Infidelity Offset

[Saki]

In the spirit of Burning Man's pop-culture, carbon neutral, 2007 goal, I invite everyone to also offset another activity through an equally stupid scam: http://www.cheatneutral.com/

[BoxaRox]

This is in perfect harmony with the 08 American Wet Dream theme!

[Taz]

Is this a joke? Are people actually going to literally "pay " for their infidelities and the faithful get "paid" for their integrity? Is this another spin on the collection plate at church?

[Ugly Dougly]

Is this a joke? Are people actually going to literally "pay " for their infidelities and the faithful get "paid" for their integrity? Is this another spin on the collection plate at church?

It is no joke. This program is fully supported by the Landover Baptist Church.

[MikeVDS]

I've been using this service since day 1. Really helps my conscious.

[Eric]

I wonder what happens if your "offsetter" slips and cheats themselves? Do you suddenly feel remorse for all your cheating? Do they have to get two offsetters to make up for their cheating?

I'll take Indulgences for $200 Alex.

[Taz]

I've been using this service since day 1. Really helps my conscious.

So how does this work? Do you just mail/ email in a sum of money that goes into a "community pot" that anybody who claims that they were cheated on, gets part of the distribution? Are they specific as to whom the wronged involved were and does it go to them?
There's another way of doing this and it usually comes through lawyers, namely paternity suits, child support, wage garnishments etc.

[Kinetik V]

Granted it's a service I would never use....I'm perfectly happy relationship wise, but the concept is certainly interesting. Those Landover Baptist folks are certainly up to some creative fundraising these days.

[MikeVDS]

So how does this work?

It's pretty simple. They take paypal and it's about $5 U.S. for a certificate that you can present to your mate as proof of your offset. Some of your money goes to management fees, of course, but the rest they invest in a project. Their projects are people who obviously do not have sex and are safe investments. By investing in them, the sex that they are not having is directly offsetting the sex that you are. See, it's really simple.

There's another way of doing this and it usually comes through lawyers, namely paternity suits, child support, wage garnishments etc.

That generally costs more than $5 and is what happens only if you don't offset the sex you are having. Great service. A+++++. Fast shipping! Great e-ba... wait. Wrong site.

[Taz]

It's pretty simple. They take paypal and it's about $5 U.S. for a certificate that you can present to your mate as proof of your offset.

So you present this certificate to your mate that you've cheated on to show you've turned a new leaf. How well does this $5. absolution actually work with your mate?

Some of your money goes to management fees, of course, but the rest they invest in a project. Their projects are people who obviously do not have sex and are safe investments. By investing in them, the sex that they are not having is directly offsetting the sex that you are. See, it's really simple.

Are these "projects" people who have been cheated on or simply people who are abstaining from sex?

That generally costs more than $5 and is what happens only if you don't offset the sex you are having. Great service. A+++++. Fast shipping! Great e-ba... wait. Wrong site.

What do you mean it doesn't offset the sex you are having? A guy with wage garnishments, child support has definitely less funding for sexual pursuits. It certainly is a more determining, deterent , meaningful resolution than a $5. paid pardon.

[MikeVDS]

So you present this certificate to your mate that you've cheated on to show you've turned a new leaf.

No no no. You're missing the point. You don't have to turn a new leaf since you're cheat neutral. It's like you never did it in the first place since you're sponsoring someone who was not having the sex you were having. It all balances out.

How well does this $5. absolution actually work with your mate?

It's not the amount of money that matters at all. It could be $0.01 or $100 and it's no different. The point is that someone is willing to accept it in order to remain sexless. It's that someone is not having sex for the sex you're having that makes all right, not the amount of money you spent on it.

Are these "projects" people who have been cheated on or simply people who are abstaining from sex?

The projects are abstaining from sex. If you give money to people who've been cheated on it does nothing because they could be fucking like rabbits still. That would prevent a balance.

A guy with wage garnishments, child support has definitely less funding for sexual pursuits.

This is true but this service is for people so you don't have to reach that point. Also the money going to your ex and teen children could be used toward sexual pursuits. If you remain cheat neutral you don't have to worry about that crap.

