ePlaya

by **SED** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 10:14 am

[quote="Kinetic II"]I'm going to leave that post up because it jammed the channel and gave me a chance to ask something. [quote]

I think I've discovered your problem, K2. This behavior is probably why they talk shit about you on 3playa. If they actually do, that is. I haven't read it--only your complaints. If you're looking for sympathy, you'll find it in the dictionary between shit and syphilis.

Now, tell us about a rancid boil on your ass, a sick loved one, a wrecked car, an itchy, pentagram shaped rash, syphilis, or whatever.

by **III** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 10:30 am

my problem, apparently, is that i'm starting to care about the eplaya a bit too much again.

time to take a nap.

by **blyslv** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 10:33 am

Isotopia wrote:My problem lately is reading 'Adbusters' magazine and being damn near overwhelmed by the raw fucking truth of what some people like myself feel up against when contemplating what's really wrong with the corporation-fueled line of bullshit and (dis)information that billions of advertising dollars go towards promulgating every day.

I subscribed for a year about 7 years ago. Great rag. A few weekends ago I almost bought one off the newstand.

I feel exactly the same way. So is it a cop out that I have turned inward? Not to get too woo-woo, but I honestly believe that one must come to grips with the universe within before doing battle with the world. I'm not saying that you don't have your internal world in order Iso (if your avatar is any indication...) but that is how I dealt with creeping despair.

Plus often, when I put on my walking shoes, my cheap wool sucks bunch up.

by **Rob the Wop** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 11:11 am

My testicles itch.

Wait a second...

Alright. I am now officially problem free. Plus I get the added bonus of placing a rather disturbing graphic image into other people's heads.

by **III** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 11:21 am

>rather disturbing graphic image

bah, that's nuthin.

my testicles itch because they've got dried blood crusted on em.

wait

nope - still itchy.

by **SHARPER** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 11:32 am

Thank you all for the sympathy, but I must confess, my entire post was a joke :oops:

I honestly don't have anything that could be called a problem except maybe missing all of you. That's kinda weird too since I haven't actually "met" any of you yet but I feel l like have. The anticipation of actually meeting you is overwhelming and the waiting for the next BM is killing me. hugs and kisses

by **stuart** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 11:41 am

people who refuse to fuckin grow up

by **Araceli** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 11:44 am

Or grownups who have grown up so much they can't have fun.

by **Rob the Wop** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 12:02 pm

stuart wrote:people who refuse to fuckin grow up

Or

people who grow up to refuse fucking

by **stuart** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 12:04 pm

or sock puppets

by **gizray** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 3:12 pm

or puppet socks........

by **Rob the Wop** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 3:17 pm

balloon animals

they are just wrong

and an affront to balloon nature

by **DangerMouse** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 4:19 pm

My real problem is that I've got a mime in the cube across from me and he just won't shut up. Maybe I should have hit him harder w/ the telco manual so he wouldn't be mewling about it.

Normally I'm tolerant of mimes, but he kept doing that walking against the wind shit.

by **Wind_Borne** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 4:26 pm

Instructions to a Mime:

Walk across the stage so as to convey that as a child your father never let you win at chess.

by **ramen** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 10:25 pm

My problem is my wife wants to pull a geographic and move to another locale...without jobs waiting, no social support network, just get out of Dodge and start another life.

Yes, it would be a lovely place to live, slower-paced, cheaper to actually buy and live in a house of our own...wow! Been in cheesy apartments for over half my life now.

Leave all your friends and business connections a long ways away. Build a whole new life.

What to do? I wish I had a Ronco decision maker.

by **que.f.o.** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 11:40 pm

Well, after living what seemed to be a pretty much charmed life, free of health problems, and only your typical amount of american debt, the Universe decided I needed a wake up call. So...whap up side the head! From June through Oct. my 13 yo boy was diagnosed with a seizure disorder, my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer (had lumpectomy, chemo tx., about to have radiation), and my mother had a stroke. Kind of overwhelming. I'm working from the perspective that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Fuck.

by **SED** » Wed Dec 10, 2003 11:57 pm

ramen wrote:Leave all your friends and business connections a long ways away. Build a whole new life.

What to do? I wish I had a Ronco decision maker.

Do it. We're talking the same talk. We're looking at Durango, CO. You?

by **SED** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 12:05 am

que.f.o. wrote: Kind of overwhelming. I'm working from the perspective that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Fuck.

That's a pretty heavy load to carry around. I understand not because (thank god) I've still in the "charmed life" zone, but my wife and baby son mean so much to me that I can't help but fight dark fantasies of real problems, like the ones you describe. How would I cope?

PM me if you want to go over any of that in more detail. Personally, I'd like to hear how you've dealt with it all.

As for the Nietche quote, my observation is that is actually a decision you need to make, rather than a truism proper. Unless you decide to turn lead iinto gold (which can almost always be done), eventually, what doesn't kill you makes you sicker than shit.

by **que.f.o.** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 6:15 am

Suffice it to say family and friends can get you through a lot. My wife, though she can drive me nuts at times, is probably the strongest person I've ever known. In the midst of the workup and planning for her cancer treatment, she did not bust my balls about going to Burning Man. For that I will be ever grateful. Fortunately, the timing of her procedures allowed me to be gone without huge guilt.

It's been a trying time the last few months, but our family is holding together and I haven't strangled my teenage son yet. Life is still good.

by **Zane5100** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 9:29 am

SED wrote:
ramen wrote:Leave all your friends and business connections a long ways away. Build a whole new life.

