WTF

[Fufa]

Thankyou!

Now here's a good read:

http://gawker.com/5903707/can-you-answer-this-question-from-an-eighth+grade-reading-exam

... The Pineapple and the Hare ...

In the olden times, animals could speak English, just like you and me. There was a lovely enchanted forest that flourished with a bunch of these magical animals. One day, a hare was relaxing by a tree. All of a sudden, he noticed a pineapple sitting near him.

The hare, being magical and all, told the pineapple, "Um, hi." The pineapple could speak English too.

"I challenge you to a race! Whoever makes it across the forest and back first wins a ninja! And a lifetime's supply of toothpaste!" The hare looked at the pineapple strangely, but agreed to the race.

The next day, the competition was coming into play. All the animals in the forest (but not the pineapples, for pineapples are immobile) arranged a finish/start line in between two trees. The coyote placed the pineapple in front of the starting line, and the hare was on his way.

Everyone on the sidelines was bustling about and chatting about the obvious prediction that the hare was going to claim the victory (and the ninja and the toothpaste). Suddenly, the crow had a revolutionary realization.

"AAAAIEEH! Friends! I have an idea to share! The pineapple has not challenged our good companion, the hare, to just a simple race! Surely the pineapple must know that he CANNOT MOVE! He obviously has a trick up his sleeve!" exclaimed the crow.

The moose spoke up.

"Pineapples don't have sleeves."

"You fool! You know what I mean! I think that the pineapple knows we're cheering for the hare, so he is planning to pull a trick on us, so we look foolish when he wins! Let's sink the pineapple's intentions, and let's cheer for the stupid fruit!" the crow passionately proclaimed. The other animals cheered, and started chanting, "FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN! FOIL THE PLAN!"

A few minutes later, the hare arrived. He got into place next to the pineapple, who sat there contently. The monkey blew the tree-bark whistle, and the race began! The hare took off, sprinting through the forest, and the pineapple ...
It sat there.

The animals glanced at each other blankly, and then started to realize how dumb they were. The pineapple did not have a trick up its sleeve. It wanted an honest race - but it knew it couldn't walk (let alone run)!

About a few hours later, the hare came into sight again. It flew right across the finish line, still as fast as it was when it first took off. The hare had won, but the pineapple still sat at his starting point, and had not even budged.

The animals ate the pineapple.

Here are two of the questions:

1. Why did the animals eat the pineapple?

a. they were annoyed
b. they were amused
c. they were hungry
d. they wanted to

2. Who was the wisest?

a. the hare
b. moose
c. crow
d. owl

[knowmad]

Potato?

[Fufa]

[knowmad]

[Fufa]

[illy dilly]

O man! That made my morning!

Thank you Fufa!

[theCryptofishist]

I love those bunnies in the blossoming tree.

[Ugly Dougly]

[gyre]

[Ugly Dougly]

Cute kitty.

[Fufa]

BAHAHAHAHAH THIS MADE MY NIGHT!

[Bob]

Kid's just doing what comes naturally. Not sure about mom.

Whoever captioned and spammed the vid is definitely a sick piece of shit for singling out a child for abuse on the internets.

[catinthefunnyhat]

Today's breaking news...

Humans still can't photosynthesize.

Swiss newspaper Tages-Anzeiger reports that a woman starved to death after embarking on a spiritual diet that required her to stop eating or drinking and live off sunlight alone.

The Zurich newspaper reported Wednesday that the unnamed Swiss woman in her fifties decided to follow the radical fast in 2010 after viewing an Austrian documentary about an Indian guru who claims to have lived this way for 70 years.

Tages-Anzeiger says there have been similar cases of self-starvation in Germany, Britain and Australia.

http://www.thestar.com/news/world/article/1167569--woman-starved-to-death-trying-to-live-on-sunlight-alone-report



Of course, it's terribly sad for the people who loved her (and shouldn't they have intervened?), but it also inspires some massive facepalming.

[Fufa]

Kid's just doing what comes naturally. Not sure about mom.

Whoever captioned and spammed the vid is definitely a sick piece of shit for singling out a child for abuse on the internets.

I think that girl is awesome. Absolutely hilarious. No wonder she does pagents.

[knowmad]

[Ugly Dougly]

Eh?

[Ugly Dougly]

This is weirder.



TOP THAT!

[Bob]

CBS really used "Organ Trail of Tears" as the caption for that kidney story? <golf clap>

[theCryptofishist]

Wagon trail of tears might have been worse...

[gyre]

http://dial-a-star.com/

[theCryptofishist]

[catinthefunnyhat]

I kind of love this picture. This dude is beautiful.
But the longer I look at it, the more I think it might be a photoshop disaster. I realize that he's leaning towards the camera, so there's some distortion there, but can that head actually go on those shoulders? It seems... impossibly big.

[ygmir]

I kind of love this picture. This dude is beautiful.
But the longer I look at it, the more I think it might be a photoshop disaster. I realize that he's leaning towards the camera, so there's some distortion there, but can that head actually go on those shoulders? It seems... impossibly big.

ask Balok:

or Alexander:

[Ugly Dougly]

Had the family over this weekend for a little gathering. Good thing I had my camera.

[illy dilly]

I kind of love this picture. This dude is beautiful.
But the longer I look at it, the more I think it might be a photoshop disaster. I realize that he's leaning towards the camera, so there's some distortion there, but can that head actually go on those shoulders? It seems... impossibly big.

I wonder if his hair is making his head look larger than it really is. Maybe his hair and beard are hanging in such a way that its harder to tell where the body stops and the hair starts

[knowmad]

Kinda wish this was photoshoped. poor anzes!

[Ugly Dougly]

Uh-uhh!

You don't wish your bottom could change all the colors of the rainbow?

[knowmad]

Uh-uhh!

You don't wish your bottom could change all the colors of the rainbow?

BWAHHHH!
I think you just invented a new reindeer game.

[FIGJAM]

http://communities.washingtontimes.com/neighborhood/middle-class-guy/2012/apr/26/helen-keller-fashion-sunglasses-video/

[maryanimal]

Just thinking...if you had friends who didn't want to talk with you anymore, for whatever reason, don't you think they should be honest enough with you and tell you the truth? A woman I was friends with a couple years ago, parted ways. It was a good thing. She recently wanted to be friends again and I had to tell her the truth why I couldn't. She said she didn't understand. So I told her.

I'm sure people do this all the time. I miss my friend at times, but it's better for me not to be friends.