[Taz]

No no no. You're missing the point. You don't have to turn a new leaf since you're cheat neutral. It's like you never did it in the first place since you're sponsoring someone who was not having the sex you were having. It all balances out.

This is absolutely ridiculous! You pay some meager amount to those pledged not to have sex so that you can roll back the time to before you've committed the offense?
That's like I burgularize someones house and to ease my guilt, I make a donation to childrens crime prevention unit. That does nothing to reverse the damage you've committed! The damage is already done.

It's not the amount of money that matters at all. It could be $0.01 or $100 and it's no different. The point is that someone is willing to accept it in order to remain sexless.

Yeah, your mate! Instead of cheating on you as retaliation for your infidelity, they're restraining themselves on some ridiculous gesture of reconcile.

It's that someone is not having sex for the sex you're having that makes all right, not the amount of money you spent on it.

Abstention makes your sins right? Let me something, guns do not create murders. It's the person brandishing the gun with the willingness to pull the trigger for their malicious intent that creates murder. Guns are good because if you put those guns in the hands of good, moral people and they outgun the bad people, then order is reestablished.
Sex is good when it's in the right hands.

The projects are abstaining from sex. If you give money to people who've been cheated on it does nothing because they could be fucking like rabbits still.

So what, if they're doing it with someone of good moral character.

This is true but this service is for people so you don't have to reach that point.

Fat chance!

Also the money going to your ex and teen children could be used toward sexual pursuits.

Like extramarital affairs.

If you remain cheat neutral you don't have to worry about that crap.

Sorry, but I'll put my faith in the legal system.

[MikeVDS]

You pay some meager amount to those pledged not to have sex so that you can roll back the time to before you've committed the offense?

You don't roll anything back. You're neutral. It happened, you had sex, you cheated, but you're keeping yourself cheat neutral.

Abstention makes your sins right?

Sins? Who said anything about sins? Is this some sort of god thing?

So what, if they're doing it with someone of good moral character.

Moral character? This IS some sort of god thing.

Sorry, but I'll put my faith in the legal system.

That's your choice but it doesn't make economic sense. Also think of the children!

[Bin Noddin]

Sex is good when it's in the right hands.

Its even better when its elsewhere.

[Trixy]

way to keep em' hanging Mike.

Laughing my ass off here.

I think cheatneutral is the BEST thing to ever happen!

And I'm a card carrying member of the Landover Baptist Church.

Only you can save yourself from Jesus!

[Taz]

You don't roll anything back. You're neutral. It happened, you had sex, you cheated, but you're keeping yourself cheat neutral.

Any non-contender is neutral. During WWII Switzerland was neutral. That is, it supposedly did NOT take part in the conflict- axis or allied. YOU ARE part of the conflict. THEREFORE YOU cannot be neutral!

Sins? Who said anything about sins? Is this some sort of god thing?

Uhhhhh...buddy, this is sponsored by some joker bishop in the Baptist church. Do you get it?

Moral character? This IS some sort of god thing.

Baptist CHURCH! You are getting it!

That's your choice but it doesn't make economic sense. Also think of the children!

Sure does make economic sense! If someone burgularizes my house , when I catch up to them I'm going to make sure they pay for anything they've stolen and whatever damage they inflicted. I won't accept that they made some friggin' donation to some crime preventative program.
Furthermore, if MY mate ever cheated on me and brought this stupid paid pardon to me, I'd stick it up her ass before I kick her out the door.
I AM thinking about the children! I'm showing them that a cheat deserves exactly what's coming to them- to be ejected from the trusted relationship with a judgement for the damage inflicted upon it. They'll think twice should they ever think of becoming a cheater!

[MikeVDS]

If someone burgularizes my house , when I catch up to them I'm going to make sure they pay for anything they've stolen and whatever damage they inflicted.

If someone burglarizes your house there is monetary damage. Exact amounts can be placed on those items and repaid. How much monetary damage does having sex cause? It doesn't cause damage in fact. If your partner never found out, then there was no problem at all. It's not about the partner of the cheater, it's only about the cheater. Don't think about how you would feel if your partner cheated on you, that's not what this is about. Think about how your partner would feel if she cheated and you knew nothing about it. That's why you aren't seeing this issue clearly. So she doesn't tell you, you are fine, no damage done. She will still be left with some guilt because cheating and excess sexual activity has been done. By remaining cheat neutral she can ease her pain by knowing that all is balanced in the world. Get it? It's not all about you.

