Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet is Hiring Qualified Employees

[BurningBribe]

Do you have what it takes to change the world? If you join our team, changing the world is just the beginning.

Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet (CSTO) is Black Rock City’s oldest and largest providers of high quality soulmates at rock bottom prices. Established in 1998, CSTO has serviced a large percentage of Black Rock by providing a highly personal experience to each of our customers who have chosen us as their source for a new soulmate.

Due to the recent upswing in the economy and the commensurate growth in Black Rock, CSTO is hiring for a number of full-time permanent positions to staff our our store. This is where you come in: we want you to join our team!

Job duties will include:

Realizing you're awesome, participating in camp activities, work a couple of shifts in the CSTO store, connecting with customers & coworkers in a meaningful way, yelling at hippies to bring their own damn water, filling in forms, interfacing with a supercomputer, mocking Canadians, singing like a fool, feeding bears & bats, experiencing joy, experiencing exhaustion, loving your job, meeting the best & the worst that BRC has to offer.

Benefits include but are not limited to:

Two square meals a day, showers, shade, sarcasm, frosty beverages, amazing & sexy coworkers, being apart of a mob of Catholic school girls terrorizing the playa one night, leveraged knowledge transfer and as much dust as you desire.

If you are interested in finding out if you would be a good match for our camp please contact us at cstosouls@gmail.com. Someone from our human resources department will get back to you shortly.

Costco Soulmate Trading Outlet is an equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, gender, age or being Canadian.

[BurningBribe]

Job Description: CSR
Customer Service Representatives play a crucial and active role in CSTO. We are looking to right-sizing the workforce and shift to a goal-orientated stewardship system may facilitate an out-of-the-box business case that leads to complete capitalization of our market segment. As a CSR, qualified candidates will assist customers in their soulmate quest through extensive one-on-one interviews at our BRC location. More specifically, they will run around drunk and dirty helping other drunk and dirty people form interpersonal, touchy-feely, soulmate-type connections with one another. A company that can evolve faithfully will (at some point) be able to embrace defiantly.
In addition, candidates will be responsible for dressing like a Catholic School Girl, memorizing Sheena Easton's entire catalogue, cooking bacon, drinking Earl Grey and British Breakfast teas, and occasionally talking like a pirate. Advanced skills in the realm of stopping, dropping, and rolling may come in handy. This is a full time position with excellent vacation benefits.

[junglesmacks]

Good sir:


I bow to you.




Carry on.

[moonrise]

I'm Canadian and the Sheena Easten cataloge thing, well...I think I'll pass, but thank you just the same and I'm sure you'll find qualified CSR's in no time flat.

BTW, do have costco parent trading post outlets? I''d like some better parents and I'm sure there are some parents seeking better kids. Could be fun, if even just for the day...I'm a really goooood, fun kid at heart.

[BurningBribe]

You don't like Morning Train first thing as your alarm clock?