your stupid joke here

[Badger]

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

A: One is made of plastic and unsafe for children to play with, the other is to carry groceries.

[Last Real Burner]

Q:What do Michael Jackson and KMart have in common.

A:Boys pants half off.

"this joke in no way reflect the opinion of the bearer other than as tongue in cheek humor concerning Mikes accusations."
candidly,
mr smith

[Keltoi]

How do you tell time at Jackson's Neverland?

When the big hand touches the little hand

Sick and twisted joke of the day....brought to you by your local radio station in the midwest

[Last Real Burner]

Two guys sitting at a bar...

Guy 1: I just quit my job.

Guy 2: Does your boss Know yet?

Guy 1: Know, it was his idea!

[DE FACTO]

A joke from Dave Chapelle :


What did the five fingers say to the face?
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Slapp !

[Guest]

what did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

make me one with everything.

Take care of yourself Alice.

i've found love.

here's some for you.

[DVD Burner]

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

Officer: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?
Driver: It's not my car. I stole it.
Officer: The car is stolen?
Driver: That's right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?
Driver: Yes sir. That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
Driver: Sure. Here it is.
It was valid.
Captain: Who's car is this?
Driver: It's mine, officer. Here's the registration.
Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?
Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.
Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.
Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there's a body in it.
Driver: No problem.
Trunk is opened; no body.
Captain: I don't understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

[DVD Burner]

One hungry Bush

One day George W. Bush and Dick Cheney walk into a diner. A waitress walks up to them and asks if she can take their order. Bush leans close to her and says, "Honey, can I have a quickie?"
The waitress is appalled and yells at the President about women's rights and storms away.

Cheney then says to Bush, "George, its pronounced 'quiche'."

Famous George W. Quotes (Honest to goodness, they're straight from his mouth)


"I believe Men and Fish can coexist together peacfully."

"I support Latino owned buisnesses, women owned buisnesses, and every other kind of person owned buisnesses."

[unjonharley]

The guy always insist the lights be turned off during sex. After 20 years the wife finaly switches the light on one night. The guy has a sex toy. So thats what has been going on, she said. I think you should explane this. The guy said: I'll explane this, if you explane the kids.

[Dustdevil]

At Michael Jacksons' house, what time is it when the big hand is one the little hand.

Bedtime.......

[shitmouse]

ok,

Q: what do you call cheese that's not yours?

A: not 'cho cheese

...heh...cough.....

[Captain Goddammit]

This is insanely funny: The Lonely Astronaut

[cowboyangel]

Gee, Am I dead yet?

[depros]

A guy is invited to a costume party. The only catch is that you must dress up as a particular emotion or feeling. He wants to come up with something original and after a few days of contemplating it, he comes up with a great idea. He builds a device where he can hang a bowl of custard from his belt.
He shows up at the party buck naked with his dick sticking in the bowl of custard. Everyone is staring at him with startled looks on their faces. He knows his costume is the best at the party so he doesn't care at all. He walks up to two girls. He says to the first girl, "hey, you're all dressed in green, you must be green with envy". She nods her head. He turns to the second girl, who is all dressed in blue and says, "you must be sad". The second girls nods her head and still in shock at his costume asks, "what emotion are you dressed as?"
He smiles and says, "I'm fucking disgusted!"

[robotland]

Why wouldn't the Philharmonic hire Dr. Megavolt?













.......because he's a lousy conductor.

[cowboyangel]

Condoleezza Rice

[Lilly Flower]

Condoleezza Rice

Colin Powell.

Army Lt. Gen. William G. Boykin

Condoleezza Rice's hair dew.

[poeticphoto]

An apple, a banana, and a turd are floating down a stream. The turd glares at the two fruit and mumbles, "Damn, this stream is fruity..." The banana then turns to the apples and says "You hear that shit?!"

[Bambi of Finland]

How do you give a redneck a circumcision?

Kick his sister in the chin.

[unjonharley]

How do you give a redneck a circumcision?

Kick his sister in the chin.

/\
That's not fair, when i have a full cup of coffee in my hands.

[Ranger Genius]

How many homeopathic healers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


.000000000000005

[cowboyangel]

an honest congressional hearing

[cowboyangel]

what do you get when you cross a war hero with a air national guard deserter?

[samtzu]

How flaky is it to desert from the fucking Air National Guard??? That's about the same as deserting the Boy Scouts...

[unjonharley]

How flaky is it to desert from the fucking Air National Guard??? That's about the same as deserting the Boy Scouts...

/\
Are we having desert now?;>)?;>)?

[RingO'Fire]

OK, here's one.

Three midgets are sitting around talking about their lives and their lack of accomplishments. One of the midgets speaks up, "Hey, I've got an idea! I'll bet we could set some records in the Guinness Book of World Records! I'll bet I've got the world's smallest hands!"

The second midget speaks up, "Hey! That's a great idea! I bet I've got the world's smallest feet!"

The third midget pipes in, "I bet I've got the world's smallest penis!"

So, off they go to Guinness World Records headquarters in London. They're sitting in the reception area, waiting to be examined by an official judge from the Guiness organization.

The first midget goes back with the judge and then comes out a short time later. He is ecstatic. "I did it! I set the record! I've got the world smallest hands!"

The second midget goes back with the judge and comes out a short time later. He is also ecstatic. "I set the record! I've got the world's smallest feet!"

The third midget goes back with the judge and comes out a short time later. He looks all sad and dejected. His midget buddies ask him what's wrong. Then he says, "Who the hell is cowboyangel?"

[cowboyangel]

well...that's just cute ain't it?

[Rob the Wop]

The desk clerk at a sex shop is sitting behind the counter, just twiddling his thumbs when an old lady walks in. The clerk tells her to look around and ask if she has any questions.

The lady is wandering around the shop, and then looks over at the clerk and asks, "How much are these white dildos?"

The clerk looks over at where she's at and says, "Fifteen bucks."

The lady then wanders around a bit longer and says, "Oh my! Look at the size of these! How much are these black dildos?"

The clerks looks over at where she's at and says, "Twenty bucks."

The lady wanders about a bit longer and suddenly exclaims, "My word! Would you look at this this! How much are the plaid dildos?"

The clerk looks over at where she's at and says, "Plaid!? Uhm... those are fifty bucks..."

The lady grabs it, brings it over to the counter, pays for it, and leaves.

The store manager comes in about ten minutes later and asks, "So how is business going?"

The clerk looks over at the manager and says, "Pretty good, a lady came and looked over the white dildos and the black dildos. I ended up selling her your thermos for fifty bucks."

[cowboyangel]

A lawyer in a limo passed a family on the roadside eating grass.
He instructed the driver to pull over to have a better look. The Lawyer got out and asked the poor folks why they were eating grass. They said they ran out of money and had nothing else to eat. The lawyer then invited them into the limo telling them that he was going to take them to his place for a meal. Upon hearing this, another poor grass eating family came out of the thicket only to be invited by the lawyer to also partake of a meal at his own private estate. They all crammed into the limo for the ride. After some time the lawyer said….”Ah, here we are, I’m sure you will all like it here very much, I’ve got about 2 acres of very high grass”.

[shitmouse]

Q: why can't a bicycle stand up on it's own?




A: it's too tired.

ta daaa.
-b