Suicidal Tendencies

[KinestheticThought]

Thanks Elliot.

Wrote another poem I feel like sharing:
I screamed through the playa,
out to the world
Did anybody hear me?
Does anybody care?

I've fought this battle,
long and hard.
Through fights with loved ones
and arguments with strangers.

Difficulties with teachers
and coworkers the like.
Does anybody hear me?
Does anybody care?

I do not mean to upset you
just wish to heal my pain
I'm sorry to include you
in a world so vain.

Best wishes, lots of love. To my playa family, whom have both broken my heart and helped me stitch it back together. I love you all.

[Elliot]

Random coincidence and miscellaneous information:

Once in a while I attend Clearlake City Council meetings, to keep an eye on the rascals. Last night they had a presentation by a suicide prevention organization from nearby Marin County. They are expanding into Lake County with an emergency telephone hot line and such.

The lady told us that Lake County has an annual suicide rate of something like 30 per 100,000, which is much higher than the national average of something like 10 /100,000. Well, that made sense to me, since Lake County is one of the poorest counties in the whole country.

Then came the shocker: Marin County is just as bad a Lake -- and Marin is one of the wealthiest neighborhoods on the planet.

Which reminded me of a lame joke my mother liked to tell:
"I know a man who has 100 Million Dollars -- not happy. I know an other man who has 10 Million Dollars -- happy. See -- money cannot buy happiness."

My biggest worry now is whether to apply for my own Theme Camp, apply for Early Arrival Placement (new this year), join Sideshow, or wing it. Nice worry to have.

[Jax Dee]

Just wanted to check i with my playa family. I look back at my January post and...I am still that person but I feel so different. I still struggle but at worst I get frustrated and cry a little...and then move on. I have miraculously really started to let some things go. I have had some very happy things happen and some very sad. I have not let them become triggers for my bipolar disorder. I am maintaining my mood overall currently tho of course nothing is perfect. And that is the point I don't have to be perfect.

[gyre]

Good for you, Jax!

[Triken]

.

Striving for excellence is motivating;

Striving for perfection is demoralizing.



I don't know who wrote this, but it helps me through the days


.

[Elliot]

YAY!

[ygmir]

good words Triken!

[TomServo]

Just wanted to check i with my playa family. I look back at my January post and...I am still that person but I feel so different. I still struggle but at worst I get frustrated and cry a little...and then move on. I have miraculously really started to let some things go. I have had some very happy things happen and some very sad. I have not let them become triggers for my bipolar disorder. I am maintaining my mood overall currently tho of course nothing is perfect. And that is the point I don't have to be perfect.

Glad to hear! Only Cthulhu is "perfect." TRY and ignore the negative shit, and only move forward!

[Savannah]

.

Striving for excellence is motivating;

Striving for perfection is demoralizing.



I don't know who wrote this, but it helps me through the days


.

A busy woman I temped with way back in the day had a little snippet of paper taped to her monitor that read "Things will get done, little by small". This should not have been revolutionary for me, but it really was something I didn't very often . . . think of.

And so, sometimes, when the perfect blitz of work does not occur and I am feeling so ridiculously impatient and self-critical and irritated, it runs through my head. It's not eloquent, but it is worth making into a mantra when you are dissatisfied with yourself or things around you, or letting the pace of things get you down.