I have a plexiglass paperweight in the shape of an oil barrel with a big green tablespoon of oil inside it, given to employees or partners or someone by chevron. My all time favorite piece of incentivising garbage that I ever saw was a hunk of concrete, taken from a particular overpass that was given to some CalTrans guy at retirement. I didn't buy it because I had a couple of hours of greyhound riding for me to get home, but it was obviously cool enough that 15 years later, I still remember.
Lose your legs--Become a merit badge.
Remember, you're just a make-believe soldier in an artificial army.