Furthermore, if MY mate ever cheated on me and brought this stupid paid pardon to me, I'd stick it up her ass before I kick her out the door.

Which is why she likely won't even give you the certificate. She'll cheat, remain happily neutral, and you'll remain happy and ignorant to the fact that she's been cheating. All will remain balanced.

Uhhhhh...buddy, this is sponsored by some joker bishop in the Baptist church. Do you get it?

But only Jebus can take your sins away. He's just trying to balance out cheating. Completely different issues. It doesn't matter if this comes from the pope or Johnny Knoxville. You are the one trying to say it has something to do with sins, which it doesn't.

[Taz]

If someone burglarizes your house there is monetary damage. Exact amounts can be placed on those items and repaid. How much monetary damage does having sex cause? It doesn't cause damage in fact. If your partner never found out, then there was no problem at all. It's not about the partner of the cheater, it's only about the cheater. Don't think about how you would feel if your partner cheated on you, that's not what this is about. Think about how your partner would feel if she cheated and you knew nothing about it. That's why you aren't seeing this issue clearly. So she doesn't tell you, you are fine, no damage done. She will still be left with some guilt because cheating and excess sexual activity has been done. By remaining cheat neutral she can ease her pain by knowing that all is balanced in the world. Get it? It's not all about you.

So you are saying ignorance is bliss. What you don't know , can't hurt you, right. Well you certainly take the ostriche's approach to life.
How much damage does sex have? Well let's see. Have you heard the latest costs for the treatment of
AIDS, syphilus, herpes or the host of other STDs? Have you heard, if so elected , the cost for an abortion? Have you heard the latest costs for raising an illegitimate child to the age 18 or wherever they can support themselves OR if there are complications and they turn up handicapped?
I'm sure you'd have no problems with that once your mate handed over to you that certificate then later discovered complications. What the heck are you going to think of your program then?
Okay , let's say I go speeding on the freeway at twice the speed limit. I don't hit anything , no cops are around, I don't get caught. I do it again and I don't get caught. How long do you expect my luck to hold out when I think everything is neutral each time? AT SOME TIME probability WILL catch up to you and there will be a catastrophic result.
Now you're saying if my partner cheated on me and I didn't find out, there'd be no harm done. Well then WHY is it when you've cheated on your mate do you present her with a certificate? What is that to say? Hey, I cheated on you this time but nothing happened ha, ha!

Which is why she likely won't even give you the certificate. She'll cheat, remain happily neutral, and you'll remain happy and ignorant to the fact that she's been cheating. All will remain balanced.

Why do you think they call them cheats? A cheater lies because they KNOW that they cannot conceal their deceptive nature if they told the truth. Oh , I'll be happily ignorant? Like if we had a mole in our defense department and the security of the nation has been compromised while the mole has been GENEROUSLY rewarded in bringing down the stability of this country. That's the balance?

But only Jebus can take your sins away. He's just trying to balance out cheating. Completely different issues. It doesn't matter if this comes from the pope or Johnny Knoxville. You are the one trying to say it has something to do with sins, which it doesn't.

Buddy, you are subscribing to a program that is fostered by the Baptist church. THEY are the ones telling you about sin and Jesus Christ. I'm not even religious. I'm an agnostic but I know the laws of cause and effect. I know about karma. Can Jesus Christ take away your sins? I don't know, maybe he can. What I think he's doing is trying to get you to be responsible for your actions which you're not.

[MikeVDS]

So you are saying ignorance is bliss. What you don't know , can't hurt you, right. Well you certainly take the ostriche's approach to life.

That's not hiding from anything, sometimes you don't have a choice in your ignorance, so you're only choices are to stress about things you don't and will never know or just enjoy the ignorance. I, for one, wish to remain happy.

How much damage does sex have? Well let's see...

blah blah blah

Have you heard of a condom? How about still having a responsible relationship regardless of who it's with? This is not a stupidity offset. You still have to deal with the real problems you create, just not the ones that only exist in our heads.

