Suicidal Tendencies

[ygmir]

interesting equation, Elliot. And, very Scandinavian of you.
But, I would submit:
You, are human. you have faults, and strengths. you are not logical or rational. not in the business sense.
You have many, many connections, beyond those you list.
People here, on playa, and in "the world".
Many of us, admire and respect you, for various reasons.
some, having never met you, face to face.
I have been fortunate enough, to meet you in person.
you are kind, and intelligent.
WE need that, in the world.
There are plenty of asshats, to go around. WE need folks, like you, kind and caring, to help off-set, the others.
you have knowledge to pass on. I know, there are those, who hang on every word you write, related to the bus thread and all.
Not to mention, your kinetic sculpture stuff........
you are genius, and ingenious.
And, we need to learn, what you know.

Sure, employees.........well, you can see them that way.
but, don't leave out the intangible "human" part........the part, that loves.
The part, of "them/us" who loves you.
It's not as simple as "profit/loss". Admit it or not, there is emotion. It can't be quantified. But,it can be felt.
Many, many here (and I know this for fact), love and respect you, admire you, and want to see you for years to come, on the playa.

Debt, between humans, is transitory.......really, it matters not.
But, respect and admiration, as well as love, are "real".
Others feel all that for you, and, I'd imagine, you feel it back for at least some.

Regrets..........sure, they are real........so are leaves, floating in a stream..........you can touch them, but, let them flow away........Throw that rear view mirror away.....it matters not where you've been, only where your going.

Your existence, is a favor to many. A boon to some, and a pleasure ,to all.
And, being the giving person you are, it is the best gift, you can give.

Give that gift, Elliot, with gusto, with no regrets, and from the heart.
you don't know, how it will help others, to feel important, and acknowledged.

well, I could babble for a long time, but, must stop now.....somethings in my eye.
forgive, if I offend you all, my ramblings. But, This, is a good man, a deserving man, and a friend, to all.

[Elliot]

Ygmir:
I forget... what address do I send the check to?

Seriously, I'll take it, since we know I have a shortfall in my bag of feelgood. More seriously, I'll take a closer look at it tomorrow. Maybe there is a nugget in there somewhere.

[maryanimal]

(((((Hugs and love coming your way Elliot.)))))

I have to pause a moment. Ygmir is so right Elliot. I haven't met you yet, and if I never had the chance then it would be a great loss for me.

I understand your emotional pain and stresses more than you know. Our lives are parallel in many ways. There is a herd of people who think the world of you and would benefit from you. I know I have.

You have been so kind to me Elliot, while others have looked past me. You spoke to me like I mattered. And that, my friend, will never be forgotten.


(((Yg +100)))

[delle]

I can so relate to your story. To your uptight nature and incessant emotional pain. Most especially to the reel - that fucking incessant reel of failure that you can't turn off.

The business analogy was brilliant. It sums it all up very tidily.


I have to ask. Have you been on drug therapy? (antidepressants?) Although I can't imagine that this hasn't already been addressed, I can't see it in what's posted in this thread. It seems important to ask. Stupid as it may sound, I'd also ask if you've ever been tested for vitamin/mineral deficiencies, and if you take supplements.

If you can't lift the shroud because of a physical imbalance, it's impossible to even consider getting to a better place. You're stuck under a weight that precludes you from doing anything about it. I speak from experience when I say the lifting of this shroud is life changing.

If you've already gone this route I apologize. ...but would then beg you to be honest about your needs to turn this around. Can you list them? When things loom large they can overshadow everything else. Maybe we can help get rid of some of the ominous ones???? There are lots of us here, and we want to help.

[Triken]

I can so relate to your story. To your uptight nature and incessant emotional pain. Most especially to the reel - that fucking incessant reel of failure that you can't turn off.

The business analogy was brilliant. It sums it all up very tidily.


I have to ask. Have you been on drug therapy? (antidepressants?) Although I can't imagine that this hasn't already been addressed, I can't see it in what's posted in this thread. It seems important to ask. Stupid as it may sound, I'd also ask if you've ever been tested for vitamin/mineral deficiencies, and if you take supplements.

If you can't lift the shroud because of a physical imbalance, it's impossible to even consider getting to a better place. You're stuck under a weight that precludes you from doing anything about it. I speak from experience when I say the lifting of this shroud is life changing.

