Why does this happen?

[MortalCyn]

I've never been to Burning Man, but I've been checking out the site and message boards and I'm really interested! I'm actually going to write a paper about this message board in particular.

So, I have questions for you all--who did you meet in Black Rock City? Why do you think you connected so well? What is it about Burning Man that makes people fall in love so suddenly?

If you want to contact me personally, that's awesome--mortal_cyn@hotmail.com. It would be great to have a sort of public discussion, though, since that seems to be the nature of these message boards, and I think Burning Man in general.

I'm really excited to hear what people think!

MortalCyn

[Badger]

[removed by the author]

[MortalCyn]

Actually, Badger, the whole point of the paper is to establish contact with the people who are involved in the Burning Man project using online resources. I didn't realize it came off as a cop out. The way I see it, putting yourself out there and risking the kind of rejection that you just handed me is a thousand times harder than reading a library full of books.

Cyn

[blyslv]

Actually, Badger, the whole point of the paper is to establish contact with the people who are involved in the Burning Man project using online resources. I didn't realize it came off as a cop out. The way I see it, putting yourself out there and risking the kind of rejection that you just handed me is a thousand times harder than reading a library full of books.

Cyn

I don't mean to speak for Badger, but I think it might be a bit hasty to say his question was a rejection. The very open ended questions you asked are very difficult to answer. You will get a better and more thoughtful response if you narrow the questions, tell us the topic of the paper, maybe even explain your thesis.

I met a boatload of people (ooppps wrong theme)... The amount of people I met was unbelievable. Also I did not fall in love. I would like to help with your paper, but you haven't given me much to work with yet.

I appreciate your courage in putting yourself out there, and encourage you to put some more thought into how eplayans might help with your research.

[MortalCyn]

Thanks, blyslv

I guess I will explain a little better--

I was checking out the website because my research methods professor said it was a good place to start. Basically, the given assignment is to establish contact with an online resource in order to understand what Burning Man is. I checked out this forum in particular, and it gave me a lot of ideas about Burning Man as a venue for liminality, where people turn everything upside down and the entire time in Black Rock is sacred time, outside of the secular world. Because social roles don't exist in sacred time, the opportunity arises for unrestrained communitas, which is the communion of people's true selves without the layers of social status, economic background, work environment, etc. I can't think of a better form of communitas than the connections (romantic or otherwise) described in this forum, and I wonder if the participants feel that these connections were forged as a result of the festival itself, the mindset with which they went into the festival, or perhaps just fate. I didn't want to completely expunge my thesis because I wanted the stories to be unadulterated, but there you go. I hope this helps people open up a little. Even if it's a personal email (mortal_cyn@hotmail.com), I'd love to hear about people's experiences.

[blyslv]

I can't think of a better form of communitas than the connections (romantic or otherwise) described in this forum, and I wonder if the participants feel that these connections were forged as a result of the festival itself, the mindset with which they went into the festival, or perhaps just fate.

Interesting. Can you come up 10-15 easily answered questions that will help people give you the information you need? It is a more difficult task then it seems. Maybe it would help if you ran it by your prof.

Also, see the L word thread.

BTW I lived in South Royalton for 3 years, and I always miss Vermont terribly this time of year.

[Chai Guy]

who did you meet in Black Rock City?

Lot's of people, really it would take a book for me to tell you about everybody I met, but mostly I go there to meet with myself.

Why do you think you connected so well?

Ecstacy

What is it about Burning Man that makes people fall in love so suddenly?

Lot's and lot's of Ecstacy

[DE FACTO]

who did you meet in Black Rock City?

Lot's of people, really it would take a book for me to tell you about everybody I met, but mostly I go there to meet with myself.

Why do you think you connected so well?

Ecstacy

What is it about Burning Man that makes people fall in love so suddenly?

Lot's and lot's of Ecstacy

Speaking of Ecstacy

viewtopic.php?t=2079&start=0&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=

[chadbalster]

Burning Man as a venue for liminality, where people turn everything upside down and the entire time in Black Rock is sacred time, outside of the secular world. Because social roles don't exist in sacred time, the opportunity arises for unrestrained communitas, which is the communion of people's true selves without the layers of social status, economic background, work environment, etc

.

it's a community for the sake of community (it's not like the playa is an easy place to camp on/get to). gettin together and share and laugh, dance and cry, watch the sun and moon and stars and all the glowsticks in between. and it doesn't matter if you're a naked desert nymph who serves coffee in the secular world, or a hermit glassblower who lives in the woods and gets to burningman just to talk to people...but don't forget that this year was about blurring the line between secular and sacred...i found more of the sacred in the secular world after the burn because of the burn...