Well then WHY is it when you've cheated on your mate do you present her with a certificate? What is that to say? Hey, I cheated on you this time but nothing happened ha, ha!

The offset helps us deal with our emotions, which is the whole issue in the first place.

Like if we had a mole in our defense department and the security of the nation has been compromised while the mole has been GENEROUSLY rewarded in bringing down the stability of this country.

It's not at all like this. Since you started the stupid analogy things I'll play too. It's more like a known double agent. You know he's talking to other people, but you still want him to talk to you.

Buddy, you are subscribing to a program that is fostered by the Baptist church.

So what? They also have programs that feed and shelter the homeless and save lives every day. Just because it's a church sponsored program does not make it bad. To me something is good or bad based on it's merit, not depending on who's sponsoring it.

[Bin Noddin]

Be saved:
http://www.landoverbaptist.org/

[Taz]

That's not hiding from anything, sometimes you don't have a choice in your ignorance, so you're only choices are to stress about things you don't and will never know or just enjoy the ignorance. I, for one, wish to remain happy.

But YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE IN YOUR IGNORANCE! You can either ADMIT to your mate of your infidelity and own up to it like a man or you can leave your partner in mystery saying"Honey , I did something bad but it turned out okay and I made donations to someone else so they won't repeat what I did."
Stress about things you don't and will never know???? Believe me, when little miss one-night -stand comes back to you with the results from the clinic test---you'll know.
Yeah , I guess the ostriche will be happy after he spots the approaching lion and buries his head in the security of the sand. Until the lion severs it from the rest of his body. At least he died happy.

Have you heard of a condom?

Yes, have you ever heard of a seat belt, designated drive, anti-lock brakes, personal breath analyzers, a taxi? Funny how all these methods exist and yet WE STILL HAVE ACCIDENTS! The ONLY 100% safe method is---get this---ABSTENTION. Would you have guessed?

How about still having a responsible relationship regardless of who it's with?

What!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Having committed infidelity and giving a nebulous clue is acting responsibly???????? I tell you , if you ACTED responsible in the first place, NONE of this would have happened.

This is not a stupidity offset. You still have to deal with the real problems you create, just not the ones that only exist in our heads.

You're dang right! If you've committed infidelity you will certainly still have to deal with the problem not just gloss over it by saying you're neutral.

The offset helps us deal with our emotions, which is the whole issue in the first place.

Okay , you get a call from an anonymous caller saying " There's a bomb in your dominion set to go off in 30 minutes--click" I'll bet that really helps you deal with your emotions.

It's not at all like this. Since you started the stupid analogy things I'll play too. It's more like a known double agent. You know he's talking to other people, but you still want him to talk to you.

For once , I am following you. That's like if I'm undercover and I'm playing collaborator with a little fish dealer so I can plant a sting on the Godfather drug lord. Now that's IF there is a BIGGER culprit behind the scandal. So tell me, in your relationship, WHO ARE YOU GOING AFTER? THe escort service, the mafia, the devil? All my matters just concern two people so I don't worry about that.

So what? They also have programs that feed and shelter the homeless and save lives every day. Just because it's a church sponsored program does not make it bad. To me something is good or bad based on it's merit, not depending on who's sponsoring it.

Who said anything about them doing something bad? YOUR question was
"Who's calling this sin?" My answer was "It's the Baptist church who originated this program that refers to it as sin, not me. I call it cause and effect."

[MikeVDS]

But YOU DO HAVE A CHOICE IN YOUR IGNORANCE! You can either ADMIT to your mate of your infidelity and own up to it like a man or you can leave your partner in mystery saying

I think you misunderstand the meaning of that word. You're ignorant if you don't know something. Admitting something reduces someone else's ignorance, not your own. Unless you're willing to somehow try to force it our of your mate, you're stuck with it. I'm not into the torture thing.

Funny how all these methods exist and yet WE STILL HAVE ACCIDENTS!

So you're against all sex unless it's purely for procreation? If that's you're bias you should have said that at the beginning. The problem is that not everyone feels the "risks" aren't worth taking. In fact most studies show that most of us choose to take that risk.

Having committed infidelity and giving a nebulous clue is acting responsibly????????