If you've already gone this route I apologize. ...but would then beg you to be honest about your needs to turn this around. Can you list them? When things loom large they can overshadow everything else. Maybe we can help get rid of some of the ominous ones???? There are lots of us here, and we want to help.

+100

[Triken]

I've been following this thread but not saying anything because suicide is still too recent a trauma for me...
but I'd like you to know you can definitely count me as one who's pulling for you, Elliot!
Everything Ygmir said is so true...
You are deeply loved and appreciated even by people who haven't even met you (yet), and I, for one have been looking forward to being able to meet you one of these months!

[wh..sh]

Sometimes all that a failing business needs is a new vision and consequently new mission.

Sigh...

[HiBbY]

:::) Elliot
I feel for your loss. of corse not to the gravity of your situation, but i have an idea about where your at in life right now :::) The world needs more talented and caring people around, :::) and even though i dont know you, almost at all, by what ive seen in many posts, your just what Gaia needs. Human society is sucking the planet dry, and its people like you that are going to be shaping the foundation for future generations. :::) i havnt seen your sculptures, but i plan to as soon as possible, and even without seeing you're work, i know for a fact that your talent would be a horrible thing to waste :::) kenetic art takes an immense ammount of creativity and imagination, to take shape, and any mind like that deserves to walk along the cosmic plane in a wonderouse field of existance :::) I hope with all my heart to see you at the burn in 2012 :::D its gunna be the best one yet.

:::) i hope soon that you can feel the love that we are trying to send you, even if it may be a few scentences over Eplaya :::) stay strong and dont let the greed, hate and dissapointment that man has brought to earth blind you from seeing how beautiful it really is. :::)
My advise? go out on an adventure :::) re-descover yourself, and become inspired. Go hiking in a beautiful place for a few days, or go to an amazing show :::) meet some new people XXD you never know, maybe that burner chick you've been desiring rests at the foot of a stage, or at the feet of the man. :::) smoldering to ashes, only to have your love burst forward like a pheonix and spread its wings to scortch the night sky with its embers. :::)
I hope you dont do it :::) your life is much more pressiouse than you realize right now :::) theres an immense ammount of energy flowing from you, you just need to transfer that energy from negative to positive :::) Let it fuel you to a point where you have no choice but to do something completely outlandish and amazing :::) Suprise the crap outta all the narks out there, and theyl beg to have you along side themselves.

Beams of love and Cups of laughter
HiBbY

[burner von braun]

((((Elliot))))

I admire you for reaching out for help, and want you to know that I, like many other folks around here, care about you! You are certainly one of the people I really hope to meet on the playa this year.

[Elliot]

"Good morning, and welcome to this episode of Elliot's Epic Public Meltdown, the reality thread where a real-time suicide may actually occur -- BUT WILL IN ALL LIKELYHOOD NOT OCCUR, I AM HAPPY TO REPORT. (I regret the sensationalism I just committed, but I will let it stand. I'm winging it a little, OK?)

This may seem -- or be -- stomach-churningly macabre, so I invite you to stop reading this thread (which I have hijacked from Maryanimal, but she indicates she does not mind.). I have turned this thread so macabre... first as the previously mentioned cry for help for my egotistical self. In addition, I am now clinging to the idealistic (utopian? ) concept that "bringing suicide out of the closet" may actually be a beneficial thing.

But first: Please do not post for the next couple of hours. I will invite you back to the fray. Right now I would like to process all that is new on my screen and in my PM box this morning without tripping over myself too much. Thank you.

------------------------------

Also:

My 70 year old neighbor lady just brought me hot pancakes. I'm going to ignore youse guys for a while and enjoy my breakfast. So there!

[Elliot]

All right, I'm going to have to do this in manageable chunks, so please hold your fire until the floor opens up again.

And please do not call 911 or otherwise send a welfare check to my house. No need. I promised you earlier.

------------------------

Quoting from memory.... "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." That was Henry David Thoreau in Walden. Are we as a society doing what we ought to... in the direction of alleviating that situation?

------------------------

Catch 22?.... On my desk are numerous names and telephone numbers for friends who have invited me to call them, night or day, if I ever find myself standing in the barn with a rope around my neck. I am bottomlessly grateful for these people's friendships. But I foresee a problem. And this is based on my first hand experience of wanting to die. This: If I decide to kill myself, the last thing I would want is for somebody to stop me.

My mother has "sliced her wrists" countless times. Each time she telephoned somebody at the same time. Nothing to do with suicide, if you ask me. There are extremely few "suicide attempts". But a lot cries for help, using more dramatic methods than mine.
Not sure where I'm going with this.

