Louise and I have a page with hints for quick meals on the playa:
http://www.cieux.com/bm/quickMeals.html
We've used HeaterMeals for years; they have a magnesium powder thing that you add water too for heat - warms the food up for you without a stove. Datrex and Mainstay are survival rations for sailors - no cooking, just huge amounts of calories in a very dense cookie or cakey thing. We've tried those, too. Not as bad as I expected, but I wouldn't want to live off them. No stove needed to prepare those and similar items on that page.
Several of the suggestions on the page are boil-in-the-bag, so you would need a stove to prepare them, but there are gluten-free, animal-free, lactose-free, kosher, and more special diet entrees you can buy already prepared.
There are also products called Sizzle Sack (some guys I know have their own sizzle sacks, but that's different) and Zesto Therm. These products are the magnesium powder that you add water to for heat. Add your own food to the Sizzle Sack or Zesto Therm and heat your meal. I haven't tried it. I will assure you, though, that it won't boil water. HeaterMeals has the same thing, and it will heat your food, but it's not going to be boiled or scalding hot.
See also the link to Minimus. Minimus sells small, individual serving packs of everything: hand lotion, mustard, salt, salad dressing, toothpaste, wipes, and more. There's a trade off between having single-serving sizes that won't spoil and MOOP. If you're backpacking in, single serving sizes of mustard or soy sauce may be the difference between having it and not having it. You get to choose; Burners know they pack it in, they pack it out. Minimus has lots of travel items that gets you in under TSA limits for toothpaste, sanitizers, and such.
Louise and I don't eat MREs because each meal gives us our full daily dose of calories, salt, fat, etc. I'm sure this is great for guys in combat and great for those at Burning Man that eat one meal a day. We do three squares because one of us has hypoglycemia, requiring regular meals.
This brings me to -- all the advice is offered in good faith by people that the advice works for. They expect their advice to work for everybody. It won't. It's up to each person getting the advice to determine whether it will work for them. You know your needs, and we don't, so use your judgment and either ignore some suggestions completely or warp the advice so that it fits your special needs.