You can treat sex responsibly or not. It's your prerogative if you think other "immoral" acts are irresponsible. I was talking about the act of sex in general, not about some specific situation that you may consider immoral.

If you've committed infidelity you will certainly still have to deal with the problem not just gloss over it by saying you're neutral.

You missed the whole point here. The infidelity part is the one just in your head. If you don't know about it, then there is magically no problem? It's just one you make up in your head, unlike a nail in your hand is a real problem you cannot just gloss over.

[Taz]

Hey Mike, I should have started this tread by asking you up front but I didn't think it was going to last this long. Have you ever been cheated on?
Do you believe in God? Are you religious? If so, which one?

I think you misunderstand the meaning of that word. You're ignorant if you don't know something.

Oh, so you were talking about keeping YOUR MATE in the dark. Silly of me to think you chose to remain ignorant.

Admitting something reduces someone else's ignorance, not your own.

Precisely , like when former president Clinton announced to the press, "I did not have sex with that woman, Monica Lewinsky." Heck, why would he want to reduce somebody else's ignorance?

Unless you're willing to somehow try to force it our of your mate, you're stuck with it.

Aww common Mike! CAn you tell me how it is possible to FORCE someone to be ignorant?

I'm not into the torture thing.

No , you're into the denial omission thing.

So you're against all sex unless it's purely for procreation? If that's you're bias you should have said that at the beginning. The problem is that not everyone feels the "risks" aren't worth taking. In fact most studies show that most of us choose to take that risk.

Mike , do you listen to anything I've TOLD you in the beginning? Go back over the previous posts. I said distinctly SEX IS GOOD! Sex doesn't create infidelity, people do!
The "risks" I was talking about are the risks of conducting covert illicit copulations outside that that is fostered within the agreements with

your primary partner, S.O. or whomever you've agreed to be faithful to. In other words- CHEATING.

You can treat sex responsibly or not. It's your prerogative if you think other "immoral" acts are irresponsible. I was talking about the act of sex in general, not about some specific situation that you may consider immoral.

Hey Mike, this whole article is sexual responsibility. I said that you cannot cover up for an affair by giving nebulous answers to your mate and gloss over it with some donation to some good cause. You've tried to defend having an affair by saying it's possible to lie to your mate if you use proper safeguards and you act sexually responsible with your illicit partner. What????? You can act sexually responsible with your illicit partner but not with your primary mate that you have entered into a legitimate commitment??????????? Well the answer to your problem Mike is to break it off with your primary partner whom you cannot act sexually responsible with and start up with your sleezy partner in crime and be sexually responsible with her. That way you can reverse your condition. You can be faithfull to her and she can cheat on you like the dickens since she already KNOWS that you're a cheat anyway. But realisticly , that won't happen since if you can cheat on one , it is highly , highly, unlikely that you can completely tabula rasa , and renew pure as the driven snow. But , at least the two of you are on the same cheating level .

You missed the whole point here. The infidelity part is the one just in your head. If you don't know about it, then there is magically no problem? It's just one you make up in your head, unlike a nail in your hand is a real problem you cannot just gloss over.

Oh, is this like the adultery of the mind like former president Jimmy Carter was talking about? Okay Mike, tell me , which part is just in your head.1.You have a mate
that you have entered a committed relationship with. Real or imagined? 2. You had sex with a person that is outside of the terms that committed relationship with primary mate in part #1. Real or imagined? 3. You did not reveal to primary mate the details of the illicit rondevous with the party in #2. Real or imagined?
Mike, you are ommitting information to your primary partner that would jepardize her welfare. Are you saying that she is not entitled to this information?
This ALL goes back to WHAT I said in the beginning. You say there is bliss in ignorance when you are withholding information from those closest to you when you bring them into harms way. You're saying , if they don't know about it, it can't harm them. Mike , take a hint from fighter pilots when engaged in a dogfight. It's not the planes that you can see that get you killed, it's the one's you can't that do you in.

[MikeVDS]

Have you ever been cheated on?

Yep. I only wish they'd offered this service at the time. She was a good one and it really fucked up our relationship. If she could have only sponsored some ugo reject to miss out on perhaps the only opportunity he might have to get laid. Hahaha. Even you have to chuckle about that.