-------------------------

I mentioned my mother, poor girl. Genetics. My brother and I have similar problems with depression and such. And when we look at Mom, we see the poster boy for this stuff. Medical fact is, there is such a thing as genetic predisposition for all kinds of characteristics. Some of us have a predisposition for depression.

Very fortunately,some of us seem to be resistant to some common problems. Alcohol abuse, for example. Such a common and serious problem, yet my family has no trouble with it.
Now... on principle, I'm not touching alcohol for the duration of these discussions. If ever I need my brain clear of fog....!

-------------------------

Well, let's go to the first contestant....

[Elliot]

interesting equation, Elliot. And, very Scandinavian of you.
But, I would submit:
You, are human. you have faults, and strengths. you are not logical or rational. not in the business sense.
You have many, many connections, beyond those you list.
People here, on playa, and in "the world".
Many of us, admire and respect you, for various reasons.
some, having never met you, face to face.
I have been fortunate enough, to meet you in person.
you are kind, and intelligent.
WE need that, in the world.
There are plenty of asshats, to go around. WE need folks, like you, kind and caring, to help off-set, the others.
you have knowledge to pass on. I know, there are those, who hang on every word you write, related to the bus thread and all.
Not to mention, your kinetic sculpture stuff........
you are genius, and ingenious.
And, we need to learn, what you know.

Sure, employees.........well, you can see them that way.
but, don't leave out the intangible "human" part........the part, that loves.
The part, of "them/us" who loves you.
It's not as simple as "profit/loss". Admit it or not, there is emotion. It can't be quantified. But,it can be felt.
Many, many here (and I know this for fact), love and respect you, admire you, and want to see you for years to come, on the playa.

Debt, between humans, is transitory.......really, it matters not.
But, respect and admiration, as well as love, are "real".
Others feel all that for you, and, I'd imagine, you feel it back for at least some.

Regrets..........sure, they are real........so are leaves, floating in a stream..........you can touch them, but, let them flow away........Throw that rear view mirror away.....it matters not where you've been, only where your going.

Your existence, is a favor to many. A boon to some, and a pleasure ,to all.
And, being the giving person you are, it is the best gift, you can give.

Give that gift, Elliot, with gusto, with no regrets, and from the heart.
you don't know, how it will help others, to feel important, and acknowledged.

well, I could babble for a long time, but, must stop now.....somethings in my eye.
forgive, if I offend you all, my ramblings. But, This, is a good man, a deserving man, and a friend, to all.

The Mutual Admiration Society meets by PMs.

Next contestant....

[Elliot]

(((((Hugs and love coming your way Elliot.)))))

I have to pause a moment. Ygmir is so right Elliot. I haven't met you yet, and if I never had the chance then it would be a great loss for me.

I understand your emotional pain and stresses more than you know. Our lives are parallel in many ways. There is a herd of people who think the world of you and would benefit from you. I know I have.

You have been so kind to me Elliot, while others have looked past me. You spoke to me like I mattered. And that, my friend, will never be forgotten.


(((Yg +100)))

Folks, Maryanimal is the one who mustered the courage to start this thread. Three cheers and a tiger!

Next caller....

[Elliot]

I can so relate to your story. To your uptight nature and incessant emotional pain. Most especially to the reel - that fucking incessant reel of failure that you can't turn off.

The business analogy was brilliant. It sums it all up very tidily.


I have to ask. Have you been on drug therapy? (antidepressants?) Although I can't imagine that this hasn't already been addressed, I can't see it in what's posted in this thread. It seems important to ask. Stupid as it may sound, I'd also ask if you've ever been tested for vitamin/mineral deficiencies, and if you take supplements.

If you can't lift the shroud because of a physical imbalance, it's impossible to even consider getting to a better place. You're stuck under a weight that precludes you from doing anything about it. I speak from experience when I say the lifting of this shroud is life changing.

If you've already gone this route I apologize. ...but would then beg you to be honest about your needs to turn this around. Can you list them? When things loom large they can overshadow everything else. Maybe we can help get rid of some of the ominous ones???? There are lots of us here, and we want to help.

About medications. The first one was Prozac, about 15 years ago. Many others since. Most recently I was on four meds at once. One of them they had to get special authorization to prescribe. We seem to have exhausted this avenue.
There have been times when I felt that some new med was beginning to help. (Many meds take weeks or months to make a difference.) But even without any meds I have -- like all people -- my ups and downs. So I conclude that the effects of the meds are probably less than normal variations.