What to do? I wish I had a Ronco decision maker.

Do it. We're talking the same talk. We're looking at Durango, CO. You?

Come up for a visit if ya make it to Colorado...

by **ramen** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 10:04 am

SED wrote:Do it. We're talking the same talk. We're looking at Durango, CO. You?

Hilo. We haven't had an adventure in a while. Probably time to throw some random numbers and see what comes up.

It will pretty hard to drive to the burn though. I'll have to get one of those Ronco flotation thingies for the VW....maybe a portable sail, autopilot, rudder...geez better start planning.

by **sphene** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 8:09 pm

que.f.o. wrote:Kind of overwhelming. I'm working from the perspective that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Fuck.

I had only one of these problems (wife with cancer), so I can only partially understand what you must be going through.

Good Luck.

by **alice** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 8:15 pm

ramen wrote:
SED wrote:Do it. We're talking the same talk. We're looking at Durango, CO. You?

Hilo. We haven't had an adventure in a while. Probably time to throw some random numbers and see what comes up.

It will pretty hard to drive to the burn though. I'll have to get one of those Ronco flotation thingies for the VW....maybe a portable sail, autopilot, rudder...geez better start planning.

never made it to hilo - lot's of problems there, due to prevalence of heavy drug use and crime. might want to check out mountainview, heard it's like a mini-amsterdam.

by **Kinetic II** » Thu Dec 11, 2003 11:49 pm

I posted this on the 3playa just a few seconds ago, and while it's very personal and kind of embarassing, I feel it's time to clear the air and get this out and over with. I don't want any sympathy, just read it and let me get on with my recovery efforts.

An open post to the 3playa.

My posts of the past month, if not since I came online have been very erratic and at times almost psychotic. My issues are infamous, I have/had a lot of problems. But there was one I didn't share and it's contributed to a lot of the psychotic behavior everyone suffered through with me.

After finally finding a doctor who wanted to get to the bottom of 4 years of chronic fatigue, depression, massive weight gain, and other symptoms she had a test run that measured the free testesterone level in my blood. The levels shocked her into running 2 more tests. My levels were very low, normal is 260 to 1000, mine was 102, 141 and 178.

Last Saturday night I started using this: [[http://www.androderm.com/index.html]].

I feel like someone turned on the lights and I am waking up from a very deep sleep. It's only the first week into treatment but the change has been very pronounced, people have really noticed the change. And the changes are continuing. Before I left for Yellowknife my mother said it was like I was coming out of a coma, the change was that substantial.

So now that I'm waking up I am going back and seeing how bad I was...and I totally fucked myself with all of you. I can't change the past. Hell I can see Precip's reply...he's full of shit and trying to talk his way out of his fuck up. I'll gladly scan in the test results if anyone is curious. (I won't do that on the e-playa, but I know that group over there is highly skeptical) Anyway it's not about excuses, it's about understanding, actually it's about just saying here's my fucking flaw and it's fixable and I'm trying. I put this group through hell but I put my friends and family through worse. I need to fix what I can and move on. So I start that with an explanation, a full apology, and move on.

I won't tie you up any more, sat time is not cheap and this is a long post. Go ahead and rip me if you want but if any of you know guys that are depressed and having other problems like libido issues, fatigue, excessive weight gain, and more this is something they might want to consider checking. It's not a problem for older guys, if you don't have a healthy lifestyle this is the price you pay. Anyway the board is a lot better since I quit posting..I'll shut up and let it get back to normal again.

Kinetic II
On location: Yellowknife, Northwest Territories, Canada.

by **que.f.o.** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 2:23 am

Thanks Sphene, appreciate the thoughts.

Q

by **DangerMouse** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 8:12 am

Kinetic II wrote:I feel like someone turned on the lights and I am waking up from a very deep sleep.

Um, good luck and I hope it sticks???

by **Guest** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 11:19 am

Kinetic II wrote:and let me get on with my recovery efforts.

Go K go!

Take care of yourself, and peace.

by **alice** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 3:56 pm

i'm happy for you, k. went thru something very similar recently, hormonal imbalance and all, and it just feels wonderful knowing what the problem is and being able to address it. it's an adjustment, to be sure, but that light at the end of the tunnel becomes stronger and more radient with time. best of luck - it will get better.

having been rather strident myself, at times, i find your vitriol and candor not at all offensive. the honesty and no-bullshit attitude is something i can appreciate. besides, if we can't get get cranky with each other here and then kiss and make up, what's the point?

by **SED** » Fri Dec 12, 2003 9:44 pm

Right on, Alice.

And let's all keep in mind that until we actually meet, we're all just flickering pixels.

Maybe it's better that way.

And K., you keep trying to figure it out, alright? It's all anyone else is doing, even those who seem so self-assured. We all cry and that's okay. And it will always be true that you only have to get up one more time than you've been knocked down to be a winner.

by **ramen** » Sun Dec 14, 2003 10:08 pm

alice wrote:never made it to hilo - lot's of problems there, due to prevalence of heavy drug use and crime. might want to check out mountainview, heard it's like a mini-amsterdam.

Alice,

Wish me luck, we're buying a house there soon, though probably not in Hilo proper. My wife's there now sick with some kind of flu. So far as I know, she's not experienced anything close to what you are saying.

Kinetic - babble all you want dude. I'm sure I speak only for myself when i say I 90% of everying is noise, 10% signal. if it makes you feel better to dump your karmic intertia here then by all means do so.

ePlaya

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