Do you believe in God?

The one true God.

Oh, so you were talking about keeping YOUR MATE in the dark. Silly of me to think you chose to remain ignorant.

OK. Reality check here. The people who embrace this service will not need to remain ignorant. They will have certificates in their hands. It is only people like you who will be lied to. You put yourself in the position so that should you ever be cheated on, you're very likely going to be lied to about it. Those who embrace the service won't. So when I'm talking, I'm talking about YOUR potential mate, not mine. That is YOUR situation.

CAn you tell me how it is possible to FORCE someone to be ignorant?

What are you talking about? Please pick up a dictionary and read the definition of that word. Right now you're ignorant to what I ate for breakfast. Right now I'm keeping you ignorant to that fact.

The "risks" I was talking about are the risks of conducting covert illicit copulations outside that that is fostered within the agreements with

your primary partner, S.O. or whomever you've agreed to be faithful to.

Then why didn't you say that. You went droning on and on about STDs etc when they were admittedly irrelevant?

You've tried to defend having an affair by saying it's possible to lie to your mate if you use proper safeguards and you act sexually responsible with your illicit partner.

NO! You must offset dummy!

You can be faithfull to her and she can cheat on you like the dickens since she already KNOWS that you're a cheat anyway.

If you offset and give her the certificate she knows too.

3. You did not reveal to primary mate the details of the illicit rondevous with the party in #2

Imagined. You give her the certificate!!!!!!!

[Taz]

Yep. I only wish they'd offered this service at the time. She was a good one and it really fucked up our relationship. If she could have only sponsored some ugo reject to miss out on perhaps the only opportunity he might have to get laid. Hahaha. Even you have to chuckle about that.

How did it feel when she violated your trust? Did you feel she did some irreverseable damage to you?
Now , kindly explain to me how this service would have helped you through it. Would you have forgiven her? Does it reverse any of the pain , potential health risks she exposed you to WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT, loss of trust that you've acquired?

The one true God.

As expressed by what religion? Buddhism, Islam, Christianity, or your own personal vision?

OK. Reality check here. The people who embrace this service will not need to remain ignorant.

I see that, they know that you have committed some kind of impropriety
but not who it was with- her best friend, her mother, her sister, her daughter. Do any of these people probe deeper into this?

It is only people like you who will be lied to. You put yourself in the position so that should you ever be cheated on, you're very likely going to be lied to about it.

Is this kinda like , don't ask, don't tell. By the way , the courts determined that that was unconstitutional so now they'll have to come up with a new policy.
Anyway Sherlock, IF you had READ my three conditions of infidelity, if someone makes a pack that they will remain faithful to you and you alone, then goes out and has sex with someone OTHER than you, THEY HAVE LIED! Not only that , but the shear presence of the certificate TESTIFIES TO THAT. So what the hell do you mean that I will be the ONLY one lied to?

What are you talking about? Please pick up a dictionary and read the definition of that word. Right now you're ignorant to what I ate for breakfast. Right now I'm keeping you ignorant to that fact.

Exactly what I said , how can you force someone to be ignorant. To be ignorant means not to gather information. So how can you force me not to torture you into confessing what you ate for breakfast or cutting you open to see what you consumed or on a more civilized level , get a court order to have your stomach pumped NOT that I would ever consider to do any of those things but how would you stop me?

Then why didn't you say that.

I did.

You went droning on and on about STDs etc when they were admittedly irrelevant?

Irrelevent to who? They were totally relevent as risks to a cheater. Now answer my question.

NO! You must offset dummy!

This is what I keep asking you to explain to me. You think that you can pull of the perfect crime EACH time so as to make it seem like it never happened! Every explanations you've given me so far DO NOT EXPLAIN how "offset" does that. Care to try again?

You can be faithfull to her and she can cheat on you like the dickens since she already KNOWS that you're a cheat anyway.

If you offset and give her the certificate she knows too.

MIKE! READ the lines right before YOUR comment! It says if YOU are faithful! That means YOU did not cheat on her! So WHY would YOU be giving HER a certificate?????????????

Imagined. You give her the certificate!!!!!!!