-----------------------
Now this commercial break.

About the well-known Prozac: Prozac is known for changing a man's sex drive and function. (May apply to women also -- I'm not up on that.) Prozac dampens my sex drive and function close to zero, depending on dosage and circumstances. This can be a benefit when I do not have a lady to share that drive and function with. But note that I specify both drive and function. I have found that even when pretty well neutered by Prozac, I still feel something "in my bones". Almost literally in my skeletal bones, as opposed to in my spongy penis. Apparently human instinct goes deeper than even the obvious libido. This can be very frustrating. So I would caution against trying Prozac alleviate sexual tension. It may not do the job adequately, and then you are stuck without the function to relieve the pressure the natural way.

Now back to our patient caller, Delle....
--------------------------

Delle, there is absolutely no such thing as a stupid question. The answer about vitamins and minerals is that I have not been tested. I do take a standard multi-vitamin-mineral supplement... sporadically, only.

You ask me to list my honest needs to turn my situation around. This may be one of the best questions I have faced here so far. Almost a reality check for me. Have I really analyzed it, or just succumbed to the blur/shroud and felt sorry for myself?

On the surface, or simplified, I need all the usual things. (Not helpful! ) Fishy was right when she mentioned , some posts back, that we all need even the simplest things like human touch. Holding hands. An inadvertent knee in the gut at 3:27 AM. I've been toughing it out -- the strong silent self-sufficient individualist -- since my last steady girlfriend twelve years ago. (Not a misprint. A tragedy, yes, by all normal human standards. How did it happen? I suppose that's part of what we are working on.)

There is a fellow named Abraham Maslow. (sp?) He wrote a book called Hierarchy of Needs. He's on the internet also. "food pyramids" of human needs. Oxygen at the top. Artistic fulfillment is in there (us burners!). Happy cohabitation and related matters are VERY high. I ought to read that book, I suppose. It's a college text book. Might be a bit heavy for me. But the concept is entirely clear to me. That's the realm of needs I believe I'm slogging around in, Delle. The "usual stuff.


I hate my parents for not teaching me life skills.

Should I have typed that last sentence in CAPS?

Intermissions before we go to the next contestant. Please stand by while I breathe. Appreciate your patience.

[Shambala]

This is shear brilliance Elliot. This has taken everyone's mind off the ticket issues. You're a genius my friend, a fucking genius.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress.

[Bin Noddin]

I AM NOT MAKING LIGHT of this thought-provoking discussion, but I can't resist pointing out the the progressive Norwegians do, indeed, have an instructional video on this subject:

[Bin Noddin]

Now that THAT is out of my system . . . I don't know that I can say anything wiser or more helpful than what Ygmir, Fishy, Triken, Mary, Delle and many others have contributed, except to add my agreement.
I've been alone for most of the four years since my wife died. I've come to realize, like you, how much that kick in the night, and the memory of it, means. Its not an easy slog. Maybe I'm like you, dutiful. By the time my father died we had the six years of his illness to reach acceptance and say our goodbyes. When I want to throw it all away I think of the others who matter and refuse to place this load on them. Its hard hard hard.
Maybe the "yes yes yes" project will lead out of this. Keep yourself open to it.

[Elliot]

This is shear brilliance Elliot. This has taken everyone's mind off the ticket issues. You're a genius my friend, a fucking genius.

I'M USING CAPS TO SEPARATE ME FROM SHAM:
OF COURSE IT IS BRILLIANCE; I AM THE ONE WRITING IT! (SELF CONFIDENCE REBUILDING, EVER SO GRADUALLY.)

THERE IS NO TICKET ISSUE, I AM CONVINCED. TEMPEST IN A TEA POT.


Now back to our regularly scheduled program, already in progress.

THIS MUST BE SOME KIND OF OMEN -- AND I'M NOT EVEN SUPERSTITIOUS: JUST SECONDS AFTER MY LAST POST, THE ELECTRICITY WENT OUT HERE. THUS THE LONG BREAK IN MY RAMBLINGS. *EVERYONE APPLAUDS, GRATEFULLY.*

Finally back to our next contestant....

[Elliot]

Wait a second.... "Life Skills". I think we may have hit one of the nails on the head here. Let's hang onto that phrase.

