / events were recorded in one’s memory through association, particularly with music during a specific "time" or period in one’s life. Accordingly, MRT can assist the individual in locating a desired "time episode" of when certain specific events (memories) transpired, that may have been repressed through time.
Why is MRT so unique? MRT understands the process of association in relation to memory. When memory is stored it is essentially always stored in relation to the attainability of one’s senses via smell, taste, touch, visual, and through auditory processes.
When individuals tend to remember past experiences it is usually retrieved through related associations (whether it was induced by the color red or from a personal meaningful experience). MRT parallels with that of state-dependent memory. State-dependent memory is an extension of context-dependent memory (information that is better retrieved in the "context" in which it was encoded and stored or learned). It sometimes happens that we retrieve information better when we are in a physiological or emotional state that is similar to the one in which we encoded and stored the information. Our moods may also serve as cues that aid in the retrieval of memories. Emotion influences not only what is stored in memory, but also how easily records can be accessed from memory. Individuals can best retrieve emotional memories by reinstating the emotion they were experiencing at the time they originally stored it, especially if the memory is associated with music.
The objective is to increase the process of retrieval. Knowing that music (a specific song) can elicit a past memory for an individual, MRT realizes this principle: more songs may elicit more memories. MRT is an extensive collection of condensed music from past years to the present in chronological order. MRT is designed for availability to most settings: classical, country, jazz, rhythm and blues, pop, rock and roll, rap, gospel, folk, reggae, etc."
A subsequent email read:
I got your name off the mind control forum web page and sent e-mails to all the people who I thought could help me. I had sent you that mail a while ago and a lot has happened since then. Since then I have regained more of my memory. As It turns out I have incredible telekinetic abilities, I can move, levitate and create objects using only my mind. And yes I was one of the superstars at Montauk from 1988-1992. They since have erased my memory of everything and my abilities but I am slowly getting them back.
"The thing is I have remembered that I have a 8 year old son and his mother is my sole mate and the woman I am supposed to marry, both of which they have and are raising my son for their own purposes. I am going to be forced to make a trade with them in exchange for my silence. As you can imagine I cannot discuss the details for many reasons. I cannot go public as the whole affair goes a lot farther then just a simple trade and if I do they will kill them. I have tried to get him before and they simply erased my memory again, this time I am more prepared.
"I have read your articles and must say that you are correct on many accounts and can tell you only that everything Preston Nichols claims happened in his books is all too true.
"I thank you for your concern and reply to my request for help. I hope you understand that things are in a very critical time for me and even writing this letter is extremely dangerous for me. But I will try and keep in touch with you as best as I can.
"People will think we're a bunch of out-of-control cross dressing fascists"