What the hell is on this certificate? Does it DETAIL who the second party was, if you still remember who it was or does it say " Oh yes, Mike had a fling but he paid some honorable ,respectable group who would be VERY deserving of sexual interactions NOT TO HAVE IT because it relieves his conscience , what little there is of one, of the guilt for committing the offense in the first place.

[Bin Noddin]

They are as effective as pollution offsets that PEPCO's power plant in Alexandria can buy from plants elsewhere that emit far less than the rules allow. The folks in Alexandria still have to deal with the fumes and dirt.
They are as effective as carbon offsets burners buy so some guy in Mali will plant trees. The burners happily continue to spew.
Who here doesn't get the joke?
Yeah, she cheated on me. Yeah, it hurt like a knife in the gut for a long time. Yeah, other things about her made it worthwhile to grow past the pain.

[MikeVDS]

How did it feel when she violated your trust? ... Does it reverse any of the pain , potential health risks she exposed you to WITHOUT YOUR KNOWLEDGE OR CONSENT, loss of trust that you've acquired?

It sucked and yeah the offset reverses the pain. You do get it!! Yipee!

As expressed by what religion?

Do you really not know this? I'm sorry, now it just feels like you're trying to fuck with me. I said the one true God already!

Do any of these people probe deeper into this?

There is no point as long as you offset.

So what the hell do you mean that I will be the ONLY one lied to?

Good point. You will be the only one who will be continually lied to. Sorry for the error.


From dictionary.com

ig·no·rant /ˈɪgnərənt/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[ig-ner-uhnt] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned: an ignorant man.
2. lacking knowledge or information as to a particular subject or fact: ignorant of quantum physics.
3. uninformed; unaware.
4. due to or showing lack of knowledge or training: an ignorant statement.

To be ignorant means not to gather information.

Sorry, it's about having information, not seeking it, which is why you should have looked it up. So I'm still keeping you ignorant to what I had for breakfast. I cannot keep you ignorant in general, but I can to certain facts that only I know.

They were totally relevent as risks to a cheater.

No. They are relevant to anyone who has sex, regardless of if they are "cheating" or not. It's irrelevant to this discussion.

You think that you can pull of the perfect crime EACH time so as to make it seem like it never happened! Every explanations you've given me so far DO NOT EXPLAIN how "offset" does that. Care to try again?

If you can make it like it never happened no one would care about the "crime". The reason we criminalize things is because people do notice they happened. That's the whole point of this service. I don't see what you don't understand about that. I do understand that you personally don't feel like the offset works for you, but why do you care if it works for others?

Quote:
You can be faithfull to her and she can cheat on you like the dickens since she already KNOWS that you're a cheat anyway.

If you offset and give her the certificate she knows too.


MIKE! READ the lines right before YOUR comment! It says if YOU are faithful! That means YOU did not cheat on her! So WHY would YOU be giving HER a certificate?????????????

Sorry, I was responding to the whole thing you posted where it starts with me cheating and leads to me hooking up with the girl I cheated with so at least she knows. My point is that with this service, you never have to break up with the first one, and you don't have to continue to lie to her. You broke the trust but you made up for it 100%.

What the hell is on this certificate? Does it DETAIL who the second party was, if you still remember who it was or does it say " Oh yes, Mike had a fling but he paid some honorable ,respectable group who would be VERY deserving of sexual interactions NOT TO HAVE IT because it relieves his conscience , what little there is of one, of the guilt for committing the offense in the first place.

Pretty much all of the above. Pretty spiffy eh?! I'll have to see if I can dig one up and I'll scan it in.

Bin Noddin wrote:

Who here doesn't get the joke?

At first I thought we all did, but after a few posts it became clear that one of us does not.

Bin Noddin wrote:

They are as effective as pollution offsets...

See Taz? If it's good enough for Al Gore, it's good enough for me! *does a tap dance*

[Saki]

They are as effective as pollution offsets that PEPCO's power plant in Alexandria can buy from plants elsewhere that emit far less than the rules allow. The folks in Alexandria still have to deal with the fumes and dirt.
They are as effective as carbon offsets burners buy so some guy in Mali will plant trees. The burners happily continue to spew.
Who here doesn't get the joke?
Yeah, she cheated on me. Yeah, it hurt like a knife in the gut for a long time. Yeah, other things about her made it worthwhile to grow past the pain.