Next contestant... Triken, are you there?....

[Elliot]

I've been following this thread but not saying anything because suicide is still too recent a trauma for me...
but I'd like you to know you can definitely count me as one who's pulling for you, Elliot!
Everything Ygmir said is so true...
You are deeply loved and appreciated even by people who haven't even met you (yet), and I, for one have been looking forward to being able to meet you one of these months!

Oh , no, (((Triken))) -- an other of us whose life has been ravaged by the scourge of suicide. Glad to see that your posts are mostly cheerful. My trikes have all been pedal-powered, but....

So here we have yet another example of why this thread may not be the worst cluster-blunder ever on Eplaya after all.

Next....

[Elliot]

Sometimes all that a failing business needs is a new vision and consequently new mission.

Sigh...

Darn right! One of the factors that keep me so isolated here in this cultural backwater of Clearlake is that I own my property, it has no market value, and I have built my dream hobby shop here. So I really painted myself into a corner. But as of today, I am almost open to maybe considering... abandoning the place to some extent after all. For example, I have a standing offer to rent a room, cheaply, with my friends Peter & Jerri in Davis. Heck, if the right "vision" appeared, maybe you will find me moving back to Norway (after 35 years!). Yes, I must force myself to being open to new visions and missions.

That said -- typed -- I'm recoiling at the outrageousness of the idea. A man has roots. I finally have my dream workshop! But we'll certainly tack "vision & mission" up next to "life skills".

Next?

[Elliot]

:::) Elliot
I feel for your loss. of corse not to the gravity of your situation, but i have an idea about where your at in life right now :::) The world needs more talented and caring people around, :::) and even though i dont know you, almost at all, by what ive seen in many posts, your just what Gaia needs. Human society is sucking the planet dry, and its people like you that are going to be shaping the foundation for future generations. :::) i havnt seen your sculptures, but i plan to as soon as possible, and even without seeing you're work, i know for a fact that your talent would be a horrible thing to waste :::) kenetic art takes an immense ammount of creativity and imagination, to take shape, and any mind like that deserves to walk along the cosmic plane in a wonderouse field of existance :::) I hope with all my heart to see you at the burn in 2012 :::D its gunna be the best one yet.

:::) i hope soon that you can feel the love that we are trying to send you, even if it may be a few scentences over Eplaya :::) stay strong and dont let the greed, hate and dissapointment that man has brought to earth blind you from seeing how beautiful it really is. :::)
My advise? go out on an adventure :::) re-descover yourself, and become inspired. Go hiking in a beautiful place for a few days, or go to an amazing show :::) meet some new people XXD you never know, maybe that burner chick you've been desiring rests at the foot of a stage, or at the feet of the man. :::) smoldering to ashes, only to have your love burst forward like a pheonix and spread its wings to scortch the night sky with its embers. :::)
I hope you dont do it :::) your life is much more pressiouse than you realize right now :::) theres an immense ammount of energy flowing from you, you just need to transfer that energy from negative to positive :::) Let it fuel you to a point where you have no choice but to do something completely outlandish and amazing :::) Suprise the crap outta all the narks out there, and theyl beg to have you along side themselves.

Beams of love and Cups of laughter
HiBbY

Hibby: Great potential for thread drift here. I'll reply to your PM.

Next....

[Elliot]

Now that THAT is out of my system . . . I don't know that I can say anything wiser or more helpful than what Ygmir, Fishy, Triken, Mary, Delle and many others have contributed, except to add my agreement.
I've been alone for most of the four years since my wife died. I've come to realize, like you, how much that kick in the night, and the memory of it, means. Its not an easy slog. Maybe I'm like you, dutiful. By the time my father died we had the six years of his illness to reach acceptance and say our goodbyes. When I want to throw it all away I think of the others who matter and refuse to place this load on them. Its hard hard hard.
Maybe the "yes yes yes" project will lead out of this. Keep yourself open to it.

Now that THAT is out of my system . . .

Those silly Norwegians! (I is one.)

Yes, the Yes, yes, yes (x 10) project should be helpful. (This is where I stand in the mirror and practice saying "yes" to a long list of lovely young ladies who invite me to bed. Long story. )

Next caller....

[Elliot]

Whoa, not a single line lit!

Well then, this concludes the mid-day episode of Elliot's Epic Public Meltdown on the Silent Radio Theater Network. (Anybody remember that from 2006?)

The floor is open.