[madmatt]

MortalCyn

Badger said:
"It'd be really cool if you people can help me reduce the amount of work I actually have to do in putting this paper together" Sorry if I come across as being hard hearted kiddo but I personally find academic endeavors such as the one you're trying to pull off here to be a bit lazy.

I'm sorry this had to be the first response to your proposal, which was unskeptical and openminded and sincere.

It sounds like a great project. And, having studied anthropology and now being a journalist, one of the things I can tell the academic side is missing is a dynamic interaction and participation of the peopel or things being studied for the sake of varying degrees of distanced observation or participation. (journalism has more of that, but downside is its always event-driven) Tapping into, reading and using one of the tools of communication and cohesion that the BM community uses is a very good idea. (be sure and read the threads people have posted on how many people use the board and in what ways, cause in a lot of ways it's not that representative of BM people, though I doubt you could ever categorize them as a whole besides to say, they all go to Burning Man.)

[madmatt]

Sorry, I forgot to respond to your questions.

I didn't fall in love or have any romantic encounters in the three years I was part of BM. I had a girlfriend but went alone the first time. That was actually really great, cause I didn't cocoon with her, or have to worry about someone else's experience there. I didn't actually meet that many people besides very brief but meaningful encounters. I was with my brother and his wife, and I had just returned to live in LA after having lived in Amsterdam for 9 years. Going to BM after hearing my brother rant about it since like 1994 and while I was so down about leaving all my friends and my amazing life in Amsterdam really boosted my spirits.

The second year, I took my girlfriend, totally new and different. This time we met and got to know LOTS of people. At BM it's like the social inhibition that separates total strangers just disappears. A lot of it I think is because the context of normal life where we build those walls to sort of encapsulate and understand and manage our lives, is totally gone. It's a totally blank canvas in every way, there is no pretense, so every human being out there is just a human being, not a POLICEMAN, BOSS, COLLEAGUE, STRANGER ON THE SUBWAY WHOSE EYES YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK IN, BEGGAR, STORE CLERK, DR., LAWYER, and every other role you pre-attribute people to. A big part of that separation from your regular life is the whole temporary thing and the survival aspect of BM. It's not a utopia like some outsiders say we think it is. You'd probably die on the playa if you stayed long enough, just from absorbing so much of the lake bed minerals.

The booze and drugs help, but that state of mind out there is there without it. I think the bonds people form at BM (including falling in love) are similar to what happens to people who meet each other backpacking through south america or asia. They share an intense and formative experience that reveals things about themselves and each other that you might never see in another person after knowing them for years. At BM its the same thing. I don't know anything about most of the people I made friends with at BM, but I know what they look like in their underwear and what their inner child looks like if you opened his cage and kicked his ass out into the sun for a week into the worlds greatest playground.

Do you know someone better when you've seen them pursuing their bestial, primortial desires and expressing their imagination wildly for a really short time, or when you've had casual dinners and phone conversations with them for years?

Matt@Joycamp

[Chai Guy]

Ok, what Matt Said (and ecstacy).

[madmatt]

Yeah, and the xtc really helped get the conversations going.

[mr. wrong]

first off, I'd just like to say that I think the idea is great, and you've caught way too much hell here.
I have had romantic liasons at Burning Man, and they have been strong bonds that continue into the outside world. I've made out iwth people that I never talked to again, but I do not tend to leave burning man behind when I drive past Gerlach.
I believe that your suspicion, i.e. that Burning Man is a sort of reversed world where everything is Different, is correct. It isn't sacred, per se; this is a highly personal thing, but for me, it's quite secular, a place where you can be free to disregard all the claptrap about proper behavior, social mores, protestant work ethic, etc etc. I know other people find God, some on a regular, pharmaceutically-determined basis, but no amount of hallucinogenic magic has ever revealed his visage to ME. And before anyone pulls ye olde druggie badass argument on me: I have definitely taken my fair share and more.
There's an interesting phenomenon here in the sacred-secular contrast: Hippie hatred. It's become popular to hate hippies at Burning Man, partially, I think, because they so often want to talk to you about how they're really grooving on your aura, man, or about how the "energy" of the event is really great, etc etc. This drives me straight up the motherfucking wall every time. As a long-time resident of college towns, I used to get that energy bullshit all the time. I must be putting all sorts of bad energy out there right now. Sorry to pollute your energy field, dear eplaya...
But for me, this backlash has to do with an attitude on my part that says: Hey, quit fit my camp, my good time, my decisions, my kindness, into the new age weltanschauung that you showed up with. What the fuck do you care what sign I am? I am what I am, period, so accept it or go away. Black Rock is a rare place in that you are not judged for your past sins, jobs, or socioeconomic status. Part of the magic is its distance from the hokey, religious, classist, cloying culture we live in, and then there are these people who want to bind you up again.
If you get my drift, which I admit is getting pretty incoherent.