Here is some text from CheatNeutral for those that are confused:

"This site is designed to highlight some of the issues surrounding carbon offsetting and we hope you realise that it is satirical in intent. We do not advocate cheating on your loved ones, and we do not in all seriousness suggest that it is possible to 'offset' doing so, nor are we responsible for any distress caused by using our service."

[Bin Noddin]

Ach, Saki, you had to go and ruin the funniest thread on e-Playa with your damned dose of reality. All right boys, take five in a neutral corner and come out fighting. Still laughing.

[Taz]

It sucked and yeah the offset reverses the pain. You do get it!! Yipee!

Nope, but let's continue on the line with your cheating mate. Would you have felt less pain if you KNEW that she had him wear a condom as he was banging her? Next , would you have felt less pain IF you KNEW she was acting sexually responsible? Okay would it make you feel better if you could verify these steps? Well screw the certificate which goes through some profiteering clergymen. ELIMINATE THE MIDDLEMEN! Insist that she film the event and deliver it to you personally! Can you beat that?

Do you really not know this? I'm sorry, now it just feels like you're trying to fuck with me. I said the one true God already!

OH, I SO REALLY DO NOT KNOW THAT. Are you playing the ommission game with me?

There is no point as long as you offset.

I didn't ask for your opinion, I asked for the facts. Do you know of anyone that did not probe deeper into the nature of your offense- yes or no?

Good point. You will be the only one who will be continually lied to. Sorry for the error.

Now, how do you KNOW that I will be the only one that will be continually lied to by everyone I meet? Are you psychic? Have ESP? Have a crystal ball?

1. lacking in knowledge or training; unlearned: an ignorant man.



To be ignorant means not to gather information.

Sorry, it's about having information, not seeking it, which is why you should have looked it up.

Why, it's exactly as I said. Knowledge is not innate. That is , it is not there as soon as you are born. Knowledge (data) is acquired through experience. THe only way you can force a person not to experience is by killing them. So did you mean you're going to kill everyone?

About what you had for breakfast. Wait until I torture you , cut open or pump your stomach out.

No. They are relevant to anyone who has sex, regardless of if they are "cheating" or not. It's irrelevant to this discussion.

You know , you have a point there. The consequence for for cheating on your taxes is a jail sentance. Since our discussion is about cheating in the sexual sense then those terms are totally relevant to the discussion.

If you can make it like it never happened no one would care about the "crime". The reason we criminalize things is because people do notice they happened. That's the whole point of this service.

There you go again! You're saying you can pull off the perfect crime every time over and over. The perfect crime is one where no one finds out . The problem with that is that the crime is a fact and it remains to bring it's effect as soon as the illusion wears away.

I don't see what you don't understand about that. I do understand that you personally don't feel like the offset works for you, but why do you care if it works for others?

I totally understand criminals dream of the perfect crime. It's been around for ages and ages. As long as the dream to turn straw into gold.
The problem is the law of averages. The truth eventually catches up to you. Often a lot sooner than you think. Offset doesn't work for me because it doesn't reverse the crime which I am concerned about. Hey, I don't care if people pursue the perfect crime the rest of their lives. They will be the one's paying for it , not me.

Sorry, I was responding to the whole thing you posted where it starts with me cheating and leads to me hooking up with the girl I cheated with so at least she knows. My point is that with this service, you never have to break up with the first one, and you don't have to continue to lie to her.

You never had to lie to her in the first place so what do you mean you don't have to continually lie to her? What do you mean you don't have to break up with her? What makes you think, after everything you've done to violate her that she'll even stick around? Are all your members masochists?

You broke the trust but you made up for it 100%.

How can you put together something that's been ripped in half back together 100%? If I ripped your heart out , can you put it back together 100%? Are you Jesus Christ? The BEST you can do is to start all over from 0% to as far as you can get.

Pretty much all of the above. Pretty spiffy eh?! I'll have to see if I can dig one up and I'll scan it in.

As I said before , you should cut out the clergymen and just video tape the entire event but for now I'd just settle to see a scanning.