You gotta go with #2 (no, not that, dirty mind you've got there). Maybe "pill" should have been "bitch." She earned that nickname by having lots of people killed. That incipid sweetness of the first one don't cut it.
Lose your legs--Become a merit badge.
Remember, you're just a make-believe soldier in an artificial army.
"So many people have so little clue and there's only a finite amount of patience in the world!" --International Incident.