Otherwise... I work the event, so I do a lot of manual labor, but it's not because it's a general feeling of iron-clad wage slavery, as I often find work in the otuside world to be. It is a very voluntary event, and the work is donbe out of a feeling of community.
But I'm rambling. Sorry, I have a cold and have had a few hot toddies. Tja.
Oh, one more thing... I think the absence of advertising, even more than the absence of cash, does a lot to foster friendships.
Best of luck,
Mr. Wrong

[BlueBirdPoof]

it gave me a lot of ideas about Burning Man as a venue for liminality, where people turn everything upside down and the entire time in Black Rock is sacred time, outside of the secular world. Because social roles don't exist in sacred time, the opportunity arises for unrestrained communitas, which is the communion of people's true selves without the layers of social status, economic background, work environment, etc.

I find this interesting, because I actually think that BM is "just another ecxtatic festival." (I get a little bored of all the ONe of a kind, totally unique hype.) I don't have your background in the academia/anthropology of it all, but it does seem to connect with such festivals as Saturnalia, Mardi Gras (and its variations: Carnival, Fasching, etc.) and the like, and I'd like to pursue that as a topic. As much as possible without the terms "liminality" and "communitas" which are at the edges of my vocabulary, and just look a little pretentious outside of their academic context. (No offensence meant.)

[Angry Butterfly]

I am interested in this but my dysleicness and busyness is preventing me from reading all the posts. I kind of wandered into this whole neo techno pagan thing by "accident" ( note qutation marks ) and I do think it is a good topic for a paper as a friend of mine is doing grad work in this area and is currently starting a non profit exploring these kinds of themes, I am so not getting the animosity on this board as of late. I would be happy to speak to you on the phone if you are interested in talking to someone in person for your paper. PM me if interested.

[technopatra]

Please let it be known that many, many people are able, and do, connect with others without drugs.

I haven't found a life partner at Burning Man (yet), but this year I did meet a soul mate. One of those people that you just fall into an instant rapport with. He was a friend of a friend, and camped in my village during set up, moving to his "real" camp once the event got started.

He showed up when we were setting up my dome, and was one of many who pitched in and hoisted pvc and tarp. We made each other laugh from the get go, spent a couple of great nights hanging out and being brilliant together. Not much could happen sexually as he was already involved, and I don't truck with people in open relationships, but the most fun I had on the playa was running around with him like little kids, playing on everything that could be played on, gawking at everything that could be gawked at, and marveling at everything worthy of marvel. Which, with him, was everything.

We crashed out together twice - and just slept. I can never really sleep with another person in my bed. I can't seem to breathe regularly, and wake at the slighest movement. But spooning with him was like going home. I've never felt so comfy as I did lying in his arms.

Sigh.

[Capt'n Loadshot]

Burning Man means many different things to many different people. Some come for the nekedness, the drugs, or just to blow stuff up. Others come for the unique community that is expierenced here and only here. I, myself am a 2nd year burner. My first year (01) we spent too much time spectating and not enough time participating. But when we returned in 03 we knew what to expect, how to act, and most importantly what to bring (and what not to bring). However both years we were met with suprisingly open arms and kisses. Everyone is so glad to see everyone else it's like no other family reuinon anyone has ever been to.

Drugs. Drugs should be on most people's list of things to LEAVE at home. I have seen too many people ripped out of their gourd to even know who or where they are wandering aimlessly out on the open playa. This is the desert people. Harsh, unrelenting and unforgiving. You can and will get hurt. Stay out too late, wake up in the middle of nowhere, 2 miles from camp, without water, and you will see what I mean.

For me it's all about the music. I never hear the same old repeated crap.

Don't know if this helps but it sure was fun to write and remember.

Piss clear!