I l... l... lo... l... you know what I mean... ...you bums!

[delle]

I'm still reeling at Moonrise's acute vision at having seen behind a Lurk.

[delle]

I like that you're looking at alternatives.

Sometimes getting our dream can be the worst possible thing for us. We now HAVE everything that we wanted. And then we need to MAINTAIN it. The larger it is, the more we need to work at it not overtaking us completely.

When that turns sour we're left feeling awfully lost. If that didn't make us happy, what will?

You are one hugely creative and productive person. I can't even pretend to know what that must be like, being neither myself. I would imagine tho that it is both a comfort and a curse. Your need for space and stuff is huge to be able to get everything you want to do done. I sit in awe of your junk every time it passes 'round.

Still, It scares me that someone with your talent and ability and resources could find his world coloured sepia. I always just assumed you had resources to a level I didn't.


So how we going to find you some love to colour up this picture properly?????????????

[Elliot]

Random thoughts while I take a siesta:

Ever been on stage? Ever felt the life-giving rush of a successful performance? Ever felt way down later when you realized you may never be able to top what you just did? Roller coasters are not all fun.

----------------------

I tend to slip and slide around between straight talk, allegory, metaphor and other devices when I type. Please bear with me.

---------------------

Who wrote "No man is an island."? I'll look it up.

---------------------

Regarding Moonrise catching the "lurking"....
Ages ago I worked a summer in a factory where we operated big powerful machines. One of the men had no vocal cords. One day he was injured. Having no vocal cords, he was unable to call for help. That's how I felt when I posted "lurking".

--------------------

Back to siesta, and Gregg Allman blues on the stereo.

[theCryptofishist]

John Donne.

Maybe you could rent to trustworthy burners who need the land and shop for projects?

[Elliot]

Ah yes.... "No man is an Island". It was John Donne, indeed. Remember Van Morrison sang about him -- "...rave on John Donne".

"Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankind; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee."
--John Donne

----------------------------

With all my silly prattle on this thread.... All old hat, you know. One or two people have had similar thoughts over the years.

---------------------------

While we are in the poetry isle....

Poetry goes mostly over my head, and I fear this is sometimes the case with others also. How about Robert Frost's famous line "Good fences make good neighbors"? People quote that like gospel. But read the poem, and the truth is the opposite. It is Frost's antagonist who favors fences. Frost's point is that fences keep people apart.

--------------------------

Renting my place out to burners is a good idea, Fishy!

[TinkerMom]

Oh, Elliot..... I get what your saying and feeling.
I am ADD,ADHD,OCD,and whateverelse you can think of. My friends ask, how can you have time to be
depressed? You are always going at the speed of sound. But it's in me.

I read this some where. And it just seems to fit here.
We go through our lives with our psychic guards up, there’s too many people and it’s too risky to be open to everything and everybody all the time. But you go out to Burning Man, and everybody’s walking around with their guards down … everybody’s psychically open, and the energy just moves freely between people, and well, it just happens. Whatever you’re sending out, somebody’s picking up.
So I say, “Now, think of what would happen if people lived like that all the time, right? What would the world look like? What would that do to human potential? That’s what we’re doing out there … the Burning Man experience shows people what it can be like, and hopefully they bring it back with them to the real world even a little bit, and it stretches human possibility that much more....

I'm starting to understand that depression isn't being miserable all the time it's finding less and less shine in anything. the slow and steady decline in life till quality is just breaking even, like a heroin addict has to take it just to feel normal, depression is taking crap because its better than nothing. When you pretend being excited about simply not failing in the simplest of things is the high point of your life to date and when you get home on payday and dont have enough to eat And get to work next week let alone do anything fun.
When your choice is to go to burning man and have a week when you cant get it wrong because there is no way to get it wrong or spend 52 weeks a year getting wrong because you never get it right, it's not really a choice is it?


And this was on my FB wall this morning...
Did you know the people that are usually the strongest are usually the most sensitive ?
Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated ?
Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most ?
Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are I love you, I'm sorry , and Help me ?
Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their genuine smile and see how much pain they may be in.

The culture of acceptance, creativity, experimentation, self
reliance, self sacrifice and fun bring out the best in me.

There are times when I'm jaded and times when I'm thriving but through
out all of that the culture still encourages me to be a better me on a
regular bases.


Sorry to drift your thread Elliot. But I ramble on as you do. I have no circle to comlpete either.
Bestest to you!!! (((((Elliot)))))