[Lorgasm]

To me Burningman IS a drug. I feel enlightened, loved, free, and happy. I have been to BRC twice and am currently planning my 3rd trip. I look forward to seeing everyone there and sharing moments. I love being a part of the energy, the creation, the vibe.

It is so moving to me to see everyone helping each other and loving and appreciating each other. I loved feeding my fellow brothers and sisters at the center camp. I loved giving gifts to as many people as I could. I loved the hugs, the warmth, and the love. Late Saturday night, after the burn, a very generous man in a cool art car, dressed in a "Tron" sort of way, came to me and my friend and gave us each cool bottles of water. He asked how we were doing, hung out with us for a while, then left. What a great person. My whole perspective on life and people has changed since Burningman. I have confronted many of my fears at BM and have learned sooooo much; about me and others.

Okay, I'll admit, some of the other "diversions" were cool too.

[Capt'n Loadshot]

My fondest memory that keeps me coming back:

On our very first night out on the playa, it was dark and we were worried. We had spent all day setting up camp (Monday), braving the foreign desert heat. Water, more water, dust mask..... etc. We had expierenced a few disagreements about land availability and were not quite feeling the happiness of the event. We got no further than the porta potties when our feelings had been permanently changed. A glowing soul turned the corner of porta pottie row, spiked mohawk and the craziest costume we had seen yet. We made eye contact and he ran at me, wrapped his arms around me, hugged me like a lost relative, and said "Welcome Home". He then succeded to hug the rest of my campmates, welcoming each of them as well. Quickly after that he was gone. Lost in the crowd and the darkness and I never found him again. If your out there somewhere, I love you and thank you.

That feeling has infected me to the core of my being. So much to the point that I knew I had to pass it on. I was given the chance last year and I in turn got to make someone's first arrival one they would never forget, with a simple hug and a welcome home.

So I guess the event is not just about the music to me. But rather it is about the overwhelming feeling of peace, community, and chaos.
Come to the desert with open arms and an open heart and lots of water.

[Lorgasm]

I can so relate. The mohawk fellow could've been my lover. He had a purple mohawk in 2002 and a black mohawk in 2003 (he's so cute).

On my first Burn, which was 2002, I was greeted at the entrance gate by a lovely princess in a kilt and tiara. She ran up to my window, smiled, and said those magical words you speak of, "Welcome Home". I just wanted to cry. Since then my love and I had spread the wealth to everyone...Welcome Home.

Can't wait to go home again.

[JimmyChaotic]

MortalCyn......

MadMatt is right...........As our favorite docter of journalism once said


BUT THE TICKET..... TAKE THE RIDE


If you want to write about burningman.....fuckin' go to burningman......If you want to write about drugs, you better take some drugs.........If you want to be an assclown writer you write about someone elses experinces......be young, have fun, try mesciline!!!!!!!

[Badger]

...words you speak of, "Welcome Home". I just wanted to cry.

You have NO idea how much I can relate.....

[JimmyChaotic]

but do not post on the E-Playa on mesciline....

the Doctor's quote is Buy the ticket, take the ride......

He also quotes "good mesciline comes on slow...............



ZANG........





bye
bye

bye
bye





uh.....hello?

[Rian Jackson]

Well, this thread is so old you might not be checking it, but what the hell.

Last year i had two amazing and very different experiences along these lines. One was the sort of affair that can only happen at BM. You get into the default world and realize that you're too different when all of life's other crap gets in the way. It might have lasted a month after - one of those interactions that veterans will tell you to leave behind you on the playa. But as far as falling into - maybe not love, but whatever - smittenness? - there's something about just being, and everyone geared up for sharing, experiencing. I think it peels layers off. Who knows if playa love is more or less real than what survives in the default world. Maybe it doesn't matter.

In the other situation, I met someone on the night of the burn, when the man was little more than smoldering toast. He was a drummer, and in his furs he looked seven feet tall with kind eyes and a certain mysterious intensity. We went in a group to another drum circle, and then I was dancing and he was drumming and the bonfire was leaping and there were a million eyes and souls and heartbeats in that one circle, one pool of energy from which we each drew. We played at contact and listened to stories. I fell asleep in his lap as he counseled another burner through a bad trip. Midmorning we went back to center camp, made new friends, drank water.... All of this with no drug other than fire and desert and night. Nothing *happened* because i was all crushing on person number one, among other reasons, but it was perfect just the way it was. We're still friends. I hope i see him on playa...

[Guest]

Hey guys